We are standing at the corner of the bar engaged in light flirty conversation. The dialogue at the time was concerning the last season of True Blood and how the Post Office damaged one of my Netflix DVDs. It is pretty much your standard fluff talk to help build comfort in the attraction process.
As the night moves on the conversation starts to pitter out and I struggle to think of the next move, but before I can do or say anything she slips away into the night. Bummer.
—
It’s been three days since the interaction and, like a bonehead, I’m just now realizing that the cute girl from the bar gave me a vital piece of information for allowing me to take her home that night. Here is her signal of attraction that was giving me the green light:
Me: Oh yea, I’m really into True Blood lately, I’m on the second season and just waiting for the last disc to arrive from Netflix
Her: OMG! I loooovvveee True Blood! It sucks though because since I just moved here I don’t have a TV yet and don’t really like watching the episodes on my tiny laptop.
Did you see what happened there? On the surface it seems like just a regular conversation about a television show. However, on the subsurface, she is providing me a very important signal and plan on how to seduce her. She loves True Blood but doesn’t have a TV; I love True Blood and I have a TV. What I should have done is invite her over right then and there to watch True Blood, like so:
Me: You know what would be a good idea? We go get some popcorn and beer and watch some True Blood at my place
I know for some out there, this type of signal of attraction may seem obvious and simple, but you’d be surprised at how many guys are completely oblivious to the signals a girl sends his way.
Of course, the nice thing here is that she’s not only sending a signal but also a prepackaged plan for how to get her home. It’s brilliant on her part.
If you guys read Assanova’s blog, which you should, you’ll know that his approach to seduction is quite practical and talks a lot about simply listening and watching for a woman’s signals of attraction.
Luckily, I’m usually much better at catching most signals from women these days, though like the above example, they do slip by me from time to time. So, the lesson from all this: Pay Attention to the Signals!
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Very smooth on her part. I like it.
Sometimes I feel like I can’t possibly give more signals unless I were to flash the guy - and he still doesn’t pick up on it. If and when he ever does realize I’m interested, we’ll talk about it later and I’ll point out all the times I was dropping the hint and I get things like “wow I didn’t even notice that” sigh. Yea, I know…
Jennifer,
Yep, I see this all the time, particularly when I’m out at a college bar and notice an attractive girl practically throwing her skirt over a guys head and yet he never makes a move.
It kind of reminds me of my college days and now that I think back, I realize that there were so many missed opportunities. The funny thing is, it wasn’t so much that I was bad at meeting women back then (though I thought I was), it was really that I was too oblivious when a woman actually showed interest in me.
Funny… I’m sure a lot of men are in the same position as you were.
Some of my guy friends have asked me “if you like him, why don’t you just approach him?” I don’t want to! I want and crave a dominant man who has enough confidence to walk up to me and get what he wants. It’s a turn on.
Matt, glad you’re back posting. My take is here:
http://gameformarriage.blogspot.com/2010/09/missed-indicators-of-interest-ioi.html
You are absolutely right. I was talking to a woman with huge implants at the beach a couple weeks ago and she asked me where I lived, and then told me where she lived, and I totally missed it.
AlphaMaledom,
Usually if I girl asks where you live out of nowhere, than that’s a pretty decent indicator of interest right there. It’s basically a signal that she’s already trying to work out seduction location logistics in her head while at the same time giving you the signal that she’s interested.
She’s calculating it in her head how long it will take to drive there at 2am one drunk evening (maybe, that same evening you were talking to her…) and most likely trying to find out who ELSE lives there with you.
Matt, this is good…and SO true. This is as close as it gets (beyond body language) when it comes to a woman showing interest. I tell women all the time to say things like this in hopes that men pick up on these cues but men miss it more often than not.
As a follow up, you should post a time in the future when you get the cue and you capitalize.
That was pretty obvious man
Another thing you missed is that women love trueblood because it’s mostly just SEX SEX SEX, every girl i know LOVES this show…you would have been in there guaranteed man.
Yeah, I hate it when a guy seems utterly incapable of picking up on the signals I’m putting out. Sometimes feels I need to get a big banner out and - even then - he probably wouldn’t get the hint…
Excellent point that many men could use to hear. The effect of men missing these signals is exacerbated by things like He’s Just Not That Into You telling us that you’re not “missing” our signals, but rather intentionally dismissing them because, well, you’re just not that into us. For insecure females, this effect might work in your favor; however, a confident girl will just shrug and move on.
What signals do we (girls) miss from guys?