Though there are probably many different traits in which would make a guy creepy, there is one that readily stands out in the bar/club environment – the act of staring.

It’s something I try to avoid particularly while around girls, and unless there is mutual eye contact, which is quite different, long bouts of ogling an attractive female will not go unnoticed and more likely put you in the creepy guy category.

So with that in mind, it was a bit of surprise when I was approached by a girl from a neighboring hen party at a busy college bar. Here was her opener:

“Please stop looking over at us because nothing is gonna happen” she said.

Huh, not quite what I was expecting, especially considering that our own little group was pretty involved in our own conversations, while mostly ignoring the people around us.

Though it’s true that my wingman had approached the group earlier in the night, I don’t feel like there was any excessive attention given to any of these girls, which makes me wonder how aware we are of our staring habits.

Being men, we are visual creatures, so when we spot a female who’s large jumbly boobies are popping out of an extra small t-shirt, then we are going to look. We know we aren’t supposed to stare at them, even though we want to, so we tend to make quick glances or ogle them from the corners of our eyes.

However, what we might think is a quick glance, is probably more of an eternity for a self conscious woman. And though you might not think she doesn’t notice you gazing her up and down, she does, and frankly it comes off as creepy.

It’s a bit of a catch 22 I suppose, with women dressing up in their sluttiest outfits, parading around, showing off the goods, yet get offended when we look at them like a piece of meat.

So what’s a man to do?

Well, for starters, I think sticking to the timeless advice of the 3 second rule of approaching is good. Seeing a girl and then talking to her right away is far less of a creep maneuver than staring at her for an hour and then approaching.

The second thing which I find effective, is to always be engaged in a conversation with someone else, man or woman, or a group of people, anything to keep your eyes focused and not wandering around the room. If you are just standing there idly, what else is there to do but start checking out random girls. Not only will your idle staring put you in the creepy guy category but you’ll also look like you don’t have any friends, which is not a good look for a social environment.

It’s midnight.  I’m tired.  I’m hungry.

My stomach is growling. I can’t get to sleep.  Sigh…

I walk to the kitchen and open the refrigerator.  I stand there and stare for what feels like hours.  It’s a disparaging sight.

The top shelf consists of several condiments: ketchup, dijon mustard, a jar of dill pickles, mayonnaise and peanut butter .  The bottom shelf contains a water pitcher, several slices of bread and a half bottle of Italian dressing, which appears to be solidifying before my eyes.

The cupboards are bare.  The nearest pizza joint is closed.  Not a lot options.  What do I do?

My hand reaches for the bread and the jar of peanut butter.  A peanut butter sandwich is the only logical solution in these dire times.  Though, some jelly would be nice… sigh…

To be honest, I’m not even sure the addition of jelly could satisfy my taste buds now.  I’ve eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches my whole life.  They used to be great when I was kid.  They were so fun and exciting.  PBJ sandwiches we’d call ‘em, but now… meh… they’re alright, but not quite as fun anymore.

Sometimes we get used to things.  We get comfortable with what we’ve been doing our entire lives.  We live in a comfort zone in which all activities that occur are a passing thought.

These particular activities aren’t relegated to simple late night snacks either.  No, this zone exists in our everyday lives.  We go about, doing what we we’ve always done and getting what we’ve always got.  Yet, we all dream of better lives.

Sometimes, it’s necessary to break free from the daily trudge. Perhaps that means doing something you never imagined doing before. Perhaps it means taking up a new hobby, traveling to some exotic new place or even approaching a stunningly beautiful woman.

Sometimes, we need to get a rush of life, we need to feel inspired, we need to be excited again.  Sometimes we need to brush aside those doubts in our heads.  Sometimes we just need to pull the trigger.

The refrigerator door is still open.  The electricity bill is soaring.  I reach down and grab the jar of pickles.

It’s now 1:30 in the morning.  I am no longer tired.  I am no longer hungry.

I feel inspired to write about this.

I just ate a peanut butter and pickle sandwich…

…and it was delicious

It’s a dark and stormy night.  I am laying in bed.  I can’t fall asleep.  It’s two o’clock in the morning and I’m watching the Antiques Road Show on PBS.  For some reason, this is one of my favorite shows… I’m addicted.

There is something intriguing about it’s concept.  For those who have never watched, it goes something like this.  A bunch of people bring in some old junk from their attic.  Then, a guy in a suit pulls a big dollar sign out of his ass and attaches it to the junk.

To think that some ‘thing’ can go from sitting in a dusty attic to having a value of thousands of dollars is pretty amazing.  What’s even more amazing is how the people react to the news that they now possess something of great value.  You can actually see the look of bliss spread across their faces, as if they had just won the lottery.

If we think back to our economics class, we know that the worth of something or it’s value, has something to do with the supply and demand for that thing.  We also know that something is only worth what others are willing to pay for it.  Essentially, value is a perception of one’s needs.

With this in mind, does someone really “need” an ugly green vase from 1892?  If someone put that same vase in front of you and you had no knowledge of it’s market, would you be able to put a value on it?  You could make a guess, but unless you’re an expert on Victorian Age vases, you could only come up with a value based on your own perceptions.  Those perceptions would likely include: that it’s old, it’s ugly and it has little utility value.  What on earth would make someone pay thousands of dollars, let alone a couple of bucks, to acquire this thing?

Here’s a few thoughts on what would make a ‘thing’ valuable:

• It is rare or scarce.  People always desire things that other people can’t or don’t have.
  
• It has utility value, something that enhances or makes your life easier, usually a tool of some sort.
  
• It has sentimental or emotional value, like a family heirloom.
• It has a good story.

Being scarce, though a reasonable value indicator, doesn’t necessarily make something valuable.  My original artwork of stick figures on a napkin, though the only one of its kind, probably isn’t going to be worth anything.

The utility of something is a good indicator as well, but what makes a 19th century hammer more valuable than a hammer of today?  Certainly a brand new hammer would be preferable to building a house than an antique hammer of yesteryear.

Then we have sentimental value, however, this value is only realized by a handful of people at most.  One person’s heirloom isn’t going to have the same value to another completely unrelated person.

The above three value traits are indicators only under certain circumstances.  However, there is one trait on the Antiques Road Show that everything of significant value did have, a good story.

After watching the show numerous times, it becomes easy to predict the value of antiques simply by how elaborate the stories become.  When the appraiser starts digging deep into the history of a certain item, you just know that it’s going be worth some big bucks.  The better the history and story the better the value of that antique.  It’s really an interesting phenomenon.

If we go back to our definition of value, the perception of ones need, it’s hard to correlate how a story adds value to something.  I think the answer is easy.  Humans NEED stories.  It’s ingrained into our psyche.  How do I know this?  Because stories have been around since the beginning of mankind.  Ever since cavemen began drawing on cave walls up to our present day medium of movies, television, books and video games, humans have created and consumed a countless number of stories.

Even present day items can be given value with a good story.  Have you heard about the lady who sold a $5 pack of Pokemon cards on eBay for a few hundred dollars simply by writing a story about it?

By now, you probably want to know how this applies to picking up women.  I’ve blathered on enough about antiques and this IS a pick up artist blog after all.

I’m convinced that a story can add value to just about anything.  So, if a story can add value to an inanimate object, like an ugly green vase, then why can’t it add value to, lets say….a person?

There is a reason that almost all of the top pick up artists teach the art of story telling in their products.  Being able to tell a good story, not only adds value to yourself, but also gives value to the people you tell it to.  You are fulfilling their NEED for a good story.

All of the naturals I’ve met, the guys that just seemed to click with women, all had one thing in common.  They used a certain type of routine.  Of course they didn’t know it was a routine, but it was something that they perfected and repeated as a method of attraction.  That’s right, they were all great story tellers.

Walk into any social situation and look around.  Who are the most people gathered around?  Who has the most people captivated?  Chances are that it’s not the shy wallflower standing against the wall.  The guy who is telling a lively story in the middle of the room is the one getting peoples’ attention.

When you add value to yourself and to others, your stock goes up.  You become more desirable.  You become the pursued.

…It’s almost three o’clock in the morning now.  The Antiques Road Show is now rolling the credits.  I’m still not able to fall asleep.

I look across the room where there are two ukuleles sitting against the wall.  One is fairly new, bought several months ago for forty dollars.  The other one is quite old, from 1957.  It has a crack on the back panel, the strings are worn and it doesn’t stay in tune very well. 

I walk over and pick up the older ukulele.  I prefer it over the newer one, despite it’s rough shape.  It belonged to my grandfather.  He bought it while stationed in Germany just after he married my Grandmother.  He wanted to learn how to play a simple instrument to help pass time on his ship.  And he has some pretty good stories about it.

Ever wonder why the world’s greatest seducers are so fond of tight pants? It is not because they look particularly good or are even remotely comfortable. The real reason is to make the ass look tight. It’s true, women love a tight little ass. In fact, 40% of women are most attracted to the buttocks, much more than any other part of the male body. So, wearing pants that allow you to show off your ass makes sense as a way to be more attractive.

Pick up Artist Tested, Girl Approved

When I first discovered and started reading about the seduction community one of the first concepts I picked up on was the use of tight fitting pants. Pick-up artists such as Mystery and Neil Strauss were constantly outfitting there students in skin tight pants. We even see a great example of this in the second episode of VH1′s The Pick Up Artist reality show where each contestant is shown coming out of a dressing room in the tightest pants he’s ever worn in their lives.

I remember the first time I bought a truly good fitting pair of jeans. They hugged my ass nicely and the crotch was dangerously close to mushing my testicles into the taint. Despite the uncomfortable feel, I did receive a huge reaction from my many lady friends at the time. “Wow, I love your new style” became a commonly heard phrase. Yes, just a simple change of jeans meant that I had a completely different style. From that day forth I have abandoned the baggy saggy pants that plagued my past and the only thing I look for in pants is how it makes my ass look.

Rock Stars and Men in Uniform

The tight pants look isn’t just for pick-up artists, it is a common trait amongst all male sex symbols. Just look at rock/pop stars like Mick Jagger, Bruce Springsteen and especially Lenny Kravitz. All of these men are known for their tight jeans and similarly cute asses.

Also, it is common that women love a man in uniform. It is my belief that the reason this is true is that most uniforms fit well and help to show off the butt. Some uniforms are more attractive than others and are probably based on tightness of the ass area. For example, a football player is probably going to score higher on the attraction meter than say an infantry man. Think about it; police men, Sailors and Spanish Matadors all have pants that fit well and hug the ass. Women swoon over these guys. Coincidence? I think not.

The Science of Tight Butts

We know that cute little male asses are attractive to females but what is the reason behind this? According to the The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease it’s because of our fundamental need for mating.

The secret is that a tight, muscular rear is necessary to make the strong forward thrusting motion needed for successful sperm transfer during sex. A man with a fat or flabby derriere has difficulty with this forward movement and has a tendency to throw his entire body weight into the thrust. For women, this isn’t ideal, as the man’s weight can be uncomfortable on her and make it difficult to breathe. By contrast, the small, tight rear promises a greater chance of doing an effective job.

Use Discretion Where Needed

Obviously, you don’t want to go overboard in the tight jeans department. There is a difference between tight well fitting jeans and spray on pants. If you look ridiculous then you’re kind of defeating the whole purpose of the tight jean philosophy, which is to attract women with your butt, not scare them off.

Also, be sure to avoid the dreaded male camel toe at ALL COSTS!

So there you have it. Want to attract women? Start by getting a tight pair of jeans.