Kiss Close

Last Sunday, as I’m heading out the door to watch the Pats game at the local pub, I get a call from an old female friend of mine. I haven’t talked to her in over a year, so it was a bit surprising to get a call from her out of the blue.

Swim Girl: Hey, what are you doing for the Pats game?
M.Savage: Oh, I was just about to head over to the local pub, why don’t you meet me down there?
Swim Girl: Okay, I’ll see you in ten minutes.
M.Savage: Great, I’ll see you there.

The phone conversation was short and to the point. It was like we were both on a mission with similar agendas.

I head down to the local pub and commandeer a small table for the two us. She walks in, I hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek. The normal “catching up” conversation ensues.

We watch the game. It was off the hook. The whole pub was on the edge of their seats during the entire 4th quarter. Finally the place erupts in cheers and high fives. We are victorious!

After things settle down, I get into some light banter with Swim Girl. Every so often she lightly touches my arm or my thigh. I grab her hand and hold it while continuing to get into good rapport.

There is a moment in the conversation where the words stop. I give her a deep hard look into her eyes and convey my intentions. She knows.

She tells me that she has to go now. As she gets up I walk her outside. She tells me goodbye, but I don’t let her go. I grab her hand, pull her close to my body and kiss her.

I give her that deep hard look again. I tell her to come over but she doesn’t want things to be weird in the morning. I reassure her that everything will be fine and we head back to my place.

As soon as we enter the bedroom, there is a frenzy of kissing and groping. Clothes start to come off. I kiss her neck and I caress her breasts. She gives me a massage. We don’t have sex as there is some resistance. It’s fine because I know I have just created a friend with benefits. The urge to resist tonight will pay itself off with a regular flow of dividends in the future.

First, this is a long field report, but it’s good. Actually, it is probably more of a tragic comedy than a field report. The first parts of the night are a bit standard approaching but it gets really entertaining towards the end. So, if you are only interested in the good stuff then I’d recommend scrolling down to the section titled “Good Stuff.”

Irish Pub

Approach 44: While watching the playoff games with some buddies, I see a tall attractive woman sitting by herself (we’ll call her HBJanis). I smile at her from across the room and make a motion with my hand to “come hither.” She does. I say hi and ask her if she’s alone and she is. I tell her to hang out with our group. She turns out to be really cool and we all get acquainted and continue watching the game. She is really flirty with all of us and agrees to come to Karaoke with us after the game is over.

Karaoke Bar

Approach 45: We arrive at the Karaoke bar, however, have to wait outside because the place is packed full. While waiting I open a HB who is also waiting to get in. I ask her what songs she is going to sing tonight. She tells me she probably isn’t going to sing because she’s not a good singer, bla, bla, bla. I bust on her for going to a Karaoke bar and not singing. Finally, a bouncer that I know comes outside and says I can go in. I tell the HB I’ll talk to her later.

Approach 46: Inside the bar, there is some chode singing that “Hippity Hop” song and it is the most awful thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I immediately approach a HB and another dude standing near the bar.

Savage: Wow, this is quite possibly the best rendition of this song I’ve ever heard, what do you think?
HB: Haha, oh yea definitely
Savage: What are you two singing tonight, anything as good as this guy?
HB: oh yea, (mentions some song), what are you going to do?
Savage: Oh I’m singing, “It’s Raining Men”!
HB: What!?! Oh my god are you serious (gives me a weird look)?
Savage: Oh yea, it’s a classic, you want to do it with me, it can be a duet?
HB: Hahaha, ok well if you do it, then I’ll sing with you
Savage: ok cool, I’ll sign us up later.

At this point, I’m forced to eject because HBJanis pulls me up to the stage to sing some Janis Joplin song - hence HBJanis.

Approach 47: After singing, I spot another HB (HBAlanis) sitting at the bar looking through one of the song books. I approach from the side. I gently touch her shoulder, she looks up at me and I say:

Savage: Hi, so what are we going to sing tonight?
HBAlanis: huh?
Savage: Well, if we are going to be a duet, then I need to know what song we are singing together
HBAlanis: Oh, haha, ok well I was thinking about an Alanis Morissette song
Savage: Ah perfect, I do an excellent “You Oughta Know”
HBAlanis: really
Savage: yea listen (I start mumbling and singing the song in funny exaggerated way)

She laughs at my attempts to sing and I tell her to come and get me when we are about to go on. I eject to go to the bathroom.

Approach 48: As I’m coming back from the bathroom, I walk by two HBs playing pool. I say hi and chat with them real quick. I eventually eject as they are mostly occupied by the pool game.
——

I go back towards the stage area and just as someone starts to sing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” HBJanis grabs my arm. We start slow dancing. Things start to heat up a bit as our hands start to wander. I even dip her during part of the song, which was quite a feat for me considering this girl was about 5 to 6 inches taller than me.

At one point during the dance, HBJanis makes a quick motion with her hand and accidentally scratches my forehead with one of her fingernails.

Savage: oh shit, you just scratched me!
HBJanis: oh my god, I’m soooo sorry!
Savage: (I point to the scratch) Kiss it better (she kisses my forehead)
Savage: ok my turn (I kiss her on the lips, we have a quick make out until I pull away)

There is some more heavy petting as we continue to dance. Once the song is over, she suddenly ejects for some reason and leaves me standing alone on the dance floor.

Approach 49: While standing on the dance floor I look over to the side and see a HB (HBscarf). I say, “hi”. She says hi back and then grabs my hand and we start dancing. Hahaha, this is almost too easy! I dance with this girl for a bit until I eject to go look for HBJanis.

Approach 50: I didn’t get too far in my search when I see a cute asian HB eyeing me from the bar. I approach and say, “Hi”. We talk about the bad Karaoke singers. The conversation doesn’t last long because some chode spills his drink near us and gets it all over the HB. She ends up running off to the bathroom.

Good Stuff

I continue to search for HBJanis but I get ambushed by none other than Tattoo Girl from my first lay!!! She grabs my hand and starts to reel me in. Yikes! I don’t want anything to do with her, I just want to focus on HBJanis.

Suddenly, HBAlanis (not to be confused with HBJanis) who appears on the other side of me grabs my other hand and starts pulling too. Now, these two girls are having a tug of war over me!! I struggle to release my hand from Tattoo Girl. I finally get free and HBAlanis pulls me over and starts grinding the shit out of me. I brush her hair to the side and go in for the kiss. Nice!

At this point, I’m thinking that I don’t want to trigger HBAlanis’ ASD by having a make-out session in the middle of the bar. I tell her that I am starving and that we should go get some food. She agrees and we leave the bar together.

I ask her if there is anything open this late. She suggests that we go to a local pizza place near her apartment to get food to bring it back to her place. I agree and we start walking down the street holding hands.

As we are walking she starts throwing in some preemptive last minute resistance:

HBAlanis: I need to tell you something just so you don’t get the wrong idea
Savage: ok, lay it on me
HBAlanis: I just broke up with my boyfriend after seven years of dating. We were actually engaged but it didn’t work out (I notice that she is still wearing her engagement ring!). So, I’m not really ready to do anything with you tonight because I’m still a bit emotional over this whole thing.
Savage: Ok ok, I understand. Listen, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I just think you are a really cool girl and I like you.
HBAlanis: Ok, as long as you understand that we are not going to have sex tonight. We aren’t even going to make out or anything, but if you want to stay over you can, we just can’t do anything.
Savage: Alright, listen, lets just go eat our food and call it a night okay?
HBAlanis: Ok. (long pause) Well, we can probably make out but that is it.

I put my arm around her waist as we are walking and don’t say anything else until we get our food and get back to her apartment.

We are now inside her apartment. I throw the food on the table, we sit on the couch, and I start making out with her. I help her take her boots off and then I take my shoes off. She pulls away from me for a bit and we begin eating our food.

Ok, this part is a bit embarrassing. As we are eating our food I accidentally farted. It wasn’t really loud and it didn’t smell (thank god) but it was enough for her to comment on it.

HBAlanis: Oh my god, did you just fart?
Savage: (I try to play it off as something funny) Uhh no…I think there is a loose board over here or something….haha

She laugh a little bit but it is hard to tell what she is thinking. I know this is definitely a turn-off. Shit.

Just then, her roommate burst in the door and she is completely drunk. She looks over at me and says hi. I realize that this is HBscarf whom I danced with earlier in the night. She starts bumbling around the apartment trying to get to her bedroom. I hear other voices in the hallway. HBAlanis gets up to see what is going on.

Finally, after sitting on the couch for 10 minutes by myself, HBAlanis returns but now there is some dude with her. The guy is holding a giant bottle of wine and taking swigs from it. It turns out he is the next door neighbor. He introduces himself and sits down on the couch right next to me while HBAlanis sits on the other side. ARRRGGHHHHHH, WTF!!!!!!!

I talk with the dude thinking that I need to blow him out. The guy keeps trying to tool on me and I notice HBAlanis becoming less and less interested in me. At this point I am so frustrated and exhausted (it’s around 3:30AM) that I decide it’s time to just call it quits. I tell them that it’s late and I need to get going. I tell them both it was a pleasure meeting them and I leave.

Summary

I must say, this was definitely an interesting night. There were certainly some things that I could learn from. The first thing that comes to mind is, don’t fart!

Secondly, I think the problem with the ASD from HBAlanis was that I didn’t get enough comfort in before trying to seduce her. I tried to go straight from attraction to seduction which typically does not result in a lay. Also, the disruption by the roommate and the chode neighbor certainly didn’t help matters. I probably would have had a better chance of laying HBJanis because of better rapport and had spent more time with her throughout the night.

Despite the inherent set-backs, it was still a good night. I am continuing to get my approach numbers up and am seeing some results. Other then my first lay, this is the only other night I have extracted a girl to her place with the intention of seducing her.

As always, I would appreciate any advice from experienced pick up artists, particularly on overcoming the ASD at the end of the night.

I am surrounded by a table filled with women. All of them beautiful with glimmering eyes and inviting smiles. All of them potential conquests.

I am sitting back in my chair, relaxed and confident. I don’t speak often; it is not necessary as I let my eyes do the talking. My gaze slowly moves around the table from one beauty to the next. Each one its own affair. Each one its own little plot. I look deep into their eyes and caress their souls. I know I have overcome them when their bodies go limp, melting into their chairs. It thrills me to know that I have given them pleasure; that I have given them the hope of romance.

The band is playing now. I gesture for one of my beauties to meet me on the floor. We dance. Not too fast and not too slow. I dazzle her with my footwork. She dazzles me with her exuberance.

My attention is averted when I see another beauty. She is a stunning woman. There is an air of boldness around her. She moves gracefully like a princess. Her dance is seductive. She attracts the gaze of every chump in the bar, but they are no match for her. She is too skilled. She is too powerful. She is a temptress.

My temptress is accompanied by an older fellow. He has the look of a rich man but the mind of a fool. I can see it in his mannerisms, he is clumsy and awkward. Worst of all he is needy. He will never know the joy of giving a woman pleasure. He only exists to take for himself. He is not deserving of my sweet princess.

I continue to dance with my previous beauty, but my greed for love leaves me thinking only of the princess. Finally, I see an opportunity. The fool excuses himself to the restroom. I quickly seat my beauty and approach my target.

I come from the side and gently touch the back of her shoulder. She turns and looks into my eyes as if she has been waiting for this moment her whole life. I do not worry about what to say, the words aren’t important, it is the way they are conveyed that makes it seductive. I give her a backhanded compliment about her dancing abilities. She is taken aback, not used to this type of treatment. I entice her into some playful banter. She giggles at my brand of humor.

Enough of this talk. I only seek victory. I embrace the hand of my sweet and twirl her around. She allows me to move her body around the dance floor in the most elegant of ways. Our bodies synchronize. We are one. The world disappears. It is only us who exist. It is only us who inhabit this small area of floor.

I lock eyes with my siren. I have embraced her soul. Her powers are rendered useless. I pull her in close to me so that our noses touch. Our lips touch. Time stops. It is a simple kiss yet it is filled with passion. I can tell from her eyes that her heart is mine.

From the corner of my eye I see the fool approaching. I break unity from my sweet. He introduces himself. I have no knowledge of what he may have seen. Never the less, I befriend him. He is intimidated by my confidence. He knows that I am alpha to his beta. He supplicates and offers to buy me a drink which I accept only so that I can be alone with my love.

The fool proves not to be a complete idiot as he insists on keeping a watchful eye over us. It is no matter though for my eyes allow me to touch her body in ways that the fool will never understand. She knows what I am doing to her and she readily returns the favor.

The fool returns with my drink as if to bribe me from my intentions. It does not work. Seeing this, he only has one option, to get the princess as far away from me as possible. And so the fool and the princess retreat from the bar.

As she is being dragged away she looks back at me with her intoxicating gaze. She knows she will never see me again. I accept this knowing that we have already touched each other’s souls. It is over. I return to my table of beauties.

Well last Saturday I made some good progress. I went out to meet up with some old friends of mine and two of my current wings at a piano bar. One of these friends was my best friends sister, who is very attractive. Now, I had no intention of trying to pick-up on her because it would likely cause a lot of tension between me and her brother, who is one of my best friends. However, because this girl (we’ll call her HBsister) is attractive, fun and flirtatious I figured that she would make a great pivot for attracting other girls and increasing my social proof.

Throughout the night we were having a great time dancing and singing a long to the music with HBsister. At one point me and my wings opened up a three set of women (2 HB7s and 1 HB6). We chit chat for a bit and then HBsister unexpectedly came dancing in to the middle of the group and started grinding up on me and my wings. With this little jealous move, HBsister managed to scare away the three set, while keeping the attention of our group on her. A bit later she asked me if I was mad that she scared the girls off. I said, “no, I think you actually helped us out by giving us more social proof,” which after explaining the concept of social proof decided she wanted to help us out. So, we then go around the bar dancing and grinding with HBsister in front of other HBs. Not only was this really fun but for the rest of the night most of the girls in the place were constantly looking over at us.

Later in the night, HBsister and her friends decide to leave the bar. This just leaves me and my two wingmen to continue the sarge. I head out onto the dance floor and see one of the HB7s (we’ll call her HBphilly) from the above three set. She is standing alone on the dance floor, so I just go right up to her and say “hi” with a big smile, grab her hand and begin dancing with her. Luckily, I am a phenomenal dancer which she mentions to me. She is having a good time and eventually a slow song comes on (I think it was “Don’t Stop Believing”) and I bring her in real close.

At first, I am holding her hands in a traditional dance position but escalate a bit by actually placing her hands around my neck and shoulders while I place both my hands around her waist basically pressing our bodies together real tight. As we are dancing, I am singing into her ear and she keeps griping my body tighter and tighter. This is when I know that I have this in the bag so whisper into her ear:

MSavage: you know that the nose has more nerve endings then the lips and that’s why Eskimos kiss with their noses
HBphilly: really?
MSavage: yea really, here let me show you (we rub our noses together)

She goes DDB on me and I just go in for the kiss. We tongue-down on the dance floor and her buying temp is through the fucking roof. Unfortunately, this lead to her ASD kicking in around closing time. After making out we talk for a bit, tells me she is from out of town (philly) and is visiting her friends for the weekend, bla bla bla, and she gives me her number. I try isolating her to another venue but it’s too late, the friends swoop in and steal her away. Shit.

Two days later I send her a text message asking when the next time she will back in town. She says she doesn’t know but will definitely hit me up when she does come back. Not sure if this is true or not but it does appear that she is interested in meeting again but who knows when that could happen.

So, to recap, the social proof was pretty good and I feel like my escalating worked well too with the Eskimo kiss close. However, there are definitely some major flaws in this field report.

1) I probably should have isolated her before escalating and pumping the BT
2) I didn’t do a good job at winning over the friends which would have been useful to keep them from cock blocking me at the end of the night.
3) The tongue down on the dance floor probably wasn’t a good idea consider it was in front of a bunch of people and likely triggered her ASD

There it is, one of my better nights of sarging in a lonnnnggg time. Any critique of this field report would be much appreciated. Thanks.

The Modern Savage

Tags: Romance and Relationships, seduction, pua, neil strauss, pick up artist