Inner Game

It is ten o’clock in the morning. I am sitting in a small room in the basement of an old apartment complex. Unlike the rest of the musty concrete basement, this particular room has been newly renovated. There is a brand new glass door which separates the room from the rest of the complex, freshly painted white walls and a shiny new wooden floor. The room is completely empty with the exception of a small folding table and four folding chairs where we now sit. This is the Free Your Mind Company World Headquarters.

Sitting to my right is a half sleepy Wingman Stick. To my left is Mr. Black who is carefully reading over a two page business concept I had written the previous night. A smirk spreads across the old man’s face as he looks over to me and says in his sharp Boston accent, “Holy fahcking shit, this is beautiful, absolutely fahking beautiful!”

“Uhhh, thanks.” I say, “I thought this might be right up your alley.”

“Oh yea, you bet it is. Listen…” he pauses for a second, “let me ask you, where do you see yourself in the future?”

“Ummm, I’m not sure, I guess just being successful at whatever it is I do.”

“Ah, I see. You know what? You just told me everything I need to know about you. In that one little sentence you told me that, basically, you’re a chicken shit!”

“Oh…”

“You say that you want to be successful but you have no clear picture at what you want to be successful at. You haven’t got the balls to commit to your future yet. All you gave me was a fuzzy picture of your future and you know what that’s gonna get you? Absolutely shit. Do you understand what I’m saying here?”

“Yea, I think so.”

“OK then. This idea you brought me today is worth at least…a quarter million. Now, if you can visualize yourself going through with this project and making it happen, I’m willing to finance it. Now let me ask you again, where do you see yourself in the future?” Mr. Black says in the most serious of tones.

“I see you, Wingman Stick and I working on this project, completing it and making a ton of money.”

“Make it happen” he says.

With those final words the meeting is over. I walk out of the basement and think to myself, “holy fahking shit!”

There is a common piece of advice in the seduction community that is often given to newbies. It is called “getting out of your comfort zone.” This is often used in terms of overcoming approach anxiety. Basically, your comfort zone refers to doing things that you are only comfortable doing. An example of this is going out to a bar and only socializing with your friends rather than meeting new friends.

So, to get out of your comfort zone, you need to do things that you are not comfortable with. The strategy behind this is that if you get out of your comfort zone enough times, you will get used to it, and thus will become comfortable with it. The idea is to be constantly expanding your comfort zone by doing things outside of the zone. Makes sense, right?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about a subset of this topic. I call it “getting out of your comfort location.” We all have place we go that make us feel safe, whether it be a certain bar, a restaurant, your home, the mall, or whatever your favorite place to hang out is. This place is your comfort location. If you’ve read my blog before then you won’t be surprised that my comfort location is the Local Pub.

I love my local pub. I know all of the bar staff, it’s relaxing, and I never have a problem socializing or meeting people there. The problem is that when I get into the habit of going to the pub all the time, I am putting a lot of limits on myself. Limits are not good. I want to go beyond the limits. I want to be able to walk into ANY place, recognize opportunities, and make the best of ALL situations. The only way to accomplish this is to always be going to new places, trying new things and meeting new people.

A good example of this was when I went to Goth Night. This was something that was way outside of my comfort zone. Goth night was very bizarre at first but once we settled in and began talking with people it was no longer an uncomfortable situation. And most importantly, I was introduced to a whole new group of attractive women!

I’ve become a bit lazy lately because I haven’t been getting out of my comfort location enough. I need to start doing more things than just going to the local pub. Perhaps I’ll start traveling to different neighborhoods or going to see different kinds of shows. I live in a big city, so the possibilities are endless really.

So, stay tuned for some new adventures in seduction.

Strewn about the coffee table are the remnants of Chinese food. I lean back on the couch with my stomach ready to burst.

“Ah, General Gao, you were a bloodthirsty foe, but your chicken is delectable!”

There is only one more thing needed to win this battle. I deploy a flanking maneuver and grab the golden crusted cookie. With zero resistance I am able to subdue the cookie and steal its secret message. It contains one of the most profound fortunes I’ve ever read.

“You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.”

I hold the message closer and read it several more times, trying to absorb the meaning. My thoughts begin to swirl into a storm of emotion and introspection. What does it all mean?

It’s about passion.

There has been a shift in the seduction community lately. Many well known pick-up artists are not only moving away from routine based game towards more natural game, but are now moving towards what I call “lifestyle game.” They are starting to adapt the thinking that what is really seductive about a man is the way he leads his life. It is essentially his lifestyle that attracts women and not all the different tactics and techniques that pick-up artists are known for.

So how do you lead a seductive lifestyle? Easy. You have to be passionate about something. You need to have a driving force in your life. A purpose for living.

A few movie quotes come to mind in this regard. One is from one of my favorite movies, Adaptation.

“There are too many ideas and too many people. And too many directions to go. I was starting to believe that the reason it matters to care passionately about something, is that it whittles the world down to a more manageable size.” - Susan Orlean

This is almost the same thing that the cookie told me! If you don’t have a focus, a passion, then you end up all over the place, never really accomplishing anything in life.

Remember the movie City Slickers? There is one scene where Curly tells Mitch that he knows the secret of life.

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch: But, what is the “one thing?”
Curly: [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.

In the end of the movie we find out that the one thing, the secret of life, is different for everyone. That one thing is whatever you care most about in your life.

As for myself, there are so many things in my life that I enjoy doing and so many things that I want to accomplish. Surprisingly, this is a problem. There are too many directions I want to go and too many things I want to do that it is making it difficult for me to get anywhere at all. There is no focus. There is no real passion.

So what is my one thing? What is my passion? I have no idea. I know what I enjoy and I know what my interests are but I’m not too sure which of these I am truly passionate about. Even worse, what if my passion is something that I don’t even know about yet? Maybe my passion is to be a circus juggler or a rodeo cowboy, who knows, it could be anything!

Figuring out your passion in life is not something to take lightly. It’s not something you can just pick out of a hat or decide on a whim. This is going to have to take some serious thought and effort. If I figure it out I’ll let you know.

I’m sitting down at lunch eating my bowl of soup while reading the paper, when in walks a beautiful young woman. She reminds me of a younger Eva Mendes. She is stunning.

She sits down at the table next to me. I continue reading my paper while glancing at her every now and then. I begin to notice her glancing in my direction. I should say something.

She glances over again. Is she looking at me? What else could she be looking at? I’m the only one sitting on this side of her. Maybe she is attracted to me. Maybe she wants me to talk to her. I really should talk to her.

I continue reading my newspaper. I am not sure what I am thinking. What do I have to lose. This whole situation is the reason why I study seduction in the first place. After all, what good is it to call myself a seduction artist when I can’t even talk to a beautiful woman who keeps looking at me. I’m going to say something. I’m going to talk to her right now.

I turn my head towards her. She looks over at me and smiles. My mouth drops open as I am about to speak. Nothing comes out.

She’s still looking at me, waiting. My mind is blank. Somehow I’ve forgotten the concept of language. I close my mouth and just smile back, as I turn my head back towards the newspaper.

I can feel her disappointment. I can feel my disappointment. All I had to do was say something, say anything. It would have been better than nothing. I know better than this. It is time for another change in my game.

From this day forth I will make it my goal to talk to one new woman each day. I don’t have to get into a long involved conversation with them, I just need to say something; I just need to anything!

The time and place for seduction is not two nights a week at some bar or club. The time for seduction is ANY TIME. The place for seduction is EVERYWHERE.

I finish my soup and get up to leave. As I’m exiting the store, another young woman is walking in. I stop and hold the door for her.

As she walks in I say, “Hi.”

“Hi.” she replies with a smile.

I continue on back to work feeling better already.