Do you ever feel like this?

As I eject the DVD, I can’t help but feel relieved that this was the last in the series. I was determined to finish all five seasons and I did. While watching the last episode as Claire drives off into the sunset, I can feel the tension of the show lifting from my shoulders.

“It’s finally over,” I say to myself, “the rollercoaster of emotion, the grief, the sadness; I no longer have to deal with the depression that comes with a television drama based on death.” This is Six Feet Under.

After running out of quality cable TV shows, I had finally decided to put the entire five seasons of Six Feet Under in my NetFlix queue. However, despite being a good show, it made me feel incredibly depressed and over the course of several weeks found my mind filled with negative emotions. Could watching a simple television show really have this much impact on one’s emotional state?

When I had started researching seduction, one of the first recommendations for new guys was to rid your life of anything that would be detrimental to your mindset. This included songs, movies, books, etc., that were either negative or somehow related to supplicating beta male behavior. At the time, I pretty much disregarded this advice since I felt generally positive already, but now it makes much more sense to pay attention to this stuff.

When I think back to all the times that I have done well with women, I have always been in a very positive and motivated state of mind. Conversely, during those three weeks of watching Six Feet Under, I was a complete mess around women. One girl even called me a “Debbie Downer” while I was rambling on about terminal illnesses. Talk about a seductive conversation, this was just shooting myself in the foot.

It’s funny how watching a simple television show could have such an effect on our mental and emotional state, but there does seem to be truth in the notion that the things we surround ourselves with will effect our moods.

For those that don’t believe this, just think about how you feel after watching a really funny comedy act or funny movie. If it makes you laugh, then more often than not, your mood is elevated to a more positive state afterwards.

So, I’ve been thinking about other things that I’ve been reading lately that may cause me to have more negative emotions:

• Reading & Watching the News: I read the paper every morning and sometimes watch the evening news on TV and I must say it really sucks. There’s so much negative shit going on in the news that it’s a total downer and really there isn’t much reason to keep reading or watching it.
• Mens Rights Issues: though I do think the MRAs raise some important issues in gender equality and men’s rights in general, a lot of the blogs and message boards link to articles which infuriate me and causes me to feel some resentment towards women, when really it’s only a small portion of women that are screwing men over. Here’s the thing, I love women, so even if a small portion of my mind is feeling resentment, then that’s probably going to come across during my interactions with them. It’s not good and it’s not attractive.

I think that sometimes when we are in a bad mood or feeling like we have a lot of negative emotions, it’s good to stop for a moment and recount what we’ve been feeding to our brains.

What are some things that have made you a Debbie Downer? What do you do to get into a more positive state of mind?

For many men height can be an issue and being a short guy tends to cause those men to have a lot of hang-ups in life. You see, the self-esteem issues of being short for a male is like being overweight for a female. The only difference is that while weight can be lost, our height is permanent.

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this on the blog before but I’m 5 foot 4 inches, so I think I’m qualified to talk about this. And though I don’t have any secrets of short guy seduction or magical words of wisdom, I would like to posit some observations I’ve made as it pertains to this issue.

1. Don’t Take Your Height for Granted, It Could Be Worse

It used to piss me off when guys who were 5’8 or even 5’6 would complain on public forums about how tough they had it. Of course, being a shorter guy, I’d resent them and say, “Dude, if only I were that tall I’d be cleaning up.” Then some other guy who was even shorter would chime in and bitch me out for complaining.

As much as you complain about how you have it tough, just remember that there is always someone shorter than you who wishes he were in your position. Unless you’re Verne Troyer you shouldn’t complain. By the way, Verne Troyer gets laid like a rock star.

2.  Take Advantage of Accessories

I have a pair of platform shoes. It took me a long time to find a pair that was stylish and could easily integrate into my wardrobe but it was well worth it. Not only do they look good and get a lot of compliments, but they boost my height by about two and a half inches. Two and a half inches may not seem like much but it does wonders for your confidence, which is what really matters.

Women wear high heals to improve their looks, why can’t we?

3. Forget About the Minor Bullshit and Open Your Eyes

I was in a local bar the other night when my dream girl walked in. I’ve seen her around town before and have even talked to her on a few occasions. She’s incredibly attractive and a really cool person, the whole package. I’m not sure why I never pursued her, perhaps I still have some underlying confidence issues.

Her boyfriend came into the bar that night and what I saw was a shock to my system. The boyfriend was the spitting image of myself, we could have been twins! Same height, looks, body type; the only difference between us was that he was overflowing with confidence and machismo. Shit, that could have easily been me with this amazing girl.

Sometimes we don’t realize what’s possible until we see it happen. Sometimes we are Neil…

GEORGE: Some guy. Some guy? Neil! I have got to find out how he could get a girl like Danielle.
JERRY: George, you’ve got Danielle. Forget about Neil. You’ve out-Neiled him.
GEORGE: So, I’m Neil? How did I do that?
JERRY: I don’t know, but you better keep it up.
GEORGE: I’m gonna go meet Danielle. There’s a new Neil in
town!

4. Flying Under The Radar

On another night, I had been hitting on a cute girl when a shorter friend of mine (5’2″) swooped in and stole her out from under my nose. He took her home that night before I had even realized what happened. Ironically, I had swooped in and stole her away from a six foot tall giant earlier in the night.

The shorter the guy, the easier it is to fly under the radar.

5. Short and Athletic Trumps Tall, Fat and Frumpy

Another time, I observed a short but athletic guy come into the bar with his girlfriend. He couldn’t have been more than 5’3, yet he was built like a bulldog. She towered over him by about six inches and could have easily been a model for the Suicide Girls.

Later, I asked him how he got such an attractive girlfriend and his response:

“You gotta hit the gym man; take care of your body and the girls will take care of you.”

6. The Average Woman is Shorter Than the Average Man

It’s true that women tend to be attracted to taller men. Here’s the thing, taller doesn’t always mean six feet, it’s more of a relative term compared to the woman.

It’s also true that women on average are shorter than men on average. This means that it’s highly likely there is a whole population of cute shorter women waiting for you.

As short as you are, you will always be taller relative to your shorter female counterparts.

7. Life Is Not Fair, Deal With It

Just because you get dealt a bad hand in the gene pool doesn’t mean you can fold your cards and wait for the next hand. There is no next hand. You can only work with the cards you’ve been dealt. Yes, you’ll have to work harder, but so what, what else could you possibly do?

—
So there you go, just a few thoughts on dating for short guys. I’d love to get some opinions on this topic from both male and female readers, particularly:

If there are any short men out there who have had a lot of success in the dating game, please share your stories.

If there are any tall women who date or are in a relationship with a short man, please let us know what attracted you to him.

While entering the tiny shop off of a barren side street, I’m greeted by the one man who has the power to boost my machismo to a whole new level. He’s a man with magic fingers and the dexterity of a championship thumb wrestler. Sure, he might be a little feminine and it’s almost laughable that he claims his pseudo salon is really a barber shop, but none of that matters when you have a guy with the ability to shape one’s frizzy unkempt mane into the shiny sleek look of tempered steel. This is my hair guy.

Awhile back I talked about growing my hair out in a post called, Are Long Hair Styles for Men Attractive. In this post, I spout the attractiveness of men with long hair. Of course, this was simply all an excuse for me to try something different with my own hair.

Well, it’s been over a year and half now since that post and since having a longer hairstyle, as opposed to the “high and tight” marine look that I’ve had most of my life. The long haired period was nice and would say that it even made me feel more confident in the beginning. This is a key concept, the ability to create some type of confidence or self-esteem with a simple physical change.

“So what will it be today, the usual trim up?” asks my hair guy

“No, you know what, I’m thinking about changing it up, maybe going back to something a little shorter, what do you think?” I say

“Yea, sounds good, sometimes you need to make a big change every once in awhile, it’s good for you,” he says, “So what do you have in mind?”

“Make me look like that guy in the Redken poster,” I say pointing to the suave looking model with awesome hair.

Photo Credit: Redken

I’ve read in countless forum threads about guys asking or trying to figure out how to get more confidence. After all, that does seem to be one of the most espoused pieces of dating advice. Women like confident guys, so if you want to attract women you just have to be more confident. Shit, really?! Well, how do you be more confident?

confidence – assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities

self-esteem – a confidence and satisfaction in oneself

There’s a strong correlation between confidence and self-esteem. It seems to me that confidence usually stems from feeling good about one’s self. If you feel good about yourself then you will likely be more confident when participating in social situations.

Though many people would have you believe that confidence is only something that can come from long term personal and emotional development, I’d like to challenge that theory.

In my opinion there is strong evidence that changes in the physical aspects of one’s life can lead to better self-esteem and confidence. What kinds of physical things? Well, a cool new hair cut for starters, but also things like nice new clothes, whitened teeth, or getting a rock hard body. These things, though only surface level improvements are a stepping stone to becoming a confident person.

There is a stereotype, that many women often feel insecure about their bodies, most likely due to the pressures that society puts on women to be physically attractive. There is also a stereotype that women love to go shopping for clothes and pay a lot of money for new hairdos. Could it be that the reasons for this stereotypical behavior stems from the concept of alleviating those insecurities with small boosts of confidence that a new outfit or hairstyle can bring?

Have you ever seen one of those make-over shows? They’re amazing really. They usually take some poor depressed slobs and run them through the gauntlet of hairstylists, fashion experts and any other physical transformation you can think of. Within a short period of time they’ve practically transformed those same slobs into brand new people. Despite the changes being mostly physical, you also notice that there is an emotional change too, with those people now flying high on self confidence.

Now here’s the thing, often times making these physical changes to ourselves are minor and go unnoticed by everyone else. And unless it’s a drastic change, then it’s more likely that most people are too concerned with how they look to notice any changes that you’ve made. However, that is besides the point, it’s not about getting noticed that gives you confidence, it’s about feeling good about yourself that gets you confidence.

Several hours later I walk into the local tavern to have a beer and hang out with some friends. I’m feeling pretty good about myself, struttin’ around like I own the place, when a lady friend of mine walks into the door. She sees me, stops, pauses, walks over and says, “You seem quite chipper today.”

“Thanks,” I say, “it’s the power of the hair… it’s called ‘tempered steel’.”

Apparently, members of the notorious image board known as 4chan are now quitting the act of fapping.  My god… what is the world cumming to!?!  And, it seems to all be revolving around the post I wrote a few months ago called, The Effects of Male Masturbation on Attracting Women.

In the last week or so there have been multiple threads on the 4chan board /r9k/ where some of the guys are experimenting with the “7 Day Abstinence Cycle” which I discuss in the article as an effective way of taking advantage of your body’s peak testosterone levels along with other advantages controlled by the central nervous system in order to help attract women.  Of course, with most discussions on the Internet, it is ripe with debate including the usual fan boys, trolls, and detractors.

After reading through some of the threads, there are a few questions and criticisms from the brobots that I’d like to discuss as a follow up to the original male masturbation post.

The Magic Pill

First, abstaining from ejaculation is NOT a means to an end.  If you happen to go seven full days without masturbating, there will be no buxom blond genie that appears out of thin air and bangs the shit out of you. My friends, this is not a magic pill solution, it is merely one tool in the grand scheme of the overall attraction process.  For example, residing yourself to your mother’s basement for seven days straight isn’t going to do much of anything, regardless of your fapping habits.  You still need to make an effort to go out, meet and interact with women.

The Placebo Effect

There are some that say that this whole seven day cycle nonsense is merely a placebo effect. Basically, indicating that the seven day cycle has no effects on your body and that the only reason that someone would have positive results is because their belief in it tricked them into getting the results they wanted.

Well, I’m not a scientist, so yea, maybe this whole thing is bullshit.  However, I did point out in my original article at least three sources of research published in respectable scientific journals which do indicate there is some merit to the seven day abstinence cycle.  They include:

• A research on the relationship between ejaculation and serum testosterone level in men
• Pharmacological and physiological aspects of sexual exhaustion in male rats
• Subjective Experiences During Dopamine Depletion

Also, for the sake of argument, lets say that it is a placebo effect.  If someone is getting the results they desire, i.e. – attracting more women into their life, then who the hell cares what the cause is?!  If a placebo is going to aid me in shagging that hottie at the end of the bar, then I could care less, the result is still the same.

To a scientist this may sound like sacrilege, but I’m not a scientist, I just want to get laid.

The Seven Day Cycle

Some people are taking the seven day cycle too strictly and/or confusing it.  In the original article I try to explain that seven days of abstinence is needed to reach your peak in testosterone, because on day seven testosterone production spikes 147%.  Now this does not mean that you can or should masturbate on day seven. In fact, if you are following the seven day cycle, you shouldn’t masturbate until AFTER day 7 in order to get the full effects.  It would be even more beneficial, in my opinion, to wait until 10 days, so as to give you three days of testosterone pumping horny male motivation.

So why even masturbate at all?  Well, hopefully if you are getting laid, then you shouldn’t have to.  However, in the event that you aren’t getting any action, it is still helpful to masturbate from time to time as to release tension and to remind your body that you are or want to be sexually active.  For example, some people have reported that extended time periods (more than a month) of no ejaculation had severely lowered their sex drive as to not wanting to masturbate or pursue sexual intercourse at all.

Testosterone and Dopamine

Then there are some people who are focusing too much on the testosterone discussion.  Increased testosterone by itself is not going to attract women.  It’s what testosterone does for your body that will help you to attract women.  And yes, there are other ways to increase testosterone levels other than abstinence, like regular exercise or a healthier diet for example.

Also, keep in mind the third study that I cited regarding dopamine depletion.  In that study, it showed that men who were excessively depleted of their dopamine levels through ejaculation had shown signs of depression, irritability and social anxiety.  So guys that have chronic masturbatory regimes, wanking-off multiple times per day every day, are likely depleting their dopamine which contributes to their depression, anxiety and anti-social behaviors.

Don’t Whack It Until You’ve Tried It

There are some things in life that we either do not have the resources or knowledge to test for ourselves, this is not one of them.  This experiment is something that every male with a little will power can try.  So before you cast doubt, why not just give it a go?  Not jerking off for seven days isn’t going to kill you, so what’s the harm?  Give it a shot, observe what happens, then reassess if it is for you or not.

“Its not that masturbating is bad for you, its just that sex is a biological imperative. Everything you do is ultimately to get fucked.  So if you’re jerking it all the time your body is in ‘I’m getting it all the time, might as well not even try’ mode.”

- Anonymous

Tips for Abstaining from Masturbation

For those willing to try this out, I will tell you that it is difficult the first 2-3 days, but it can be done, especially if you put up road blocks to help prevent the urge.  Here are a few tips that have helped me:

• If you have a porn folder on your computer, get rid of it. You don’t have to delete it permanently, just move it to a flash drive and put it somewhere inconvenient to access.
• If you go to any regular pron sites on the web like RedTube, YouPorn or xHamster then add blocks to those sites on your browser. I know you can simply remove the blocks if you get super horny but it helps to keep you from spontaneously cumbursting
• Exercise.  When you get the urge to fap, do some push-ups or go for a run.  I’ve noticed that regular exercise somehow helps to relieve the horniness
• Only go to bed when you are tired and ready to fall asleep.  Don’t watch TV in bed.   If you are just laying there doing nothing, then one thing is bound to lead to the other…
• When all else fails, turn to Courage Wolf…