The bus comes to a slow stop as I give her an awkward hug and a peck on the cheek. “I’ll call you,” I say, just before she boards the number 42…

… It’s been five days now. I haven’t called, not even a text. It’s kind of immature really, but I think I’m justified somehow, that I can do better.

Not that there’s anything terribly wrong with her, though she is quite plain. However, I do like her scuttling around the bedroom in her pink cotton panties. So there are perks, as shallow as they may be.

The issue arises in conversation, or lack thereof. We have nothing. She’s just an average shy girl. There’s no spunk, no sexy attitude, no light banter. It makes me feel like a scumbag, a hypocrite even, when I reject the same type of person I was just six years ago.

This is the conundrum of self improvement – options.

I‘m chatting up a cute young girl at the bar. Things are progressing nicely. I’m in the middle of arranging a date when I’m interrupted by a rather drunken belligerent acquaintance.

“Hey Savage, man, don’t fucking talk to this girl! She’s a fucking whore!”

Holy shit. Talk about an awkward moment; not to mention that this has to be one of the worst cock blocks in the history of man.

The mood in our little corner of the bar goes from light and fluffy to thunderdome levels in a matter of seconds. I slowly back away.

“Hey, if you have a problem with me, you say it to my face!” she shouts to my intoxicated cock blocker.

Naturally, this sets off a heated argument between the two. There’s no chance of me getting any action tonight. The mood has been killed… with a vengeance.

I stand back with the rest of the on-lookers and try to piece together the reasons for the argument.

Apparently, this girl had a one night stand with the guy’s best friend. Because the guy’s best friend is such a “nice guy” he felt that he didn’t deserve to get pumped and dumped by this girl. Thus, his reason for calling her a whore in the middle of a crowded bar.

resentment – a feeling of anger or displeasure stemming from belief that others have engaged in wrongdoing or mistreatment

Of course, this guy was totally out of line for a number of reasons. First, he blocked my cock, not cool dude. Second, his hatred toward this woman, for reasons that threaten his belief system, is completely unfounded.

What good does it do a man to harbor resentment toward a woman in this manner?

Back when I was an average frustrated chump, desperately trying to find a girl that would give me the time of day, I held a similar resentment toward women. Not so much to call them whores, but there was definitely some troubling thoughts stirring in my head.

How could these women keep hooking up with these scumbag frat guys? How do they not see what a great guy I am? etc. These are the types of questions that would run through my head. They are also the types of questions that were holding me back.

The problem with resenting women is that it doesn’t get you anywhere. All the bitching and moaning just causes you to become bitter and jaded. Your negativity will show and it will repulse those women you are trying to attract. Complaining about the complexity of a woman’s behavior and thought process is futile at best.

So my question to you readers, what should I have done in this situation? How do you deal with this kind of guy?

I turn my head slightly to the right and catch the gaze of young blond college student staring back at me. Luckily my strategic positioning of placing my body next to her at the bar allowed for an easy opening.

“Hello” I say in a cheerful voice

She responds in kind with a shy “hello”

“Looks like you gals are celebrating, those shots seem to be going down pretty smooth?”

“It’s our birthdays!” they shout in unison

“Oh really, both of you? well then, I suppose a happy birthday is in order”

“Hey, lets play a little game, you guys like fun games, right?” I ask

“Yea ok!”

I explain to both girls the Attraction Triangle Game and that out of the three signs of attraction they could choose in a mate: Intelligence, Good Looks, Emotional stability; which two would they pick.

Naturally, they both pick Intelligence and Emotional Stability, proudly exclaiming that in the long run, all one really needs is love, and that looks don’t really matter much. Yeah, right:) Of course, I was prepared for this response.

“Awww, that’s too bad, I guess we could never be together then.” I say

“What!? Why?!”

“Well you see, I’m a pretty smart guy and I have the boyish good looks down, so I don’t really match your two pieces of criteria.”

“Wait, so are you saying you’re not emotionally stable?” she asks

“Here’s the thing, I have a confession to make… sometimes, when I’m home by myself, I’ll watch chick flicks and then cry myself to sleep…” I say in an overly serious tone.

The girls aren’t sure whether they should laugh or sympathize. I’ve just successfully thrown in some vulnerability game as part of my new routine. They’re hooked and I use this as jumping off point to create multiple conversation threads on the topic of relationships.

The conversation goes well and am able to transition with my original target into some light banter and comfort building. I begin the kino escalation with some hand caressing, which eventually leads to an eskimo kiss.

I’m able to get the digits, as the friend is pestering her to go home.

Overall, I’m quite pleased with the new routine. I think sometimes we get a bad rap from the public for using routines, but lets face it, they can be fun and interesting ways to get a good conversation going.

Is it manipulative? I don’t think so. I thought it was fun. The girls certainly found it worth their time and attention.

“I have a proposition for you” she says

The bartender is leaning over the bar, staring at me, waiting for a response.

She is a cute petite hipster girl with short black hair, a nose piercing and a witty sense of humor.  Oh, and she’s a lesbian too.  This is Bartender Jaimie.

“Alright, what do you have in mind”

“I have two double shot glasses behind the bar, one with your name on it, and you can have anything you want in it, what do you think?” she asks

“Hmm, you drive a hard bargain, but ok,” I say, “how ’bout a black sambuca… chilled?”

“Uggghhhh gag… I’d rather suck a hundred cocks than drink that shit” she says in disgust

“Ha, well personally, I think I’ll stick with the shot”

As Bartender Jaimie begins whipping up some drinks, I turn my head to the left and notice an attractive slender red head.  She has tattoos running down her arms, a pale white face and a devious smile.  She looks like she could pose for the suicide girls.  In fact, there are a number of hipster girls in the pub tonight, many of them very bangable.

This happens every Monday night when Bartender Jaimie is working.  All the hot lesbian hipster girls come out to play.  Yet here I am, a straight pick-up artist dressed in what I like to call “lumberjack sexual” and totally out of my league.  Shit, I’m not even playing the same game.  It’s complete torture!

Part of me wants to believe that deep down inside, at least some of these girls are bisexual.  I’ve already had some success in attracting straight hipster girls, so I don’t see why I couldn’t step things up a notch and try to seduce some lesbians.  I mean really, is that too much to ask?

“Here’s your fucking swill water” Jaimie says as she slides the shot over

We toast.  I suck down my double Sambuca.  She sucks down a double Jameson.  It’s hardcore.

“So, we should hit up the strippers sometime… what’d ya think?” she says in a casual tone

Damn, I love hipster girls.