OkStupid, Bear Dicks, and a Girl’s Inflated Ego

by Matt Savage

I was browsing the OkCupid subreddit when I came across I great thread involving an email exchange between two people on the dating site. It’s quite an interesting and comical exchange which started out perfectly fine but due to one person’s improper use of grammar, the conversation quickly spiraled out of control into a flaming pile of insults and bear dicks. Take a look below to see what I mean.

OkCupid Girl bad grammar message

Now the conversation starts off with the guy messaging what I presume is an innocent question regarding something in the girl’s profile. Then, in the girl’s response she gives the following:

Cause they’re smarter then the average bear dick. How do you feel about that?

Now if you just read that the same way I did, you would probably be wondering why this girl is comparing the intelligence of two year olds to an average bear dick, right? I mean, it really is a bewildering statement at first read, don’t you think? Apparently, the guy in the conversation was understandably confused as well.

What’s hilarious is that the guy had a somewhat witty remark to this bizarre statement and then, unbelievably, she flips out and calls him the dumb one! What this girl, who seems to be a teacher of some sort, probably intended her statement to be interpreted as follows:

Because they’re smarter than the average bear, dick! How do you feel about that?

Now I’ve gone ahead and bolded the corrections, one of which the guy in the conversation has already pointed out. However, what’s interesting is that the one missing comma between “bear” and “dick” would have caused so much commotion. After all, no one is perfect and when you type and message people a lot on the Internet, one is bound to have a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, right? So then why is the girl flipping out over the guy’s misinterpretation of her grammar mistakes?!

Lets continue on with the shit show:

OkCupid girl messages

Naturally, when the dude had pointed out her obvious mistake and why he was confused, she went on a self-inflating ego defensive. This seems to be a common tactic on online dating sites when someone (not just women) feel the need to attempt to deflate another’s ego while inflating his or her own in order to somehow justify their failed attempts at dating. It’s all very amusing and a little sad to see people resort to this when it could all be easily avoided by playing things in a level headed manner like our boy above.

What do you guys and gals think about this OkCupid message exchange? Is the girl being a bitch? Is the guy being a grammar Nazi? Let us know your thoughts on the matter in the comments.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Mack Tight April 24, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I think they both have low self-esteem and are wrong. Normal people would not have continued responding in order to prove some imaginary point with someone they didn’t even know.

The chick is obviously nuts, damaged or fragile. The guy is kind of a chump for apologizing, kissing her ass and trying to rationalize with a total nut even after she blatantly insulted him.

Mack Tight April 24, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I know it’s hard, but don’t correct people on petty stuff like grammar. You come off as a douche.

But also, don’t get all defensive when someone makes light of your grammar error.

All in all, the chick was way too defensive and the guy was too accommodating and logical.

CA April 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I understood what she meant without the comma. I think they are both crazy.

jake April 25, 2012 at 4:06 am

The proper response to her message ending “THANKS fly guy” would have been “Fair enough, good luck with the whole low self-esteem thing”

Georgia Stone April 25, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Have you heard the joke about the panda bear and the bartender? The punch line, “Eats, shoots and leaves” is all about a misplaced comma. They can create havoc.

T. AKA Ricky Raw April 27, 2012 at 11:56 am

I know it’s hard, but don’t correct people on petty stuff like grammar. You come off as a douche.

I agree, but if someone calls you a dick for no reason out of the blue, you have a total right to act like a douche in return, which is what happened here.

End Sexual Supremacy May 1, 2012 at 5:57 am

Almost all “profiles” at these “dating sites” are likely a bunch of sick, perverted trolls and all probably male. If you find yourself hooked by any of these “dating sites”(like I was for about 3 weeks straight until last week), you should first immediately cancel your subscription(s)(try to even get refunded if you can), have your profile(s) deleted, seek out porn-addiction or sex addiction(whatever applies to you) forums on Google, admit your addiction, delete/destroy your porn library and ANYTHING that reminds you of porn, and try to find other interests in life. This is what I’m doing. You may have to stop watching tv since most tv is sexualized garbage. The “sex culture” should be seen for what it is, catering to the uneducated slum elements of society….it’s a “blue-collar elitism”, basically. Read, learn and better yourself against the barbarian sexual cult.

J May 2, 2012 at 5:34 am

Wow. Typical “My shit doesn’t stink” ass female. All of her messages were insulting. He’s trying to explain himself and be nice, while she’s busy trying to stay hostile. The “I’m too pretty” remark just confirmed her arrogance.

Something She Dated (@SSDated) May 7, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Yesterday on Plenty of Fish I got a message that read:

Fuck you look delicious

If it wasn’t for the lack of a comma, I would’ve interpreted this as an insulting command.

Fuck you, look delicious!

I took it in stride. But that’s just me. This chick was a psycho. Case closed.

Sorden Sorcerer May 14, 2012 at 6:21 am

Psycho, self-obsessed, neurotic and insecure bitch. The guy was just being cool and handled it like a man. Nothing wrong with being nice and humble.

Meg July 5, 2012 at 2:49 am

LOL! This whole conversation was hilarious! I think the guy played it well. She obviously has some issues. She still couldn’t admit her mistake after he pointed it out, but instead goes into some dumb rant about him calling her a liar. I would have put down my weapons and laughed at my error.

Dave July 15, 2012 at 1:48 am

Making fun of insecure people makes me feel better about myself.

Mungrysoldier August 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Wow, Inflated ego indeed. The problem with Social media sites like Okcupid is that people forget there is another human being on the other side and let loose on behaviour that wouldn’t be normal in person because…well, they could get smashed in the face. The guy should have apologized early and identified the misunderstanding but played cool and logical. The girl on the other hand, escalated for no reason at all, she is as most of everyone here has said, has an inflated ego

guy January 27, 2013 at 1:24 pm

The whole thing arose from him being humorous and trying to include/engage her in the humor but she was unable to recognize that was what he was doing. Tragically many within our society have reached a state of mind where everything is serious and almost everything is an attack of some sort or another…. That and the simple fact that the dumming down of our population leads to alot of people that just dont get the joke… It seems to me that he was then trying to buffer her outrage with what might be thought of as”easier access” humor which she still either didnt get or chose not too at which point he begins his apologies(the right thing to do in persuit of positive outcome for both)perhaps this entire exchange can be viewed as an example of using humor as a filter of compatibility and relative intelligence. And yes i realize the whole conflict escalated by her not using proper punctuation(specifically commas) and that through my entire response there has appeared not a single comma(properly used or not!)but not for mere effect was this done but rather tis due to my not finding commas on my kindle(of course as i typed that i saw where it is located, finally! I’m so glad i wrote this!)

The Male Insider February 13, 2013 at 11:19 am

That was a pretty hilarious amusing read. The girl was obviously way too defensive (and insecure), and anyone comes off as an idiot correcting someone’s grammar online – there’s no point.

The guy was in the right, perfectly rational. Interesting read nonetheless :)

Peeksi.com February 19, 2013 at 1:15 pm

It’s all too easy to hide behind words, when we do not have to meet the person face-to-face. A good rule of thumb when interacting online: react to others’ written words as if they are standing right in front of you, looking into your eyes, as you formulate and then deliver your response. Exchanges like these would become less frequent if people had to own in the physical world what they were writing online.

Great blog!

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: