The Altoids Tin Seduction Survival Kit

by Matt Savage

Inspired by a recent Art of Manliness post on various Altoids tin badassery, I decided to make my own version of the Altoids tin survival kit, except geared for those of us who dabble in the pursuit of carnal knowledge.

When I started out this project, the first thing that came to mind was to simply use the tin as a condom case, which by itself works great. It has the ability to snuggly fit up to eight condoms and is a good protective way store your prophylactics, rather than sticking them in a wallet like a sexual noob.

But then I got to thinking, why just use it as a condom case, why not add in other items that may become useful for scuttling any unforeseen bodily malfunctions while out in the field? For instance, lets say you’re out on the prowl, talking to a fly young college chick, when you let out a nasty ass fart; one so potent that it causes your prospect’s face to melt right off. We’ve all had those moments where our own bodies manage to cock block our seductive advances. Thus, I’ve included an assortment of preventative measures as seen and listed below.

Seduction Survival Kit Contents:

  • One empty Altoids tin – Perhaps even save some of the Altoids themselves to use as breath mints…
  • Condoms – I prefer Durex myself, but it’s obviously your choice.
  • Listerine Breath Strips – Vital for quickly suppressing fowl odors emitting from your primary face hole
  • Cough Drops – For slaying that frog in your throat
  • Wisp Mini-Brushes – Have a small forest stuck in your grill? Head to the loo and use one of these as an ad-hoc tooth brush and/or tooth pic.
  • Gas-X Thin Strips – Regretting those extra beans on your Mexican dinner date? Just pop a few of these bad boys and pucker up those ass cheeks.
  • Chewable Pepto-Bismol Tablets – Really regretting that Mexican dinner? Chow down on these chewable versions of the pink stuff and literally save yourself from a shit storm.

There you have it folks, the Altoids Seduction Survival Kit. Of course, there are likely a few things that could be added but have not come to my attention, so if you can think of something that’d be useful and also fits into an Altoids tin, be sure to let me know in the comments below.

{ 10 comments }

SDaedalus February 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm

you forgot the pack of skittles.

Mack Tight February 10, 2011 at 5:03 pm

I’ve been carrying two condoms in an Altoids Smalls case for the past 9 years. I stole the idea from a friend who stored his drugs & paraphernalia in a Sucrets case. I’ve only had one person accidentally open it wanting an Altoid! :-)

I recently bought an actual condom carrying case but still prefer the Altoids Smalls case because it’s smaller and more discreet.

I think all the other stuff you’re putting in yours is just overkill and the full size Altoids case is too bulky with all the other crap I have in my pockets… but that’s just my opinion :-)

Matt Savage February 15, 2011 at 12:08 pm

@SDaedalus,

Good call on the skittles, could have used some last night as a Valentines gift, not the full size ones though, just the mini fun packs.

@Mack Tight,

I didn’t think about using the small Altoids tin, but yeah, that’d be perfect as a simple small unobtrusive condom case.

Roy | Cruisesurfingz May 19, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Hah! Excellent idea :)

Imran September 9, 2011 at 12:15 pm

You should also add a mini mirror at the bottom of the altoid case
that will serve as the tin can base so that when you open the lid you can quickly glance at your face will picking out a goodie, like a halls or a condom, kill two birds with one stone and also stop that stray rogue nose booger from cock blocking your swagger.

Also toss in a mini eye drops bottle to make the eyes white to prevent that cute girl from thinking you are stoner, overworked insurance agent, or alcoholic when your eyes are red.

Peace out

L September 29, 2011 at 8:57 pm

This is a wonderful idea :) thank you!

Georgia Stone January 24, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Hi Matt: I have something for you to add to your seduction kit. This goes in your brain, not in a tin. Good luck with it. http://www.vixendivorcee.com/2012/01/24/the-poetry-of-seduction/#more-829

Nicole July 6, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Gas-X in the sex-kit masked as an Mint tin….this gives me a whole new insight to the trials and tribulations of a dude

Branden January 14, 2013 at 2:23 pm

This is an ingenious idea. Especially the tooth brushes for those nights you end up waking up in a girls bed and have to get rid of that morning breath.

Happened to me countless times. Now my pockets don’t have to be bulging anymroe

Jim February 20, 2013 at 2:44 pm

Hey man great list, you should deffo include a mirror, and a bar of chocolate or anouther form of energy ;)

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