Inspired by a recent Art of Manliness post on various Altoids tin badassery, I decided to make my own version of the Altoids tin survival kit, except geared for those of us who dabble in the pursuit of carnal knowledge.
When I started out this project, the first thing that came to mind was to simply use the tin as a condom case, which by itself works great. It has the ability to snuggly fit up to eight condoms and is a good protective way store your prophylactics, rather than sticking them in a wallet like a sexual noob.
But then I got to thinking, why just use it as a condom case, why not add in other items that may become useful for scuttling any unforeseen bodily malfunctions while out in the field? For instance, lets say you’re out on the prowl, talking to a fly young college chick, when you let out a nasty ass fart; one so potent that it causes your prospect’s face to melt right off. We’ve all had those moments where our own bodies manage to cock block our seductive advances. Thus, I’ve included an assortment of preventative measures as seen and listed below.
Seduction Survival Kit Contents:
- One empty Altoids tin – Perhaps even save some of the Altoids themselves to use as breath mints…
- Condoms – I prefer Durex myself, but it’s obviously your choice.
- Listerine Breath Strips – Vital for quickly suppressing fowl odors emitting from your primary face hole
- Cough Drops – For slaying that frog in your throat
- Wisp Mini-Brushes – Have a small forest stuck in your grill? Head to the loo and use one of these as an ad-hoc tooth brush and/or tooth pic.
- Gas-X Thin Strips – Regretting those extra beans on your Mexican dinner date? Just pop a few of these bad boys and pucker up those ass cheeks.
- Chewable Pepto-Bismol Tablets – Really regretting that Mexican dinner? Chow down on these chewable versions of the pink stuff and literally save yourself from a shit storm.
There you have it folks, the Altoids Seduction Survival Kit. Of course, there are likely a few things that could be added but have not come to my attention, so if you can think of something that’d be useful and also fits into an Altoids tin, be sure to let me know in the comments below.