The Shy Girl’s Lament

by Matt Savage


The bus comes to a slow stop as I give her an awkward hug and a peck on the cheek. “I’ll call you,” I say, just before she boards the number 42…

… It’s been five days now. I haven’t called, not even a text. It’s kind of immature really, but I think I’m justified somehow, that I can do better.

Not that there’s anything terribly wrong with her, though she is quite plain. However, I do like her scuttling around the bedroom in her pink cotton panties. So there are perks, as shallow as they may be.

The issue arises in conversation, or lack thereof. We have nothing. She’s just an average shy girl. There’s no spunk, no sexy attitude, no light banter. It makes me feel like a scumbag, a hypocrite even, when I reject the same type of person I was just six years ago.

This is the conundrum of self improvement – options.

{ 11 comments }

Poetry of Flesh January 6, 2011 at 8:07 pm

I used to be the shy girl. Sometimes I still am, depending on my location and level of comfort.

However, passive rejections do not encourage the shyness to go away. A girl with potential can grow if showered with the right type of affection.

Not that it’s your responsibility. Not at all.

It’s just a thought.

Devon Brown January 6, 2011 at 8:50 pm

It isn’t your responsibility to help the shy girl with her self-esteem, but there is really no reason to just ignore her. If you don’t want to see her any longer, just let her know. The honesty is what will give closure to the girl and keep you from feeling immature and a scumbag.

Matt Savage January 11, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Poetry,
That is something I have considered, that perhaps she can grow to be more confident and sexual, at least in the bedroom anyways, but at the moment I’m not feeling any type of spark, so I guess I’m just not willing to take that gamble right now.

Devon,
To be fair, I have actually communicated with her since writing this post, just so I’m not a complete dick about it, but I’m also trying to be careful that she doesn’t assume I want to continue dating her or am interested in a relationship, which I’m not.

Jennifer January 12, 2011 at 8:45 pm

At least you know yourself well enough to figure out what you don’t want and have the confidence enough not to settle.

TAllagash January 18, 2011 at 2:54 am

meet these girls all the time b/c i looooove shy girls. that naivete is a turn-on. but i talk to them, they force me to make the conversation passable…..ugh. then i predictably lose interest or some party girl comes up in my face while she’ sin the bathroom. ah, predictability.

Goodkat January 18, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Let’s not forget that when we’re on another of our long, self-conscious ponderings about when our shy girl will become more like us, we’ve all got our noses buried in the stories of other people we hardly know.

Mononoke March 19, 2011 at 12:33 am

Do you have a girlfriend?
To me, from reading some of your other posts, it sound like you don’t have any intentions to go steady with any one. So in that case, it wouldn’t matter if she was shy or interesting, either way she was just a one nighter. I don’t know if your just that hard to please or if it’s you. Have you ever thought that you may be the problem and not the girls you screw?
Sorry for judging you, I know I don’t know you but I read alot of your stuff.

Mononoke March 19, 2011 at 12:34 am

Sorry that last one was @ MATT

Shy_and_Modest July 9, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Just because you are shy does not mean you have no self-esteem. I am a shy person, but the right guy can bring me out of my shell. I have tons of self confidence, I just need a man who is willing to take the time with me and realize that I may not be like everyone he has dated or been with.

Lorenzo Valdez. January 26, 2012 at 6:36 am

I have a mate who’s in this siutation, and she’s a sucker for him. I think it comes down to percieving whether you’re compatible or not, and then defining the relationship from there. After that, I don’t see the issue, you know what it is already.

Meg February 5, 2012 at 2:50 am

People mold to one another’s personalities. Its’ all about being able to find someone who complements (not compliment) you. If you at once were a shy person then there is part of you that is probably still that way… after all you can grow but never go through a complete personality change. I am a shy woman (without any self esteem issues) and have found the types of personalities that bring out the best in me. I am often times called boring, but on the flip side I am often times called interesting.
**Another point I would like to make is being shy / outgoing is not a black and white trait. Everyone have varying degrees of shyness so I think it is an over generalization to place people in either/or category.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: