Cleaning Your Refrigerator Will Get You Laid

by Matt Savage

I reach into the back of my refrigerator and grab a small mysterious Tupperware container, no doubt it is leftovers from several Thanksgivings ago. I slowly crack open the lid to see a whole civilization of mold, spores and fungus. Ewww, that’s going straight into the garbage with the rest of the failed science experiments.

After a few hours of clearing old food items and scrubbing down the interior I finally have a sparkling refrigerator worthy of pimping like the video above. It looks practically new and I can’t help but stand in front of it, door fully open, wasting energy and basking in the soft light reflecting off the Corona bottles.

While many seduction gurus will have you believe that gaining confidence takes many years of trials and tribulations of self improvement, I believe that there are some short-cuts one can take to quickly hack your confidence to a higher state. One of those is cleaning your refrigerator.

Not only do I think cleaning your refrigerator will boost your confidence, but cleaning anything in your babe lair: bedroom, kitchen, living room and particularly the bathroom will work; though tidying up the whole place is optimal. All of this, including things like getting a new haircut or working on your style are all things that will help you feel good about yourself because now you are assured that things look good and are in order. This, after all, is the definition of confidence: assurance and freedom from doubt.

Of course, having a clean bachelor pad also helps to make any girl that comes over feel more comfortable in knowing that her hand won’t dissolve from some prehistoric acidic soy sauce while reaching into your refrigerator.

{ 9 comments }

Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life October 21, 2010 at 4:56 pm

@ the video – But what if the women want to eat something lol…

All in all though, a great point. Not much says “I’m a functioning adult” like a properly stocked fridge.

Jennifer October 22, 2010 at 9:52 am

Hmm. Interesting. I’ve never thought about what I’d do if I came across a bachelor who had a clean refrigerator. Just about every man I’ve dated has had a refrigerator I’d never open in fear of something jumping out and eating me. Funny thing is, mine is mostly empty except for 6 types of hot sauce, beer, wine and water. I don’t cook much and if I do, it’s something that’s made that day and the leftovers are frozen. I used to cook and leave the leftovers in there… but then I got tired of cleaning it out and telling everyone “don’t eat anything in there unless there’s a date on it or you smell it first” lol.

I find it hilarious when a bachelor checks out my fridge now and exclaims “there’s nothing in here except beeer!” I know how to cook and I’m good at it. I’ll do it for you, if you ask me to… but I don’t cook for myself much. I don’t care enough to bother, really.

Aunt Haley October 23, 2010 at 11:30 pm

Good housekeeping skills are always a plus. You don’t have to live in a palace, but you should at least look like you take some pride in your surroundings.

Jennifer October 26, 2010 at 1:23 pm

I went to a guy’s house last night and he proudly showed me his refrigerator (as I was deciding on what I wanted to drink). I have to say, I was impressed. It was not only super clean, but stocked with a variety of good things to drink (alcoholic and non-alcoholic), as well as home cooked meals and ingredients for his future meals. I think that’s one of the first times I’ve seen a clean refrigerator at a bachelor pad with more in it than beer and hot sauce. Made me think of this post…

bachelor December 9, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Can’t tell you how true this is.

Soon as I thoroughly clean my apartment I feel so much better going out. I’m far more willing and confident with pursuing somebody with the possibility that it would lead home. I hate, “sorry my place is a mess,” and I can tell women feel way more comfortable walking into a well kept place.

Great post.

Sarah December 14, 2010 at 5:31 pm

The fridge, like the bathroom is always one of the places I look to see if someone’s has clean habits. A filthy fridge is not a deal breaker for me but tells me to thing carefully about the relationship.

Arlene January 10, 2011 at 4:54 am

Where did you find that video? I laughed the whole way through, can’t imagine what a date with a guy like that would look like LOL,
I have yet to meet a single guy who gets a rush from a chrome trash can….

Jensen Millard January 11, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Get money, get paid.

This guy is my hero.

The F Word March 23, 2011 at 10:16 pm

I laughed so hard that hurt. The blue grenade was just more than I could handle. Your personal addition reminds me of a slam poetry piece by Sonya Renee entitled “Slices.” You should check that out.

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