Being on the Internet, we often finds ourselves consumed in red hot debates over topics which make a lot of assumptions. When non-agreed upon assumptions are made by multiple parties, then it’s no surprise that completely different one-sided conversations are taking place. A good example of this is when males and females discuss various view points on dating and relationships. Of course, one of my favorite one-sided debates is when discussing the difficulties of nice guys.
When a girl says she likes nerdy nice guys, what she really means is a guy with some minor nerd like characteristics yet has his shit together. For example, perhaps he plays a lot video games or tinkers with computers, but he’s also a decent looking guy who cleans up well. He could also be a really good provider and a down to earth family man, just the right type of guy that women will go for after slutting themselves out in their early twenties. There’s a reason that nice guys finish last, it’s because they’re the safe bet when the biological time bomb starts ticking, so long as he doesn’t dress like Tron.
Now here’s the thing, most guys will be thinking that they just have to clean themselves up and go for the good looking but slightly nerdy style and I’ll get the chicks, right? The problem is that this look is still coming from a place of the boring status quo and unless you take the ‘Geek Chic’ look to an extreme then you’re still just an average Joe.
I’ve been looking into a lot of Brad P’s stuff lately and recently bought his Fashion Bible which is quite eye opening so far. However, one of his big concepts that he talks about is “sexy stereotyping.”
Sexy Stereotyping assumes that when women first meet a man, there is an automatic and unconscious judgment taking place which stereotype that man within seconds. These judgments are based on external appearances. It’s not to say that a guy can’t attract women with his personality but it makes the process so much easier when your external appearance is automatically communicating that you are a high value man.
It’s for the above reasons that I’ll be doing a bit of a self makeover for the summer. Not that my style right now isn’t good; it’s light years better than my college days. Can you believe that I used to go out to the bars wearing used running sneakers, loose fitting baggy jeans and a white Fruit of the Loom T-Shirt? I know, it’s no wonder why I never got laid in college, sheesh!
Anyhow, my next series of posts will document my current fashion makeover using Brad P’s sexy stereotyping concepts and will also do a more formal review of his Fashion Bible for those interested.
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I love this post. It’s kind of like when women say that they love dominant men and guys take it as men who grope women, say extremely vulgar things, and treat women like crap.
When a girl says she likes nerdy nice guys, what she really means is a guy with some minor nerd like characteristics yet has his shit together.
BINGO!!
I do like nerdy guys but I take ‘nerdy’ to mean ‘very intelligent’. It could be that the guy specializes in one area–such as being a real techie–or maybe he just knows a little about alot and seems to be able to have a decent conversation on just about any topic.
The pictures are priceless. I’m looking forward to your review of the Fashion Bible. I feel like I have my act together in that department, though I have started slacking a bit.
As far as the nerdiness goes, I got it, but I don’t look even 1/10 as nerdy as I am so it probably does nothing for me w.r.t. chicks.
I think dressing up is important. We talk about stereotyping and how first impressions make a difference. When I was writing my ebook I was thinking what’s the best way to really get people to understand that looks do matter in attraction and social environments.
And it’s simple, dress like a homeless person for a day and see how much change you can get for a phone. And then dress in a business suit and see what happens.
But with any look, moderation is key.
Being a nerdy guy, I find that when girls say they like nerdy guys what they mean is that they like guys who are 1% nerd. Or, to put it another way, guys who are nerdy when she is not around. I say one thing, even just what my major is, and the faces of these girls glazes over and they lose interest unless the conversation switches rapidly.
You are so right about that, some guys think being a nerd is comic books and star wars, while a girl thinks eccentric and successful!
Good article Matt. My style is more of a indie/emo/rock style because that’s the way the bands that I enjoy listening to dress (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XAnt2RUlrrw/SwMOCypYdyI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/s3Fb2_D0sOM/s1600/youngguns.jpg) and it matches my personality. I think it’s important to dress to match your personality, but by that I mean dressing to match the best part of it. I honestly don’t think I could pull off dressing like a hip-hop or a dance music guy because it doesn’t reflect my personality so I think it would come off to others as seeming a bit fake.
That is exactly it. But let’s face it, there are not a whole lot of Steve Erkel type nerds out there. Most guys are a bit awkward but they are not bad looking and are a good fixer upper candidate (BTW, don’t expect a lot of girls to fix you up -> http://bit.ly/d0BEAb)
Basically, it’s no different than a guy saying “I want a nice girl” but what he really means is a hot girl who is super sweet and smart.
Well written Matt
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