7 Observations on Dating for Short Guys

by Matt Savage

I wish I were big zoltar
For many men height can be an issue and being a short guy tends to cause those men to have a lot of hang-ups in life. You see, the self-esteem issues of being short for a male is like being overweight for a female. The only difference is that while weight can be lost, our height is permanent.

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this on the blog before but I’m 5 foot 4 inches, so I think I’m qualified to talk about this. And though I don’t have any secrets of short guy seduction or magical words of wisdom, I would like to posit some observations I’ve made as it pertains to this issue.

1. Don’t Take Your Height for Granted, It Could Be Worse

It used to piss me off when guys who were 5’8 or even 5’6 would complain on public forums about how tough they had it. Of course, being a shorter guy, I’d resent them and say, “Dude, if only I were that tall I’d be cleaning up.” Then some other guy who was even shorter would chime in and bitch me out for complaining.

As much as you complain about how you have it tough, just remember that there is always someone shorter than you who wishes he were in your position. Unless you’re Verne Troyer you shouldn’t complain. By the way, Verne Troyer gets laid like a rock star.

2.  Take Advantage of Accessories

I have a pair of platform shoes. It took me a long time to find a pair that was stylish and could easily integrate into my wardrobe but it was well worth it. Not only do they look good and get a lot of compliments, but they boost my height by about two and a half inches. Two and a half inches may not seem like much but it does wonders for your confidence, which is what really matters.

Women wear high heals to improve their looks, why can’t we?

3. Forget About the Minor Bullshit and Open Your Eyes

George Costanza Neil Short Guy
I was in a local bar the other night when my dream girl walked in. I’ve seen her around town before and have even talked to her on a few occasions. She’s incredibly attractive and a really cool person, the whole package. I’m not sure why I never pursued her, perhaps I still have some underlying confidence issues.

Her boyfriend came into the bar that night and what I saw was a shock to my system. The boyfriend was the spitting image of myself, we could have been twins! Same height, looks, body type; the only difference between us was that he was overflowing with confidence and machismo. Shit, that could have easily been me with this amazing girl.

Sometimes we don’t realize what’s possible until we see it happen. Sometimes we are Neil…

GEORGE: Some guy. Some guy? Neil! I have got to find out how he could get a girl like Danielle.
JERRY: George, you’ve got Danielle. Forget about Neil. You’ve out-Neiled him.
GEORGE: So, I’m Neil? How did I do that?
JERRY: I don’t know, but you better keep it up.
GEORGE: I’m gonna go meet Danielle. There’s a new Neil in

4. Flying Under The Radar

On another night, I had been hitting on a cute girl when a shorter friend of mine (5’2″) swooped in and stole her out from under my nose. He took her home that night before I had even realized what happened. Ironically, I had swooped in and stole her away from a six foot tall giant earlier in the night.

The shorter the guy, the easier it is to fly under the radar.

5. Short and Athletic Trumps Tall, Fat and Frumpy

Another time, I observed a short but athletic guy come into the bar with his girlfriend. He couldn’t have been more than 5’3, yet he was built like a bulldog. She towered over him by about six inches and could have easily been a model for the Suicide Girls.

Later, I asked him how he got such an attractive girlfriend and his response:

“You gotta hit the gym man; take care of your body and the girls will take care of you.”

6. The Average Woman is Shorter Than the Average Man

It’s true that women tend to be attracted to taller men. Here’s the thing, taller doesn’t always mean six feet, it’s more of a relative term compared to the woman.

It’s also true that women on average are shorter than men on average. This means that it’s highly likely there is a whole population of cute shorter women waiting for you.

As short as you are, you will always be taller relative to your shorter female counterparts.

7. Life Is Not Fair, Deal With It

Just because you get dealt a bad hand in the gene pool doesn’t mean you can fold your cards and wait for the next hand. There is no next hand. You can only work with the cards you’ve been dealt. Yes, you’ll have to work harder, but so what, what else could you possibly do?

So there you go, just a few thoughts on dating for short guys. I’d love to get some opinions on this topic from both male and female readers, particularly:

If there are any short men out there who have had a lot of success in the dating game, please share your stories.

If there are any tall women who date or are in a relationship with a short man, please let us know what attracted you to him.


Orin Incandenza May 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Good post.

I’ve had at least two girls who are like five two express their preference for only dating men five ten or taller. Wow. So they’ll only date guys EIGHT inches taller than men or more? That’s absurd.

Anyway, I’ve figured out via trial and error that seven or eight inches is actually what a lot of girls look for height-differential-wise. You’re tall enough she can rest ther head on your shoulder and you can throw her around during sex, but the height difference doesn’t look weird.

So since I’m five seven, I usually aim at girls around five feet or so. I’ve had great success with this demographic, enough percentile-wise to make me think that height is a HUGE factor for girls, at least early on, and that you almost need to be a certain amount taller than her. I’m not saying it’s the alpha and omega, but all the girls who’ve been very physically attracted to me have been at least six or seven inches shorter. I don’t believe this is a coincidence.

However, I’m not complaining at all, because I enjoy very short girls as well. They have tiny, narrower vaginas on average and you can throw her around in sex. It works itself out.

Genius May 19, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Something else to remember: different countries’ populations have different average heights. When I lived in America, I wouldn’t say I was short, but I was definitely on the short side of average. After I moved to Israel, I noticed that my height here is just average. There, it was an uphill battle to attract girls of even average height. Here, my height only becomes an issue with tall girls.

If you’re short and an American, it doesn’t mean you have to be that way forever.

Matt Savage May 19, 2010 at 3:49 pm

The eight inch differential sounds about right but that’s if you didn’t factor in other qualities. For instance, I think men with tight game and confidence can narrow that difference considerably. Most of the girls I’ve dated/hooked up with have mostly been within a couple of inches either way.

Good point about different height averages in different countries. I actually got the numbers for my chart above from the following wikipedia page on average height around the world.

Clearly the best countries to be a short male is in the Asian or South American countries.

Mickey May 19, 2010 at 4:53 pm

At 5’10″, I really can’t blame any of my game deficiencies on my height, but I can tell you that even at my height the grass is always greener. I know girls who follow the Rule of 6: they only date men who have a 6-pack, make 6 figures, and are over 6 feet tall. Many girls I’ve talked to, when asked what they look for in a guy, physically, say they want a tall guy first and foremost. If you go on match.com, you’ll see a lot of girls put up a height minimum at 5’9 or 5’10. Some of the taller and hotter girls require 6′. I think with online dating though, height become more important because A) you don’t have much info to go off of and B) everybody lies about their height online.

More attractive girls tend to be pickier about height, but then again, they’re pickier about everything (they can afford to be). But in addition to having more options, I have a theory as to why hotter girls may have more of a NEED for a taller guy. Its because they get more attention from men – both positive AND negative. So hotter girls have more of a need to feel protected than an uglier girl and this might be part of the reason why they prioritize height. Just a thought.

Another thing to remember is that a lot of height is psychological. Fitness, proportions and clothes can really alter how tall or short you appear. And attitude. It blew my mind when I found out Jim Carrey is is 6’2 because his persona is that of a dweeby nebbish. Likewise, I was surprised to hear that Brad Pitt is only average height – I think it’s because of his lean frame and leading man persona that I assumed him to be taller (he’s also a notorious lift-wearer).

Robin May 19, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Ya know, I used to be one of those girls hung up on height (I blame bad prom pics!) but a recent guy flipped that.

We’re both 5’7 but I tend to always wear heels (2 to 3 inch min) so he usually looks shorter than me, but like you said, his confidence made up for the height and made me open to a guy I would normally reject. I was worried about being able to be picked up and such, but he keeps his body in great shape so it was never an issue.

So, I guess what I’m saying is… Go for it guys! Matt hit it on the head when he said confidence and good body type are key!

Jennifer May 20, 2010 at 6:01 pm

Excellent post. I just stumbled across your blog by chance while reading another one – I saw the title and had to come by.

I am 5’2″ tall. I have never had any issues with my height at all, I couldn’t care less about it actually. I’ve never felt like I HAD to date tall men, but it seems that a lot of tall men were attracted to me, so it just happened that way. I never gave height that much thought until I was with a man for a very long time who was 6’4″ tall. To be quite honest, it was annoying after a while. He couldn’t fly comfortably on a plane (even in Economy Plus with extra legroom, it wasn’t enough – and we paid extra for it), he had to lay a specific way on the king size bed or his feet would hang off the end, finding jeans that were long enough was nearly impossible, he hit his head a countless number of times on a hanging light fixture in our home…along with him being tall he had the biggest freaking feet in the world (LOL) size 14 – and we had to pay outrageous amounts for shoes. The whole “fun” factor of him being tall wore off rather quickly… especially when the first thing everyone said about pictures of us was always “wow he’s tall!” Really? I hadn’t noticed that, thanks for pointing it out.

Before I was with him, I did date a couple of men who were shorter.. they ranged from 5’5″ to 5’9″ or so and then the rest were 6′ and over. The couple of men I did date who were on the shorter side really turned me off with the whole angry complex they had about their height. I’m not a man so I didn’t understand it, but your analogy about it being like women who are overweight makes sense. I tried my best to reassure them that height was never an issue and I hate wearing heels anyway, so I was always shorter than them… but it did nothing for them. I have to agree that confidence does go a very long way, especially with me. Confidence is sexy at any height.

On the flip side of this argument, I have 2 friends who are ridiculously hung-up on height. One is 5’9″ and the other is 5’7″ and they are forever saying “he’s cute, but he’s too short” and I feel offended for the guy. They are disqualifying him strictly based on looks. (I’m always willing to give him a chance though.. so it’s good for me!) I want to look at them sometimes and say “how would you feel if a man disqualified you because you’ve got a fat ass? Wouldn’t make you feel good, now would it?” They started in with calling me short and I gave them both the royal smackdown about it. I’m not going to listen to it. In fact, they anger me quite a bit acting like that… they’re the reason that short people have a complex about their height (or lack thereof) in the first place.

So, anyway…. I wanted to come by and post a comment and tell you I can relate. There ARE single women out there who won’t disqualify you based on height alone and you just have to find the right ones.

I am back in the dating pool now and I have to admit, I’d much rather have a shorter man than another tall pain in the ass who complains about his height too much! Also, may I just say… we’re all the same height in bed… so keep that in mind next time someone tries to complain about it ;)

Phoenixism May 22, 2010 at 6:56 pm

@ Orin…generally I find that short women don’t like dating short guys. Women not only consider the physical appearance of their boyfriend in an isolated context…they look at how the boyfriend and she will appear together, as a public team.

One short girl has told me that she doesn’t want to make a “short scene” in public with her equally short boyfriend. A tall man will compensate for her physical conspicuousness and deflect undue attention.

jay t cache June 30, 2010 at 10:15 pm

Im 5-6 asian american and have had beautiful woman as tall as 6 ft and as small as 5-2. It is true that most “hot” tall leggy women will not “see” me in a social gathering unless i stand out confidently in personality and looks. I have always made up for my height thru the sexual confidence Ive attained by utilizing my past experience with taller “out of my league” women.

Believe me there a plenty tall hotties with low self esteem, drunk, vulnerable, and sexually cavalier appetites for a short guy to hit! Been “sweeping up” taller babes all the time! You just have to make them feel small and special.

Sinner July 5, 2010 at 3:26 am

Hello Modern Savage-I’m 5’7-I an relate:

However I did have some good game the past few days.

For those in the know-one of the toughest places to game is a nude beach…

I just came hear to relax. About a dozen guys were surrounding the three hotties with their tops off. I wasn’t looking to sarge so I headed away from that little scene.

Outta nowhere a knockout blond came off the trail. I’m standing ankle deep in water buck naked. She looks my way and smiles. She keeps headin’ north. Well, she gave me a go signal and I’m on full game mode now. I wait a few moments and nonchalantly walk north past where she has gone into the water. I head back, she is wearing a blue bikini and exiting the water.

I say, “it’s nice hear, isn’t it.”

She answers back “yes.”

I catch an accent and ask where she’s from after we exchange names. She is Swiss and her name is Sahara. She is studying English in downtown sd. The chat is nice, goin’ a little slower than I’d like but the eye contact is good. She asks me about why I’m naked. The convo is going in a more amourous direction. I tell her it feels nice–and ask if she isn’t because she is shy. She says some things are private, then looks right at my privates and smiles again.

The sexual tension is imense. I’ve worked on my inner game and fully accepted my sexuality. A lesser man would be embarrassed. My body reacts in the most honest way. I sport a huge erection. She seems surprised. She says she’s going back to the coast. I don’t pursue…
I’m so hard it hurts. A lesser man would find a private spot and rubb one out. I let the cool water calm my engourged member down.

Later on, I catch up to her as we are walking up the trail. I smile and ask if she was embarassed by what happened. She giggles an says it’s okay. She heads towards the bus stop. I offer her a ride. She is a bit hesitant but accepts. We head downtown. I drop her off and jokingly say that she should buy me a coffee. She says howabout diner. We go to a nearby burrito shop. She has seen me naked and haven’t seen her yet. A lesser man might feel slighted by this imbalance in power but I use it to my advantage. I say, “You’ve seen me naked, you’ve seen an intimate side of me now tell me one of your secrets.”

Eye contact has been good at this point, but nothing physical yet. I am respecting her physical boundaries and letting her build trust. At this point I gently grab her hands and look into her eyes. She looks away but doesn’t pull away. She looks back and giggles.

“What is it?”

“I’m…..how do you say, virgin….”


“I’ve seen boys before but never, how do you say aroused…”

“How did it make you feel”

“It was beautiful” she states…

We finish our meal and she says she has got to get going.

I tell her that we should see each other again. I forge ahead a step further than most PUA’s as I don’t even have her digits. This is not a normal pickup as she has already seen me naked but I haven’t even kissed her yet. I know this move could get me shut out, but better to be shut out than play games that go nowhere. She gets the hint and pulls her phone from her purse. I enter my number into her phone and call my phone so I have her number in my phone.

We gently hug.

I get a call from her the next day. There’s a party and she wants me to come along. It’s a Thursday night. Those Europeans can drink and she is already buzzed. Unlike most PUA’s my best game is stone cold sober. I have about two drinks. She tells how we met to two beautiful french girls. They laugh and their body language is very flirtatious… The night is moving slowly for me. I met alott of different people from brazil, russia, spain…. I walk here back to her apt. She sloppily kisses me. We make a date for tommorrow.

Next day I take her to a movie. I’ve got a hook up so I don’t have to pay for tickets. We cuddly up. The physical contact is good. We wind up making out. She pushes my hands away when I touch her breasts–shut down. I’ll have to take things slower than I like. I walk her back to her apt. She says she would like to go back to the beach.

On Sat. we walk down the trail. We find a section that is mostly couples and mostly older. We set up I strip off all my clothes. Most the men are naked. Some of the women are fully covered, some topless and only a few are naked. Sahara stays in her bikini. We go into the water. We get back to our towels and lay down. I offer a massage and she accepts. I undo her bikini top. After the massage she lays down with her top undone for an hour. I say we should walk up the coast. he starts to put on her top. I tell her not to be shy and go topless.
She covers her breasts with her arm and I hold her other hand. We walk down the coast. As she is getting more relaxed her arm drops. Two drooling surfer guys walk past and stare. She gets a bit self concious and covers up. We walk back to the towels. I tell her that the sensation of being in the water naked is awesome. She tells me to look away. When ?I look back, she is totally naked. I say now we’ve both seen each other. We run to the water and splash each other.WE head back to the trail and I drive her top her place. She invites me in. She says she is going to shower and invites me to join her. I fianaly get to feel her pert b cups. We kiss fevershly. She looks at my engourged member with hungry eyes. Iguide her hands to my penis. She is hestiant at first I stroke myself a few times then she begins stroking. She is amazed when she sees me ejaculate against the shower wall. We talk afterwards and she says she has no plans to lose her virginity.

Any plans on how to make this happen is appreciated.
Sun. -was not able to see her due to obligations.

Hope to be the one she loses her virginity to.

Genius July 5, 2010 at 7:28 am

This sounds… how do you say… apocryphal.

Mario Incandenza July 24, 2010 at 7:01 pm

Thought I would stick with the Infinite Jest theme…and be the mangled and demented one : )

Anyway, something that has occurred to me before about dealing with height insecurity is age/status, probably because I’m still young, 21, and although quite capable of building a great future, currently broke and limited by that. I’m 5’4” for the record,
with big hair that gives me an extra inch — but the truth is I could easily still pass for an 18 year-old.

Up until college, I did really well with girls, I think partly on the strength of my personality/character and partly because I’m lucky enough to at least be handsome, but college was a huge drop off. I was respected by nearly everyone knew, had plenty of female friends, but always kind of “shrunk” in the face of my own personal problem: assuming all girls either dismissed me or could read my acquired insecurity like a book. I’ve recalled that people were shockingly more mature about finding a partner in high school than they are in college, because the thrill and novelty of being an ‘adult’ drives you into situations (bars, strangers’ parties, foreign countries) that do more to assimilate or expel you than define you.

But what I want to say is: it’s amazing how a person can be intelligent and confident in so many ways and yet fail when it comes to believing that they are desirable as a composite, fully fledged human being. I don’t know why I became hyper-conscious of my height when I did…possibly because a man’s bones fuse at my age and the idea of being at my final height is chilling. I mean, to be Old and Short: is that not the brutally terse self-image plaguing this ubiquitous middle-aged short man who feels indiscriminitely written off in so many hurtful ways that it’s best, or easiest, to just ignore it without ever accepting it for what it is? To skulk?

Now, I can speculate because I’m young and I retain my boyishness – which has its charms – for the time being. But then I think this is the kind of speculation that dooms us to become this haunted person and have to dig ourselves out after some damage has already been done. It’s too easy to get so self-involved in the working out of all kinds of scenarios and explanations for rejection and failure – past, present, future – that we lose the ability to be the least bit unassuming about things we actually know cannot just be assumed. My point isn’t to be overly cheery and say that a lot of things aren’t shallow and predictable – that our culture isn’t dismally comforting and numbing in its conventions – but on the other hand, if we can think of ourselves as, you know, fundamentally something other than a f*cking measurement or an object of opinion, then we might be more inclined to believe in ourselves. Too many people also do really, obnoxiously well to justify rotting in contempt.

Whoa. Well I guess I’ll just close with a paraphrase of Seinfeld’s line to George in the reunion episode on Curb: he basically says there are people to be met all over the place – on the bus, at the store, now online, wherever – and yet somehow all these people seem so self-absorbed and self-important that it’s impossible to ever make contact with them. Because, he says, strangers have a bad reputation. That’s funny, but I disagree. There’s no contact because we are what we rotely infer in others.

Days of Broken Arrows September 13, 2010 at 7:48 am

I’m very late to the party here. But I really need to share this one.

Back in college there was this beautiful, frighteningly sexy hippie chick everyone wanted. She would play frisbee in a bikini top and cause the entire campus Quad to hold their collective breath. And she had a boyfriend who was a super cool musician, who was way better looking than me. I was around 5’2″ and a freshman then and didn’t think I had a chance. Plus she was older. But I contrived a way to meet her, and over two months won her over, just as the end of the school year came to a close and we left the dorms.

After being home from school for a week, I received a letter from her. She told me she’d broken up with her boyfriend. Then she invited me to visit her — she lived probably 50 miles away. AND she contined to write me letters after this.

I never took her up on this offer. Why? Because I had an idiotic father telling me no one would ever like me because of my height (I was short because of meds I was on as a kid and this was a huge deal to him). So I totally lacked confidence and bowed out of the would-be relationship by simply no longer responding to her.

Two decades passed. I contacted her on Facebook. She was not happy to hear from me. From what I gather, she took this rejection hard. Twenty years later, she’s still angry with me for what she perceived was disinterest but was really fear of rejection, ultimately.

I don’t think I need to spell out the moral here. And I’ll add that this is but one of dozens of similar stories of mine, all revolving around lack of self-0confidence. All you younger short guys should take heed.

Marcel Anthony September 17, 2010 at 3:27 am

Days of Broken Arrows;

That is the most tragic thing I have ever read. But perhaps your horrible story serves a purpose in educating others in some twisted way. It certainly opened my eyes.

Self confidence is our battle that we must continually fight, and so many things come in-between our self-acceptance. From height, to being called names, and becoming skeptical of our own value as a person.

Cailin December 3, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Ouch. This topic is a toughie. I always catch myself mentioning “tall” as a good thing when giving clothing advice to/in front of shorter male friends or describing an attractive man. However, I can definitely support the you’re-short-but-she’s-shorter solution – I’m 5’3″ and I’ve dated guys who were 5’8″ and 5’9″ (the 5’9″ guy was a certified hottie in my opinion too)… I never felt like they were short because I was 5-6 inches shorter – but I do enjoy my heels. I’ve got to say that sans heels, I loved it because it looked “right” when we took pictures together. (It’s a bit awkward for me to take photos with my 6′ husband now – I always feel like standing on a box.) What can I say? These are the types of things women think about… so take a picture with her early :-P

Tom December 7, 2010 at 6:13 pm


And you gals call us guys shallow….It “looks right”? Thats like saying to a small breasted female…”sorry honey you just do not look like a real woman, real women have bigger breasts” if a guy said that he would be crucified as being a pig, orge and all…I appreciate your honesty but women like you are downright awful shallow human beings…what if you had a child that was a cripple or was born without a limb or two, would you look at that child as not being a “whole” person? down right awful…

Cailin December 8, 2010 at 11:14 am

Er…I didn’t say anything about taller men (please remember, in the sentence you’re referring to I was noting a positive of dating a shorter man) not looking like a “real” or “whole” man… I think you’re taking my comment a wee bit too seriously. How does the fact that I enjoyed being able to see both mine and my boyfriend’s head in a photograph at the same time have anything to do with how I’d feel about a “cripple” (by the way, nice PC term there buddy) child? If that makes me a “downright shallow awful human being”, so be it – but I think it’s much more shallow to instantly relate a woman’s opinion (on why dating a short man is actually nicer at times, no less) to your gender-divided agenda and put her down with little tact (or basis, for that matter).

SonnyJergens January 27, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Short girls demand tall guys. Tall girls prefer, but usually demand the same. I often wonder what’s more important in a mate because it seems that women place higher value on the practicality of their high heels. Short guys often don’t fit into the relationship equation with women because the shoes have the final say. It’s sad, but it’s so true. The only time a man’s height doesn’t matter to women is in the extremely rares cases when she doesn’t require him to be X amount of inches taller than her.

Too bad for Days of Broken Arrows. He must’ve found one of those rare tall girls who places no importance on a man’s height. Guy should have found the guts to ask her out, but in a sense I don’t blame him for not pursuing her more dilligently. Tall women can be very cruel, if not vicious in their treatment of shorter guys. For every tall girl that politely rejects a shorter guy saying “thank you, but I’m involved with someone,” truth or lies be told, there’s ten other tall girls that will laugh in your face or humiliate you for even trying. Nothing shatters a short man’s confidence quicker than a tall chick with height issues who goes out of her way to make the shorter guy feel like absolute crap just because he asked her for a date.

Tall girl must have really fell hard for DOBA considering she’s still mad at him after all those years. DOBA not giving her “a chance,” and subsequently avoiding correspondence is no different than the hords of women who don’t give short guys the same opportunity and excommunicate them in the process. Harsh reality, but as a 5’5 guy, this is nothing new to me and I can’t sympathize. Women may think they’re letting a guy down easy by avoiding his phone calls and deleting his emails without explanation. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’d rather a girl be straight up and tell me that it couldn’t work. I guess it’s a safe bet that the tall girl now understands a microcosm of the BS that short guys go through.

DOBA, don’t blame your dad. He was trying to save you, the short guy from the embarrassment and ridicule that goes with approaching the taller ladies. Not all of them are evil but it does take confidence to approach any woman. Don’t let it happen again, talk to as many ladies as possible and learn to accept and deal with rejection.

:) January 28, 2011 at 9:37 pm

I know I’m one in a million, but I love short guys. I’m 5’7, and I will look at a guy over my height…

Kevin Connolly did get Emanuelle Chriqui… my only advice, don’t be an asshole trying to compensate for your height. That’s a complete turnoff, but the confidence (despite being ‘short’) is the sexiest thing in a man.

tim February 15, 2011 at 2:44 am

i’m 5’5″ and skinny. i try to workout and eat more but haven’t grown much muscle. i only deadlift about 400, squat 300 and bench about 240 for maxes. ofcourse i try to add volume. i’m in my late 20s and have gone from 135 lbs to 155 lbs, but some of it is fat. how can i grow more muscle to be a bulldog? i have more of an athletic build where before i was slim and cut. all this hard work and little benefit. help..

Matt Savage February 15, 2011 at 12:02 pm


I’m a skinny guy too and also have a tough time bulking up, though to be honest I haven’t really tried much. I’ve been reading Tim Ferriss’ new book, The Four Body, and he seems to have some pretty good techniques for bulking which includes some vigorous kettle bell workouts. Could be worth checking out.

Michael March 6, 2011 at 5:47 pm

I’m 5’5″ and understand that most women tend to care more about wearing heels than their potential future husband/boyfriend. Part of it I just don’t get the “i can’t wear heels”.

Firstly, shorter men don’t emit a force field that prevent women from putting on heels (this is true in 100% of cases)
Secondly, shorter men don’t care if a girl is taller (this is true of me)
Thirdly, people matter more than footwear (or at least humans should matter more than footwear)

However the media is partly to blame for this. The way short men are portrayed in movies and TV shows. Heck when people think of “short” actors they commonly mention Tom Cruise who at 5’7.5″ is only tad bit below the mean height men. Not a true short actor like Michael J. Fox at 5’4″. I remember there was a debate over Daniel Craig as the new James Bond a few years back because he was “only” 5’10″

Also the entire “short man syndrome” thing is completely bullshit. I’ve been told that I am successful in school because I am “compensating for my height”. So if I have a high GPA I’m compensating and if I have a low GPA I’m a stupid/idiotic short guy? It is also a label that seems to be arbitrarily attached to shorter men who act identically to taller men.

I guess one positive is that being short weeds out >99% superficial, shallow women. However it also serves as a primary elimination factor for the vast majority of women.

Jack March 24, 2011 at 8:05 am

Yeah, height matters to women, but so does confidence, as much, if not more so, I would say.

Regardless of how tall you are, never let it make yourself feel insignificant, less worthy or less capable than guys who are taller . And if a certain girl isn’t interested in you because she thinks you’re short, then so what, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Really, I think short guys have it much easier than ugly women. We can compensate with personality, confidence, money etc., very ugly girls can’t really.

Oh, and I’m 5″7.

Zach March 29, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Hey Matt, great of you to write about this subject. Letting us know the obstacles you’ve overcome gives you good credibility. I’m 5’6″ by the way.

Steve April 6, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Dude, your money with these articles!!! I got hooked to your blog after going on Google looking up “how beatin’ it can affect your mood around girls”. Your blog came up on “Male affects of masturbation on attracting females” or whatever its called and I couldn’t get over how right on you were/are.

I’m about 5’7 – 5’8 and have never had a problem with girls, in fact I have a problem with too many girls (too many GRENADES!).

This brings me to why I’m writing you! I would and Im sure others would also love you to write a article on “how and why a guys mood can change if he’s talking to a new smoking hot girl and how to deal with it. My problem is I’m not my self around them, but when it comes to not so hot girls I pull the rip cord off grenade with no hesitation. WHY IS THIS?!?! Honestly, I’m sick of waking up with these fatty’s in my bed, I’m too small and too good looking for this nonsense! It’s not that I cant pull hotties, because I have and can, but I think my problem is that I throw all my cards in too early and go with the easy, not so hot chick, almost all the time because its….easy?! Anyways, I would love you to blog on this, THANKS!!

Cassie May 17, 2011 at 10:25 am

As a girl who’s 6’1, I love this article. Once I got it into my head that not every guy I dated had to be taller than me, suddenly I was going out on a *lot* more dates. Guys have a problem with height just as much as girls — I get “giraffe,” “amazon”, and “Xena” all the time.

What frustrates me with going out with shorter guys is their lack of confidence. I own six pairs of 3″ heels — I couldn’t wear them for years because my dates didn’t want to feel short. And everything came back to the height issue. It couldn’t be that I’m neurotic, or that they never paid for dinner, or that there just wasn’t a spark that meant we didn’t go out on a third date. Nope, everything boiled down to the height disparity.

For the record, I don’t care about what height a guy is. If he has the confidence to approach me when I’m rocking my “attack of the 60 foot tall woman” pumps, he deserves a date. And if you need an example of a short man with confidence, check out Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones. That man is the hottest actor in the series for sheer attitude, as far as I’m concerned.

SonnyJergens May 19, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Hi Cassie, question for you.

How long did it take you to get it into your head that a guys height shouldn’t be the here all and end of a relationship? It’s not as if 6 feet guys grow on trees right? Were you strictly a “no men shorter than me allowed/my man must be at least 6 feet ” girl? Confidence is definitely important but I think the issue has more to do with women because very few ladies measure confidence equally between short and tall guys. Tall guys are supposed to have confidence but more often get a free pass because they are tall. Girls may like tall guys even if they come across as wimps. Short guys have to work harder for everything in life and are often unfairly stamped with negative labels based on our size. I’m not an aggressive Napoleanic guy with short man syndrome, but I will admit to avoiding the taller girls sometimes because my confidence has been misconstrued by as an excuse to call me over-aggressive and annoying. It’s almost as if I’m wrong for even trying to talk to a girl your height no matter how polite or respectful I am to you. Hate to say it, but girls your size rarely open themselves up to short guys anyways. A lot of you hate it when we try to make conversation and are quick to pass us off as creeps with creepier fetishes. That’s what bothers me the most about tall women even though I do find them attractive. So with that being said, kudos to you if you are different and don’t mind short guys approaching you. I certainly would, and the heels would never, ever be an issue.

Cassie May 30, 2011 at 10:40 am

You make a good point there, but I think that you’re also using a pretty broad brush. I rarely opened up to anyone in high school or college when I went out, simply because guys who were shorter than me had a habit of making me feel bad about how tall I was. In response, I would say that people are quick to pass off tall girls as aggressive sporty types who wouldn’t deign to have a drink bought for them. I can tell you it’s not true. I want to be the fairytale princess as bad as any girl who’s 5’5, but the truth is that men don’t approach me in the same way.

The reason I’m with my current boyfriend is that he opened doors for me, pulled my chair out, and refused to let me pay for my own drinks. He makes me feel feminine, and height isn’t a part of that. Height assumptions run both ways — don’t assume that all tall women are domineering, aggressive ice princesses. I don’t assume that all short men have napoleon complexes and hairy feet.

To answer your question, it took me a couple of years into college. My first boyfriend was 6’7 and an asshole. Rude, expected me to pay for everything, and emotionally and sexually selfish. Once we broke up, I realized that the only standard I had had was “Tall. Taller than me.” Once I changed my standards to “smart, funny, kind, and playful.” and knocked “Tall” out of the list, I found a lot more men who were a lot better — and a lot better for me.

Susan June 11, 2011 at 4:07 pm

I’m 5’6 I always go by the 6 rule.. Must be able to stand 6 hours with my friends, must know 6 good jokes, must get his socks in the laundry basket 6 out of 7 days.. As for a guys height..I dated a guy who was 6’3 and was the smallest man I knew..Current boyfriend is 5’6 and larger than life :-)))))

Never no June 28, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Wow If only I was 5’6 or even 5’4.
Im 5’2 and it is horrible in everyway. I thought I read the blog to make me feel better but it has made me feel worse.

I am a good looking bloke and has always been in a relationship, but they have never lasted. like they are not happy with what they got. My last relationship was for 7 years and I had a child with her who now is 5. She was a model and was 5’10 and bloody gorgeous, an English rose they say.
Now I am single again and going out I have realized how strangely the opposite sex looks at me.
I get looked at as abnormal or laughed at and it is very difficult for me to pull. I feel like a fucking idiot on the dance floor. “Look at that midget”, some people say.
I do pull, most the time as I am very good looking and confident.
So people put yourself in my shoes. I consider personally, anybody man who is 5’4 and above normal looking in the public eye, imagine being my size, you should have no problem what so ever with the women.
If only .

d July 21, 2011 at 3:00 am

When asked a lot of girls will say they like tall guys. But this is when asked. People are notorious for not understanding what they actually want. Even when asked things like what do they shop for. Sex is going to be even more inaccurate than common things.

What matters is what they do ‘in the wild’. I think most of the time other factors such as confidence, charm, whit, etc are far more important.

Player87 August 17, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Would any of you guys go out with a girl with a fat ass, big lips but small boobies? These hypothetical questions are stupid. You can’t judge going out with someone based on height alone, if you can than you have no standards. Even what April said, if shes hot then shes hot, but you guys must start to screen for the personality types you get along with.

I constantly refer to Tom Cruise as a universal example of shortness not being a factor.. Every female movie-star he`s been with has been taller than him.

Does it mean girls don`t like tall guys? No.. but it does mean that how you handle yourself is what REALLY matters to a girl.

Michael August 17, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Comparing height and weight is apples and oranges.

1. Women don’t want overweight men either. What woman wants to date a man who has enough fat around the midsection to make up a small child?

2. Weight can change, height can not. Weight is an indication of how one has been taking care of themselves, height is not. No matter how poorly someone eats in adulthood they will never be shorter or taller, but their weight will change.

Stick with proper comparisons.

nola August 24, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Okay, so not all girls like shorter guys and women in general are way to into height. There are some women who like shorter guys. For example I love and prefer shorter guys! I feel just wrong dating anyone over 6’0 and I’m 5’10! No offense to taller guys but shorter guys are generally sweeter and funnier than their taller counterparts. My ideal height for a guy would be 5’6 or 5’7 but I’d go down to 5’4. Other women can go ahead and be silly about not dating anyone under 6’0 I guess it just leaves more for me :)

SonnyJergens August 26, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Hi Nola!

Awesome post, thank you very much! The world would be a much better place for short guys if there were more women like you. Thanks for looking down! It’s still so rare for a tall woman to have an open appreciation for shorter guys. In North America, women are taught and trained to hold reservations against us, believing we are bad protectors and inferior to tall guys at everything.

I’m 5’5, and every taller girl I’ve met with the exception of one has used the height excuse against me whether it was direct or indirect. None of them were blunt or rude about it. They just figured the easy thing to do was ex-communicate me and dissappear without explanation. One girl at least had the decency to tell me straight up that my height was her problem. Despite her telling me I was a handsome guy with a nice body, it just “wouldn’t work out” in her words. I guess that was her polite way of saying “sorry dude, you’re good looking, just not tall enough for me.” Funny, I get more of this stuff from the ladies my height and shorter.

Oh well, too bad for her and more short guys for you like you say! BTW, it’s ok to spread the word and share with your tall sisters too!

Matt September 1, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I am guy 5/3.5 and pretty sexy i think what matters is your tight game. Girls give me attention all day as i work in retail going kino and shit ;P. I’m pretty new to cold “pick up” finally getting over a breakup and getting back out there. So just trying to calibrate better when I’m in clubs no girls really comment on height unless your being a real doosh bag and trying to hard like when my friend tried to accomplish intro me as he was hammered and knew a girl who was supposedly “easy” saying I was a God talking me up talking me up blah blah blah he was drunk and the girl said your height is not very godly however I said yeh I do ive got heaps of height I can touch the sky or something stupid and stacked forwarded. What works best is making anything people say about your height ridiculous and if you get a laugh it is good but the main goal is to say things like yeh i cant reach it id need a fuckin trampoline to get up there etc. My main barrier for me when talking to HBs is calibrating my routines. Remember if you absolutely know yourself and HOW you are going to react in any given scenario this is very attractive to women and all people you meet beyond measure I think. People will seek your validation. Love everyone in the world and they will return the favour. Dont take it personal what people say as this just shows that you view yourself in this light. Ive only recently discovered this as I never had a problem with my height affecting my psyche until for the first time in a while a couple ppl at work were ripping into me about being short like not being able to see over the counter and shit which is funny the guy was being a joker which he always is I wasnt really aware of this and took it totally the wrong way I should have responded with something like “yeh ill need fuckin spring shoes to see over this bitch” or something of that nature but instead didn’t say anything to encourage his humorous side. I was stressed about just moving into my new role with these people and trying to act professionally which made me look like a real spoil sport. He only just recently made a joke about my height and hes like “it took you this long to shrug off a joke about you being short haha”. So the key I’ve found is to laugh at yourself as its not you they are laughing at its your height. Flipping this scenario into a funny light or “re-framing” – credit from Neil Strauss writer of the game, is attractive to women men and really anybody who sees your ability to lead a conversation in the path you want it to go. If someone straight up says your short just say yeh I know like its the first time you’ve heard it or just reply if someones says hey shortass just say hey mate they will get over it very quickly trust me I know it took me like 6 months to figure this out the hard way by always reacting and trying to be like no i’m not short what are you blind and always reacting badly. Some people will keep saying things if they will get a reaction from you. Same with if people call you gay you can sarcastically say yeh im a raging homo clearly. It just gets awkward if they continue pestering you about it, or if you do something stupid just say yeh i left my brains at home today i think my IQ is about 10. Nobody can say anything to that and you kind of look smart for coming up with a witty retort. So encourage people when they make fun of your height and brush off people that say short-stuff etc it’s probably the best, these people are usually insecure anyway so don’t even worry they are too insecure about themselves to worry about you. If you have a good sense of humor this will get you out of any situation just make it ridiculous and you disarm yourself as the target and you can stack forward to other things. As you can see I’ve given this a lot of thought as I do with everything in life (i cant help it!) it has baffled me how only when I have made a conscious awareness of people calling me short has it been a problem. Just figure out how to deal with it and move on which I feel I have nicely. Some of my successes recently include one night stands (girls not too hot as obviously you have to start low then aim high haha). Getting the sexy hot bartenders number I was quite pleased with that. Getting cute girls numbers who have boyfriends. getting numbers does not really take you as far as you think as usually unless there is enough comfort and trust its hard to know what to say when you ring them its awkward create a time bridge – all credit to Mystery. You should read his book the mystery method I recommend it its got some great techniques for moving through the attraction stages. Talking to really beautiful girls when I’m on a roll there is not really much that can stop me and girls love the confidence and just genuinely having tight game. Your already ahead of so many guys who have their tail between their legs it says alot about you if you can just go literally up to whoever and start talking to them. I take feedback from girls by their IOIs such as as allowing kino escalation, if shes laughing etc etc. What girls openly say I am going to talk to that guy and sleep with him you have to have enough game to make it happen. Yeah sure good looking and/or tall guys may have it easier but if they have no game they can still be useless when trying to pick up women. I am a human testament that height does not matter for pickup unless you make it an issue for yourself. Count your successes and visualize these every time you feel you need some encouragement it works for me. Just go out one night and approach every girl you can see in the club if it means getting drunk do it just see that you wont get blown out because of your height you’ll get blown out for saying something very dumb or doing something stupid like grabbing a girl and trying to hook up with her off nothing. Just do it and you will rid your approach anxiety and see yourself in a world you really want to be in and can continue improving your skills by practice on all the unsuspecting poor ladies out there till your game is really tight. If you need to see some inspiration watch this clip of this champion PUA instructor he is definitely much shorter than this chick and he sets up a date to see her that night there are other videos but i liked this one. Yeah I mean I could be a complete naive fucking moron but that’s just my thoughts on this matter and seems to satisfy my overall self worth and thought I would share! Remember if your too short just get some big ass platforms like borderline stilts. Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZfLGTOyi2g&feature=related

Ox September 4, 2011 at 1:45 am

Just wanted to throw this little gem out there for my fellow short brothers:

It is much easier for you to pick-up and date a girl of normal or taller-than-normal height. Even if she is significantly taller than you. Why?

By her very nature a woman wants to give her offspring the best genes possible (just like men want to have sex with as many women as possible). Subconsciously she will immediately reject a short male as that will guarantee her offspring will be short (even if she says otherwise).

Ox September 4, 2011 at 2:02 am

In that last paragraph I meant to write:

Subconsciously a short woman will immediately reject a short male as that will guarantee her offspring will be short (even if she says otherwise). That is why you rarely see short women with short men.

A tall woman will not have this trigger (at least not subconsciously). Your chances with an average or tall woman is much, much better.

Michael September 4, 2011 at 9:40 am

Two shorter people having children does not guarantee short children. My parents were both below average height (by U.S. standards at 5’1″ and 5’7″) and had a son who ended up being 6’1″. That is an ignorant statement.

Although I agree with women having this trigger as they have been socially conditioned into thinking more height means a person is more of a human and a better person.

Ox September 4, 2011 at 3:42 pm

That may be true (regarding the two short people having a tall child) but it’s irrelevant. What the woman subconciously perceives to be true is what matters — that two short people will have a short child. That is why you almost always see very short women with very tall men.

If you believe otherwise then either you are not a short man or you have a very difficult road ahead of you trying to pick up short women (as a short man).

Michael September 4, 2011 at 4:16 pm

You are right it is irrelevant (in this case it is true because I know how tall my father, mother and brother are) because reality doesn’t matter for many women when it comes to dating. Height is associated with health, taller being healthier even though there is a spectrum of issues with short men being at higher risk for heart disease and tall men being at higher risk for cancer. A short man who acts identically to a tall man is labeled as having “short man syndrome” while the tall man is lauded.

Unlike my brother I’m short, trust me I’ve heard most of it from women including the “you are half a man”, “second rate human”, etc. From my experience it’s not tall women who height matters less to but women who are average in height (5’3″-to-5’5″) with the shorter and taller side of the bell curve (5’7″) having more requirements for height with regards to dating. Taller women appear to desperately want a man taller than them so they can “feel” feminine.

real girl October 15, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I am a 5’9″ female. Men and women are always telling me I’m very attractive or beautiful, have a great body, etc., and, although flattered, due to my gawky teenage years, I am still a bit surprised at this reaction to me. I am kind, possesses good values, think for myself and am quite independent. I get asked out alot but am selective – I want a nice guy with good values, etc. I am crazy about a guy who I estimate to be about 5’4 1/2″ tops. I think he is a doll. We have tons in common and I would love to go out with him. We were working together and I know that he would not date someone he works with due to his role at the workplace. This year he is working elsewhere – actually a place I used to work – because they took his office out of my building due to room contraints (unfortunately, this move makes it difficult for me to see him very often). Although his position warrents that he be pretty damned tough, in the past he has become what I would term nervous or flustered the couple of times I casually mentioned doing something (not a date) outside of work (others in the workplace do things after work sometimes). I’m not sure how experienced he is with women – he has not dated anyone during the time I’ve known him. Despite his outward persona, he has made negative comments related to his nose or how thin he used to be. On one occasion, when we were talking in the parking lot, I noticed that he casually moved over to stand on the curb when talking to me. It did not dawn on me until afterwards that he did this. I think he is handsome and his height has never been an issue for me. I am surprised (actually a bit incredulous), however, at the short comments related to him that I have overheard in the front office from two secretaries and a (tall) male employee. I’m sure that if I have overheard comments re: his height from time to time then others must make comments that I have not heard. Are short men exposed to these types of comments regularly and how do they feel about it? Now, although my interest generally presents as stoic (due to his position, he has to), I have noticed a few occasions where he is looking at me in a way that makes me melt. He also talks to me vs. others when he has something personal he may be concerned about, etc. – e.g., he lets me into his personal life whereas he does not do that at all with anyone else at work (I also have his personal cell phone number whereas others only have his work number). My question is: although his height is not an issue for me (at all), could the fact that I am at least 4 inches taller be an issue for him??

Michael October 15, 2011 at 3:24 pm

As a short man barely taller than the guy you like I can say it is not uncommon for men in that range to hear degrading comments on any sort of regular basis. Comments like “he is half a man”, “he should have a genetic test to figure out what is wrong”, “no one would want a child like that”, “how could anyone treat a short guy like that like a man”, “women want to date a man, not a boy”, “he is compensating by being successful” are all rather common comments about short adult men. As for how to respond to such comments it is an incredibly narrow path to tread; a knifes edge. A response to harsh and he could be labeled as having “short man syndrome”, a response to tepid would just lead to more of the same mocking and belittling. It is really a terribly place to be in.

Height matters much more for women than it does for men. As a short man I have never cared about the height of any of my past girlfriends/partners. I doubt he would care if you are taller than him.

Megan October 21, 2011 at 4:08 am

As a woman, I have a different take on this whole height issue.

Let me start by commenting on the comments.

“You’re tall enough she can rest ther head on your shoulder and you can throw her around during sex”

Why does she want you to throw her around? Sexual submissiveness as a fantasy sounds at best reasonable, but what you are describing reflects either self-esteem issues or psychological dissonance with reality. Women who want to be thrown around during sex … now that’s just weird even for rough sex.

“More attractive girls tend to be pickier about height, but then again, they’re pickier about everything”

What do they bring to your relationship? What do they contribute to society? What value do they add to the world? What entitles them to get all the privileges they seem to seek? Merely their beauty? And what happens when they get older and their beauty subsides … what reason do you have to stick with her then?

“I often wonder what’s more important in a mate because it seems that women place higher value on the practicality of their high heels. Short guys often don’t fit into the relationship equation with women because the shoes have the final say. ”

Yes, women want men to be taller, protect her, make her laugh, throw her around, etc.

In other words, she prioritizes the following over your personality – heels, what people will say about her and her husband seen together, free bodyguard, free comedian, BDSM master, etc.

Why do you men put up with this nonsense? Don’t you have more to offer than this? Dump these women and move on to the ones who deserve you.

Dating and relationships are not a one-way street. You choose the women as much as the women choose you.

Granted that women can have babies and you cannot. Besides that one limitation, you men can do everything else that women can. Don’t give away your power and your right to choose by letting only the women choose you.

“For every tall girl that politely rejects a shorter guy saying “thank you, but I’m involved with someone,” truth or lies be told, there’s ten other tall girls that will laugh in your face or humiliate you for even trying. Nothing shatters a short man’s confidence quicker than a tall chick with height issues who goes out of her way to make the shorter guy feel like absolute crap just because he asked her for a date.”

Why do you men put up with this crap?

You do all the hard work, with academics, and sports, and career, and asking women out!

Where’s men’s liberation? When are you going to stand up for yourself?

“Really, I think short guys have it much easier than ugly women. We can compensate with personality, confidence, money etc., very ugly girls can’t really.”

Not true. Every girl, ugly or not, can get a guy. Perhaps the ugly girl will not get a guy whom the media portrays as great, but she still gets a guy who loves her the way she is.

Of course, she needs to get off her ass and follow whatever it is she feels passionate about.

There’s no such thing as a perfect sweet innocent woman. The idea of feminine perfection is a myth. There is no such woman. Even your mom had sex to give birth to you. No offense implied here! You have to stop putting these women on a pedestal and stop expecting women to be fair in their selection of you .

“Taller women appear to desperately want a man taller than them so they can “feel” feminine.”

That only means that she is insecure about herself. If a woman needs a man to be taller, more masculine, etc, it means that she has low self-esteem and her entire feminine identity is relative to her man’s height and masculinity.

SonnyJergens October 24, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Hey Megan,

Thank you for taking the time to quote the quotes. Your take on this discussion is interesting and appreciated. Here’s my answer to you.

You ask us men why we put up with this crap? Simple answer. We put up with this crap because we have to, unless you want to be alone which I’ve politely accepted. WOMEN’S LIBERATION has flushed men’s feelings, desires, and status right down the crapper. Men aren’t really allowed to be men anymore without serious repercussions. In todays world, standing up for yourself and taking any slight action to defend yourself results in jail time, a job reprimand, court dates, custody battles, empty pockets, headaches and lots of frustration. A woman’s word holds a whole lot more weight than a man’s word today. If you’re a short guy like me who doesn’t take nonsense from anyone, male or female, you get branded with the short-man-syndrome disease that society deems perfectly acceptable to reference short men with ambition.

It’s so easy for you to say “dump” these women and move on to the next woman who deserves you. The next woman more often is just like the first, sometimes a little bit louder and a lot worse. In fact, there’s women who believe short men aren’t men and don’t deserve to be treated or respected as a man like those who have height. Forgive me, but I strongly believe modern women don’t want what they deserve until they actually lose what they had in the first place. How do you explain dumping someone or getting out of a relationship when so many women are the shallowest of the shallow, and don’t consider a short man for a relationship in the first place? All because he doesn’t measure up heightwise. Women covet what they see others women have, kinda like “The Silence of the Lambs.” They want the tall, good-looking trophy guy to show off to her friends who’s the furthest thing from a physical embarrassment to her by public opinion. You can’t deny that a large majority of young women base their feminity on the guy standing next to her. Sad to say but high heels still largely dictate whether a man is boyfiend, husband or father material.

Men’s Liberation doesn’t exist in this world and it never has. We’ve gone TOO POLITICALLY CORRECT as a society, closer to the point of no return. Unless you’re the typical tall, dark and handsome that practically all women desire there’s not much room for the shorter guy in todays world. Every once in a while a woman comes along who’s a reformed heightist or victim of bad relationships. These are the ladies who speak very loudly against what she thinks is the short guy “self pity.” She might even cry out that she likes short guys and is sick of taking the grief from short men who’ve been mistreated by other women. Either way, if your a man with tons of money, that gets you a free pass regardless of your height, as long as your income is consistent. There’s always the risk of the short guy being used and abused for that purpose alone. I don’t find it surprising that women keep the guy with the most money in her back pocket and cheat on him with the guy her heart desires. I’ve seen it happen in enough relationships as a third party friend and a victim. This somewhat correlates to the high divorce rate, but there’s always two sides to the story.

You mentioned sports and academics? Sorry to say that this does not apply and only matters to the man who takes the initiative to keep himself steadfast in atheletics and education without needing to impress women. A lot of women say they want a good, fit man, who’s smart, goal-orientated and has a strong sense of character. Women also say that sense of humour and good manners is important. Again, none of this matters if you don’t have the height to go with the rest of the package. Women don’t allow themselves to see past the physical and into the emotional side of a man unless he measures up to her height standards. One more thing, you are right by saying we men do the choosing too. What’s misunderstood is the choices we make get thrown back in our faces via harsh rejection and insults. For me it’s almost to the point where I don’t make choices in women anymore. I do choose to smile, be polite and courteous, well spoken and well read. Women can’t understand the nature this when they see my height first and nothing else.

So in conclusion, I’m still a good man that would love to meet a good woman who will see me for me and accept my height as ME. What I don’t do now is make a priority to include women in my life. Can’t escape them anyway LOL. Women’s Liberation has done enough to disclude me from theirs so I don’t go out of my way to be accomodating for them. Women of senior citizen age still have manners and are thankful and respectful when a kind man like me helps them out in their daily lives. I’ll still offer my seat on the subway to a pregnant woman without hesitation and help her up and down the stairs with her stroller. That’s just being proactive, having common sense and being a good man in general. Speaking of seniors, maybe when looks fade, old age approaches and women cease to base their lives on the standards of Hollywood living, I just might take the time as an old man and try to get to know a good old woman. When you reach the senior citizen age, looks don’t matter as much, but trust, happiness and companionship does.

Joe Hamid December 18, 2011 at 2:00 am

I’m 5’4″ and 29 years old. And very torn on this issue. I have always been a pretty popular guy (blessed with lots of great family and friends) and very outspoken and consider myself an extrovert. This has allowed me to meet many attractive women and develop social skills that allow me to communicate well with them.

The reason I am torn. In highschool, I got asked by the hottest girl in school (whatever that means) to prom, in college I would “befriend” many very attractive girls. Even recently I had a very attractive recent college graduate calling me, texting and so on. Therefore I do not believe that you cannot meet very attractive women while being short. The problem is that is very easy for women in general to put short men like myself in the friend zone or even hookup but not want to date.

Now I look at it two ways and this is what drives me nutts. Is it me who lets this happen based on the fact that I am too shy to make a move because I think I am too short? Am I getting denied because they sense this lack of confidence or is it really just because I am too short?

It’s actually really sad because I have had a lot in common with these women and I do think at a certain level we have loved each other but it seems to fall apart either because of my deep self loathing for being short or sometimes because of being short.

I guess the “torn” part is that is sometimes the woman being superficial but also I must take some of the blame.

It really sucks because my relationship with my family is great, I am about to receive my MBA from a top school, I make good money at a great job, I have my health as does my family, and I have a large great group of friends. However, I do find myself very depressed because of the fact that I feel unlovable because of my height. Quite sad and pathetic but it is what it is.

Ask anyone who is short and they will tell you that it is not the greatest thing in the world. I do not think it has any effect on life except when it comes to women (and sports) but only because we (short me

applepie December 18, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I’m a 5’7 (170cm) young woman. Everyone in my family is tall and athletic.All the men are 6’2 about, the women are 5’6-5’9. I have never even thought about height. But it seems normal for me to date and marry a man who is 6’2, as this is what I grew up seeing with my male relatives. It is natural and expected. Also I would feel weird introducing a boyfriend who is like 5’5 to my family, it would be like a joke to them….
I left for college and met all these short guys (who werent even taller than me) it just felt awkward.
Short people come from short families.So they should want to continue their legacy with other short people.

So perhaps a reason taller women don’t want to date shorter men is because they grew up with tall fathers and brothers and they want to continue their family heritage.

BlueNovember December 22, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Okay well I’ll chime in as a 5’10 woman who was involved with a guy who was 5’6 and is now dating one who is 5’8. I have frequently been attracted to a certain ‘type’ of guy–kinda stylish, fine facial features, often erroneously assumed to be gay due to their slightness and good fashion sense, and often these guys are shorter than me. I was incredibly attracted to the aforementioned 5’6 guy and it honestly never occurred to me that he would be so insecure about his height until he kept bringing it up, making jokes about how I should slouch more, not wear such tall shoes, not wanting to be photographed with me, etc. It actually made *me* insecure about being *taller* than average. But I was more physically attracted to him than probably anyone else I’ve ever been with…it was just a deep insecurity on his part that it, in turn, made me uncomfortable with my own body. I’m 6’1 in heels and I when I wear them, most guys are too intimidated to approach me. My body type may be fairly close to some model-ish ideal, but here’s a secret: tall women are often more insecure than women of average height because people admire them from a distance. The guy I’m dating now is mostly great but he still acts like he wishes I were a few inches shorter, and it makes me sad. It’s like he won’t believe that his height doesn’t matter at all to me and I think he’s adorable. Or maybe that’s the problem, he wants to be seen as masculine and if it came down to it, I could probably pin him :P But it seems like a stupid reason for a relationship to not work out, and to all you shorter guys out there reading this, it’s true that 5’10 blonde model types may be attracted to you. Please allow yourself to believe it and don’t constantly act like her height is a big deal.

DoesNotMatter December 26, 2011 at 11:55 am

The grass is always greener on the other side. I am 5’11″, but I have a fetish for girls taller than me. I’ve only once banged a girl who was taller than me. She was older by a decade, but because she was taller, i found her irresistible. The sex was sensational. My dick would get so hard, it would hurt. I thought that motherfucker would break. I so got off on her height that I ignored everything else. A few tall girls I dated, i tried to get them to wear 5′-6′ so she could tower over me while we went out. I also had sex with them while they were in heels. You are spot on when you say that a girl’s preference for a tall guy goes right out the window if you ooze with confidence. In my case it’s not confidence I ooze with as much as lust/horniness. When I see a girl taller than me, I literally cream my pants. My point is that I am so horny when I see a tall girl, that I am absolutely fearless. My horniness does not permit me to feel fear. It is so intense that it keeps me in the moment. Basically I am like the drunk guy full of liquid courage, except that I am full of semen in my arteries, metaphorically speaking. The only problem is there aren’t all that many girls taller than 5’11″. Sometimes I wish I were 5’2″ or something. That way I’d do so many girls who were taller than me and indulge my fetish to the max. I’ve done one taller girl and several who were taller with heels on. I have no doubt I’d get a lot of 5’4″ girls if I were 5’2″. The point of my comment is that grass is always greener on the other side. Who knows if I was really 5’2″, I’d probably be full of hard luck stories, while now I am bitching wanting to be shorter. You see?

Michael December 26, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Saying the “grass is greener on the other side” is a joke. There is no benefit to being a short adult man in the United States; respect, women, salary, etc

tom December 30, 2011 at 10:53 pm

I’m 5′ 7″ and I’m getting killed on online dating sites. I’ve done some modeling (a gay “nude art” photographer) and am built like a short Hugh Jackman. I have a doctorate in English (which may actually be the dealbreaker) and I have money. I wear a Rolex. Also, I dress well. I wear tailor fit designer clothing. However, online dating is a bust. All the hot girls want guys who are seven to nine inches taller.

At bars, women smile at me and even approach WHEN I’M SEATED or standing at a distance, but when I’m standing near them, they don’t seem as interested. Here, in NYC, a woman who was 5′ 11″ walked past me today and gave me a look of disdain.

I feel like I could date pretty much any guy over 25 at my gym, but that’s because gay men care more about washboard abs and pecs than height.

In the past, women have been really into me (I look a lot like Tom Cruise), but they were all 5′ 4″ or shorter (some very hot), and when and where I grew up (Boston in the 70′s-90′s), nobody wore heels. Height wasn’t really much of an issue, until I moved to NYC, where women always wear heels. I think, as many posters have suggested, heels have a ton to do with it. Maybe it’s different in places like St Paul, Cleveland, and Atlanta, but in NYC women wear heels as often as they can. But there does seem to be an endless supply of guys who are over 6′ here.

Anyhow, my feeling is that online dating is pretty much impossible for short guys (I finally posted a photo of my Rolex and talked about money). I’ll just go sit at a bar or club and hope to charm a woman before I stand up.

ED January 1, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I kind of think a lot has to do with attitude really. Shorter guys do have an advantage physique wise, in that it is probably easier to get an impressive body in the gym. Different cultures whose average height is not as tall probably are far less heightest which I have even notised around Asians and Indians to name a few. When a female overlooks a good looking 5”7 guy for an average or ugly 6” plus guy it does seem rather incongruent.

James January 2, 2012 at 7:44 am

A lot of good points where made. My situation was different. I luck out and met a woman when I was young who didn’t have a problem with my height. I was rejected in highschool by a lot of short women but I didn’t know why at the time. It didn’t matter because I met my future wife my senior year in highschool who just happen to like men my height, she was 5ft 7in, about the same height as me. Let’s just say I was sheltered from all the shallownes that short men have to put up with. I had a wife and I never tried to cheat on her so I didn’t know my height was a MAJOR issue. At age 32 after 14 years of marraige, I got divorced. Now all of a sudden I’m on the dating scene, first time in years. Reality finally sat in for me, my height was a major issue for a lot of women. I was also finding out about these strange theories and myths people had about short men. It’s bad enough to deal with the height thing but when people assume derogatory crap about you that is off the wall, you can’t help but to stop and wonder. Theories like: you are just trying to over compensate for being short by being successful. I’m not allowed to be successful? There is a lot of hidden prejudice against short men. As much so if not more than being a minority group or being gay. No one stands up for you and says these myths are outragious and sick. People say it’s your confidence that maybe the problem but I have always been a confident person. “SonyJergans” made a lot of excellent points responding to “Meagan”. You can be confident, muscular, (I work out a lot), succesful and treat women good but if you don’t also have the height to go along with it, it doesn’t mean anything. What’s messed up is that’s the one thing I have no control over. I have some control over how successful I am, I have control over how muscular I am and my weight, I have control over how I dress and how I treat women but height is the one thing I can not change and people judge me on this. That’s not fair. Just like someone already said comparing height to weight is like comparing apple to oranges. Losing 10 pounds is a lot easier than growing yourself 10 inches. Because growing yourself taller is impossible. If someone could do it, that would be a major front page news story all over the world. After 6 years in that brutal dating sceene I’ve met a good woman who didn’t care about height but even she admitted when she was younger she would not have went for me because of my height and she’s only 5ft tall herself. Like someone already mentioned short women as whole tend to be the most shallow about height.

SonnyJergens January 3, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Hello Blue November!

Thanx for posting! First of all, are you for real? Seriously? Not that I’m having a hard time believing you, but there aren’t enough 5’10 women like you in this world. It’s equally depressing to suggest that more of you exist when in reality, your numbers are an extreme few. You are as rare as rare as rare as they come! What? A 5’10 woman who dated a 5’6 guy? What? A 5’10 woman who is now dating a 5’8 guy? WOW!!! Where have you been all my life???

Tall girls just don’t readily date shorter guys unless she is self confident and has absolutely no issues being the taller person of the two. Yes, I can believe there are tall ladies who are attracted to shorter guys and might have an actual preference for a shorter man. Again, the ratio of couples I’ve seen where the woman is more than two inches taller than the guy is maybe 1 for every 100 couples. Funny how you mention gay guys. I’ve worked with enough homosexuals to know that you are right. Most of them have a strong fashion sense and they do dress well. What I find interesting are the hords of women who are attracted to these gay men. I guess this explains why these women opt for the impossible challenge of turning a gay guy straight. Hooking up with the short heterosexual guy is a waste of time if the gay guy is tall and good looking LOL! Some hard core feminists believe it’s their innate right to date a tall guy regardless of his sexual orientation. Gay can be “fixed” according to them. Seems like a code for gay guys who want to have fun teasing straight women. Dress well, be fit and stay somewhat slim and slight for them to approach you! This doesn’t work for short guys hahaha!!!

One more thing BN, don’t ever slouch! Walk proudly with your man and do your best to reassure him that his height doesn’t matter to you. Maybe give him an ultimatum to stop obsessing about your height and the difference between the two of you. Like I said, it’s harder for a shorter guy to believe a taller woman has an honest appreciation for his looks and his short stature when society says directly and indirectly that he’s inferior to tall men.

ED January 8, 2012 at 2:37 am

This is most typical in Western culture, as the average height is somewhat taller. I think having a strong frame and feeling of self worth is an important attribute. I have always felt that being shorter means I have a better body and fashion sense more than makes up for any lack of height. Good grooming, fashion sense and physical condition are obviously traits appreciated by gay men and women of taste. I think it is only worth focusing on women who are worthy of you, instead of coming from a frame of having to qualify for a women.

Drew January 12, 2012 at 8:33 pm

I feel like the shortest guy everywhere I go and I’m 5’6″ i wish there was something i could wear that made me look taller at least but I haven’t found anything.

Michael January 12, 2012 at 9:03 pm


Wearing properly fitting clothes is very important. Truthfully 5’6″ is not that short, but many clothes manufacturers do not make clothes that fit that people that height or shorter. Especially dress clothes.

Try Express which has great fitting shirts for shorter men, especially dress shirts, long sleeve shirts and they have extra slim shirts if you are on the slim side. Wearing jeans/pants which fit properly is also important. American Eagle has nice shirts but also great jeans sizes at 28×28 and 26×28 if, once again, you happen to be on the slim side.

Melissa January 20, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Okay, had to post here. I am/was considered a ‘hot girl’ (now in my 40s, but still get hit on by guys of all ages.) I am 5’6, so of average height. I exclusively dated tall guys until I left my 6’1 husband and fell for a 5’5 man. Turns out that sex is WAY better when all the parts line up, however you like to connect them.  :) This guy changed my life — I prefer short men now and don’t hesitate to wear heels with them. Confident men like confident women. So… all you guys under 5’8 who think it’s dumb when women prefer taller men — you’re right! Now go out there and show them how good it can really be. :) 

James January 20, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Melissa, I’m glad you posted, and it seems like when short men get older we face less descrimination. I’m a short black man, 5ft 7in.
I posted something on January 2nd. Before I met my current relationship I briefly dated this woman who was 37, & 5ft 4in. She admitted when she was younger, she never would have dated me just like the one I am currently with who said the same thing. But she went further with it admitting she had several pre-conceived notions about short men. She actually thought all short men were smaller than average down there and she quickly found out after dating me that wasn’t true. But I was thinking you’re 37 years old and you just now finding this out? It became a major turn off even though sex was great. I guess she was a little too honest and it pissed me off. How can someone just assume that base on the man’s height and she told me a lot of her friends when she was younger thought and felt the same way . I’m thinking young women get together during their teen years at slumber parties and come up with all these crazy myths that don’t have any merit reality. She also admitted she never dated nice guys because she thought nice men didn’t believe in having fun and was uptighht about sex. Where do they get this crap from?

Michel January 22, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Lol…I am a 5′ 2 .5, a short guy…my suggestion to short guys like myself- Give bull shit about what other people think, don’t think about ur height, keep yourself fit and strong, be nice to ladies, cultivate some talents, make your career successful, be happy with who you are, love yourself and be passionate about life- tall or short girls will start following you ( : Good Luck my friend!

SonnyJergens January 23, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Ahhhhh Melissa, yes indeed, the reformed heightist!

These are the girls who vehemently refuse short or shorter guys in their youthful days . When they reach 40 or older, they can’t afford to be so picky because their diminishing looks won’t allow them to compete with the younger girls for the good looking tall guys. Unless they have Jennifer Lopez money and can pay a boy toy to spend her money on dates for her. That’s ok for me because I believe women get better as they age. Most become smarter and less concerned about height and how a guy makes them look. This means short guys are fair game and good to go? Somewhat yes. While I don’t honestly avoid these type of ladies, I certainly don’t welcome them readily either. Why all of a sudden am I good enough for you now to date? I have no desire to show reformed heightist women how good a short guy can be when they wouldn’t even give me the time of day to begin with. It’s like they are forcing themselves to find something about me that turns them on, which I don’t want. At the same time it’s nice to meet a young woman who has the intelligence to understand that good men come in all heights and all sizes. Then again, most women are taught and trained from a very early age that short guys are inferior. This is the plight of a short guy until women smarten up. There’s a lot of foolish and absent minded women who treat short guys like we’re diseases until they realize the difficulties later on in life when trying to find a life long partner. I guess they can’t stand the thought of not being able to give their nasty cold to the man beside them. Some prefer to stay alone rather than settle. I worked with a 5’1 guy who dates these women like they are going out of style, some more than half a foot taller than him. No action from highschool or college but a boatload well into his adult years. They all want attention so it means hooking up with a short guy is better than hooking up with no guy at all.

Michael January 23, 2012 at 4:45 pm

You hit the nail on the head. Women generally consider short men to be third-rate, sub-human, disposable pieces of trash until they realize the average adult male height in the U.S. is not as tall as they were tricked into believing from movies and tv shows. At a certain age some women decide they have to lower their standards, no pun intended, then they are more willing to accept short men once they hear their own clock ticking. Of course there are many dollars which can explain why older women are more likely to go for shorter men, after all a short man could be worth it depending if his money makes him taller.

James January 24, 2012 at 12:16 pm

SonnyJ. & Michael
Excellent points. That’s why I couldn’t continue to date that woman because she was a “reformed heightest” , basically letting me know how stupid she use to be. All these bizarre myths she had about short men were way beyond strange. And to think these myths are shared by a large number of young women in society. I dont like to think about it much because you start losing respect for women as a whole, and that’s not good. I have a good carrer going, I keep myself fit. I am in a lot better shape than most men my age. That should count for something. The woman I with now is also a “reformed heightest” but she woke up at age 25 that’s 15 years ago. The one that was 37 and still had until recently those myths in her head was too much for me to stomach.

Frank January 25, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Hey can I say somthing? I know its a bit late but im 18 and about 5’5. Im pretty built and am mostly confident. I been with girls my height a bit shorter and some a little taller. To be honest they all felt safe with me. You know why? They new that even if i was short I was a strong ,powerful,tough guy. What I learned is yes some girls make a big hype about height but majority really dont. Its confidence, its knowing who you are. Most of my friends are tall guys and out of all of them Im the toughest one, go figure. In the end you cant be hard on yourself, does it suck being 5’5, in a way yes, would I prefer to be taller, of course. However, I dont show that, I show that I dont care. I show that I know my own strength and weaknesses. If a girl doesnt like me for whatever reason, I pay her no mind. I act as if she was nothing more then something id find on a sidewalk. I never put them on a pedastool and load and behold, Im respected for it. I really agree with this article, confidence goes along way. Besides, though some girls like taller men, a lot just like men taller then them. So in essence when you think about it, its really not that bad. Theres somthing I learned in life, you need to be the dominant male. The alpha. No matter what your height, if you hold your own, if you show people you dont roll over and your confident none will fuck with you. There are millions of girls out there so whose to say everyone of them does not like you for your height? If you act confident and you accept both acceptation and rejection it gets you respect. Being short dosent mean you cant protect, it dosent mean your less of a guy, its your mind. Your mind and how you take care of yourself. I keep saying this but im telling you its confidence that really plays out in the end. Sure some girls wont like you but just as many that wont the same amount will.

Elle January 29, 2012 at 1:08 am

I just want to let you guys know that I’m a tall woman. 6ft. My boyfriend is 5ft 6in. I have only dated one guy who was taller than me. I have never dated a guy that I could look directly in the eyes.
What I’m saying is, I do not go for tall guys. I also do not go for short guys. I go for guys I feel safe and comfortable with. I’m a taller than average woman in a relationship with a shorter than average guy and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in. In fact, I wish he would be secure enough to let me wear heels out. I hear all the time that guys like girls with confidence. It’s the same for girls.

Elle January 29, 2012 at 1:41 am

Also, I’m seeing a lot of comments about female footwear here. I just want tot say that it’s not that women can’t wear heels because they’ll look too tall. It’s that woman don’t wear heels because their short dates are afraid of looking too short. It would be nice for short guys to make tall girls feel like they aren’t too tall. I spent a lot of my life feeling like I was too tall for all the guys I liked, not that all the guys I liked were too short for me. As most of the guys I liked happened to be shorter than me, I thought I wasn’t good enough for them. It really works both ways.

And something to keep in mind, guys can always bulk up. They can’t grow taller but they can get more muscle. They can always find a way to feel more masculine. A tall girl who is taught to be small and delicate by the media, cannot change her height. She can lose weight, but she will still be tall. She can never be just a girl. Ten strangers a day will feel the need to tell her that she’s not normal. She’s tall. When people ask me how the weather is up there I get the urge to spit on their face and tell them that it’s raining.

I want my boyfriend to let me wear heels out because I would know that he thinks I’m perfect for him whether I’m tall or not. It would make me feel like he’s proud to be seen with me in whatever I want to wear.

Rachelpaxson January 29, 2012 at 11:21 pm

I’m a taller girl and people tell me im attractive and I have a guy about 2 1/2-3 inches shorter than me that is possibly the most fun guy in ever been with. I never thought I could like a guy shorter than me but 1 he’s built 2 he had the confidence to want to get with me(that’s mainly what makes me like him the most). That’s what I have to say :)

SonnyJergens January 30, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Hey Elle, I like your first response. Excellent!

“What I’m saying is, I do not go for tall guys. I also do not go for short guys. I go for guys I feel safe and comfortable with. I’m a taller than average woman in a relationship with a shorter than average guy and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in.”

So nice to hear the viewpoint of a very tall woman dating a much shorter man! Shucks, lucky guy musta beat me to you LOL!!! I must mention that despite you feeling safe and comfortable with your much shorter boyfriend, there’s still way too few tall ladies like yourself who will confidently date a shorter guy let alone be seen with a guy much shorter. The very issue of taller women feeling safe and protected is often compromised by unscientific beliefs people have against shorter men. We are seen as weak, inferior, unnatractive and unmasculine in many eyes. A man’s height is determinate by many women shorter and taller as a clear indicator of his protector capabilities. Next, I’m sure there are enough short guys who have heard this question and answer from taller woman many times over.

“How can he protect me if I’m bigger and taller than him?”

“There’s no way I can feel safe and protected with a shorter guy.”

Short guys endure this stuff on a regular basis from women who support serious claims that tall guys are more masculine and are better protectors. Elle, you are just one honest woman with an open heart and open mind in a world of closed hearts and superficialities. I appreciate and respect your post but you can’t deny it. How can a shorter guy make a taller woman feel like she’s not too tall? Wear lifts? Leg-lengthening surgery? Tall woman should wear flats? Unless you’re an actor filling a role or your job requires you to wear lifts, it wreaks of insecurity as far as I’m concerned. What happens when the short guys takes the lifts off and reveals he’s much shorter? Some short guys are going for that costly, dangerous, painful, surgery that entails breaking the leg bones, and stretching them out to form new bone. You’re left rehabbing in a wheelchair for 6 to 8 months on top of the extreme pain of daily physiotherapy. Add more pain to the equation when the pins at the point of fracture need to be treated and cleansed daily to avoid infection? Sorry, no thanks, not for me! No amount of pain is worth making yourself more attractive to the taller opposite sex based on Hollywood culture. Really, I don’t know how to make a taller woman feel like she’s not too tall?! She should wear flats maybe? I think it starts by treating a taller woman the exact same way I would treat a shorter woman. Give her the immediate respect and the dignity of being treated like how any woman would want to be treated. Be polite, courteous, cordial and attentive to her. At the same time a man should have an independent voice and opinion that distinguishes him from other men. Both tall and short women hate wimps or guys that come accross as pushovers right?

Oh, about the high heels? All I can say to you is that your heels would never be a problem with me. In fact, I’d welcome them as part of your wardrobe and tell you to rock em’ any time you want when we go out. As long as there’s no pain involved when you walk, it’s fine by me. FYI, some women ruin their sexy feet and gorgeous toes by jamming them into the tiniest, pointiest heels just to look taller than everyone. That’s not attractive. One more thing. Don’t ever slouch. It’s perfectly OK for you to tell me that I can always bulk up and add muscle but it’s not always the right advice for some short guys. Working out is a very good thing but some men have a really hard time bulking up because of their metabolism. I think telling us short guys to keep our bodies fit and healthy without doing too much weights is better. I’ve been told by women that short guys bulking up is actually the wrong thing to do. Little guys with big muscles look disproportionate and are unnattractive.

Martin Hearne February 5, 2012 at 3:29 pm

To Matt Savage.

Being short myself, one should not lose hope. As I believe in reincarnation, I think things happen for a reason. Here are a couple of e- mails I sent to my Psychic and clairvoyant: -

I am still feeling positive. The only reason I have felt a bit down in the past is I compare myself to other people, due to my lack of height. I have always found it difficult to attract the opposite sex, and form relationships with other people because of it. I am hoping in my next life, I am of average height or taller. I will then be able to enjoy a whole new range of experiences, which I will never have in this lifetime.

I am sure that is all down to bad karma. I do not want to
make any mistakes in this life, so I come back in similar circumstances in my next life.

I feel I am on the right path with your help.

Like I mentioned in my last e-mail, I still want to be around a few more years, to see the big changes, that are going to happen soon, then I will see if I want to move on.

When I mentioned about moving on, in my last e-mail, it does not mean doing anything drastic, like taking my own life. I do not believe in suicide, hopefully with feeling good at the moment, I will never sink to a lower state of mind, and with you helping me, I want to keep my word, so I will not let you down.

What I meant was, when the time comes if I want to move, is to ask God in my prayers, if he will take me peacefully, when I am asleep, so I can start again in a new body. It is like when you get bored wearing the same clothes all the time, and you want to change into fresh clothing.

Sometimes the only way you can progress is to tear down the old and start anew.

Then again a miracle could happen in this lifetime, where I may not want to come back again as another human being, and I may want to move into a higher dimension instead. After all God has the last word.

Who knows, I could meet a woman, like you, that could make me feel complete, and values me for what I am.

So please do not lose hope, we are dealt with more than one hand of cards,. That is why reincarnation explains away the unfairness, of having only one life.


Ronan February 5, 2012 at 5:54 pm

0h wow.. I am about 5’3 and very shy . I never really thought much about relationships because it’s not the priority for me (I’m 20). Sure it would be nice to have a girlfriend but I knew height would be a turn off for most girls. So I googled the subject and I can’t believe what I’m reading here. Jesus, 5’6-5’7 men in their 30-40s posting stories of terrible luck all because of height.. WTF>? Is that what’s ahead of me? I’m freaking horrified now, how can I ever approach anyone knowing this? sub-human ? freaks ? Who says all that shit? I’m not in US but planning on coming there at some point, but oh mygod, I didn’t expect this. It can’t be that bad.. People have always respected me , even assholes. So what if I’m not manly looking, I have boy-ish pretty face looks and it shows my true nature and that I’m a really soft and loving person… So what If I’m not into sports, I like art and culture. I appreaciate all the incredible things world has to offer. I still hope there is a girl who will accept me and I will not end up here in my 40s complaining how height has destroyed my life. But approaching ? No way.. i’m sensitive enough as it is, I dont need to be called these awful words. I don’t have any ‘game’ and don’t intend on ever going to clubs or trying to attract random ‘chicks’. So yeah..

James February 7, 2012 at 9:15 am

Ronan, I’m curious what country you’re from. Here in the US height matters a great deal if you are male. You can make up for it a little bit by being buffed but that only helps depending on how short you are. If you’re close to 5ft 9in but buffed as hell, it can make up for it but the shorter you are the less it helps. Some countries 5ft 6in and shorter is the norm but not here. Here people do judge you by your height but only if you’re male. Short women are not judged negatively at all even real short like 4ft 8in. If you’re female in this country it’s perfectly fine being short, no one judges you but if you’re male there’s a problem. Below 5ft 10in you will start having problems, the shorter you are the more there’s a problem. What is so rediculous you will face the most dislike from short women. Imagine me being close to 5ft 8in but a female who is 9 inches shorter than me saying I’m too short for her. That’s what pissing me off.

Shorty McShort February 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm


I am a woman, 5’3. I have been told so many times I was too short to date by men. “I like you but you are really short, do you wear heels often?”. Like when? Around the house? If you only like me when I have heels on then you are shallow. I don’t want to date you anyway.

Tall women are brutal with us short women. You blame us for taking all the tall guys but most tall men I have met do not want to date short women. They wonder where all the tall women are.

Shorter men treat women so good. Sex is better when you are close in size. Having sex with a man who is more than 6 inches or taller makes it hard to kiss at the same time. Also he crushes me in some positions. Ugh.

I like the shorter guy I am dating right now. Bring on the short men!!!

Shorty McShort February 7, 2012 at 12:37 pm

@ James:
“Short women are not judged negatively at all even real short like 4ft 8in. If you’re female in this country it’s perfectly fine being short, no one judges you but if you’re male there’s a problem”

What? And you know this because you have been a short woman?

I am judged all the time. It is hard to get promoted. People (men and often tall women) see me as “young”. I have a hard time getting noticed in business unless I am wearing hooker heels. It feels awkward. People think it is all right to call me “munchkin” or “midget” because of the same attitude you have. I am a woman so being short doesn’t bother me.

Do you know how awful it is when you can’t reach the top of the shelves at a grocery store? I am always looking for something to stand on to get stuff off the top shelf. Why do tall people have to put everything up so high?????

James February 7, 2012 at 3:43 pm

You are the first short woman I ever heard say anything like that. I find what you say hard to believe. I never heard of anyone having a problem with a woman that’s short unless she’s like 4ft 3in or something like that. I never heard of any dude having a problem with a woman that’s 5ft 3in. I have short sisters and I just asked all of them and they never had your problems. So is your post a prank or something???

Martin Hearne February 7, 2012 at 3:59 pm

I have been doing more research into the power of prayer.
Does it work? Yes and no, but not in the way you expect.
For example to attract a woman, if she prefers tall men:
If you are a short bloke, like myself, no amount of praying will make any difference, because you are trying to exercise your free will over hers, so no,
But it can influence your next life, by becoming tall in your next one, making such a thing a possibility, so yes.
It is the same with money, if karma dictates, that you are going to be poor in this life, you have just got to accept it, but you could come back in better circumstances next time, to make it more feasible.


James February 11, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Also @ Shorty McShort you said “Tall women are brutal with us short women. You blame us for taking all the tall guys but most tall men I have met do not want to date short women.”

Well aparently what the tall women are saying is true, most of you short ladies date tall men exclusively. That’s a known fact. If men are saying you’re too short, then apparently these men you trying to get with are real close to 7 feet tall.

The last part you said starting with “Shorter men….” I agree with you 100%

Michael February 12, 2012 at 8:04 am

@Shorty McShort
Firstly thank you for admitting implicitly that you do not to date any short man, even though he may be 5 or so inches taller than you. While short women may face a lack of seriousness in the office place that is only one small part of discrimination that short men face. Short men face discrimination at every part of their life. I can guarantee you most men do not turn away women for being to short. You may be called names as a short woman but it does not carry the innate negativity as it does to a short man. As a short man I have had people tell me I am a sub-human, short men have been told to check themselves into a genetic screening to figure out what is wrong with them to screen them out from the world, I have been called half a man.

The negatives of being a short adult man, specifically in American society, is a true detriment to overall quality of life. If the only inconveniences were finding clothes to fit properly and being called names every now and then this would be a minimal issue. The fact that even short women at 4’11″, 5’0″ and 5’1″look at short men who are 5’4″, 5’5″ and casually toss them aside as unworthy garbage is telling to how society views us.

Personally I have found that women my height or slightly taller are slightly more accepting of short men. I think it may be because some taller women (above average height at around 5’6″, 5’7″) don’t have the need to be constantly reminded that they need to be a short woman to feel feminine and this allows them to be more comfortable with shorter men because they are already comfortable with who they are.

Being a short man, in American society, is bad regardless of race, economic status or educational level. You are treated as a lesser human being, you earn less money for no reason other than being short (at least the people acknowledges women get paid less and pass legislation to fix it, when short men bring it up people just laugh at it), you are regarded as a third rate choice as a romantic partner. There are almost no tangible positives to being a short adult man.

Martin Hearne February 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

You are absolutely right about what you have just mentioned. I am 54 years of age and just under five seven [I may be starting to shrink!]. There are some things you have just got to accept in life. What you did not mention was how old you are. If you are young, say in your twenties and being short bothers you that much, have you considered leg-lengthening surgery? There is an article in the health column in The Mail on Sunday today about it. Who knows in time to come, they may be able to improve on treatment, where not as much pain is involved. Mostly height is genetic, etc if your parents are short or tall. But as I believe in reincarnation, I think we make choices before we come into the world, like choosing our parents and the circumstances we incarnate into. We have had thousands of bodies in the past, some good, some bad, and no doubt the same in the future. Even though very few people remember their past lives, there is a reason for this.
Have a look at Karma/Reincarnation.

God Bless.


Michael February 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm


Being short likely doesn’t bother any male; it is the treatment from individuals that we all can’t stand. If women looked at me as a real human and not as a disposable entity that vaguely resembles a person then this would be much less of an issue. Being turned down for jobs, being seen as less intelligent, having women laugh in our face, etc.

Leg lengthening surgery is extremely expensive, I met with a surgeon who performs the surgery and overall it can cost over $100,000 in the U.S., even more if there are complications and insurance typically doesn’t cover cosmetic procedures. Not to mention during the lengthening process which takes two-to-three months you generally can’t work, then one is confined to a wheelchair for awhile during the healing process. That comes out to half a year of ones life and well over $100,000; All that for 2-to-4 inches of height, a few men who I have spoken with say it is well worth the cost. Now the operation is performed overseas for much less but people have to be very careful over which non-American Doctor they choose, some are legit and some are very poor.

Martin Hearne February 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm

You are absolutely right about what you have just mentioned. I am 54 years of age and just under five seven [I may be starting to shrink!]. There are some things you have just got to accept in life. What you did not mention was how old you are. If you are young, say in your twenties and being short bothers you that much, have you considered leg-lengthening surgery? There is an article in the health column in The Mail on Sunday today about it. Who knows in time to come, they may be able to improve on treatment, where not as much pain is involved. Mostly height is genetic, etc if your parents are short or tall. But as I believe in reincarnation, I think we make choices before we come into the world, like choosing our parents and the circumstances we incarnate into. We have had thousands of bodies in the past, some good, some bad, and no doubt the same in the future. Even though very few people remember their past lives, there is a reason for this.

God Bless.


Martin Hearne February 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Like I mentioned in my last e-mail, they are making progress on things all the time. And who knows where money is concerned, miracles can happen like a windfall or inheritance. Just have faith and pray, and if it does not happen in this lifetime, it will in some future one. There is a reason for everything. God answers things in his own time.

Ox February 12, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Leg-lengthening surgery?

C’mon Michael, it’s not that bad. You’re going to risk losing the ability to walk (or worse) for a few inches?

That’s absurd. I feel sorry for any guy that would consider that. Anyone considering such an extreme measure needs to talk to a shrink first. You’re being hyper-sensitive to your environment. You said yourself no guy cares about being short — it’s how people react to the shortness. If your confidence improves the shortness won’t seem as bad. Some of the most successful men in history are short.

I’m 5’4″ btw.

Michael February 12, 2012 at 4:47 pm

The risk is minimal and the person is only in a wheelchair for a few months. The surgery is done thousands of times a year over in China and there are minimal effects to it. Like Martin said the procedure, like all medicine, is constantly going through an evolving process.

Anyone who has leg lengthening surgery in the U.S. is required to get psychological evaluation and I did and I was approved. If you knew anything about leg lengthening surgery you would have known that fact, because you didn’t I will only defer to the professionals regarding it. Unless you are an orthopedic surgeon who performs limb lengthening or a psychologist who is responsible for performing the evaluations your opinion is irrelevant to me because they are not based on any knowledge of the procedure.

Ox February 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm

You’re right. I know nothing about it because the concept is preposterous to me.

Also, just so you know, a Psychologist is not a Medical Doctor. Some states don’t even require any formal education for psychologists. If you want a proper opinion you need to see a Psychiatrist (formal M.D. education).

If you work on your confidence you won’t have to spend so much money on such a dangerous operation.

Ox February 12, 2012 at 5:31 pm

From the first Google hit:

“Cosmetic Leg Lengthening procedures (also called Symmetric Extended Limb Lengthening) can not be compared with more simple plastic surgery options. They are very complex, painful, costly and require long recovery times from one half to one full year. People considering this procedure must be fully aware of the pain and discomfort associated with it and must be mentally prepared for the duration. Since anti-inflammatory pain medication can disrupt the creation of new bone, some doctors prescribe minimal pain management. Some medical centers require that the patient undergo a psychological evaluation to ensure they will be able to endure the recovery, with the necessary positive attitude.”

I cannot fathom that anybody would put themselves through something like that. To each his own, I guess.

Michael February 13, 2012 at 6:08 am

“Also, just so you know, a Psychologist is not a Medical Doctor. Some states don’t even require any formal education for psychologists. If you want a proper opinion you need to see a Psychiatrist (formal M.D. education).”

So let me get this straight. I met with the M.D. who performs the procedure and I met with the only Psychologist who he accepts evaluations from and you are trying to tell me I need to see a Psychiatrist? What exactly is your educational background? Why would you think someone needs to see a Psychiatrist?

Sorry, but I will go with the Medical Doctor who has spent years doing the surgery over someone who who does a google search.

Ed February 13, 2012 at 8:39 am

I really cannot understand this heightism nonesence, I have heard of body dysmorphia where people become overly obsessed with their muscles, this honestly takes it to new heights. There are many sports which favour smaller men such as horseriding and motor sports to name a few. You could even include gymnastics. Hollywood certainly has no shortage of leading men with a shorter stature. Heightism is a relatively new phenomina and it is mostly a western one. I am very sure if you did some research on it you could find advantages of being shorter. I am 5”7 and very happy with my height.

Martin Hearne February 13, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I have to say this, but at this moment in time, you have only three choices: –
1. Accept yourself as you are.
2. Leg lengthening.

3. Reincarnation.

There is an old saying, there is no pain without gain, and everything comes at a price tag.
It is very unfortunate, but that is how society [especially the female variety] sets the criteria for the male race, where height is concerned. It has been like this for time immemorial and is unlikely to change in the future. Depending on how old and tall you are, you can only consider the first two options. The third one is through prayer, which I mentioned in my previous e-mails. The only other is to hope society changes its negative perspective of short people, and begins to accept them as equal, through prayer, which would be a miracle in itself.
But there again, people are so shallow these days, and only judge by outward appearances, and not see a person for what they really are.

At the end of the day, you are unique like myself, and if people do not like you, warts and all, well tough! Why try and change just to suit others? If you are a nice person, which is all that should really matter. That is what is going by my yardstick
Those are the kind of people you should seek out, and make you feel good about yourself.
Hope that may be of some comfort to you.


Michael February 13, 2012 at 6:20 pm


I do not understand why you are still going on about my choices when I know them very well and that is implicitly very clear from all my previous posts.

James February 14, 2012 at 9:58 am

About 5 years ago I briefly dated (about 3 dates) this very shallow female that was just trying to get money out of me. I noticed people are now talking about that leg lengthing operation. Now this stupid female kept ragging on me about my height even though I was 4 inches taller than her. She actually said well it’s your fault you’re short saying I could have gotten that leg legthening operation. Saying I have no one but myself to blame. Now I’m a high ranking person in the military. How in the hell I’m going to get a cosmetic operation that will land me in a wheel chair for 6 months and recovering an additional 6 months on top of that. We are at war right now, that would be worse than getting caught shooting yourself in the foot to keep from getting deployed. I tried to explain this to her but she did not get it. If I did that operation I would be dishonorably discharge, and all those years I put in will be down the drain. No sweet retirement money, I would lose everything. It’s not like she’s going to pay for the operation and take care of me. So why would this stupid bitch say this, because she’s an extreme heightest with issues. Ox already mentioned the other issues I would deal with on top of that. Plus I’m too old for that operation anyway.

Sonny Jergens February 14, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Fellas, fellas, FELLAS!!!

Leg lengthening surgery is risky, dangerous and it doesn’t guarantee a gain of more than two inches height increase. Doctors will always tell you it is NOT a dangerous procedure just to support their business and the money pool that is surgical medicine. They know it is. Don’t let them fool you. Some surgeons are in constant guinea pig mode and are eager to use their cutting tools on the operating room floor any chance they get. The recovery time for this surgery is a lot longer than what I’ve read here.

I recently saw a documentary about a Pakistani teenaged boy who stood 4’11 . He went for the surgery and is now 5’1. He was wheelchair-ridden for about 8 months which is the average recovery time, 6 months minimum for most people. On top of the extreme pain of every little movement of daily life, add the extreme pain of physiotherapy and the required exercises, DAILY. Also, the lesions at the point of insertion where the bones were broken need cleaning to avoid infection on the hour EVERY hour. Then comes the risks later on in life years after surgery with respect to bone age and vasculature. Blood flow and bone health is extremely important for men and women. It’s more serious as we age because our bones become more brittle and blood levels decrease. I can’t fathom how any man would ever consider putting himself through this type of operation just to gain favour with women? Guys, don’t be fooled! A heightist woman cannot change her spots unless she has a new found open door personality towards meeting men and withholds final judgement on him until she’s fully interacted with him. You know the types. The kind of woman that actually takes the time and makes a concerted effort to know a man beyond the surface, rather than pissing on him if he’s a few inches below her prefered height. Few women change, if any at all. In most cases she will still find someone taller, replace you in a moments notice and render you too short despite the suffering of your surgery and minimal height increase. I would honestly rather stay single and make myself a better person with what God gave me than appease the desires to be taller by stupid, ignorant, shallow, superficial, arrogant, heightist women.


Martin Hearne February 14, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Hi Sonny,

You are absolutely right about what you are saying. Why try and change, what cannot be changed, just to fit someone else’s criteria. We are all created unique, and have different strengths. Like you said, you are probably better off staying single and just stepping back to reflect on life. In doing so, you may find you can channel your energies in a different direction, etc through yoga, prayer and meditation, which is ideally suited to a single person.
So you see, everything has its compensations.
Hope that is of some comfort to you.

James February 14, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Sonny Jergens
Aman to everything you said. It’s not worh it for just 2 or 3 inches. Just to impress somebody who is shallow as hell. It’s not like other cosmetic surgery where the recovery time is less than two months and you are on pain meds the whole time. Also you’re not risking being handicap for the rest of your life if something goes wrong.

Britt February 15, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I’m currently dating a guy who is 4 inches shorter than me and it’s my first time with a shorter man. I’m not going to lie and say he didn’t have to work harder than other guys may have had to for my attention but I consider myself a very compassionate and open minded person.

While we were casually dating the height difference didn’t bother me, we were just hanging out and there was no public labeling, so it was pretty stress free, but when our relationship started to progress I found myself becoming increasingly concerned with the numbers.

I’m tall (5’8) for a girl and I’ve always been extremely self conscious about my height (never wearing heels, being happy about finding other tall girls to hang out with, etc.) until recently, so I still have lapses in judgment and get concerned with physical details sometimes, I’m a work in progress!

Anyway, we dated for about 10 months before I finally agreed to be his girlfriend and I could slap myself for waiting so long. He’s the most affectionate, attentive, loving partner I’ve had and I love him deeply; we have more in common than anyone I know and we often take the words from each other’s mouths and express the same random thoughts.

I feel comfortable going out with him, the whole ‘attractive girl needing to feel protected’ sentiment expressed earlier applies to me, so at first I was concerned with his height but he’s proven he can protect me and I feel safe around him even though I may be 6+ inches taller than him when I’m out in heels.
Like I said, I love him so much and he’s more than made up for any physical traits that may not be as desirable to me with his intangible qualities, but again, I’m still working on my own personal issues with height- not his but mine, so sometimes I do slip into a not so attractive mindset and daydream about how our wedding might be awkward or how our children may get his height and I’ll be the giant mom.. I hate that I can be like that over something so insignificant.

But all in all, I’m happy to be with him. I smile more than I ever have and who cares if he has to look up a bit to see it?

Sonny Jergens February 16, 2012 at 2:15 am

Hey Britt,

Excuse me? You made this guy wait 10 months just so you could figure out your feelings, AND if he was good enough to be exclusive to you? Did it take 10 months of test dates in public exposure for you to swallow the namecalling, snickers and short guy/tall girl insults? Shame, shame, shame! Just kidding!! Actually, no not really. More surprised and a bit disturbed that this guy waited that long for you. If you were the only girl I had my eye on and was dating you I would have never waited that long for you to decide if I’m qualified to be your boyfriend, quite honestly. He must think you are a really special girl and you just might be. Hope you don’t “know it” too much and it doesn’t get to your head if you know what I mean.

Good for you for wising up though. Now you just gotta grow up a little more, and rather quickly in the relationship if you want it to progress to something really special, IF he’s a genuinely good guy. There are assholes in the world tall and short alike. More importantly, I think you would want to do your best to minimize the damage control with each uncontrolling moment your “cavewoman” senses tell you the man you’re dating isn’t tall enough for you. Happiness matters first, remember. I’m actually surprised that you didn’t kick him to the curb knowing full well that he “had to work harder than other guys,” just to get your attention. We all know that women hate guys who try too hard. I guess he didn’t over do it pursuing you, or you might be a little less prejudiced than other women about measuring a man’s confidence by his height. Women do that all the time. Confidence has two different definitions measured by women in inches(and it’s not necessarily phallic LOL). One for short guys, one for tall guys. Short guys with a smidget of confidence and short guys with tons of confidence walk the same paper thin line that holds extremes on both sides. You’re either seen as a wimp or as Napoleanic. Nothing positive, just bad on both ends. Not quite the same for tall guys though. Isn’t it. In fact the more inches he has in height, the less confidence he really needs. Women will sacrifice confidence in a tall guy even if he’s an ugly bastard physically or the wussiest of wusses mentally. Doesn’t even matter if he’s the greatest combination of both wuss and ugly. It’s not uncommon for a woman to sacrifice the more important features such as man’s intelligence, ambition, fitness and character with each inch he presents in height.

The best thing you can do is be true to yourself and to him. Don’t break his heart by pretending to not be bothered about his height if you still are. The longer it goes with the uncertainties is the worst for the both of you. If him being shorter than you is still your problem but you know it’s something you can fix, FIX IT. There’s no time better than NOW. Shucks girlfriend, you’re already daydreaming about marrying the guy so get the cavewoman crap outta your head quick and keep it out. If you let it bother you, you just might lose out on the best thing to ever happen to you.

Sonny Jergens February 16, 2012 at 3:20 am

James and Martin,

Thank you for the compliments. I ain’t the short guy health and wellness height prophet LMAO! But thanx! Anything to help and alert other short brothers of the world to the discrimination and fourth class treatment that short men endure.

There are short guys in this world just like tall guys who have the so called game, skills, tactics, tools, vibes, whatever methods that bring success with women. Whatever the level, and it’s not always about gettin’ down and dirty. A guy once told me it’s all about separating the chicks who really need to talk to you and finding the chicks that need you as a good phuq buddy. The hope is that you settle down with one quality woman who makes you not want anymore “booty” call girls meanwhile giving you the best and deepest conversations. Women want and live for good casual sex just as much as guys do. They just don’t want to admit to wanting it as much and for having a physical preference heightwise in both casual sex mates and potential boyfriend/husband/father guys.
I always say the most fun girls are the ones who are straight up, know what they want, aren’t selfish and dare to be a little different. She’s not turned on by his height, she’s turned on by HIM.

All we can do is educate and orchestrate fairness and justice for everyone. I’m a short guy and a man like any man in this world who has worked, fought, protected and earned the title of being called a MAN. Same thing goes for a woman who has earned her title. I love, respect and cherish smart young girls who become powerful WOMEN and great leaders. I fear for those young girls who don’t grow up and continue making relationships based on one trait a guy either has or hasn’t. Some stay single, forever lonely, holding out hope that a tall, dark and handsome will ask her out and marry her so the short guys will leave her alone. Other just pass on their bigoted beliefs to their daughters and their best girlfriends’ daughters.

David February 16, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Height is something humans have no control over. So why people are so judgemental over height is beyond me. A good looking guy can immediately be considered unattractive if he does not meet certain height requirements. It seems like for a lot of women it doesn’t matter how short they are but their mate better be atleast 6foot. She says so what if I’m only 4ft 10in, my man better be at least 6foot. So the short dude can’t just fix the problem by only going for women that are real short because he still has to be 6 foot, no matter what. That’s what’s so confusing at first for a lot of young dudes that are short so they only hit on women that are much shorter than them thinking that resolves the height issue but the guy’s height is still an issue. So you can’t win. There isn’t a shortage of real short women out there, there are plenty of them, but if all of the real short women are only going for tall men, you are SOL.

Martin Hearne February 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm

In answer to your question about height, when I started with the council nearly 30 years ago, the average height for a young male adult [About 21- 25 years of age] was about five eight, [Working class people tend to be shorter] now it is five eleven, so the average height has increased by an inch each decade. I was not considered short at that time, but would be now. I am about five seven by the way, and may be starting to shrink now! At that rate it will peak at six two by 2040, which is about the optimum height. A good reason people are getting taller, could be down to natural selection, rather than diet and environment. Women are choosier now, which in effect will produce a taller and healthier offspring. I know this smacks of eugenics, but not to the same extent Hitler tried it with his own people in the thirties, but it is heading in that direction. You have only to look at designer babies. Anybody that is not up to the specifications is screened out before they are born and possibly aborted. That will probably apply to someone who has short genes. Another example: – How many young males are about my height or shorter? The answer would be very few; they are as rare as hen’s teeth. Another example of short people becoming a dying breed, is child actors being selected to play the role of a dwarf, in Snow White and the seven dwarves, because in time it will get increasing difficult to find disabled and short people to play the part, because of what I have mentioned before. To be a young male of my height would carry a much greater stigma, than to someone 30 years older like myself. Hope that is the answer you are looking for.


Martin Hearne February 17, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Hi Britt,

I had an aunt and uncle of very similar heights, the daughter was an inch shorter than the mum, and the other two sons, an inch and four inches taller respectively, which is perfectly normal, so I would not worry too much, as in most cases the son inherits a mother’s height and the daughter, between the two parents. Height does not matter as much to a girl, as to a boy. You have only got to look at George Best [Famous footballer], he was not tall, and his model of a wife. They produced a fine model of a son [Six feet two], with his mother’s looks.
So go ahead if you want children, and if you do, I wish them all the best of health, when they come into the world.

David February 18, 2012 at 12:49 am

Thanks Martin,
I’m older in my late 40′s and when I was young from what I remembered it wasn’t that big of a deal being 5ft 7in , as long as you had a muscular build but I noticed with what my sons and nephews have to put up with, being under 5ft 9in is now a big deal in a real negative way. Like you said Martin, kids are simply getting taller and if you’re male and only if you’re male you HAVE TO have at least one parent taller than average, so you have a good chance of being close to 6 foot. It’s almost a requirement now. My nephew actually said he wouldn’t want to have a kid with a short woman, two short parents would equal a male child that will become a short adult. He said he does not want his sons to go through the shit he has go through. Is this is what we are coming to? It’s so sad. Short women already have been doing this for decades. Now will short men start to stoop to the level of the short female, choosing their mate based on how tall they will make their offspring? Height discrimation toward males is real and a fact of life. You have to prepare your sons to deal with the discrimination, myths and in some cases down right hostility from ignorant people.

Sonny Jergens February 18, 2012 at 4:19 am

Interesting how society allows short women to freely discriminate against guys barely an inch or two taller than them. When I’m talking short women it’s the ladies 5’2 and under. Most people consider average height for women 5’3 – 5’6. Tall for a woman IMO is 5’7 to 5’11. The super tall ladies are the ones in excess of 6’0 barefoot. It’s not always true about the two short parents producing short children theory. It’s more common when the family history and relatives are short. A tall man/short woman couple can still produce short children. I’ve seen families like this. On the other hand I’ve seen familes where both parents under 5’6 produced children a couple inches taller than them. Still, a short guy has a much better chance of producing taller children by mating with a taller woman. The chances greatly improve if she’s several inches taller than him. The mother’s genes are said to be the strongest determining influence of the adult height of the children. I don’t blame some short guys who strictly date taller women. If these guys are like me who’ve got the shaft from short women in the past, you’re brain tells you not to limit yourself. I’ve always found taller women pretty and sexy to begin with and I never made my choices in women in order to fit into peer groups. Not every couple wears the same costume to the party.

I don’t have problems with ladies who choose men by height first and last. Haven’t for a long time. They are mostly the hot short girly types who seem to get the majority of the male attention. Some taller ladies who are just as pretty may argue that they get as much, if not more attention than shorter women. Whatever height she is, these types of ladies rely heavily on their looks for nearly everything. They are always more into themselves, have way less character and they make the man work extra hard to impress. They are a bore gentleman. Why put value into a woman who doesn’t value the finer senses of a man. Height doesn’t measure taste, touch, smell, or his sound. It’s just sight alone. She’s not worth the trouble even if she’s head-to-toe fine. Lovely and pretty to look and maybe worth spank bank material, but not worth pursuing in the long run. Not worth getting in a scrap either, even if you think you can take the tall guy out. Automatically she cuts out the short guys who do work harder for her attention. It’s always the easiest “out” excuse against him. He’s trying too hard. That’s a turn off. Only a handful of women appreciate the short guy who’s got the guts to not let a taller guy get in the way of his pursuit of her.

When my height is used as the measuring stick of the content of my character, my level of intelligence or the depth of my manhood, it does piss me off. Not so much anymore because growing older means I have less time to worry about the simple minded ilk. There are amazing women in this world, tall and short who don’t judge men on height. Many of them just as beautiful as the ones with the attitudes and crazy beliefs against shorter guys. I love to share myself with these confident, brave, sexy women. Contrary to some guys, I don’t mind if a woman has a fetish for a certain type of body size, height, weight and overall look in a man. Whatever honestly floats your boat you should go with, but you shouldn’t just limit yourself to the physical. It’s abusive and unfair when the word “creep” is attached to fetish and applied to shorter guys who have the same sexually functioning demographics as tall men. I don’t really agree with the negative associations of the word itself but I do think people take it way out of context to hide dangerous practices that hurt others. Fetishes are and should be another way of comfortably expressing personal sexual behaviour and desire in another person as long as the pleasure is mutual. Everyone is different. People aren’t turned on by the same things. All the better to go after women with the most open and honest of hearts. The hope is that a person has one quality in their entire physique that makes you get curious and crazy about the rest of them. I always try to be open with everyone and allow myself to be stimulated by a persons mind besides the body.

David February 18, 2012 at 10:14 am

Thanks for your comments. They said they have noticed the taller women tend to be more likely to give them the time of day. The short “so-called hot” ones will not even speak to them as though they are sub human. The taller women will at least speak to them, which is a start.

Martin Hearne February 18, 2012 at 3:54 pm

You are right about height discrimination. I experienced it in the workplace, and at school, although I was not aware about not being very tall, till I was about 21 years of age. I found people apply it in a subtle way, like trying to marginalize you, and leave you out of things. Some tend to form their own cliques, with people around their own height, and form hierarchies. No matter how hard you try to fit in, you could never be one of the boys, so to speak. I was hardly bullied in a physical sense, but felt intimidated. You do have to work a lot harder to overcome these things. Over my life, I have found such experiences character building, and developed some aspects of my personality, which I would not have developed, if I had been a tall person, and can emphasize more with people in a similar plight.

Have a look at Karma/reincarnation, and Cause and effect.
Hope that is of some help to you

James February 19, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Interesting if you look at it this way. The lady who is only 4ft 10 having a problem with a guy being 5ft 9 is funny. He is 11 inches taller. That’s like a woman who is 5ft 6 saying a man 6ft 5 is too short for her because he is 11 inches taller than her. But tall men don’t deal with that at all. I think that sort of thing is what annoys short men more than anything else.

Trevor February 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm

I found this whole thread to be a really good read–I read every comment. I want to thank everyone for sharing their obstacles, and some stories really made me empathize for some of my fellow short guys that are suffering. I wish I could give you all a pat on the back, and buy you a beer.

The thing that outrages me the most about the whole thing is actually the overall state of values in this country. I wish I could speak to other countries–I can only assume they are better than the U.S and I pray that they are. I am old-fashioned I know. The fact that love is not even a factor in this discussion is truly puzzling. I dont think love was even mentioned once so far although in minor ways it was(some stories about being happy with one’s partner). The fact that SHOES is even MENTIONED–I just can’t even find the words to express my utter bewilderment. Doesn’t anyone wanna be happy?? Doesn’t anyone want love anymore??

And I can’t help but feel more and more sexist which I hate to let happen but really…my impression of women just gets worse and worse. You need to look good next to your boyfriend?? You need to be protected from what?? How often do you think you are going to be assaulted?? I just dont understand a single thing that goes through a woman’s head. And why is confidence an absolute necessity? I dont get it. I would like a shy girl just as much as one who is not shy. Why does being shy make you worthless? And whyyyyyyy do men have to do ALL the work?? Okay I’m done. If anyone can help me with becoming more sexist, I would appreciate it. I get less patient by the minute.

James February 20, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Thanks for joining the conversation. That whole self confidence thing is all bullshit anyway. Because it’s subjective. It’s base on how you are perceived by the individual observing you. Some people think i’m very confident and others do not. It depends on who you ask. Everbody has an opinion, because everybody sees things atleast little differently than the next person . I agree a shy girl is just as sexy as someone who’s not shy at all, because it’s her appearence you’re looking at. If something other than looks will make a woman more attractive or less attractive it would be how nice of a person she is. Confident bitchy woman is not attractive at all, A woman who is just plain arrogant is also ugly to me, I don’t care how good she looks. Arrogance should be a red flag for women but for some strange reason it’s not. A woman would go for an arrogant jerk in a heart beat, they confuse arrogance with confidence.

Ed February 21, 2012 at 9:23 am

I think the issue of heightism appears to be both a generational issue and a cultural one. India and China, two of the world’s most populous nations probably have an average male height that would equate to 5”6 at a guess. How a taller Western generation can be deemed as being more healthy beats me. Several studies have clearly found that this generation, while taller are significantly weaker physically, due to sedentary lifestyle.

Paul February 28, 2012 at 8:37 pm

I couldn’t resists joining in here (despite it being nearly 2 o clock in the morning), I’ve been reading all these comments and I’m fascinated with these stories and opinions.
I agree with a lot of Trevor’s points – shy people are people too, and would you seriously base your relationship on shoes? Hunks of plastic you use to walk through dirt in? What *has* happened to love, these days? It’s all about physicalities.
At 5’8” (and a Brit, not an American), I suppose I don’t have much room to complain, as I am about as tall as you can get while still being classified as short, but it still really bothers me. I have three male cousins, one *six* years younger (he’s just hit puberty) and all three are now taller than me, two of them by a good half a foot.
I am at university/college, and on my entire course of around 50 people, only 2 of the boys are smaller than me. Meanwhile a good 5 or 6 of the girls are taller than me, and they include some of the most attractive ladies on the course.
But at this age, I’m not particularly voracious when it comes to dating; I’m Mr. Friend Zone and right now, I’m fine with that. I believe that will change when the time (and the woman) is right.
However, I didn’t realise the heightist discrimination was quite this bad! Some of these stories sound truly spiteful and crushing, I admire short(er) men for coping with all that prejudice.
It’s reassuring to see that not all women are shallow and picky – I’m gonna wait for one of them to come along, and then sweep her off her feet to make sure she feels feminine!

Martin Hearne March 1, 2012 at 12:25 pm


You did not mention how old you are. Five feet eight is not too bad, if you are in your thirties or forties. Just think of the advantage you have over people of five seven and five six etc, which there are plenty of. You did mention two of the boys being shorter than you, so you see you will always find someone worse off than yourself, true you will find the majority better off than you, but by trying to empathise with the latter, you will not be judging yourself too harshly. We make choices when we come into the world, by choosing our parents, which determine our genetics that greatly influence our final height, even though in most cases we do not remember our past lives. Life is a challenge, and 70 to 80 years, it is not possible for the majority of us to achieve everything that you desire in such a short time span. I am sure if you strongly desire being taller, you will achieve it possibly in your next life.

Have a look at Karma/reincarnation, and Cause and effect.

Hope that is of some help to you.


Paul March 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm


Thank you for the reply – you’re right, I’ve just realised I forgot to mention my age haha. I’m 19, so no more growing for me by the look of it. My dad is two inches taller, and my mum two inches shorter, so I suppose I’m about right considering that.
And yes, I do empathise with the other short blokes on the course, but they seem fine with it, which of course they should be. After all, outside of dating, being short doesn’t have any negative impact on your life.

And thank you for the link, this looks interesting!


Martin Hearne March 1, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Hi Paul,

Now you mentioned your age, it is still possible you may grow at least aanother couple of inches. At 19 I was only just over five five, I am now about five seven, which I reached at twenty-one. Considering your parents height, there is a possiblity you may be taller than that, so please try and stay positive.


James March 2, 2012 at 9:34 am

Hey Paul you may not have a problem at all. Now you say you’re 5ft 8in, I’m assuming that’s bare foot..right? Since you’re 19, you may grow another 2 or 3 inches. Now as humans its not much you can do about it another than wearing “lifts” in your shoes. Some people think eating real healthy will make you grow taller during your growing years. I ate healthy and took vitamins through out my teen years on up to age 21 but still only grew to 5ft 6in. You will only grow to your “potential height” but your potential height might be “5ft 10in” or even taller. Just see what happens between now and until you reach age 21.

Paul March 2, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Martin and James,

Thanks for the optimism, it’s good to know there’s still a chance of getting a couple more inches! I thought for sure I was done. The thing with me is I have short legs – sitting down I’m average-sized, then I stand up and suddenly I’m down by people’s shoulders. But I’d be more than happy with just two inches, 5’10′ is the average so that would be just right. I’ll keep hoping and see what happens!

Funnily enough, as I write this I have a huge cut on my ankle from wearing my ‘fancy shoes’ for a job interview – they might make me taller, but my feet don’t thank me for it haha!

Thanks again guys, take care!

Michelle March 13, 2012 at 1:26 am

I just stumbled across this article, but as a 5’4 woman who is attracted to and has dated several shorter men, I have to chime in. I’ve NEVER understood when female friends of mine would recite their list of “rules” – that they would only date guys at least 2 inches taller, etc. I guess I’m slightly unconventional, but I’ve always been more attracted to unique types with strong personalities, and while physique certainly plays a role, I’ve never evaluated a guy’s height in figuring out if I was attracted to him (attraction happens almost immediately).

I’m 32 now, am technically closer to 5’3 without shoes , and 5’5/5’6 with heels on. My first boyfriend in high school was the short and stocky type – about 5’4, a drummer – and not someone who most people would consider ‘hot,’ but he had a great body. In the last 5 years, I’ve dated two shorter guys (5’5 and 5’3, respectively), and once again, height was never an issue. They mentioned it much more than I did, in almost a self-deprecating way, because of previous experiences with women who I guess had shot them down because of their height.

I should also mention that I briefly dated a lawyer last summer who was 6’3, and after college, had a boyfriend who was around 5’10. So I’ve dated across the spectrum. I understand where women are coming from when they mention feeling “protected” by a guy who is taller. But ultimately, I want to spend time with someone who’s into me, can make great conversation, and enjoys my company. I could care less if could play power forward on a basketball team.

*** To the guy who was contemplating “leg lengthening” surgery, PLEASE don’t do that. I can understand where you’re coming from, believe me – as a woman who is attractive but frets about things like not having a strong enough chin, perfect hair, etc. – but you do not need to “reinvent” yourself to attract someone. Find someone who will love you for who you are. I think the pain of explaining how you got the scars and dropped $100k on the procedure will outweigh any potential benefit.

Finally, to echo what a few of the women posters have said, height doesn’t add ANYTHING to one’s experience in bed. My most intense experiences were with one of the aforementioned lovers (5’3). The guys on the taller side tended to be gangly, too full of themselves, and not as attentive. There is nothing more perfect than two people who “fit” together!

Michelle March 13, 2012 at 1:32 am

I forgot to add that I currently have a crush on a guy who is 5’1 and several years younger. He doesn’t know and I’m not sure I’ll ever tell him, but in addition to the fact that he’s passionate about what he does and entertaining, my initial attraction to him was purely physical. There was something about his “vibe” and the way he carried himself, although to many I suppose he could be considered the “bookish” type who typically ends up in the friend-zone.

James March 20, 2012 at 8:20 am

Michelle, you sound like an awesome person. Now that dude who’s 5ft 1in, just let him know you’re intrested, he’s not a mind reader. If it stays in the friends zone it’s because you decided that. But keep being the good open minded person you are.

Guinevere March 21, 2012 at 9:33 pm

I am a 5’10″ woman who adores a man that is likely 5’5″ or less. He is handsome, funny, incredibly smart and creative. I always assumed it was more of an issue for the guy than me, being all intimidated and such… Would love that not to be the case. It is far more about how you make a woman feel about themselves than your height, at least for me. I’d do my fella in a heartbeat… Crazy about him as I think he is about me. I do worry that the “oddness” of our pairing to other people will be an issue. Thoughts?

Ox March 21, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I wanted to say one other thing to the guy thinking about that ridiculously dangerous leg-lengthening surgery. You’re doing it for the girl(s) right?

What happens when a girl is really into you and asks about all the scars on your legs?

You’re going to have to tell her eventually and you know what will happen? She’ll lose all respect for you. She may not show it but I assure you she will.

Seriously man, that is the worst possible thing to do. Don’t ruin your body for some stupid broad. Even if you could add 3 inches you’re still going to be short.

You need to build up your confidence. That surgery is just going to make your life painful and miserable. Please talk to a Psychiatrist and put that surgery out of your head. It is the worst possible thing you can possibly do.

Ox (5’4″ American Male)

Michael March 22, 2012 at 5:44 am

Leg lengthening is not just about women. No way. It is about getting respect from people, some amount of decent treatment. Shorter men get paid smaller salaries so the it will help pay for itself.

The kicker of leg lengthening is you are right, many women will lose respect for him if he had the leg lengthening surgery to be two inches taller because height is truly that important to them. Height is so important the woman will feel blind sided because even though he would be the exact same person other wise.

I don’t know why people keep bringing up psychiatrists. That is incredibly condescending and rude.

Ox March 22, 2012 at 11:25 am

Forget the money. You are considering an extremely risky surgery, probably illegal in the United States, which may very well put you in a wheelchair for the rest of your life (or worse). That is why I am suggesting you talk to a Psychiatrist.

Trevor March 22, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I have considered seeing a psychiatrist to help me not think about my height so much, and not be bothered by it. I’m used to the idea of it tho because I’ve had depression since I was a teenager. Which is not related at all to being short. But psychiatrists shouldn’t bring on a feeling of insult.

This is for Michael, or whomever…not necessarily you Michael…
You don’t talk to anyone about how much your height bothers you right? Well, the psychiatrist is simply someone to talk to about it–what is so insulting or strange about that? It’s just a shame we have to pay a lot of money to talk to someone about it!

Michael March 22, 2012 at 4:31 pm


When you say
“You are considering an extremely risky surgery, probably illegal in the United States”

You have just proved you have no idea what you are talking about. This is a 100% completely legal medical procedure and two of the best Doctors in the world are Americans. You should learn about the topic you are talking about before spouting off nonsense

Also when you say
“which may very well put you in a wheelchair for the rest of your life (or worse).”

There has not been one documented case in the U.S. of anyone being wheelchair bound for life. I don’t know what you mean when you say “or worse” but if you would provide specifics I would gladly debunk your made up claims. You see unlike you who falsely believes leg lengthening is illegal in the U.S. I know that it is legal.

The idea that you have such strong opinions on a topic you obviously know next to nothing about indicates your attitude. For you to tell someone they need to see a psychiatrist is incredibly rude, pathetic, condescending and wrong. You truly have some nerve if you feel like you have the right to tell me how to live my life.

Ox March 22, 2012 at 7:24 pm

People have died from cosmetic surgeries. What you’re proposing is far more dangerous and extreme.

You have me all wrong. I am not trying to tell you anything. It’s your life. Frankly, I feel sorry for you (and I’m sure I’m not alone on this board). You are so adamant on getting this surgery you have completely lost grip of the big picture. You wrote “It is about getting respect from people, some amount of decent treatment”. Do you think that after the surgery you’re suddenly going to get the respect you’re looking for?

The reason you are not getting the respect you desire is because you lack confidence. It has nothing to do with your height. Plenty of short men are extremely successful (in all aspects of life).

The reason I suggest you see a doctor is because your are probably extremely depressed. The surgery is not going to fix this. You need to examine yourself from the inside out (not the other way around). If your confidence and self-image improves you will see how utterly preposterous of an idea the surgery is.

I’m probably shorter than you (5’4″) and have been able to overcome all challenges (regardless of height). There is no reason you can’t do the same.

Michael March 22, 2012 at 7:42 pm

“People have died from cosmetic surgeries. What you’re proposing is far more dangerous and extreme.”

Except to my knowledge there has been no cases of death from leg lengthening. At least not at the practice of the M.D. who I have met with. Are you calling the Medical Doctor who I met a liar? Do you have an M.D.? Are you an Orthopedic Surgeon?

“You have me all wrong. I am not trying to tell you anything. It’s your life. Frankly, I feel sorry for you (and I’m sure I’m not alone on this board). You are so adamant on getting this surgery you have completely lost grip of the big picture. You wrote “It is about getting respect from people, some amount of decent treatment”. Do you think that after the surgery you’re suddenly going to get the respect you’re looking for?”

I have communicated with people who have had leg lengthening and they have stated the change in their life is profound. When short men are paid less money for no reason other than being short that is a sign of disrespect. When I can’t even get the proper safety gear I need at the laboratory I work at while it is readily available for the taller staff that is a sign of disrespect.

“The reason you are not getting the respect you desire is because you lack confidence. It has nothing to do with your height. Plenty of short men are extremely successful (in all aspects of life).

Wrong. The reason due to the lack of respect is height. I wouldn’t have women calling me half a man in public meetings if there was respect there. Confidence has nothing to do with it, remember, a confident short man is also known as “short man syndrome” so be careful with that

“The reason I suggest you see a doctor is because your are probably extremely depressed. The surgery is not going to fix this. You need to examine yourself from the inside out (not the other way around). If your confidence and self-image improves you will see how utterly preposterous of an idea the surgery is.”

Wrong. For you to try to psychoanalyze someone you have not met online is wrong and immoral. You truly have some nerve trying to do that. Do you know how difficult it is to get accepted into being a patient for leg lengthening? You have to go through a full psychological evaluation to ensure you are not depressed, unsound, etc and to make sure you could handle the procedure. Guess what? I was found completely sound and was approved. Do you think you know better than a Psychologist? One of the few in the country is approves patients for leg lengthening? You don’t and you aren’t

“I’m probably shorter than you (5’4?) and have been able to overcome all challenges (regardless of height). There is no reason you can’t do the same.”

If you want a more difficult life that is ok.
You have some nerve trying to tell people they need to see a Psychiatrist. You have some nerve telling people they are probably extremely depressed. You feel like you are qualified for that but the actual professionals aren’t?

Ox March 22, 2012 at 8:32 pm

You have complete tunnel vision. You are not being rational. Two more words and then I’m done. Tom Cruise.

Michael March 22, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I’m not being rationale? So says the person who stated leg lengthening was probably illegal in the U.S. indicating no knowledge of the medical procedure what-so-ever.

You thought leg lengthening was illegal, and you were wrong
You indicate you thought people have died from it, and to my knowledge you are wrong. I bet you don’t even know the names of the Orthopedic Surgeons who perform the surgery in the U.S. You are trying to convince me to buy into your opinion on a topic you clearly know very little about. Yet you claim I am not being rational because I don’t buy your argument? Sorry

Also Tom Cruise is an irrelevant two words in this conversation. Over 5’7″ he is not that short, just below average.

SonnyJergens March 23, 2012 at 11:54 am


I understand where you are coming. Totally.

I’m a short guy who’s experienced enough ill-treatment and hate from both shorter women and taller women. Guys aren’t as bad, but you do get those taller idiots who immediately think they’re better than you. Whether it was in school, the workplace, the gym, the shopping mall, sporting events, concerts, I’ve heard my share of the snickers and insults. Enough to make me take a long extended absence from the world of women and relationships. I’m not completely devoid of the dating life. I just let women who are interested in me take the initiative and make a definitive move. It’s her loss if she doesn’t. That’s my philosophy. I don’t waste time putting the effort into the mating games or chasing the “play hard to get” types. Not anymore. People talk about the chase being better than the catch? Well for a short guy, it’s not often a pleasant road. The chase is often frought with roadblocks and deep potholes along the way. Dead ends are very common. The road is paved alot better for tall guys though. It’s a practically an Autobaun with infinite lanes of women to choose from.

Despite all the BS that I’ve dealt with, not once have I ever considered going under the knife just to gain a couple inches in height. I’ve posted here previously about this surgery. The pain is beyond excrutiating. The risks for bone diseases and vascular problems in the legs is moderate, not minimal. The threat gets more severe later on in life. More importantly,on a social level I don’t know if I could face the people who’ve known me for years as I am if I came back a slightly taller man. All it would do is perpetuate my insecurities and lack of self confidence. So you go from 5’7 to 5’9 or 5’9.5? What’s gonna happen when the next girl tells you that you’re still not tall enough? Go under the knife again and experience the months of pain and suffering for another inch? Haven’t you suffered enough? It’s not worth it to me, but if it’s worth it to you and will make you a better man, be prepared for the pain and enjoy the gain.


No disrespect to you, but you don’t walk in Michael’s shoes. You may be trying to help him with your words and experience, but you really can’t speak for how he feels. You can’t say he’s depressed either, even though he might be. Some people say the same thing about me when they ask me how come I’m not married or have a girlfriend or kids and all that stuff. Some married people conclude that my life must be filled with depression because I don’t have what they have which in reality is beyond stupid. I tell them that my happiness does not entail the need for me to have a woman involved in it at every second. Nor does it involve having kids. It would be cool to have my own children but I don’t ever sweat the thought of not being a father. When I start talking about the growing number of unwanted children on the streets, kids in group homes and child assistance programs, and broken families from divorces or separations, these happy couples quickly change their tone and some even re-evaluate their own relationships after talking to me. When you’ve been judged by your height and avoided by women for so many years, you learn to appreciate other finer things in life besides them if you allow your mind to do so. If you let rejection bother you, it clouds your judgment of everything else in life where acceptance is important.

Michael March 23, 2012 at 5:48 pm

I do not understand why people have been trying to tell me risks, whether they are true or false, about leg lengthening. I have been tracking the procedure for a few years now. I have spoken directly with professionals in the field, which none of you are. No offense to anyone here but I have likely taken many more steps into finding out more about leg lengthening, the various techniques, the risks, the Doctors who are legitimate, the Doctors who are not than anyone here.

I will say it again and if someone attempts to demean and belittle me again like Ox I will repeat it. Anyone who wants leg lengthening in the U.S. has to undergo a psychological evaluation to ensure they can mentally handle the procedure. This is not teeth whitening, tummy tucking, etc. They don’t just allow anyone to have this procedure.

SonnyJergens March 23, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Not trying to demean or insult you Michael. I tried to support you and I’m sorry if I came across the wrong way. Calm down a bit please.

I’ve researched and worked in the medical field for years. Don’t conclude that NONE of us have spoken to professionals regarding this procedure when some people actually have. Maybe not as aggressively or dilligently as you. How do you know that you’ve taken more steps than me? I’m not here to compare steps or dissuade you from this medical decision. All I’m saying from my research is that this surgery is very painful and the recovery process is long and arduous. If it’s worth the gain for you, that’s great. Go for it. Just be prepared to be in a wheelchair for a minimum of 6 months. The average is usually 8 to 10 months before any kind of weight pressure can be put on the legs.

The risks associated with vasculature is very serious according to surgeons, residents and other operating room physicians. Like any surgery where bone tissue is broken, there are nerve damage risks.
However, if gaining up to two inches in height makes you a more confident person and betters your life, I see no reason why you shouldn’t do what you need to do to feel better about yourself.

You’re damn right that this stuff is not teeth whitening or any kind of superficial cosmetic procedure that is rampant in Hollywood. This procedure involves breaking the legs, inserting pins and letting them heal with the existing bone and cartilage tissues.

Good luck.

Michael March 23, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Sorry Sonny I was referencing Ox again. I was referencing his lack of knowledge due to the fact that he falsely concluded leg lengthening is “probably illegal” in the U.S. Such a simple fact should be known.

Lets just say if I had the money I could schedule my appoint to begin leg lengthening today and begin tomorrow.

|-|4| March 30, 2012 at 6:18 pm

I’m 13 years old, I’m 5 feet tall, and I date a guy who is 4 foot 5. I think boys (and girls for that matter.) should be judged by their smiles. A nice smile probably means he (or she.) is a good kisser. Not that you should date an arse, just ’cause he smiles prettily, but if they are a genuinely nice person, it shouldn’t matter. Tall guys can get cocky, and honestly, I generaly go for guys who feel good about themselves, and don’t worry about public image.

James April 1, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Guys please let’s not argue with each other ober this leg lengthing surgery. I personally would not do it just to impress some very ignorant shallow female. Being 5ft 9in is alot better than being 5ft 6in but you’re still not 6 foot. If this operation could make me 6ft 5in then it may be worth it. But I still would have second thoughts about it. Bottom line is you don’t need to be trying to impress shallow women. Especially the ones who are alway claiming men are shallow. It makes me rolls my eyes when I hear women say men are shollow. If the average woman wants to see someone who is shallow they need to just look in the mirror.

Michael April 2, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I do not like arguing over about this topic. If most don’t want to spend tens of thousands of dollars to be taller that is understandable, but so is the other viewpoint. But when people lie and try to say that I am “severely depressed”, when people try to tell me I need to see a psychiatrist, when people indicate they have no knowledge on the topic at all by saying it is “probably illegal”, then I have little choice but to call them out. I will not let lies run rampant over leg lengthening.

James April 2, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Well I understand what you are saying Michael, people do try to play pychiatrist sometimes. But I think all he was doing was something like “tough love” trying to show you how impractical the surgery is. It’s a very drastic surgery and it is not realistic for a lot of people. Me I would get dishonorably discharge from the military if I got that surgery done. It would fall under shooting yourself in the foot to keep from getting deployed. I would be handicap for a while after surgery longer than shooting yourself in the foot. And I am not going to throw away 20 years of service to impress anyone shallow. I have a good woman who is 5ft 8in and doesn’t see me as short because she looks at the whole person, which shallow people do not do. I agree when women get breast inplants, and all sorts of cosmestic surgery, no one would think less of them and they would definately not say they need to see a psychiatrist because of it.
But when a dude gets cosmestic surgery somehow he is suppose to lack confidence in himself which also supposed to mean he is a no good person in some kind of weird way. So basicly society in general are harder on short males, more so than even over weight women. When a fat woman gets gastric bypass surgery and as a result loses a lot of weight people will applaud her. Good luck on that happening for the short males that gets his legs lengthen. It will never happen, not in a million years. People will just laugh and say he lacks confidence in himself or say the surgery may cure his short man syndrome. By the way being fat is a choice, being short is not. Also it is sad that men in general tall and short who respect women the most, young women tend to respect those men the least.

James April 2, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Also don’t get me wrong even if I was not in the military and younger I still wouldn’t get that surgery. If you feel it’s the best thing for you, go for it, it’s your life. If women can get cosmetic surgery and not be judge negatively by society it should be the same for men.

Michael April 2, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Of course losing weight has many health benefits, a family member of mine had surgery because she was over weight. Now I understand what your saying, but if anyone can put up with ridicules for getting surgery, it is a short man. Plus how many people would even know? Besides a few family members unless someone advertised it no one would know unless they told them. In many careers height is important, especially for businessmen and lawyers.

The only reason it is not practical is the cost. Hundreds of people have had leg lengthening in the U.S. In China thousands more have had it. In fact over in China there are height restrictions on certain jobs. Sure people will say that a short man lacks confidence, but remember what else a short man with confidence is known as? “Short man syndrome”

Martin Hearne April 3, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Martin Hearne

I have a website that may be of some interest:-


It was about a man that stopped growing, than a few years later restarted.
Rather than go through painful leg lengthening, there must be a way of triggering that tiny gland in the brain, to produce growth hormones, when you have finished growing, irrespective of age. That person mentioned, must have triggered it by accident, but was unable to switch it off, when he reached normal height.
I am sure in time to come, miracles like that could happen, so please do not lose hope, because I am sure more research could be done.

L April 5, 2012 at 4:59 am

I am one of the shorter women at 5’1- and yes, my choice is bigger. However, for me it’s not so much about height as it is about self-confidence. Short guys who hit on me in the past have come across as desperate, needy, and vulnerable in their sloppy attire, posture, and the way they spoke. That was the biggest turn off ever. For one guy, he constantly hunched over (making him seem even shorter still). He really offended me too, as his repeated complaints about lack of an ability to find a girlfriend who would accept his height, made me think I was a last resort when he asked me out (to which I was absolutely horrified and shell-shocked as we did not mesh well either imo). I do have someone I like who’s my height right now- and the reason is for his confidence, self-assurance, and he takes pride in himself. Having the right attitude really trumps height for me. I mean, how can I be proud to be with someone who can’t even be proud of/comfortable with them-self? Seriously. Avoid the surgeries. Don’t cave in to fulfilling the stereotypical tall male. Instead, build up confidence in being yourself. That matters so much more to woman I believe.

James April 7, 2012 at 3:07 pm

you sound like a much younger person. You will realize all of those young men you ASSUMED lack confidence in themselves really did not. Because someones states facts does not mean they lack confidence in themselves. Fat women do it all the time, they will say it’s tougher finding someone that is in to big women. They are just merely stating a fact, it does not mean they are desperate, needy or have low self esteem. You seems to be one of those people that ASSUMES a lot based on very little information. You used strong words like “horrified” and “shellshock” after you made your ASSUMPTION. Do you lack self esteem? Have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist??? Also just because you THINK someone is confident does not mean they are confident and it also does not mean he a good person. Character and confidense are two seperate things. I would always tell my kids once they reach their teen years to avoid young women who think character and confidence is one in the same. You mention clothes, not everybody dresses in fashion 24/7. I know young women are OBESSSED with fashion but you may want to chill on that requirement if you ever become single again. I’m not sure if it’s just me but if I was that critical of women that approached me, I would feel like a real asshole. I don’t think I can be critical of someone I just met or judge someone that quickly. but I guess it’s OK for women.

Nancy April 15, 2012 at 4:10 am

Technically just finishing a anthropology class I find out my red hair was caused by a mutated gene. I learned alot about how my adrenal gland works different. My whole life I knew I was different and far too sensitive. I’m 5’7 and 3/4. I think short guys are down right adorable and big guys scare the hell out of me. I’ve had to do alot of adjusting due to fair skin and far too much on the recieving end of sensing others vibes. Confidence will get you a long way with someone like me just because you’re not all tense about something or other. Besides obviously little guys are feisty ;)

Trevor April 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I have to agree with James. I am tired of my confidence being the sole reason a girl will speak to me or not. What does my being confident about talking to women have to do with anything?? Give me one reason why I SHOULD be confident talking to them? Guys face more rejection than you even know. It doesn’t take much before your confidence is sunk. Here is the other misconception women have it seems…that if I’m nervous talking to a girl I like, that I’m not confident in other areas, or even every other area of life! I’m very confident, I love who I am, and I’m a successful artist which required a LOT of persistence to break into. But I worry about saying the wrong thing and that I might screw it up with the girl I like, that might be ‘the one’. I think that is SWEET, not a turn-off FFS!

To Nancy: Please be careful calling short guys adorable and feisty. I know you mean well, but you have to be in his shoes. Men want to be men–we do NOT want to be adorable. If we liked being adorable, then this forum wouldn’t exist because short men wouldn’t be unhappy!

Michael April 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm

All this talk of confidence is ridiculous

When a short man is confident he is seen as trying to “compensate” he has “short man syndrome”. It is disingenuous to say being confident will fix any problem. Society simply has almost no regard for short men

Martin Hearne April 17, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Martin to Michael

At the end of the day, life is very unfair. There are some things, we have just got to accept, so just make the most of what you have got.
As someone who believes in reincarnation, what is to say, you may be taller in your next life.

Michael April 17, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I got it Martin, you believe in reincarnation. No need to mention it again to me

James April 21, 2012 at 7:08 am

Trevor & Michael and any young man that reads this, don’t let these immature young ladies bring you down, you are better than them. Talking to older women in my age group I hear all the myths and assumptions they tell me they use to have when they were younger, I’ve heard it all. Younger women are simply not that bright, and I hate to say that. They THINK they know everything but don’t know shit. This is why you see young professional nice men dating older women because the older women appreciates and understands a guy being nice were as a younger female may see nice guys as losers. Most people men and women have confidence in the beginning until something keeps happening that makes them doubt themselves, we all have been there. But some young women THINK that it is easier for a guy to have confidence than for a woman. So what they are saying is a guy has no excuse but a woman does have an excuse for not being confident. That’s the stupidity you are dealing with from some of the women in your age group. Confidence is soo subjective anyway, it based on how the other person PERCEIVES you. You may be confident but the other person may THINK you lack confdence. It could be based on anything. You have to really be around someone a lot to truly draw that conclusion and even then you still could be wrong. But these stupid young women will draw this conclusion in a matter of seconds but they really know nothing about the person. I met this woman online and we decided to “skype” she looked so nervous I could have easily ASSUMED she lack confidence but she was just nervous in the beginning, and eventually started to relax an hour into the conversation. Our skype lasted 3 hours, it turned out she wasn’t shy at all not even close. Now if I went ahead and ASSUMED she lacked confidence and just ended the conversation after just 30 minutes I never would have really got to know her. So remember you are better than people who are shallow and quick to judge someone.

Trevor April 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

James I appreciate your feedback. I agree with you. I thought I was clueless in my 20s, and now that I’m turning 30, I realize the women have been far more clueless than me–having NO idea how to even react to a man when he asks her out. They’re clueless! But anyway, none of this talk about their stupidity gets me any less single :(
None of it gets me any more dates, or any less lonely. So I am at a loss.

Martin Hearne April 21, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Martin to Michael

You said, you had a brother 8 inches taller than you. Well he probably had a better awareness of the surroundings around him, than you, so he was able to connect to things, by being in the right place at the right time, to receive information about being taller, though he was not aware of it at the time. When he was growing up, he probably had a more positive outlook on life than you. For example, when you are a child you can say I do not want to end up short, or I am going to end up tall. In the former statement, you are sending out negative energies to the universe [Notice the words, not and short],whereas in the latter positive energies. What you don,t want becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.Obviously it is more of an achievement to be tall, if you have short parents, rather than taller ones.
But please do not put yourself down. Life is all about making mistakes, and I am sure you will get there in the end.
Sorry I bored you in my last e-mail.But I do repeat myself sometimes, without realising it!

James April 22, 2012 at 10:47 am

Hey Trevor
There is no one answer, you basicly need to find someone who is not OBSESSED with height and will take the time to get to know you. Worry about what you can control. How you dress, weight (work out) keep yourself fit, BULK UP. Those are the things you can control. Make it obvious that you’re confident, ALWAYS look people in the eye but don’t worry about what people think of you. Stay the hell away from younger women. You’re just wasting your time with them and I already explained why. Focus on you, career be successful, the good ones will eventually come to you. Once you are successful there are some women that will come to you that you need to stay the hell away from. And that’s GOLDDIGGERS. That’s annother reason to stay away from young women. Young women are always trying to run scams on nice successful men to get their money. If she doesn’t have much of a job or no job at all keep your eye open for a scam. I’ve seen this happen too many times to friends. These women will literally have boyfriends that are complete losers, no job and don’t have nothing going for themselves but instead of breaking up with the loser boyfriend they will seek out some nice dude who has his act together to SCAM. She doesn’t see her loser boyfriend as a loser she sees the nice successful dude as the loser because he is not considered “cool” by her standards. As long as the loser boyfriend is TALL, dresses in hip hop fashion, wears the right kind of shoes and wants to be “gangsta” that’s the ideal man for her. You are less likely to deal with this with older women but there are older women that are golddiggers they just carry themselves in a classier way. I would not compromise my standards. Never date down, if you are successful date women that are successful.

James April 22, 2012 at 5:45 pm

also by no means is what I am saying will automatically fix everything but it does increase your chances a little more of finding someone worthwhile. Focus on you if someone finally appeciates you and notices you then great.

Ed April 29, 2012 at 6:39 am

I refuse to buy into this heightist nonesense. The average height of a US Marine was 5″7 and they weighed between 140-150, these guys were pretty darn badass. Nearly every tall bloke I know is suffering from some kind of back problem. Do some research, there are many advantages to being of a shorter stature.

Trevor April 30, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Ed, the fact that you respect short men and see their advantages is irrelevant. We also know that African Americans are equal, and the list goes on and on. But does that stop the ignorant masses from being the way they are? Also, many of the men reading this forum are under 5’7, and some are well under 5’7. Just debating with you, I appreciate your perspective.

SonnyJergens May 3, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Ed, you are absolutely right. There are tons of advantages of being a short man over a tall man. They’re just not in the dating world. Never have been. Most women can’t stand the very thought of being involved with a short man or settling down with one, especially the taller ladies. There are women in this world who are attracted to short men but I find most of them are the reformed heightist types who have no choice to consider a shorter man unless they want to be alone. Some do see the light after years of tall guy abuse. At the same time lots of these women are still unapologetic about their disdain for shorter guys. The ones who have cheated the effects of aging and have kept their good looks don’t change their spots. As long as she can pull in the tall, dark and handsomes, there’s no reason to settle on a shorter guy. This is the predominant attitude of the women in western culture which is why I encourage shorter men to look at foreign women.

Sam May 3, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I am 5’4″ and in my late 30′s. I’ve had around 30 sexual partners. I’m engaged to someone who I’ve been with for 5 years who is taller than me. I think the guys here are blowing the disadvantages of height out of proportion. Height discrimination does exist and is a problem that should be taken more seriously. It’s also something that cannot be changed and you must accept yourself to be happy in this life. If you become distracted by your height and walk around taking every slight, rejection, and insult, whether real or perceived to heart, you will be unhappy, angry, less confident, and will turn off women and everyone else. Stop focusing on it. Forget the fact that you are shorter. Put it out of your mind. Act like you are taller than you are if you have too. Walk the walk. Stand up for yourself and don’t let yourself feel less of a man because of it. The attitude you have towards yourself will count more than your hieght most of the time. I’ve read posts from women here, tall women, who are telling you this over and over, and who love their shorter partners, but you just respond again by saying how much it sucks being short. Stop. You are defeating yourself. Your height can’t be changed but your attutude can. Change it.

Martin Hearne May 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm


Sonny, things happen for a reason in this life. We all can not be the same.
Don,t worry everyone has their moment of glory. This is only one of several lifetimes, so everything is possible if you have faith. Who knows in decades to come,medical science may find a way of short men to increase their height, other than leg lenghtening.Miracles do happen, like that one of Adam Rainer mentioned a few e-mails back. The fact it happened only once in history is irrelevant. It happened and that is all that matters.
So please do not lose hope, you will get there in the end.

James May 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I really didn’t like the advice I gave earlier. You shouldn’t be so focused on impressing women in general or proving yourself. You shouldn’t have to when you are a good person. We as good men need to focus on us whether it’s being successful or making our lives fulfilling like being a good father or father figure.. whatever. If you got everything else going for yourself and a good person on top of it, if ladies are still not interested then it’s their problem because they have proven they are shallow anyway, especially since they are judging you on a trait you have absolutely no control over. Like someone said don’t worry about your height there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. Stay positive and do good things in life if those same idiots say you’re just over compensating then all they are doing is proving their ignorance, like if i’m not successful then who in the hell is going to feed my kids or pay my bills? Ask those idiots that. I’ve noticed men who usually marry or just get with women just to get their money tend to be tall. So if these stupid women rather be with a tall man who’s a loser trying to get their money then they will definately suffer the results of that. I know of a friend in the Air Force she married this tall ghetto acting thug. This dude never worked at all during their marraige, she was the sole bread winner but he was what she wanted at the time when she was young, because he was a real tall badboy. Now he’s divorcing her trying to get alimony and half of her retirement money. So if they want to be with those losers then let them suffer the results. They always do. She is one of the many reformed heightest I have met since turning 40. So for those who have not found someone don’t worry stay positive a good one will eventually come. It’s a good chance she may be a reformed heightest .

James May 8, 2012 at 2:50 am

I also wanted to add…. don’t compromise your standards. Go for women who have something going for themselves, a good or decent job ..etc not some gold digger who looks good on the outside but evil on the inside looking to scam you. Also a “pet-peve” with me women who refuse to take care of themselves like overweight women, drug addicts ..etc. I refused to compromise and settle with just anybody, I know I’m better than that.

Trevor May 14, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Hey guys! I wanted to come here and share my good news. I had a great weekend in Las Vegas. This story might sound stupid, naive, unconvincing to you guys, but I am really sincere about this. This weekend was my first dance from a stripper. Don’t worry, I have no delusions that she wasn’t doing it for the money(and it wasn’t cheap lol) but I’m telling you my confidence is through the roof now. I think I felt like a man for the first time in my entire life. I’ll say it again, I realize I paid this woman, but nonetheless, it made me feel alive like I’ve never felt before.

A lot of this has to do with my upbringing as a boring christian living in a shell. My parents married at 18 and they live in a shell. My Dad taught me NOTHING about women because he doesn’t know anything–because he got married and he didn’t have to deal with anything that I’m dealing with. He didn’t tell me that women think nice guys are weak, or that women actually like sex, and that you don’t have to apologize for looking at them. I swear to god my eyes were opened by this stripper lol. If you guys have tried everything else to gain confidence as a short guy and it’s not working, go get a stripper! I swear to this! I just went to the gym and talked to a girl that normally would have made me feel like I was swallowing my stomach the whole time. Except this time, I wasn’t nervous AT ALL. What a feeling!

Trevor May 14, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Oh and I want to add this part which I think is important. I have a new increased respect for women now from that strip club– not the other way around which you might expect. They were confident and comfortable with themselves. Every woman should learn how to dance like that to gain their own sense of sexiness and confidence(not for the masses but for their men lol)

James May 14, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I hate to burse your bubble but if strippers are making you have respect for women then their is something seriously wrong here. First off even though you were not judgemental of them doesn’t mean they are not judging you. Strippers tend to be the most shallow judgemental group of people I ever met. Most of them have boyfriends that are in and out of prison but that’s the kind of man they like and respect. They see customers that come in by themselves as losers and guys who spend too much money in the VIP room as “tricks” You don’t have to have sex with them to be labeled a trick. This is how they are seing it, you paid to have a woman get naked or strip for you, so they are thinking that’s pathetic that’s just like a trick. Some are basicly prostitutes on the side and are being pimped by some loser boyfriend. Their brains are wired to see successful good men as just an ATM machine, but the ladies see the thugs or bad boys that just got out of prison as the ones that are boyfriend material. These ladies will not hesitate to financially support those thugs by getting money out of you. Those are the kind of women that make me lose respect for women. No good man should have respect for them, it’s not what they do for a living, it’s how they think and treat others.

Trevor May 14, 2012 at 11:43 pm

I’m not sure what bubble you think you’re busting? I didn’t say I want to date strippers.

I can’t generalize about them the way you can apparently. I didn’t even say she had any respect for me–who cares if she did or not. I said multiple times that it was her job. I believe her job has a place in the world.

James May 15, 2012 at 6:15 am

You clearly said you gained respect for women by being with these strippers. If anything you should have less respect for women after being around that. The simple fact the cash you give them either supports their drug habit, supports some pimp or their loser ghetto acting boyfriend. So which creep are you going to financially support? You say you can’t generalize like me? Just because you’re being open minded about what they do for a living doesn’t mean they are open minded about you coming up in there being a customer. I assure you most have no respect for men that come up in there, especially if you went up in there by yourself. My brother is a manager at one of those places, most of those ladies pass judgement against most of the guys that walk up in there. As soon as you leave they are more than likely joking with the manager laughing at you saying that fool just spent 400 dollars on me in less than 30 minutes. I assure you the money you spent is either going to a drug dealer, pimp or their loser boyfriend who just got out of prison or all three.

James May 15, 2012 at 6:24 am

……and a lot of the time the pimp, drug dealer and boyfriend are actually the same person.

Trevor May 15, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I am perfectly willing to admit that I am naive about the world of strippers! There’s no reason to try and convince me! I was glad to see tho that none of the women in the place looked like addicts. They all looked healthy and happy actually. I believe a lot of them are simply paying for college. But obviously I have no idea what goes on behind everything–that goes without saying. And let me be clear–I didn’t gain a respect for strippers so to speak…I don’t even know them. They could very well be the horrible people you describe. What I said was that I gained A new respect for women because I didn’t know women could have so much sex appeal and confidence. A GOOD woman could be that sexy and confident too, and that’s admirable isn’t it?

And who goes to a strip club for respect? You know what you go for!

I don’t want to clutter the forum with an argument about whether strippers deserve respect or not. Take or leave what I said.

James May 16, 2012 at 4:23 am

You do sound naive, because of your reasonings. Just becuse someone appears to be confident doesn’t mean they are a good person and it doesn’t mean they deserve respect. Damn young man you sound like these stupid young females out there that fall for horrible mene because they think they have confidence. You need to see bad people for what they are.

James May 16, 2012 at 4:24 am

You do sound naive, because of your reasonings. Just becuse someone appears to be confident doesn’t mean they are a good person and it doesn’t mean they deserve respect. Damn young man you sound like these stupid young females out there that fall for horrible men because they think they have confidence. You need to see bad people for what they are.

Maria May 19, 2012 at 9:14 pm

I’m a short woman, being at 4’7”. I don’t care if the guy who shows interest in me is short or tall. All I care is if they like me for me (even my height). Though I highly doubt tall guys would ever be interested in women that short.

The problem that most short women have is that they appear younger then they really are. Some 24 year olds get mistaken for a teenager, some get mistaken for a child. It’s unlikely that a tall guy would ever go for a women that’s short like that because they risk getting stupid/negative comments and looks from people around them. Such as “is that your little sister” or “is that your daughter”, etc. It makes a relationship difficult when people always point out the youthful appearance that comes with short women. I don’t know about all short girls, but I feel comfortable with guys that are short. It’s less of a glaring difference between heights and less chance of people pestering.

camille jones May 30, 2012 at 7:53 am

That’s a great topic. I am currently in a relationship with a short man and everything is going great. By the I am 5’9 and in heels I am 6’2. “YIKES” I know I am a bit on the tall side but the height was only a problem to him on the first date but I made him comfortable,because honestly he had a great personality. Then he is “build”. He is also 5’5. So that’s a plus! Still with me being so tall I felt cautious to continue dating him. But as I got to know him he has grew to become more then a guy friend now we are actually married,and I am loving everyday.

Ed June 2, 2012 at 5:36 am
Ed June 2, 2012 at 5:40 am

And if you are to add up all the heights for each country and divide by 57, the average world height is closer to 5”6 than 6” foot. This may have skewed slightly as I rounded up for a few figures. What does this tell you, it tells you with more cultural diversity, the heightism issue will be a none issue. Get to the gym and get the best body you can and focus on what you can change not on what you can’t.

Ed June 6, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Since there hasn’t been an answer to my last post. It seems I have put to bed the issue of heightism once and for all. I am not saying it is non existant, I am saying it is most common in Western countries. When you look at the evidence, and view height from a global perspective it can certainly do a great deal to boost you self image. By looking at the bigger picture, you can see it isn’t that bigger deal.

Martin Hearne June 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

Martin to Ed

In reply to that, because I have since been away a while.
I was looking at a survey about 30 years old, and it mentioned any male under five six was considered short. Because the average height has increased by 3 inches in that time, I was just looking at a recent survey, and it says any male under five nine is now considered short. So obviously I find, it a lot more difficult to get in the dating market, because women have raised the bar, where height is concerned accordingly. If people keep growing at that rate, in another 30 years, anyone under six foot would be considered short!

Kristen June 11, 2012 at 1:15 am

This article is so great! I showed it to my boyfriend (who is about 5’6) because he always complains about being short. I’m 5’8 & 1/2 so I’m like really tall for a girl (or at least in my circle of friends) and I think I make him self conscious. But your article makes sense, I may be taller but I’m only 135 lbs and a size 6 so I don’t look huge next to him. And he’s like 165 lbs, so no biggie right? :) plus confidence is SUPER sexy, no one likes a self conscious partner.

Ed June 11, 2012 at 5:04 am

Martin, that survey you were referring to was probably America, don’t let the online dating criteria influence you. On a global perspective which this article confirms it is not a biggy. How many of those countries mentioned, have a lower height and very good looking people, if you have a look you will notise quite a few countries, Brazil and Argentina to name a few. Height does not equate to being more attractive, I don’t have to look far to see unattractive tall people.

Ava June 13, 2012 at 12:36 am

Many of my guy friends often talk about how they can’t find girlfriends because all women are shallow and want more height, fitness, money, whatever. I find myself suggesting that some women might prefer a man who doesn’t pigeonhole her entire gender. There is no height requirement on my list of dating criteria, but there is definitely a no whining misogynist clause.

I do sympathize with the challenges shorter men face. My partner is maybe 5’5″ and had never had a serious girlfriend. I’m about 5’9″ and have never had trouble dating guys of any height, but I wouldn’t trade my guy for anyone. In addition to being short, he is bald, lowish income, unfashionable, not especially buff, without a car, and shy. He is also wickedly funny, friendly, generous, supportive, thoughtful, has the kindest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, and is comfortable in his skin. He swept me off my feet in a matter of days and I plan to never let him go. We talk honestly about our insecurities, but I’ve never once heard him complain.

I really believe, as does he, that if you have a positive attitude, some patience, and a bit of guts, there’s a good chance for everyone to find the right person.

SonnyJergens June 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Hi Ava,

Sadly but not surprisingly, heightism is strongly accepted, highly practiced and is a common prejudice with modern women. It’s an invalidation ideology that is just as bad as sexism, racism or ageism. North American culture spews constant subliminal reminders from all the media outlets of the short guy inferiority VS tall guy superiority. Tall is still the ALL for 90+ percent of women and they are a lot less apologetic about their reservations against short guys. Some women even go to the greatest of lengths to be extra hurtful to short guys who dare believe they are even worthy enough to be considered a “man.” I have been encouraging men of all heights to seriously consider foreign women and look for happiness on another continent. There is evidence that my advice isn’t being ignored because the divorce rate is still sky high but less people are getting married. I believe foreign women hold a higher respect for men of all heights and for marriage in general. Women on this continent would sooner replace you with a taller guy the first chance they get. There are enough women who still have issues being as tall or taller than a man in heels and it will forever be HER problem, not yours.

Ed June 15, 2012 at 7:27 pm

It really sounds rough in the U.S. When you hang with different cultures the height issue isn’t there as much. Maybe you should visit Canada, where the average height is nudging 5”9. One thing you will find is that taller men grow very complacent and probably don’t view shorter guys as much of a threat. Many of the really good PUAs are shorter than average height, and I can honestly say these are the men who slip under the radar.

Martin Hearne June 16, 2012 at 5:40 am

Martin to Ed

Mentioning men of shorter height, when you look back at their lifestyles, like diet, sleep, stress etc, you will find the vast majority did not reach their potential genetic height by about 3 inches. When you look at 3 inches on a tape measure, it seems negligible, but vertically added on from a short distance a big difference. I am sure with modern technology and medical science, it should be possible to increase one,s height by that much. Like I mentioned a few e-mails back, about Adam Rainer, anything should be possible in this day and age. So if you are a short male, please do not lose hope, miracles do happen.


Ed June 17, 2012 at 2:13 am

Is this a windup? I bet a lot of the guys who are winging here aren’t putting in the extra effort into their grooming, style, working out etc. I can honestly say that I would not want to be any taller than I already am. The vast majority of tall guys I see around are ugly, overweight or really skinny. Many don’t have any fashion sense at all. I am not saying there aren’t some circles where you aren’t at a disadvantage if you are shorter. I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt I would much rather have a quality aesethic physique on a shorter frame, than look rubbish at 6”foot plus. Getover what you cannot change and fix what you can, if a women is so damned focused on some attribute you can’t change, then for god’s sake ditch her.

Martin Hearne June 17, 2012 at 5:29 am

Martin to Ed

No this is not a wind up, if you google that name mentioned in my previous e-mail, it happened. It may not seem like a miracle in itself, because he died shortly after, but he had the experience of being tall, if only for a very little time. It is the quality of life, rather the the quantity of life that is important. I would not mind being 3 inches taller, even if I had only just a few years left to live, just to experience life from a totally different perspective. Who knows what medical science could come up with then. True everything could come at a price, but that could all change if you had a windfall, or a legacy. Money has a very strange way of coming to people, in ways we do not yet understand. That is something I am working on at the moment. I still believe all things are possible either in this lifetime or some future one, as a believer in reincarnation.
And I am afraid it is true most women in certain cultures do prefer taller men.
What you mentioned about taller guys, yes there is always an exception to the rule, but that rarely happens in general. At the end of the day, it is like the old saying, ‘a good big un, always beats a good little un’


Sergio June 24, 2012 at 6:19 am

I’ll never understand guys of 5’6-5’7 coming on here and saying what’s the problem, its all about confidence yada yada. 5’6-5’7 is a few inches under average height. If anyone of that height is having problems attracting women I have news for you. I’ts not your height. Even a strong 5’5 guy (Think Billy Warlock) won’t have problems. With just a modest lift in their footwear they can stand at 5’7 – 50% of the female population stand at that height or below, even with 3 inch heels.

No. Shortness becomes an issue in the dating world at 5’4 and below The point where you drop under the average height of women. There will always be exceptions, but that’s where the discrimination in the dating world kicks in. Short women don’t want you, tall women don’t want you.

5’7 is a different world IMHO.

Jason June 28, 2012 at 12:53 am

Unfortunately, I have to agree 100% with Sergio. I have seen it over and over for myself. I am 5’2″ and man does it suck. I am a fairly good looking guy besides my height and I am very well off financially, but yet I still can’t get a date. To reiterate what Sergio said, these guys on here that are 5’5″ or taller.. Man what I would give to be in your shoes. I feel like I could get any girl if I was like 5’6″ or so. The average women is 5’4″ so if you fall below that like me you are just SOL. You can have the best charm, be confident, successful, etc. but you will still get nowhere. It’s as if you are exempt from getting any decent girl period. I have completely lost all hope at this point. Lately I have been considering getting myself a professional call girl just to go out on a pretend date with, just to get some kind of companionship, even though it won’t be reall because I will be paying for her presence. I haven’t done it yet because believe it or not I do have pride in myself. But what’s a guy to do when he’s fed up with being lonely.

Martin Hearne June 28, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Martin to Jason

You may have no choice, but to pay for the services. I would if I could afford it, go for it. It is a matter of like attracting like, even if only borrowed, similar to a beggar with an empty plate. As soon as people see the plate has no money, they just walk past without giving, but put a few coins in, even if only borrowed and you will notice the difference. Once you have a beautiful woman with you, people will not notice she is on loan, unless you mention it to them. It will send out positive vibrations to your surroundings, and other women may be attracted to you. Other than that miracles do happen, which I am sure will happen in this lifetime or the next one, if you stay focused and do not lose hope.


Jason June 28, 2012 at 8:18 pm


Yes you are right. That is kind of my logic in hiring a pro to go on some dates with. I figure if other women see me out a few times and don’t know that the girl I’m with is hired help, they will take notice and start to think regardless of my shortness I must have something good to offer. My friends and I tend to call this the “domino effect”. For a lot of my friends (that are of a more normal size of course) it works wonders for getting many girls.

Ed July 7, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Ed July 11, 2012 at 8:32 am
bsuper July 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Being a short guy there are a lot of challenges with women.
I am 5’2 and i have been gaming women for almost 8 years and from i have been very successful where the majority of the girls i had dated were taller than me.
The true challenge is the pressure the women faced being with a short guy.

For success you must:
learn the rules of the game
go out everyday and sarge
be funny and cocky
be confident
dress well and smile
take care of yourself
and be positive
then you will have success with women

I had been with almost 40 women and i am 5ft2

Donna July 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I am a young woman and at 5′ 10″ I was a sucker for tall guys. My longest relationship was with a 6′ 5″ guy who I had all kinds of problems with. After that I got with a 6′ 3″ guy for about a day (I knew it was a fling from the start) and then I dated a sweet guy who was 6′ 1″.
After being with these three I was left feeling unsatisfied. The last guy suffered from ED and lost confidence because of this. The middle guy is an idiot and kind of a whore, and my first boyfriend suffered from some mental problems and was very controlling. I noticed with all three of these men, they immediately felt a strange sense of entitlement, each demanding I be their “girlfriend” and trying to control me.
I decided to opt out of all three and be alone.
Meanwhile, one of my best friends, and oldest (we’ve known eachother for eight years!) acted as an anchor for all of this, providing wise advice and genuine friendship. After a drunken night he offered himself to me, knowing I was sexually frustrated, but not looking to commit. I took him up on it, and was pleasantly surprised!
Not only was he the best I’ve had, but I actually found myself falling for him. I literally said I would NEVER date anyone shorter than me, but at 5′ 6″ he’s perfect.
We plan on running away together, and in general I have become disenchanted with tall guys.
Short guys are where it’s at ;D

SonnyJergens July 27, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Wow Donna!

A reformed heightist who needed to booze up and hit the bottle just to figure out that a 5’6 short guy was good enough? AND for you to have sex with? SHEESH!

Is it a safe bet to say that you would have never accepted his advances on a sober night? Not even on his best day and your absolute worst day would you have ever even considered him as dating potential? 5’6 guy was just a friend to you and nothing more than a friend, except the fact that he was an “anchor” for you with sound advice through tough times as you say? SHEESH AGAIN!!

I’m guessing for 8 years you took advantage of his shoulder to cry on and his good heart meanwhile you sexed yourself out with idiots and got hurt in the process, just because these fools were tall? SHEESH ONCE MORE!!!

I truly hope for your sake you really like this guy because if he’s a good guy, he doesn’t deserve the BS and nonsense from a reformed heightist such as yourself. End it now and don’t lead him on because I fear for him that you just might drop him quicker than it took for you to get drunk and sleep with him. Why am I finding it hard to believe that you won’t run off with the next 6’0 or more tall guy who comes into your life?

You can say that you’ve become disenchanted with tall guys but to me thats a lot of smoke and crap. The fact that you’ve held a “literal” sense of entitlement to tall guys just because you’re tall yourself and now you’ve gone 180 degrees for a 5’6 guy would give me the heebee jeebees.

Try your best not to break his heart chicky! Don’t hurt him because he doesn’t deserve that. Forgive me, but you sound like you’re no better than the tall, high-heel toting, pretentious, ignoramussettes who all of a sudden had a short-guy-awakening and now in the process disrespect tall guys? If you’re lucky, he won’t leave you in a pool of your own tears after realizing your true nature.

Again, I apologize if I sound harsh, but you really struck a nerve here woman! The fact that this guy put up with you for that long and probably held back his feelings for you because he knew that he had no chance because of your innate desire for tall men is shameful! For 8 years this guy wasn’t good enough for you to get involved with on a deeper level but you ate up his friendship like an ongoing sad soap opera. Please grow up a little more, especially if the two of you are planning on running off together.

Scott August 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I’m 5’7″ tall and 33yrs old now and I can tell you from my limited experience that I have never had a problem attracting women, and that’s saying a lot because I was always very shy, especially in the beginning. Girls would always just come up to me and tell me how hot I was. I Didn’t have much confidence in myself, particularly when I was in my early 20s but even that didn’t serve as an obstacle to women going out of their way to talk to me. I remember a friend of mine who told me how women always check me out, and that I never even notice it. I ‘ve had girls tell me me I look “look like one of those supermodels.” My point is that short can be an obstacle I guess, but if your short and very attractive, it seems that “attractive” supercedes the height advantage most of the time. I know that even more now, at 33, because as I get older, it becoming harder to get women to look back at me two or three times like they would often do when I was in my early and mid 20s. They still say I’m very good looking, but girls who have known me for a long time have told me than I’m just not stunning like I use to be. So, I guess it all depends on what strengths one has over weaknesses. If more strengths than weaknesses, than being shorter won’t matter.

Sergio August 21, 2012 at 6:25 am

Scott. Your’s is exactly the type of post I was referring to in my June post.Your 5’7. Of course you won’t have problems with women. Any guy 5’5-5’7 is taller than 50% of the female population. Even the 5’5 guy can get to stand close to 5’7 with a modest lift. If your 5’5 plus and having problems getting a date, its NOT your height.

Dating discrimination and bias kicks in at 5’4 and below, no matter how good looking and personable you are. Of course there will always be exceptions, but in general, it will be a struggle.

That’s the height you drop under average height for women. I’ve seen it so many times, not just in myself (5’3) but for numerous other short men. It’s life, and unfortunately little you can do about it. It’s the crappiest part of being short IMHO. Short women (<5'2) want taller men, average women want men taller than them , tall women want taller men.

SonnyJergens August 28, 2012 at 4:05 pm


I encourage you to do whatever you need to do to get off the North American continent. The US is a smorgasboard of pompous, ignorant, pretentious people, especially the women. American women I’d say are at the top of being the shallowest of the shallow. They are way beyond superficial any time “ideal height” for a man is the topic of discussion. Hollywood continues to brainwash women, telling them what looks right and what is supposed to feel right. Women in other parts of the world mostly don’t give a rats a$$ about a mans height. Some do care but most don’t.

If you’re a guy who stands between 5’5 and 5’9 with a handsome face and a nice body, you’re practically a freak. Even more freakish if you hover over the 5’0 mark. You may have inherited good looks from your parents but your short frame makes you abnormal. With that being said, it’s probably better to be an ugly bastard if you’re a short guy and want to have relationships with women. Women don’t normally like to be seen in public with short guys who are fit and good-looking, especially in the face. It’s a fine line. His lack of height, but handome face and nice body brings too much unwanted attention to the woman who has issues dealing with the public. She cares too much about what others have to say about her shorter boyfriend. For women with attitude, his lack of height might take the focus away from her if she’s a princess who needs to be showered with constant attention. Her ego says only a tall trophy boyfriend to show off to the world is acceptable. Most women don’t consider short men to be attractive in the first place so if he’s got a handsome face to go with a nice body, it’s a big time anomaly. The underlying message implied by women is that short men are a waste and shouldn’t be allowed to have good looks or have nice bodies. I’ve heard women speak very loudly and clearly about their disdain for good looking short guys. Height and good looks go hand in hand with tall guys, not short guys. If the woman isn’t attractive, or lacks self confidence, you won’t stand a chance getting with her only if you’re less attractive than she is. Short guys looks can never overshadow hers at any time.

The good news is that there are some women who love a fit, good-looking short guy but in reality their numbers are extremely few. It might mean waiting for years and years and years and enduring an abhorrent amount of rejection and denial. Still, there are ladies who will except you at face value.

The bad news is that there are women willing to “settle” on you, just for the purpose of not being alone. They are rarely happy as people unless you have some extra stimulus to provide for her. This usually means a healthy, heavy bank account and a large endowment below the waist. Women who settle for short guys usually have no luck hooking up with tall guys anymore so they lower their standards. They have no choice. A large quantity of these women are well past child-bearing age, some divorced and remarried three or more times, and their looks have severely diminished. No tall guy wants them anymore so to avoid being alone, it means taking what they can get from the world of short guys. Some of them literally, “take” what they can get from a short guy and have no qualms about depleting his assets. In the meantime they play the waiting game or cheating game. There’s always the hope of running off with the ideal tall guy who tells her to get rid of her “temporary” short boyfriend. She’ll keep the short guy close if the money is good and cheat on him with the men she desires. Be carfeful.

Martin Hearne August 30, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Martin to Sonny

Nothing happens by accident, in God’s universe or our lives.
- Thus, there is no such thing as a coincidence.
- Prior to coming to this planet, we create a life-plan.
- That plan is made with free will. Nobody forces it on us.
- Our life-plan is made, after we review our previous lives and experiences.
- The more evolved we are, the more our life-plan centres around
spiritual growth and service to others.
- We may want to learn patience, forgiveness, compassion, during our next life.
- Or we may want to experience being blind, poor, rich, etc.
- Our guardian angels/sprit guides know our plan.
- Synchronous events often come when we least expect them.
- That’s what makes them synchronous.
- When an unexpected event occurs, we still react to each with free will.
- It is also possible to overrule parts or our entire plan while on Earth.
- However, overruling our original plan is not the wisest choice. It
creates confusion in our lives.
- Certain events will occur in our lives when we planned for them to happen.
- While in body we are constantly making choices and creating our reality.
- This too is done with free will.
- And yet, there is “something” going on in the background of life.
- This something provides the guidance we need for our plan to unfold.
- This influence is happening at a higher level and for good purpose
- Which purpose is to keep us on course, as it relates to our earthly plan.
- Another purpose is to provide us ongoing guidance in our lives.
- Many events also make us happy such as finding past-lifetime friends.
- If we ask Spirit (and our angels) for guidance, the help is sure to come.
- We need to learn how to listen for and to the guidance.
- Pay special attention to any event or clue that happens three or more times.
- Look for patterns and repeated themes within the event(s).
- Often times the messages we receive are symbolic and we need to decipher them.
- If things fall into place, as if by magic, most likely you’re on the
right path.
- If you meet resistance or dead-ends, reconsider the choice you have made.

Here’s a simple way to look at past events that have mysteriously come
into your life as unplanned or unexpected experiences. These events
may have been based upon some form of guidance such as a strong hunch,
a powerful or compelling thought that came into your mind, a voice
that spoke to you, a dream that you had, a synchronous event, and so
on. So you see, God works and moves in the most subtle and
mysterious ways;
As sure as he makes green apples

So you see everything happens for a reason, even if it is being short.
Try and see it as character building, because there are always people
worse off than yourself
So please do not lose hope, and feel free to e-mail me any time.


Sonny Jergens August 30, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Hi Martin

I haven’t lost hope or faith in our Heavenly Father, the risen Christ and the Holy Ghost. Hope is in the coming of Christ and that is a beautiful thing my friend. I don’t think I need to tell you that it truly is! You know it is!

I will boldly admit to losing a ton of respect for the female species, but not as a whole. I still admire many women, treat the good ones as equals and hold them in high praise respectively. There are some wonderful women in this world who make me extra glad to be a man. Just too few of them on this continent. I don’t waste my time with women who are conceated, discriminatory or hurtful to others. There are lots of those types. Ignorance is different because you can educate the ignorant and show them another way. That’s if they want to see different though. I don’t put my faith or trust in women either. Never have. When you’ve been disrespected, insulted and have absorbed enough hurt on the basis of something you can’t control such as height or skin colour, it does harden your heart a bit. It makes you think about what people value in this society and how they behave. I do keep an open mind and an open heart for all and try my absolute best not to judge people irrationally. How you judge is how you shall be judged in life. That is what I’ve learned also. People’s true colours do have a tendency to shine and the resulting picture is rarely a pretty one.

Aging, learning and accepting rejection has allowed me to live a good life without wanting or desiring relationships with women. Not as much anymore to say the least. Most of the time they are way too much trouble in the first place. I point to the courts with the increasing divorce rate in North America as “plain as english” evidence. The children if any, suffer the most which contributes to this sad and disturbing trend. I don’t allow myself to be taken advantage of by the heightist, superficial types who’ve changed their spots and now look to rectify themselves finding happiness with me. Absent, shallow, egosticial minds make poor decisions in their lives and are unapologetic about their choices. I can’t be bothered to show them right. They don’t deserve it. Many of them need to suffer from the consequences of their actions. It’s the only way they will learn to respect, appreciate and understand the plights of all people. Furthermore, I don’t waste time like some guys do and take advantage of these women who give them “new” attention. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself. Like the old saying goes, two wrongs don’t necessarily make a right.

God gave man the gift of choice and his unconditional love. That’s what I live for. If a good woman who speaks the truth, has a clear head on her shoulders and doesn’t lie to her heart, she is welcome in my life. I will gladly share my life with her. I do that for all of my male friends because they are important to me.

One more thing. I still encourage men to escape to other parts of the world and experience the beauty of foreign women. Hollywood isn’t religion or a way of life for them. It’s just entertainment which is really what it should be here.

Peace be with you.


Martin Hearne August 31, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Martin to Sonny,

Maybe another way of looking at it, is God could have planned for you to be the way you are in this life, is to experience things from a different perspective, by channelling your energies appropriately to the body, you have been given in this lifetime. Have you ever thought of becoming a priest, or following a life of celibacy? Obviously that lifestyle will not suit everyone, because we are all created different. It would be a very boring world if we were all the same. We would be like clones with no individuality. Who knows if you follow that lifestyle I have just mentioned, you could evolve spiritually and discover hidden talents, you may not have been aware of, so it might be worth giving it a try. The majority of the people you mentioned, are of the herd mentality, because they are so wrapped up in their own importance, are so blind to their own spiritual development, that it will be finally their own downfall. At least you can take a back seat, sit back smell the coffee, and I can guarantee when tough times do come, the latter will fall in the manure, and you will come up smelling of roses.
Hope that is of some comfort to you.

gary vincent September 22, 2012 at 8:57 pm

This should be sent and be seen in most web site for daters.

OLIVIA L. B. November 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I was a female who dated one gentleman shorter than myself and one my height. Usually, I dated taller gentleman. Jan. 2012, I saw a gentleman and I could only say WOW! (I saw him standing; but his height was unimportant. Later I noticed from afar perhaps he is about 5’5″ or perhaps my height.) Who is he? (Could not take my eyes off him. Seems even when I looked down my eyes were drawn to him.) I don’t stand a chance with him. He’s taken. Lucky lady. I felt rather sorry for myself; because after a car accident I walk with a cane and predetermined he did not notice me. BUT I was going to look and remember how this handsome sexy gentleman with the vice that melts my heart looked afterwards. Anytime I went to his place of employment I would look for him. After realizing his friends were detaining until he came downstairs, I was stunned and still doubted he has finally noticed me. When I am attracted to a gentleman and he does not notice me, I admire him from afar; but when he notices me I am always surprised and get tied tongue. This is the third time. Monday, I got my nerves up and looked for him but could not find him. I eventually asked a coworker to give him my card with phone numbers to him. He wears a badge. No, I was to busy looking into his eyes to notice his name. I have many regrets; but I am hoping he has not given up on me. I was reading this article about the dating challenges of men with short statures. This gentleman caught my eyes first with how he moved (sexy) and oozed confidence.
Of course, he was handsome and MUSCLES. I think of him all the times. My prayers daily includes for him to be in my life. Height is unimportant when you meet your soul mate!

Vitamin J December 2, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Wow an interesting series of posts here. I am a 5’5.5″ male and just wanted to respond to some of the comments suggesting that you only deal with heightism in dating if you are 5’4″ or shorter. I can say that is definitely NOT the case. While at 40 I am now satisfied with my dating and love life, and will be getting married next year, it was not always this way. Before reaching 30, getting a date was very very difficult. After 30, it got somewhat easier as the women I was interested in got older and more mature, and my self-understanding and confidence grew, but height still remained an issue. Several times I have been told by a girlfriend that she almost rejected me at first because of my height. The implication is that many more women WERE rejecting me because of my height, though they never told me so (I live in Canada where people are notoriously over-polite). Also, I have done experiments with both online and telephone personals where I sometimes include my height in my profile and sometimes leave it out. If I leave my height in, I get the odd response. If I leave it out, I get tons of responses.

That’s not to say that it isn’t even more difficult for men 5’4″ and shorter. It absolutely is, and every inch you are shorter, the harder it gets. But I think the cutoff for where height becomes a serious issue for men dating women is about 5’8″. Below that, many women will reject you just because of your height. And that’s not related to the woman’s height either: a 5’1″ woman is just as likely to reject a shorter man as a 5’10″ woman.

The good news of course is that there are a significant minority of women who do not care about height, or at least don’t make it a deal-breaker. Also, I agree with the posters here who say that height is less of an issue outside North America. I definitely get attention much more easily from European and Asian women. For women height also tends to be more important while they are causally dating. I have tall male friends who get more casual dates in a month than I have had my whole life, and they aren’t even trying that hard. But when it comes to picking a serious partner, women tend to focus more on personality than looks, so height doesn’t matter as much.

Best of luck to everyone searching for dates and partners. We all need it! :-)

Carmen December 6, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Personality and knowing That he doesnt need to be taller to keep a taller 5’9″ girl being 5’3″:)

Rica December 13, 2012 at 4:27 am

I am a 5″9′ hot female and my man comes to my breasts. I don’t know his height but he is SHORT. I never am bothered by his height, he is amazing in every way to me but he jokes and grabs a stool and kisses me and says don’t u wish I was this tall and I say no u wish u were that tall. We have been together 2 years and I just get crazier for him with each day! I always had dated guys over 6 feet in the past and when I met my man I never thought he’s too short for me, I just thought man he is sexy .:

Shadow December 27, 2012 at 4:14 am

I just finished reading every single post on this page and while I can understand the temptation to give into despair, it deeply annoys me. Too many of you guys are acting like you’re going to die alone no matter what you do. What I find generally funny is that it could be SO much worse. I could think of hundreds of different things off the top of my head but just a few. You could be death, blind, mentally retarded or even confined to a wheel chair for life. Whenever I get down about my height, I just think about how many people are worse off than I am.

Now with that said, I’m not implying that it’s not a disadvantage. It is but it’s by no means the end of the world. I stand at only 5’3. Shorter than the majority of you complaining and yet I saw a couple of guys even shorter than me in here. What does this tell you? Someone’s always got it worse. Those of you that are 5’7-5’8 just seem like you want to blame your height on a messed up dating life to be perfectly honest. That’s only 1-2 inches under the average world wide. With shoes on 5’8 guys, you’re average.

Not to say there’s no truth to your statements. I know for a fact there’s several women who will only accept men over 6 feet. These are the shallowest types and in my mind is just a giant indicator that you shouldn’t be after them anyway. It gets worse though with every inch lost and I think once you get to below 5’6 is when things get bad.

In HS, I had very little success with girls. I was nervous around them, very insecure about my height and rather be left alone in general. I was also only 5’1 back then so that didn’t make things easier. After graduating, I started to do a lot of research on the subject and it became very clear that a portion of society has some sort of secret contempt for men. Some of the articles I read were beyond fabricated and yet people actually believed them.

I’ll never forget this one video I saw where there was a line up of men ranging from all different heights. It went as low as 5’0 and they brought in women, making profiles for the guys in order to find out their opinions. The shortest man was made a millionaire and the women said they still wouldn’t go out with him. Only if the others were guilty of some sort of crime would they go out with them. Right there was when I realized just how fake it was. Really, a millionaire not getting girls at 5’0 when Verne Troyer can get them at 2’8. Sure, sounds totally legit. Obviously it’s not that easy with us regular guys but that was just one of many times that I noticed something trying to bring us short guys down.

I think heightism is probably one of the worst forms of discrimination and yet no one seems to want to acknowledge it. People will get mad if a girl is made fun of for her weight which she can change but generally won’t show concern if someone is insulted about their height. Like race, it’s something you can’t change. I can understand having an idea of the “perfect guy” in your head. I think we all have imagined some sort of perfect mate for ourselves at one point or another. The thing that annoys me is completely dismissing someone or even worse, making them feel bad about themselves because of it. It’s such a vile and cowardly thing to do that hearing the way some of you guys have been treated, truly angers me.

I’ve been lucky enough not to have bad experiences to that level yet. Yes, I’ve faced rejections and gotten lines like “if you were taller” but never have I been considered less of a man for it(at least not to my face). Also, you guys need to be a little softer on the women coming in here. I can understand why you’d be mad at the ones it took several years or alcohol to realize that short guys are worthwhile but some of them generally seem to have changed their opinions and isn’t that a good thing?

Now that I’m out of high school and have had all this time to research the subject, I started to think about what I could do to better myself. This is where my problem with you guys comes in. You act like no matter what you do, nothing will change but I went from how I was in HS to a well dressed, relaxed guy in great shape. Do the girls flock to me like I’m some sort of superstar? No but I am getting way more attention than I was before and as a result I feel more confident. Currently, I’m in a relationship with a beautiful Puerto Rican lady who’s 5’6 and we barely notice the height difference.

What’s the moral of the story? Yes heightism is a problem that should be recognized more. Yes it’s harder to get dates when you’re shorter. Yes it’s not fair but unless you plan on committing suicide, you’re gonna be living on this planet for a few more decades. Might as well make the most of it.

AMac December 31, 2012 at 5:24 am

I think everyone has been making some pretty valid points, but I do want to say that I am 23, in good shape, and without trying to sound stuck up would consider myself to be physically pretty attractive. However, I am also 5’11″ and love to wear heels. I’m completely comfortable with this when I’m around my girlfriends who are all quite a bit shorter than me, but I feel as though when I’m out men frequently reject me because of my height. I have been interested in guys that aren’t even that much shorter than me and I feel like they may be interested sexually, but not in the long run because they’d rather be with some small, petite thing they can take care of and won’t feel immasculated by. Yes, I do want my man to make me feel protected and feminine, but if you’re shorter than me while I’m in heels and still willing to take the position that part of your job is looking out for me I would be thrilled. It’s good to hear so many guys say they’d love to date a taller woman, but I never seem to actually meet any…

Martin Hearne December 31, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Martin to Vitamin J

The only solution to your problem, is to go for leg lengthening.
Surgery techniques are improving all the time, though it will probably
come at a high price.
If you can afford it, I would go for it, while you are still young enough.
I am only an inch taller than you, and I know how it can wreck your confidence.
I have stood on a book about 3 inches thick and do notice the difference.
If only that could be permanent.
I am 55 years of age now, so probably too old for surgery.
My only hope is, in my next life, because I believe in reincarnation.

All the best for the New Year.


James January 7, 2013 at 9:48 am

I’m back..I first want to apologize to Trevor I went to far with my criticism of what he wrote back in May.

AMac I think a lot of short men make the assumption that a tall woman would never be interested. I made that mistake thinking a woman was trying to use me or play me. Most of the time it was true but there were those times a tall woman was genuinely interested in me.

Todd January 20, 2013 at 11:19 pm

@applepie, I laugh when people call me a joke at 5’7 or5’8 in the morning hah. I am not that short but compared to your family I am. I don’t care if people say I have a napoleon complex its w.e, but I have fought guys who were 6’3 and won so I don’t care if people think I am a joke. I also am in the Army in a Infantry Division and have completed many schools that your 6’2 boys drop out of, but by your standards people like me are jokes. By your standards I guess blacks should stay with blacks. Segregation should still exist too because hell that’s what went on for a bunch of years right? Whites should stay with Whites and Blacks should stay with Blacks because that is how it has been right? Keep the linage going. That is what you basically stated ” you are an extremely ignorant person”. Look at that now, it looks like I have a Napoleon complex because I have to justify that shorter men aren’t little teddy bears and can do anything a taller guy can do besides reach high shelves! However, if a tall guy stated all this sh*t he would be a REAL MAN. See how it works fellas!

SonnyJergens January 25, 2013 at 1:23 pm

Hi James,

Most tall women rarely show interest in a short guy, let alone date a much shorter guy. It’s not common. Some ladies will date a guy one inch shorter than her or maybe two inches at the most. Anything more than that is not acceptable and impractical according to her strong beliefs in society’s height rules. The embarrassment of the extreme height difference is too much for most tall women to deal with. Dating a much shorter guy 3 inches or more is huge no-no and turn-off. These women value outside opinions more than their own. Even if the shorter guy really likes her, his voice won’t count if her girlfriends and other family members refuse to accept him. She will do her best to find fault with him in favour of the guy who fits the stereotypical image of what an ideal man should look like.

Most of the excuses women use against shorter men isn’t based on her personal preference. In reality it is prejudice. The good news is that there are women of all sizes, tall and short, who don’t care about a mans height. The catch 22 is that many of them who have a change of heart for shorter men can’t attract the tall guys anymore so they have no choice but to look down. You’ll find more divorced and separated women and moms who don’t want to be alone. They look for solace in a shorter guy.

I strongly believe that short guys must still try to approach as many ladies as possible because rejection is always more iminent based on height. If you give yourself fewer options when approaching women, success is less likely. Best thing to do is to have no restrictions and no pre-conceived notions of failure. Yeah, most of the time you’ll know the answer but at least you can say to yourself you didn’t leave any doubts. Once in a while, a tall woman might surprise you and accept you as a man but I don’t put money in the bank on it. Not the women on this continent that’s for sure.

Good luck.

Martin Hearne January 25, 2013 at 8:49 pm

Martin to Sonny

My advice in your situation, if you are young enough, is to go for leg lenghtening. Surgery techniques are improving all the time. It will make a vast difference to your life, those extra few inches.
I am probably too old for surgery at 55 years of age, but because I believe in reincarnation, I hope to be taller in my next life.
Ask and ye shall recieve.
God answers prayers in his own time.

God bless.


Andy-12'Mind January 28, 2013 at 12:21 am

You guys are crazy,
I say its a matter of perspective.
1st off let me start off by saying this, I’m 5’1 now this is short a lot shorter than most guys here. But I don’t kick myself In the balls , I let my personality elevate me, I have tall friends and had gone out with taller girls and when friends want to rag on me they better come prepare! Lol Cz I can dish it, now let’s get back to “perspective” yeah you’re short if u 5’4-5’10 but you’re not a midget , I’m hispanic and being short is normal for us you’re telling me u can’t approach a girl that’s 4″ or 5″ shorter than you or even taller. Or are you guilty of discriminating as well? I live in NJ, very diverse , I think its sexy when I go out with a girl and we are holding hands and she’s wearing heels, u know how other ppl look at you? They must say “what did that guy do to get that girl” . Sure ppl talk shit, so what, ppl talk shit if you’re fat,too skinny, ugly, u have a big head, u have a big nose, ect . What I’m trying to say is u can’t change who you are, but u can demand respect at any height , if your head strong . Everyone walk around with some sort of insecurity, when ppl you know try to put you down, attack their weak spots, and I’m not saying is good to degrade ppl or put them down , but when ppl take shots on u, than its your job to defend your self respect. And belive it or not that feeling transfer over to other aspects even in dating, sure I get turned down or maybe even laughed , but chance are I will never see that girl again , and if do so what, I will prob be with a girl that did say yes.
Please forgive my grammar I’m writing this in my cell phone on my way home. Lol
I guess the moral of this story is,
Don’t be to hard on you’re self , stop trying to wish what you can’t be, and if you can’t find someone shorter than you look for someone taller than you , or move to jersey and date a short Hispanic , LOL
If your a girl that would like to contact me my email is villacis2u@hotmail.com :) hey you never know , talk u guys later

Bridget February 9, 2013 at 12:40 pm

I’m speaking as a 5’8 woman. Recently, a guy who’s 5’4 caught my eye, and I’m dating him right now. He is short, but he’s athletic and strong. It brings up my self esteem, and he feels great because he feels like he’s dating a supermodel, and I feel like one when I go out in heels!

Dandelions February 28, 2013 at 9:21 pm

I’m 4’9″ and my boyfriend is 5’4″. He’s the man of my dreams. I met him online. I’ve dated the spectrum: fat, thin, tall, short, poor, rich, handsome, homely, douchebag, nice, etc. Ultimately, I wanted to be with a man of character, my equal of sorts and of course, someone that treated me exceptionally well. My boyfriend is all of what I just described.

Every person should seek a partner that loves them for who they are. At 5’4″, my boyfriend is considered short by many women. For anyone, that’s rejected him for his height alone, I say it was a loss for them and an incredible gain for me. Many girls like me are just not that superficial.
If you’re curious to know whether my boyfriend had to settle for a sad homely looking girl with no prospects. Think again. I’m your average city woman in San Francisco…eats healthy, fit, attractive, stylish, educated (degree in engineering) and successful…I’m also serious about meaningful relationships. There really is someone out there for everyone. Believe in yourself. Be kind, honest and true. This will attract the best women. The kind you’ll want to spend your life with. :)

Mr five foot two March 3, 2013 at 3:29 am

@ SonnyJergens,

we are two of a kind. I thought i was 5’4 but i am really 5’1. Ive dated a couple girls. Only one real relationship for about a year and a half with a fair looking girl who I wasn’t all that attracted too but liked enough to deal with because she treated me any woman should treat a man. It was the first time in my life gaining confidence. I always went through life looking at my taller so called friends and wondering why I couldn’t get a girl like them. Ive been asked if I am gay, why do i stay to myself so much, and the question i hate the most. Why don’t you have a girlfriend? All of these questions from women I would gladly marry if they ever gave me the time of the day. Until recently I never knew why i was always single and to be honest lacking confidence has little to do with it. I honestly believe that the “lacking confidence” is a front for many women to just lie because a guy is just too short. I don’t think it takes alot of confidence to get an average looking overweight woman which I would be happy with but can’t even pull based on the first thing she determines is my height arrangement. It is truly is sad that at the age of 27 I have finally figured out why throughout my life ive only had one fair looking girlfriend who really didn’t appreciate me in the first place. I totally agree with you sonnyjergens and after facing so much rejection in high school and college i no longer pursue women. Ive gone through so many stages thinking to myself why don’t girls like me? what is wrong with me so much that I can’t get a date or a girl to just sit and watch a movie with me on a saturday night so i won’t be alone by myself? Not wanting her to feel sorry for me because I feel sorry for myself but to just care for me and see me like she sees that other guy who is taller than me. This is how i thought during my teenage years to my early twenties and whenever i see a taller man with a shorter than myself woman it still stings inside. But since ive learned to love myself and have accepted who I am as a person and that is a great person who has dealt with so many obstacles in life I no longer have the need to pursue women who are shallow as shallow hal anymore. Of course, I am on a few dating sites because i don’t want to be alone and to give myself some hope. And also I am not so bitter any longer that I will treat or disrespect women like I did during my phase in college because I wasn’t being appreciated but I will definitely not flirt and ask them out. Many men who are taller do not understand this concept of not asking women out anymore because they are not 5’1 or with shoes 5’2. Being 5’2 is a living hell. Its sort of like being in prison but you have all of the freedoms of seeing women, people, and everything else that goes along with it. The only thing is withheld romance which every woman knows a man needs for survival. Us men who are shorter than 5’4 get no love at all. Not once in my life has a woman ever pursued me except maybe a couple. At this age i hate complaining because I’ve grown to learn that my life could be a lot worse and as a short man I am proud of my accomplishments because so many women don’t expect us to prosper in life anyway. They look down upon us and don’t view us worthy enough of being with nor having children with I guess unless we have lots of money or super good looks maybe. I have seen short men with beautiful women before so i can’t speak for us all. But I have never seen a short man, really short man who doesn’t have a nice car, and money have a girl. What i am trying to say is that women usually if ever you see them with a short man who is shorter than 5’4 he usually has a nice car and money to spend on her. Other than that she is with a taller guy. Once I began to not care about what women thought of me and stopped being pressed over them I now feel much better about myself. You were so right about us not having options. We have no options, women do whether if they are attractive or unattractive. It all comes down to options of the female or the taller male. Short men have no options. We are forced to sit back and wait. So I wait, but will no longer pursue. Taller men pursue women and like the chase like a tiger because they have options. Those options give them confidence and that confidence gives them morale which in turn allows them to go after that female who already is attracted to them. So its a no brainer. Morale has to be boosted through sex and if you’re not having sex on a regular basis then you don’t feel useful as a man any longer and this is how many women make short men like us feel. it took me a very long time to control how i felt about women and to finally understand how shallow most about 90 percent of them are. Most women are shallow, even the nice ones. They may smile and treat you with respect while near you, but when their with their man they laugh at you and say things like i would never date a short man such as he. He can’t offer me what you can baby. Women think this way and taller men adore it. It boosts their egos and makes them feel manlier. Today, I stay away from women of all sorts because the older i get the less I grow tired and sick of rejection. But so many women still try to throw it in my face subconsciously even when i don’t pursue them and they are the ones pursuing me. I can’t tell you how many times ive had attractive women read my profile on dating sites, write me stating how much they life my profile, have a slight conversation with me that seems to be going somewhere and then all of a sudden get adhd and i never hear from them again. Its as if I can see it coming now because Ive experienced so much rejection that its almost predictable. I am not bashing women. Im just being logical through my own experience. I for one just more content in not trying to be accepted when acceptance should just be natural.

Martin Hearne March 4, 2013 at 1:52 pm

Martin to Mr five foot two

At only 27 years of age, you are still young enough to go for leg lengthening, if you are brave enough and can afford it. That extra few inches will make a vast difference to your life. I am not that much taller than you, but I believe in reincarnation, because I consider myself too old- at 55 years of age- for surgery.
Please do not lose hope. Ask and you shall receive, if you pray aright.
What is to say you will not be taller in your next life.
God answers things in his own time, as sure as he makes green apples.

God Bless.


Matt Savage March 4, 2013 at 3:35 pm

@Martin Hearne

While you have been polite and courteous in this comment thread over the last year, I have realized that you have been essentially hijacking the conversation to push your own religious beliefs/website, along with some other dangerous advice.

I’m not sure if you’re a troll or simply someone who is not prone to rational thought, but you need to stop using my blog post as a pulpit for your beliefs or else I will delete all your comments and block you from the site.

And if you think I’m being unfair, consider the following advice to short men that you have repeatedly given over the past year: 1) Pray, 2) Leg lengthening surgery, 3) Reincarnation

Seriously dude?!

All three of these are completely irrational and opposite of what I was trying to originally convey in my article. The point of the article was that of accepting who you are as a short male and emphasizing your personal strengths. Yet you argue that people should get a risky and painful operation, and then you say that they should also make an appeal to a supernatural entity so that they can be reincarnated as a taller person. How can any rational person take this seriously?

You have not provided any evidence or facts that show that your advice: leg lengthening surgery and appeals to a god would be either useful or have any basis of truth.

I don’t mind people posting consenting opinions or advice, in fact I encourage it, but I can not condone arguments that do not follow reason, logic or rational thought.

Rica March 4, 2013 at 6:55 pm

5’9″ female heer .: Short confident sexy men really impress me when they approach me. So much,the most special men in my life have are almost a foot shorter than me but amazing in every way!!!!!!!!!

Kitty March 7, 2013 at 3:15 pm

Just as men like their boobies and butts in all shapes and sizes, women, too, like their men in all shapes and sizes. :)

Martin Hearne March 7, 2013 at 6:10 pm

Martin to Matt

I understand where you are coming from. Nobody knows for certain, when you pass over from this world, it just comes down to faith. Of course, what I have mentioned is a risk, but so is everything else in life, from driving your car, flying etc- being killed or injured in crashes. There is no guarantee, you will wake up one morning. I do not advocate anyone to take any risks whatsoever, but to weigh up the options first. It is their decision at the end of the day. Like I said before, medical science is improving all the time- they could come out with a miracle drug soon. As for a question of faith, well that is down to the individual. All I do is try and offer hope, and yes it would be great if attitudes do change for the better for short men, which is what I am praying for!
It is entirely up to you, how you respond to this comment.

Truly yours.


Pepe Lepeu March 15, 2013 at 11:53 pm

Wow guys, I’ve spent 5 hours reading most of the posts. I’m 28 years old, 5’4 is my height and I live in El Paso, TX. After reading some of the comments regarding how awful some girls have treated you, I can only empathize with you, but then I noticed that all you are doing is whining. Why would you do that? Right now there is plenty of material to help you get the girl you deserve, get out there and start showing what you are worth. It’s true that women in general like taller men, but remember that there is always the exception to the rule, at least in my case I managed to get a girlfriend who was 4’8 (I personally like short girls with pretty faces). I have three other female friends who I like but it’s the sad truth, they prefer tall men, I know because they confessed (I only kissed one of them but only because she was getting horny while drunk), as to my gf, she and I broke up because shit happened between me and her family (we both liked each other but she had a tall boyfriend who by the way was a dick to her, they broke up and she came to me). I also had a gf who was 20 years older than me, I was her boy toy for several months but it’s also true that the age difference matters to them more than it matters to us men, and yeap as they grow older even if they are very hot cougars, their preferences diminish as they age. I used to be very shy, but then again I lost my virginity at a very young age 13, but still I couldn’t get to talk to my crushes, all I could get was the friendzone even if they knew that I liked them. I certainly bloomed during my 20′s, remember guys: the older the man gets, the hotter he gets (Clooney, Tom Cruise, etc). I noticed this change when 16 to 24 year old girls started having a crush on me, all I did was show some interest and confidence. As for right now, I date short and tall women alike, I was about to marry a very pretty 5’8 girl who was my friend and had friendzoned me a while back ago (when I met her we used to talk about important stuff going on around the world, always show you are an informed human being). And finally YES, I STILL GET REJECTED by all types of girls and society as general, but I don’t let it get me down. I just finished reading The Game by Neil Strauss and plan on getting more courses by PUAs to become more confident around women, I hope to have my feet well grounded when my goal is reached so that I do not lose the reality of it. So please, lose that fear and get the girlfriend you deserve!!!!!!

Mr. Average March 29, 2013 at 7:10 pm

Hi everyone! I’ve read almost all comments and they were really informative. I’m 5’5″, 28yo and I’m from Poland. Let me share my experiences. I used to be very outspoken and social person in primary school and as first sexual interests began to occuppy me and my friends’ minds I can honestly say I was quite popular among girls and I knew that, which only boosted my confidence, hence increased my potential even more and so on. Then, once I finished primary school I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life and went to all-male high school for technicians of electronics. That was the trend for young boys back there and I thought I had future in computers. Ironically I am an absolute humanist. Anyway, attending all-male school was a very bad choice not only career-wise but mostly regarding my future relationships with girls. During highschool I spent almost 100% of my social time with guys, joking, partying, laughing, doing generally very stupid guy stuff. I promise I’ve never laughed so hard and so often in my entire life as I did in highschool. My friends and I were really crazy and did plenty of hilarious stuff. This is the best thing I got from it and boy was it awesome. The downside was – there were no chicks. :( This really hurt my overall ability to talk to girls and just be in their presence without feeling out of my element. By the time I finished HS I was 20. So by that time I should’ve had some serious experiences with girls. I had none. What’s worse I totally lost my previous self and became this shy, short guy who knows his values but never shares them with anyone. I’ve always been very aware of what’s going on around me, had good feel what other people think and I’ve been quite sensitive and emphatic. While I value these features they’ve become an obstacle as I was focusing on what others think, feel etc. rather than on myself, my needs and what I’m good at that I can give others. So I was always winding up shying away from an approach thinking I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t have enough time to ‘reach’ a girl or I just knew better what she thinks than she did. LOL It was terrible because I knew I had the potential to rock the shit out of a conversation, I knew I was smart, I was almost too smart (that’s why you see all those hotties with these dumb guys, they don’t think – they act!). I had few meaningless and brief relationships during my 20s’ which I didn’t even work to establish, they just came by accident. Then I got into a business which completely cut me off from social life. I was working from home, had very limited friend circle for several years and barely met anyone new. This probably subconciously established my belief that I was just this short, shy and uninteresting dude and I’d rather meet my girl when it’s meant to be and not because I’ll make it happen. Fastforward several years and I got over it and seriously lost the pressure to meet anyone just to prove anything. Although I felt the need to meet someone, I barely had sex for several years! Boy am I a Zen Master. At some point, knowing I’m short and girls go for height (yes, they do!), I thought I will have a hard time meeting anyone and I was just discouraging myself more. Sometime during that period I met a girl and I immediately fell in love with her. We met on a friends week-long trip abroad. When I came home I couldn’t stop thinking about her and wanted the whole world to know, whole world besides her. She was obviously into me but was very introvertic. This was the worst combination for us. Needless to say I didn’t fight enough and we never hooked up. I was secretly in love with her for years and just recently let her know what I felt (after being friends for all this time) – you can imagine, she agreed she liked me a lot, but I was never a man enough to do anything about it. There you go! After that epic fail I got over her and said to myself it’s enough – you gotta be a man from now on! So I went out to people. Started taking every opportunity to meet someone, being enthusiastic and positive about it. I rather took pleasure in just meeting people, talking to them, getting to know them. I really wanted to bring back my true personality and I did. What I quickly realized was the more I didn’t care about the result, the better results I got. As I said, I’m very observant and pay attention to what people do and say. I’m no gamer by any means, I think I’m just a fun guy with some wit and great deal of emphaty. I do have a sense of humor and girls laugh in my presence all the time which helps a lot. What I’m trying to say is – forget about your height, focus on who you are, what’s good in you and work on yourself. People like good energy and you can’t have that worrying that you don’t look like someone would like you to look. It’s bullshit! I’ve had number of times when I sit at a bar and start a conversation with a girl out of the blue, like she asks if a place is taken or I ask if she can pass me a straw from the counter or whatever. What’s important about it that when you are reaaally positive-minded and smiling, it really gets you that one more sentence to get it started. That way I’ve chatted up girls that were out of anybody’s league, perfect 10s’. All because I was genuine and really didn’t care which way it went, I was just being kind, positive and smiling. You have no idea what potential you have once you change your mindset. Lots of these conversations were getting sexual within 20 minutes. I could literally see in these hotties’ eyes they could not believe themselves that they were getting attracted to this guy. Their faces read ‘He’s short but hell, I can’t resist!’. Girls are literally overwhelmed with my presence when I’m in the right state of mind, they just can’t help it but give in. I’ve got friends looking like Apollo, tall, handsome, well dressed, hell even smarter, more successful than me and they sure as hell can’t do what I can and I think I’m using only 20% of my potential ATM. It’s all in your head. Sure there are prejudiced people, the shorter you are the harder it is but it’s not rocket science guys. People will start to see you differently when you see yourself differently first. Stop worrying, forget about your disadvantages, they’re not even that unless you want to be a pro basketball player. Focus on who you are and try to be more positive, richer person. Treat people with kindness, smile more, you will see the world you didn’t know before.

tall girl April 1, 2013 at 3:30 am

Thanks Matt for this insightful article. I have been enjoying the comments as well. I’m a tall girl in my early 20′s and at 5’11”. Growing up, I was incredibly self-conscious about my height but I’m starting to own it and walk with more confidence and poise, because it’s part of my identity and I love it.

That said, I have mostly been attracted to shorter guys. My first boyfriend was a few inches shorter than me but was crazy about my height. Now, I’m really interested in a close guy friend who is 5’5”. However, I happened to eavesdrop a conversation he had with a mutual friend who asked him, “Hey, why don’t you pursue a relationship with *tall girl*?” He replied, “No. She’s too tall for me.” There were no other reasons. My heart sank when I heard this.

Anyways – to the short guys – there are girls (both shorter and taller) who would totally go for you. And – don’t let your shortness make you think you can’t be good enough, own it! Though it’s unfortunate that most girls want taller guys, some do come to their senses and see that there are more important things than height. Other than that, I think there are some deeply rooted issues like media portrayal and societal constructs that lead both men and women (though mostly women) to believe that the taller man and shorter woman combo is the only way…and I don’t know what to do about that other than trying to show people that as a tall woman, I can be genuinely happy with shorter man.

Ralph2000 April 6, 2013 at 7:46 am


So, if that showed up and he was 4’8 to your 4’9? Waits…

Kyle May 24, 2013 at 11:52 pm

If you are short move to Miami, 5’6 is tall here and height actually works against you unless they are professional models. I am 6’5 and watch as 5’6 guys with the same resources bed everything, height is relative.

Bill June 2, 2013 at 9:06 pm

What gets me is we would not even be having this chat if short women didn’t exist. There is a good chance that these short women will produce a short son. What kind of advise are they going to give their kid when he comes home crying in the 5th grade because a girl he liked called him a shorty. Women compete with each other. I think the real “short man syndrome” lies in females more so then men. Short girls will shrug off a short man and make him feel like scum, but chances are her father is short and again she might have that short son. Its funny because as a short man I was always the best athlete and always picked first for sports. I am one of the funniest people you could ever met and I think growing up I just never realized I was short. Now in my 30′s it is rough. I have everything I want in life, but the one thing I don’t have control over is my height. Go figure right! Some loser just so happened to be born to grown 6’2 and have nothing else going for him and I being 5’5 really have been blessed except the one thing I have no control over keeps me down the most. Its just funny how we as humans think we have it all figured out and look at the trivial stuff that consumes us. Its all hollywood/media. If they made prince charming a 5’5 guy with a good body then that would be the mold for what girls thought was ideal. All that protection talk is BS. Who fights anymore and how dumb do you have to be to think that taller means stronger. It comes down to high heals. Girls care more about their friggin shoes then a potential mate. We live in a screwed up world, but I will leave you with this piece of advice. That girl that cuts you off because you are not tall enough would find something wrong with you if you were 6 ft in about a month of dating. We like to blame our problems on our height because its out of our control. Sometimes you have to step up and take a long deep look in the mirror and realize height might not be the issue for rejection. Just never take shit from anybody be it another man or a women.

Anonomousey June 7, 2013 at 2:07 am

I am female of average height 5″7… That’s average right? Anyway, I am dating not only a shorter guy but a younger one.. Not relevant I just like that part. I googled ‘I am dating a shorter guy’ because I am now projecting into the future and that is not something I do with anyone but myself as well as I think we look cool together and I wanted to hear what other women think… I am under the impression most are looking for the Casablanca close up.. So anyways, reading this list, I felt the urge to leave a comment after reading the part about taking care of your body. I never thought of myself as being judgy of those less in shape, well that’s not entirely true… But i am surprised to report that it’s absolutely an issue. A while ago My BF was starting to get a little fat and it wasn’t the 7″ difference between us that was distancing me from him and making me second guess the whole thing. Was he too short of too young…? Nope, It was that he wasn’t trying to stay healthy [for him] and look sexy-pants for me. I complained and even started to obsess over my own diet to really rub it in that it bothered me. After closing the kitty closet temporarily and sheeding a few extra pounds myself..I am pleased to report that he got the hint…. And now we are straight back to lovey business. He made a comment about it all that I didn’t believe till I read what that guy said… He told me he does it all for me, I told him not to lie, there must be at least a portion done for the Benefits of himself ie health, flirting with strangers or even the increase of sex with me but he assures me it’s all for me. He is one cool short guy. Oh and more on that last part… We all meet up in the middle so it really doesn’t matter in the end;)

magic dwarf June 26, 2013 at 9:13 pm

I am a pretty short guy. About 5’3. It’s been an annoyance most of my life and I have suffered the many “rejections” that most short guys suffer at one time or another.

That said- I have slept with more women.. beautiful women then I would care to admit to a woman I was dating seriously. More than most men. (Not something I’m proud of).

I have had 6′+ girlfriends (believe it or not, some them prefer shorter guys.. same dilemma growing up, we could relate). Along with short girlfriends, average etc.

I’ve found the biggest problem is not in “height” per say.. but whether your dating/trying to date someone who knows what they want or is comfortable in their own skin.

After the magic wears off a bit, some women start to have issues with it.. you can just tell. Some women are attracted but are more afraid of what other people will say or think than they are of you.

Which brings me to the next part – Shorter guys have less options. That is a fact your just gonna have to deal with. Quite a few women will/might sleep with you, but may never consider you as “marriage” or boyfriend material.

It sucks. But, then there are plenty who will..

Most of my tall friends wondered how I was always getting women. They would regularly ask me for advice .. And I would be thinking “dude, if you even knew what you could bank on” .. People don’t know where they stand in this world. Many tall guys are even less confident than their shorter counterparts (probably because the first part came easier to them growing up). Something I’ve heard echoed by a few women who actually prefer short guys. The first part being.. talking, interacting, initial interest.

SO what was my “trick” ?

Keep your body as proportional as possible- why? – It’s easy to lump you into undesirable labels/generalizations when you don’t take care of yourself. Stumpy, Hobbit whatever.. You do not want to activate those stereotypes when a woman is sizing you up. Some women will be wondering if her friends and family will make fun of her.

So choose a body weight (if you can) and clothing that makes you look like a short.. tall guy.

And that means proportion.

#2 If your really looking to “play the field” .. do something interesting with your spare time or career choice. Start a photography side business, start a technology/website business, screen writer, A&R . You get the point.

Do something that inspires the “your ambitious and I can always use what you do in my own life” self interested reaction (at least to break the ice).

#3 Confidence .. Yea you here it all the time, right? Chances are, you are not confident because you have emotional issues and are a relatively normal person who doesn’t think they do. It’s just that they are more apparent in people who are dealing with more rejection. And if you don’t have NPD, and your not a sociopath there is no “false” self for you to hide behind. (many men are) So how do you become confident?

Learn about psychology. Get some books addressing issues you may have had growing up. This is very important for a shorter guy. Any problem you have can be attached to some demeaning label regarding your height. So a little extra vigilance will keep you in the game.

But most of all – Stop caring what other people think of you. You are you. If you don’t know who you are, you need to figure that out. That is the first step. Keep a journal, or something. You can fake it, but that comes at a high price down the road. Don’t be afraid to break your social “molding” or mores. Take risks. Be willing to fall on your face and get back up smiling. It’s just a ride – enjoy the humor of your circumstances. Make fun of your height, break the “height ice” if you sense some discriminatory undercurrent. That put’s YOU on the attractive level, no matter how short you are.

If someone is going to pull the height card on you, let’s say at a club. Beat them to the punch, make the girls laugh .. and turn it around on them! Make them laugh too (even better).

Be wary though- as a short guy, other guys will get really pissed when you outsmart them.. and they are far more willing to puff up and get violent to “save face”. (some view you as weaker, which is why the cognitive dissonance is so intense when it doesn’t play out that way).

And that is something that most women do not understand. So if your reading this, women.. listen up. Short guys have to deal with a lot more shit from douche bags. Probably just as much as you do.. except instead of getting yelled because we look good-> guys want to fight us or pick us out of a crowd because they think they can get away with it.

We have to toughen up a bit.
Height discrimination is real.

The most recent studies say its even worse than racial discrimination.. It’s just nobody talks about it because it’s a “marginalized” issue .. made fun of. Not important, no political lobby. So yea, some short men will have issues about height. A lot of times it’s not really about our height though.. Its about discrimination.

Anyway, I hope this helps any other short guys out their. And maybe even some women.

-Years of experience.2c

Ralph2000 June 30, 2013 at 6:19 am

magic dwarf,

Your writing on confidence is bullshit. There are plenty of “confident” short men being rejected due to their height. More importantly, “confidence” in its true essence is really other perception of you. I do not care what you do, if you as a short man stand next to a tall muscular man, the women will judge the tall muscular man as more “confident.” Studies have shown that for the most part women infer “confidence” based on physicality.

Ralph2000 June 30, 2013 at 6:22 am

Magic Dwarf,

“Make fun of your height, break the “height ice” if you sense some discriminatory undercurrent. That put’s YOU on the attractive level, no matter how short you are.”

B.S. again. Further, this makes me think you are a woman trolling as a short guy trying get a kick out of short men’s dilemma…

Martin Hearne July 4, 2013 at 4:37 pm

Martin to Ralph2000,

That is true, all that you mentioned in your penultimate e-mail.
When trying to attract women, just try and place yourself in an environment, where some men are about your height or shorter, so as to not make yourself look so insignificant.
It probably will be difficult, depending how short you are.
There is nothing worse, than comparing yourself to other people.
For there will always be people worse and better off than you.
Unfortunately women notice it more than men, which goes to prove how shallow the majority of them are.

Maybe if that does not help, you may have to accept, some things are just meant to be, and just have to accept one,s station in life.

Having a woman is not everything. I have managed without one for 55 years.
There are celibate people like priests etc.
You might have to channel your energies, in a different direction, if you have no such luck.

Hope that is of some comfort to you.


Ralph2000 July 7, 2013 at 3:04 pm


No it does not help and I believe you are a troll…

Martin Hearne July 8, 2013 at 3:09 pm

Martin to Ralph2000

That is your opinion, if you want to believe what other people think.
What other advice do you want?
That is your problem from now.

Martin Hearne July 9, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Martin to Ralph2000

Oh, and another thing.
You tell me what other constructive advice, you have read in this blog post, that may be of some help to you, from other comment threads.
You will find most of them are of a negative nature.
Whereas mine might offer a glimmer of hope.

Martin August 18, 2013 at 7:21 am

Martin to Mr five foot two.

Since my reply a few months ago. There has been a slight improvement in leg lengthening surgery. They can insert a rod in the leg, instead of breaking it, and you can operate it from a battery, instead of having to turn the screws, four times a day.
It is still a risky procedure, where you have a general anesthetic.
I would wait a few more years, because surgery techniques are improving all the time.
The only problem could be the cost. But I am sure it will be worth it.
I would seriously consider it myself-I am 56 now- if I was 30 years younger.

Matt October 2, 2013 at 12:58 am

So, uh, a lot of you guys are sounding like seriously whiny little pussies. Maybe that’s why you’re not getting laid; women generally don’t tend to like whiny little pussies.

I’m about 5’7″, so not as short as some of you fellows, but short enough that I’ve let it get to me in the past. Men and women alike would smell the insecurity leaking from my pores and dismiss me. Now I hold myself like a giant and I look people straight in the eye when I’m speaking to them, and you know what? People treat me like I’m a giant: men respect me, women want to fuck me, and not a damn soul messes with me.

You don’t need to be a tall guy to make a big impression. Nobody can make you feel small without your consent.

Trey October 5, 2013 at 12:15 pm

Why the f*** are girls so attracted to taller guys?! There’s no damn extra protection. Most tall guys are weak. I mean, I’ve been workin out for only 6 months, and while I way 164 at 5’9, I already bench 250. Meanwhile, I’ve yet to meet a single guy over 6 feet tall do that. I know they exist – powerlifters, Arnie, etc, but they just aren’t that common. Most tall guys I know can barely bench 135 even though they weigh like 180. And then the wrestling mat. Nothing makes me happier than when I find out my next match is against a tall guy. Whether in Greeco-Roman or no holds barred. I know it’s gonna be an easy win. Every time. Even when I’m going against people in higher weight classes. So why the h*** do women feel safer around these weaklings?!

Sammie October 15, 2013 at 8:39 pm


5’7 is 2 inches below average, seriously…

Matt October 16, 2013 at 1:20 pm


The grass is always greener, right? You can always bemoan how much worse you have it than someone else, but that’s not really productive. I’m shorter than average, it sounds like you’re shorter than me, and someone else is shorter than you. That’s just the way it is. You can hate yourself, or you can hold your head high and rock whatcha got. Your choice.

guzjackjoy December 17, 2013 at 4:52 pm

I am 5’7″ and just started dating a guy that is 5’4″ he is into bodybuilding, very fit and we are same age. However I had always said I would never date a shorter man. But so far he is pulling it off very well. not sure still what will happen.

Renn December 22, 2013 at 7:22 pm

I’m 5’8″ so not short, but short is really dependent on the height of other men around you. Since I live in New York, which is full of tall guys, I am considered ‘short.’

Truth is, I like my body, I go to the gym, take care of myself, I feel confident. I’m decent-looking latino guy. I have a pretty masculine presence, wide shoulders, big muscles, trim stomach, so I take pride in that.

The problem I have is that I don’t like tall girls. Tall girls disgust me. I really feel attracted to petite, smaller girls, especially brunettes. But I always get tall, blonde-looking girls taking an interest in me, which is the opposite of what I really want.

All the latina girls I see are going for tall guys and the tall girls seem to be going for shorter, latino men (from my observations). I guess this is good if you like tall girls (I guess I should be thankful that someone likes me, but still it bothers me — I’m sure I’m not going to get much sympathy).

Anyway, I just wanted to state certain facts that women should be aware of —

You can thank short men for all the hot petite girls out there. If you want to have hot daughters, marry a ‘short’ guy. The daughters of tall men tend to be equally tall, awkward and with bad bodies. Short men also tend to have better bodies than tall men. It’s a fact. We’re also sexier in terms of raw sex appeal and sexuality, higher testosterone levels. If you don’t believe me, look at the average short guy and look at how muscular he is compared to the average skinny, weak tall guy.

Ed June 10, 2014 at 3:38 am

Thanks Renn you are pretty much right, if you go back to an earlier post you will notise that the countries that are known for having attractive men have average heights of well under the 6 foot which is considered as so desireable in Western countries. Short guys for the most part don’t really need to juice either.

Tom June 10, 2014 at 4:27 am

Some of you guys are kidding yourselves. Women love tall men (6ft +) and openly discriminate against us shorter men, regardless of looks, physique and personality. Being a tall is the male equivalent of a woman having a pretty face – you’re going to attract a lot of attention from the opposite sex if you’re a tall man because you just appear protective and authoritative.

I agree it’s not fair but I’ve just come to accept it. I’m 5’8 and have been turned down a fair number of times by women because I was too short for them (they actually had the gall to say that to my face!). Just look around and you will see the 6’2 guys have hot girls beside them whilst the short guys are with the ugly/fat chicks.

Natural selection.

Martin June 11, 2014 at 5:41 am

Martin to Tom

I agree life is not fair. I am only about five six, so am shorter than you; but I believe it will not be forever. Height discrimination will not end in our lifetimes,; but I firmly believe I will be taller one day. People are getting taller, over the generations, so obviously women will raise the bar and apply a stricter criteria. 60 years ago five eight was acceptable, but Britons are on average 4 inches taller since then, so that makes your statement for six foot about right.

Ed June 14, 2014 at 12:45 am

I would have thought being in good physical condition would mater far more than height, one thing you can’t change is height, why worry about it.

Ed July 13, 2014 at 10:40 pm

Never really knew heightism was an issue until I came across it on the net although from time to time have encountered mention of the napoleon complex. It does appear that the sale of insoles and height increasing shoes is on the rise, one wonders if some of this is being perpetuated by the media. I would have thought that it should be more acceptable to insult overweight women, as that is something that can be changed. Height is something which has never really bothered me. Quite happy being 5”8/5”7, wouldn’t mind giving insoles a try, probably might help in a crowded room or bar.

Jodi July 15, 2014 at 1:00 am

I discovered this article because I search” dating 5’0 ft tall guy” and what very interesting and eye opening reading the experiences of short guys. I realize I did have a height complex but I changed my views. My height is 5’1 and I have a crush on a guy that is 5’0 and it would be great if I could date him. His height is not the problem instead it is all my issues , illness, anxiety, family life. etc. But if in future I end up dating him or another short guy that be ok with me =)

Gabe July 20, 2014 at 6:45 pm

Being taller implies that they MIGHT and are more likely to have bigger dicks. Usually its not the case but it plays a role in female hedonistic psychology. Guys who are tall and confident means in the girls head………….OH YEAH….ITS BIG.

I will settle for a nice confident ugly fat woman….but wait…….there are hardly any of those. And thats because im very attractive and 5’4”-5’5”. Women just are pathetic and exploitativly selfish.

Anon July 28, 2014 at 10:31 pm

>6. The Average Woman is Shorter Than the Average Man

Excellent, so I have access to the surplus of smaller ladies. This surplus is obvious: Tall women are in demand, guys totally dig chicks that are taller than them, so there’s a surplus of smaller ladies going around.

Oh wait.

Fortunately I’m comfortable with #7. “Can’t be helped. Game over, you lost, bad hand sir, happened sometime around conception.”

Claudia August 4, 2014 at 11:28 pm

I am a woman in a relationship with a guy way shorter than I am. I am an inch away from being 6ft tall and he is a couple inches over five ft. We are very funny looking. I love him though. At first I thought “no, this could never work” but then I started to realize that I liked him a lot.
I used to be very self conscious of our height difference when we held hands in public (since we also live in nyc) but as time went on I’ve grown used to it. Dating a guy thats wayyy shorter than you can have it’s difficulties (snuggling on the couch, dancing) But if you love the person and want to be with them, you can make it work.
I just never ever thought I’d ever be with a guy so much shorter than I am, but I started to like him so much than I became more open to the idea of us being together. So..
I don’t think height matters too much. I guess it just depends on the person.
I mean I would date a guy a couple inches shorter than me without thinking twice about that height difference. Especially because I am already a tall girl.
I wasn’t open to dating my current bf at first because our height difference is so extreme that I thought “this could never work” “we would get picked on so much”. But here I am today, with my man, a whole head shorter than me.

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