Do You Produce Value Or Consume It?

by Matt Savage

Hey everyone, today we have a special guest post by David Black from the Social Masters blog. Enjoy!

Hey guys, David Black here from Social Masters. I want you to think about this for a second: Are you a member of the audience, or a leading actor in life. Guess which ones get all the girls…

Do you produce your own value and your own enjoyment. Or does the majority of your enjoyment comes vicariously from watching others doing amazing feats, be it through Films, books, or being a passive observer in real life situations?

Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it’s nice to sit back, relax, and do nothing :-). As with anything in life, a little bit of harmless fun can be bring some enjoyment.

Bottom line: The more value you produce, the more attractive you will be to women.

What made me think of this?

I was watching TV (whoops, I shouldn’t have said that…) when I seen an advert for a program called ‘Scream if you know the answer’. It’s YET another reality program that pits YET more “My career is dwindling so I must do some weird ass reality show to get back in the limelight” celebrities to take part in the most bizarre quiz ever.

In this case they they get strapped into a roller coaster and have to answer questions whilst being thrown about like a rag doll. WTF I know, you just can’t make this shit up.

It got me thinking. Why in god’s green earth would you want to watch washed out celebs getting thrown about in a roller coaster, when you can go to your nearest theme park and actually get on the ride yourself? I mean seriously, who would want to sit and watch someone on a roller coaster when it’s really easy for you to do it yourself?

That is why me and the girlfriend decided to go to ‘Alton Towers’ recently. Well that and the fact it was her birthday :-). See my first thought to seeing this advert was, “I am going to get out there and do it, not just sit and watch it”. This is what I mean by producing value – going out and creating these experiences for yourself.

How many people do you see on a night-out just watching others have a great time instead of getting stuck in and having a good time?

I remember, before I could attract women, I would go out and just sit and watch other guys have all the fun with hot girls. It was like I was being entertained by it, but also it felt terrible, cos I wanted to be those guys so badly myself.

Think about the kind of guys that are active, value givers, value creators. Let’s list a few of them:

  • Actors
  • Musicians
  • Artists
  • Sportsmen / Athletes
  • Writers
  • Film Directors
  • Entrepreneurs

Now look at this list, and ask yourself: Do these kind of people, in life, struggle to get women attracted in them, or do they, for the most part, have a large number of options when it comes to choosing a partner/girlfriend/wife.

On the whole, women love these kind of guys. A large part of this stems from the sheerly tremendous amount of value these guys exude. They are entertaining millions (actors, musicians, directors, athletes), or providing hundreds with jobs to feed their families (entrepreneurs), or they are giving thousands of people deep, meaningful insights into life (writers, artists).

They are active. They have gone out in life with a mission. They have grabbed life by the balls and achieved. Women love this.

Now I’m not saying we all have to go out and be rock stars, or billionaire businessmen. No.

But what we can take from all this, is the attitudes and behaviors of these kind of guys, and internalize them. By doing so, we will have women enraptured.

Let’s take a quick look at the differences between a ‘producer’ kind of guy, and a ‘consumer’ kind of guy:

Producers:

  • Take responsibility for their own lives and success.
  • Realize their flaws, and work to overcome them.
  • Give things.
  • Pro-actively strive for a goal.
  • Are constantly improving themselves.
  • Want to be the best.
  • Are grateful.
  • Make other people’s lives better.

Consumers:

  • Blame others for their lack of success.
  • Make excuses.
  • Take things.
  • Re-actively get caught up in the day-to-day of life.
  • Have accepted their ‘lot’ in life.
  • Are happy being ‘mediocre’.
  • Are ungrateful.
  • Rely on other people to make their lives better.

The list could go on and on, but you get the idea. Now take a long hard look at yourself, and ask: which one are you? If you see more of yourself in the consumer category, maybe it’s time for a change? If you want women chasing you across beaches like a deodorant commercial, then that’s what it’s gonna take. Man up.

I’m not saying you should stop watching all forms of entertainment and never be passive. No. We all like to have the odd passive moments. It’s totally natural, and all part of the balance of life. Anyone who tells you they are ‘on’ all the time is either lying, on drugs, or crazy (or in some cases, all three).

The danger comes when you let yourself get carried away with being passive, and it becomes a habit. We are not sheep, we are men. We are leaders. Others watch us, others look to us for what to do. Others follow us, and wish they were more like us.

I hope this article has given you some fresh insights, and added some value to your life. Now take what you’ve learned, be proactive and go create something awesome… today.

Speak soon,
David Black

{ 14 comments }

Richard | RichardShelmerdine.com May 3, 2010 at 9:47 am

Producing more value than you take will give many amazing thing to you in life and continue to benefit people after you die. That’s the most amazing thing about it.

David Black May 4, 2010 at 11:52 am

Absolutely right there Richard. A great way to approach life is to consider the legacy you will be leaving behind when you’re long gone.

dadshouse May 4, 2010 at 1:51 pm

This is one reason I hate online dating, and prefer real life experiences. If I go wine tasting or sailing – even if I don’t meet a woman in the process, I will have new knowledge or a great story to tell when I do meet that woman. I have a buddy who is pretty nerdly, but is a total wine afficianado. When we hit the tasting bar, he attracts women like crazy, just because he is so knowledgeable. He adds value to their wine tasting day.

David Black May 5, 2010 at 7:51 pm

@dadshouse: Online dating can work if you do it right. I commented on one of your own articles about this, but the basic format that works is this: Online -> phone -> meetup. Search for David M’s Insider Internet Dating, which is where this process evolved from.

You’re right about having great experiences. Multiple benefits.

Vincent Ignatius May 10, 2010 at 6:28 am

One of the first things I did when I started learning game was give up television. I never thought about this way. I was going through a process of self-improvement and television seemed to be one of those things that was destroying value in my life.

David Black May 10, 2010 at 12:27 pm

@Vincent – yeah man, television is a big value drain, huge. Most TV shows have little or no value to any of us. It’s just shit to fill up the gaps between sleeping, working and eating. Breaking away from that is really empowering, so props for doing that.

I never watch TV. Occasionally I will watch an episode of Lost, but that’s on my own time, streamed down as and when I want. No adverts either.

Films are a bit better, but there is still an endless sea of crap out there. IMDB top 250 is a good starting place if you want to develop a good taste in films but that’s another story entirely.

You still need entertainment in your life, or you’ll go crazy. So I’m not saying don’t own a TV or anything like that. Just do whatever you do with mindfulness and a sense of proactive purpose, and you won’t go far wrong.

ShedCat May 11, 2010 at 12:54 am

I think this article has many ideas that, though related, are not quite the same. Below are a few that increase your value as a person, but the focus of them is not about getting women.

  • active in your life, with a goal, instead of having no ambitions
  • create versus consume in the sense of reduction of consumption of media
  • create versus consume in the sense that you go and do sports instead of watching them on TV (or other examples, such as rollercoaster)
  • create versus consume in the sense of driving conversation and entertainment instead of relying on others

As regarding attracting women, you all seem to assume that being a “cool guy” automatically leads to women, but is this true? I think the last one is the only one that will really work in that sense. I know lots of guys who are active and go out and do things, but are antisocial.

Matt Savage May 11, 2010 at 9:31 am

@ShedCat,
You raise a good point however I think it’s important not to throw the baby out with the bath water. There are certainly guys out there who are “cool guys” and lead very successful passionate lives but still don’t attract many women or have many relationships. I think for these guys, there one hang-up is simply that of approaching and escalating (social anxiety), and once they can develop those simple skills they already have enough inner game to sail through the rest of the way. All they needed was a simple kick in the ass to do simple approaches.

David Black May 11, 2010 at 6:38 pm

@ShedCat: I thikn that ‘cool guy’ and ‘anti-social’ are polar opposites. You can’t be both.

Yeah this article focuses on value, and it does not, in isolation, lead to attraction in women, otherwise we’d just go out in the real world and hand out Resumes of all the cool shit we do/have done. Life is more complicated.

My overall point is, you could be the smoothest guy in the world, but if your life is value-less, then appeal would any girl see in that beyond the superficial?

I agree with Matt when he says that guys that lead great lives just need a bit of coaching in order to be really successful with women.

It’s the guys who come to us, who live with their parents, have no job, and are just ambling through life with no direction that have the most work ahead of them. Work that is way beyond, “Approach her, now approach her, etc” bootcamp style coaching.

Vincent Ng-Conversation Arts May 29, 2010 at 3:27 pm

I think it’s a great post because no matter where you are in your dating life, or if you have a girlfriend or if you’re married you still want to be able to provide value and be a producer. I think that often guys think that it only starts with dating but providing value is a way of life.

@David Black and @Matt Savage. Before I took my first dating bootcamp, everything else seemed in order. I was going out with friends, was reading a lot of different self improvement books, and had a pretty active social life. But learning to be attractive is the same as learning to do sales, it’s not always natural. But when both are done right, you are providing value for all the people you serve.

Great Post, I’ve just subscribed to your feed. Looking forward to all your future posts.

Vincent Ng-Conversation Arts

David Black June 1, 2010 at 11:02 am

@Vincent: Great point about always being a producer. I agree 100%. Glad to hear you subscribed, look forward to hearing your thoughts on future posts of mine.

Will December 29, 2010 at 6:05 pm

This is my personal seduction affirmation list. It’s mostly to help me be successful with women but also has a lot to do with having self-esteem, confidence and a healthy psychological state of being. Feel free to use it and share it with others. It took me a long time to build this list and I have found it extremely helpful. Using these affirmations has forever changed my life and I’m sure it will change yours too!

Everything in your life has to do with your psychological state of being. You are your thoughts and your thoughts are you. Change your mind and you change the world. Your external reality is nothing more than a reflection of your internal reality. Do not look out there, look within. Work on your inner self and inner world first then everything else will change for the better.

Perception is Reality. How you perceive the exterior world determines what your experience of it will be. These affirmations may seem outrageous because they are. Embrace them absolutely and completely, trust me on this one! The human mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and imagined. Being “delusional” is how you get good at life.

Beliefs of Naturals – My Reality

Read 3 times before bed and in the morning(do it for a for month) Record in the second person. Play recording on a loop continuously at a low volume(whisper). Play recording during the day and at night while sleeping.

1. Being with me is the best possible choice for any woman.

2. Women love men and especially love me.

3. I love life!

4. I am God. I am Perfect. This is my universe!

5. I am fearless, courageous and bold!!!

6. I read incredibly fast!

7. Women love sex and want sex from me.

8. My intelligence, creativity and potential is infinite!

9. I am exceptionally social and outgoing.

10. I am completely focused, organised and use my time with the utmost efficiency.

11. Women are nurtures and pleaser’s who want to nurture and please me.

12. I am an infinitely self-assured, confident, sexual and dominant male.

13. Everyday in every way I am better and better!!!

14. I have complete control over my life, mind and psychological state of being.

15. I am the greatest genius this world has ever seen.

16. I heal instantly!

17. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I exude infinite sex, power, confidence, happiness and self-love all the time.

18. I can be, do and have anything I want to in this world, my possibilities are endless!!!

19. I love myself! I am complete, fulfilled and completely happy!!!

20. I am growing more beautiful and luminous day by day.

21. Everybody loves me and all women want me! I make friends easily.

23. I access all the knowledge in the universe.

25. I am completely irresistible to women!

26. Regardless of how she is reacting to me she is getting aroused.

27. I see the underlying truth in all things.

28. I am an adventurer! I travel the world!

29. Regardless of how she is reacting to me I am the prize she is trying to win over!

30. I am a multi-millionaire and master seducer!

31. I love what I do and am richly rewarded, creatively and financially.

32. I have a perfect photographic memory! I recall everything easily.

33. Since she wants to have sex with me, the power is in my court to decide whether she lives up to my standards and expectations. I get to decide if we have sex.

34. I create my own reality!

35. Today I love my body fully, deeply and joyfully.

37. Today I open my mind to the endless opportunities surrounding me.

38. Prosperity surrounds me, prosperity fills me, prosperity flows to me and through me.

39. I have sex with super hot, confident, loving, caring and intelligent women with genius IQ’s all the time!

40. I think positively every day, all the time.

41. I attract amazing people.

43. My body is now trained to burn fat and build muscle day by day.

44. I have a six pack of abdominal muscles.

46. I am filled with the light of love, peace, happiness, power, success and joy every day, all the time.

47. I am aggressive, direct and powerful with the women I desire. I radiate a confidence, self-control and charm that women find irresistibly attractive.

48. My mind is focused on what I desire and I go for it congruently and powerfully.

49. I take immediate advantage of my opportunities with women. I swiftly establish incredible rapport, gather the information I need, then close with aggression, power and finesse.

50. I radiate a natural, easy self-acceptance that women find irresistibly attractive.

51. I am mastering the responses, attitudes, behaviours, insights and timing that bring me irresistible power with the women I desire.

52. I am now approaching women that I am attracted to.

53. I am able to pick up and attract any women I desire.

54. I am a strong, powerful, aggressive, dominant, alpha male, leader and conqueror!!!

55. I am smooth, charming, interesting and fascinating!!!

56. I have a perfectly sculptured muscle ripped body.

57. I am super hot and sexy, all women want me!

58. Abundance is my natural state of being!

59. Money comes to me easily and continuously from multiple sources!

61. My IQ and intelligence increases daily rapidly!!!

62. I have clear beautiful skin!

63. I have lucid dreams and recall all my dreams with complete clarity!

65. All things are now working together for good in my life.

67. I rule the world! I am brilliant and perfect in every possible way!

68. I succeed in everything I do!

69. I have sex with one thousand super hot women!

70. I am now enjoying everything I do and feel happy just being alive.

71. Sex with super hot women comes to me easily and effortlessly.

72. All things are now working together for good in my life.

73. I have the infinite creative power of God within me.

74. I am a Bad Boy, Player, Natural and Ladies Man!

75. I am a Sexy Beast! Everywhere I go women want to fuck me!

76. I have sex with supermodels daily.

77. Supermodels have an incredible desire to fuck me wherever I go!

78. I attract whatever I desire.

79. I am the most desirable man in the world. I am God’s gift to women.

80. Supermodels and incredibly hot women proactively, persistently and aggressively seek me out to fuck me.

81. Beautiful women are extremely persistent with me for sex.

82. What I believe is reality. Women experience me as extremely intoxicating, exciting and addictive.

83. I am a catch and out of her league, any woman that’s with me is very fortunate to have my attention.

84. Beautiful women are extremely attracted to me on a deeply subconscious level.

85. Women are perverted creatures who are always trying to fuck me.

86. Every morning I wake up in bed with twenty supermodels.

Attitude of the The Prize

You got to be a bit self-centered, a jerk and an asshole. The difference between nice guys and Alpha males: Nice guys place a woman on a pedestal, Alpha males place themselves on a pedestal. Just be Alpha and dominant. Chicks dig 50 Cent not Steve Urkel. Alpha males love themselves more than they ever could any woman on this planet. Always remember that you are more important than any woman on this planet regardless of how physically attractive she may be. You have high value and she has very low value. You are the Prize she is trying to win over. Perceive the world the same way Brad Pitt does, every high valued quality woman wants you but they’re just not good enough. Every woman on the planet wants you so why settle for the first thing that comes along? Your attitude should be:

“I am a catch.”

“I am out of your league.”

When I became self-centered, that’s how I got good with women. Always talk down to hot women!

Behave around hot women and talk to them as though they have very low value. Perceive her as a fat ugly chick. Talk to her and carry yourself around her the same way you would to a fat ugly chick. You are a catch, she should be trying to win over your approval!

Know that there are only ever two steps to follow to figure out anything in life.

1. Ask yourself “What works?”

2. Become that!

Matt Savage January 3, 2011 at 11:21 am

@Will,

That’s a pretty good list but also really long and I wonder if it’s counter productive to have so many affirmations. I mean do you feel that the actual repeating of this long list to yourself is enough to make it sink in? If so, how often to you make these affirmations?

Will January 4, 2011 at 10:05 am

Yes, I agree this list is too long to read and repeat through out the day but it is ideal to create a subliminal tape. I read the long list once in the morning and once in the evening. As I said before, record an mp3 in the second person of the list as in “You are a Babe Magnet” instead of “I am a Babe Magnet” You can then play it at a low volume(whisper) through out the day and night and your subconscious will absorb it even though you do not consciously concentrate on it.

Here is shorter list to read though out the day.

Beautiful women are extremely persistent with me for sex!

Everybody loves me and all women want me.

I am a Sexy Beast! Everywhere I go women want to fuck me!

I am a catch and out of her league, any woman that’s with me is very fortunate to have my attention.

I am the most desirable man in the world. I am God’s gift to women.

I am a strong, powerful, aggressive, dominant, alpha male, leader and conqueror!

I exude infinite sex, power, confidence, happiness and self-love all the time.

Beautiful women are extremely attracted to me on a deeply subconscious level.

I am a Bad Boy, Player, Natural and Ladies Man.

Supermodels and incredibly hot women proactively, persistently and aggressively seek me out to fuck me.

Women experience me as extremely intoxicating, exciting and addictive.

Women are perverted creatures who are always trying to fuck me.

Every morning I wake up in bed with twenty supermodels.

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