Hey everyone, today we have a special guest post by David Black from the Social Masters blog. Enjoy!
Hey guys, David Black here from Social Masters. I want you to think about this for a second: Are you a member of the audience, or a leading actor in life. Guess which ones get all the girls…
Do you produce your own value and your own enjoyment. Or does the majority of your enjoyment comes vicariously from watching others doing amazing feats, be it through Films, books, or being a passive observer in real life situations?
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it’s nice to sit back, relax, and do nothing :-). As with anything in life, a little bit of harmless fun can be bring some enjoyment.
Bottom line: The more value you produce, the more attractive you will be to women.
What made me think of this?
I was watching TV (whoops, I shouldn’t have said that…) when I seen an advert for a program called ‘Scream if you know the answer’. It’s YET another reality program that pits YET more “My career is dwindling so I must do some weird ass reality show to get back in the limelight” celebrities to take part in the most bizarre quiz ever.
In this case they they get strapped into a roller coaster and have to answer questions whilst being thrown about like a rag doll. WTF I know, you just can’t make this shit up.
It got me thinking. Why in god’s green earth would you want to watch washed out celebs getting thrown about in a roller coaster, when you can go to your nearest theme park and actually get on the ride yourself? I mean seriously, who would want to sit and watch someone on a roller coaster when it’s really easy for you to do it yourself?
That is why me and the girlfriend decided to go to ‘Alton Towers’ recently. Well that and the fact it was her birthday :-). See my first thought to seeing this advert was, “I am going to get out there and do it, not just sit and watch it”. This is what I mean by producing value – going out and creating these experiences for yourself.
How many people do you see on a night-out just watching others have a great time instead of getting stuck in and having a good time?
I remember, before I could attract women, I would go out and just sit and watch other guys have all the fun with hot girls. It was like I was being entertained by it, but also it felt terrible, cos I wanted to be those guys so badly myself.
Think about the kind of guys that are active, value givers, value creators. Let’s list a few of them:
- Sportsmen / Athletes
- Film Directors
Now look at this list, and ask yourself: Do these kind of people, in life, struggle to get women attracted in them, or do they, for the most part, have a large number of options when it comes to choosing a partner/girlfriend/wife.
On the whole, women love these kind of guys. A large part of this stems from the sheerly tremendous amount of value these guys exude. They are entertaining millions (actors, musicians, directors, athletes), or providing hundreds with jobs to feed their families (entrepreneurs), or they are giving thousands of people deep, meaningful insights into life (writers, artists).
They are active. They have gone out in life with a mission. They have grabbed life by the balls and achieved. Women love this.
Now I’m not saying we all have to go out and be rock stars, or billionaire businessmen. No.
But what we can take from all this, is the attitudes and behaviors of these kind of guys, and internalize them. By doing so, we will have women enraptured.
Let’s take a quick look at the differences between a ‘producer’ kind of guy, and a ‘consumer’ kind of guy:
- Take responsibility for their own lives and success.
- Realize their flaws, and work to overcome them.
- Give things.
- Pro-actively strive for a goal.
- Are constantly improving themselves.
- Want to be the best.
- Are grateful.
- Make other people’s lives better.
- Blame others for their lack of success.
- Make excuses.
- Take things.
- Re-actively get caught up in the day-to-day of life.
- Have accepted their ‘lot’ in life.
- Are happy being ‘mediocre’.
- Are ungrateful.
- Rely on other people to make their lives better.
The list could go on and on, but you get the idea. Now take a long hard look at yourself, and ask: which one are you? If you see more of yourself in the consumer category, maybe it’s time for a change? If you want women chasing you across beaches like a deodorant commercial, then that’s what it’s gonna take. Man up.
I’m not saying you should stop watching all forms of entertainment and never be passive. No. We all like to have the odd passive moments. It’s totally natural, and all part of the balance of life. Anyone who tells you they are ‘on’ all the time is either lying, on drugs, or crazy (or in some cases, all three).
The danger comes when you let yourself get carried away with being passive, and it becomes a habit. We are not sheep, we are men. We are leaders. Others watch us, others look to us for what to do. Others follow us, and wish they were more like us.
I hope this article has given you some fresh insights, and added some value to your life. Now take what you’ve learned, be proactive and go create something awesome… today.