Effects of Drinking Alcohol on Attracting Women

by Matt Savage

effects of drinking alcohol
We are sitting in the Cafe Dumonde, sipping cups of cappuccino and laughing with friends. In our company are two cute older women my friends had picked up the night before. It’s after noon and we are all struggling from the previous night’s drink fest. This is my trip to New Orleans.

Later, as we walk down the street I over hear one of the girls talking about me to my friend.

“He’s a real cool guy, nice smile, but… is he an alcoholic?”

“What, why do you think that?” asks my friend

“Well, it looks like he’s starting to get that puffy face look that most older alcoholics have when they’ve been drinking for along time.” she says

Whoa! Talk about a shocking statement. My head is immediately swimming with thoughts on the effects of drinking alcohol has had on my game. Do I really have a puffy face?

Alcoholics and Their Puffy Faces

You guys know that alcoholic puffy face look that I’m talking about? Just walk into any neighborhood bar and take a look at the older guys and gals in their 40s and 50s that are regulars. They all have that bulbous looking red nose with the cheeks of a blow fish.

There’s a reason why drunken cartoon characters are depicted like this:

credit: Dick Gautier

Actually that’s W.C. Fields, a well known famous drunkard. It’s his puffy faced big red nose look that you can often see in the many dive bars across the world. It’s the face of an alcoholic.

Now, I don’t look anything near this; I’m quite slender in fact, but the mere mention of the onset of puffy face syndrome is enough to make me take notice and rethink my drinking lifestyle.

Alcohol Is The Ultimate Cock Block

Do I drink a lot? I’d like to say only on occasion but who am I kidding, I’ve been going out to bars four nights a week trying to pick up women; of course I’m drinking alcohol.

Most of the time I do alright with controlling myself and not getting carried away. However, there are those occasion where I do lose control and it’s not pretty.

What’s worse is when you’ve attracted a girl early in the night so that you have a chance to take her home, but then you end up getting so sloppy that it turns into a deal breaker.

This, in my opinion, is the worst kind of cock block. Here’s an example from my New Orleans trip:

I’m in the VIP room of a popular bar on Bourbon Street and I’m getting pretty flirty with one of the shot girls. Not the fake flirty either, where they’re shaking you down to buy shots. She actually agreed to come back to my hotel after her shift; not to mention the make-out in the corner and her constant grabbing of my crotch.

So my plan for extracting this cute girl is to simply wait it out until her shift is over. Here’s the problem, her shift doesn’t end for another four hours and I have already consumed a fair amount of booze. This will not end well.

Of course, I get way too drunk, start mumbling incoherent babble while walking diagonally across the floor. The girl loses interest, ignores my slobbering advances and by the end of the shift I see a blurry vision of my cute shot girl walking out in the arms of another dude.

Creating Better Drinking Habits

“It’s time to start practicing what us big boys call self control.”
-Peter Venkman

I’m willing to admit, I have a problem with alcohol. With some of the stupid messed up things I’ve done, my sometimes inability to stop drinking, and my genetic disposition towards booze (thanks dad); it’s clear that I have alcoholic tendencies. So what the hell do I do?

  • There are many pick-up artists who claim they go out to bars all the time without drinking a drop. I find this hard to believe and even harder to attempt. The sole purpose of a bar is to drink; it’d be difficult not to. This is probably an unlikely option.

  • One friend mentioned a good method of keeping control at the bar. He would order a big glass of water every time he ordered a drink. This way you are keeping hydrated while also filling up your stomach so you don’t drink as much.

  • I could quit altogether. I have given this some serious thought and it’s on the table. It would however mean a big lifestyle change. Much of my social life takes place at bars and quitting would probably mean replacing a large chunk of my social circle, which would be difficult. It’d also mean diving head first into day game, something that most say is easier anyways.

I have a lot to think about.

How do you guys deal with the effects of drinking alcohol on your game?

Any other advice on alcoholism in general?

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Richard | RichardShelmerdine.com April 29, 2010 at 6:02 am

Haha great article and so true. We have a guy who is in the local we go in every night, about 45 and he looks like that cartoon you have there. Scary.

Challenge April 29, 2010 at 6:24 am

Alcohol in monkeys reduces aggressive behavior in the dominant male, and increases aggressive behavior in the non-dominant ones. It’s a social staple because it helps the majority of men compete socially with the ones at the top. The source of the inhibitions you’re letting go when you drink: social hierarchy.

You don’t need alcohol anymore.

But sometimes it’s convenient to have a drink in your hand. Furthermore, you want to support the establishment. Non-alcohol drinks that look like you’re drinking:
-7-up
-Rum and coke without the rum
-water on the rocks
-red bull

The best excuse to give the bartender? “Hey, I’m driving tonight. How about a …” In many spots in LA, they’ll give the designated driver free non-alcoholic drinks.

TAllagash April 29, 2010 at 10:42 am

i’ve been faced with those above options. i sat down and wrote down the number of times in the past year alone i could recall alcohol had caused either person strife or cockblocked. After a couple pages I quit. I had made the necessary point ot myself. I also looked at my bank statement and added up what % of my income I spent on booze in one month.

It was appalling.

and yeah, the consideration of the social circle i would have to lose is probably something i hate to acknowledge. making better habits again is problematic…b/c years of habit are always one too many drinks away from taking over.

Matt Savage April 29, 2010 at 10:49 am

@Richard,
Yea it’s definitely scary when you realize that those barfly type guys that have been going to their local pub every night for the last twenty years all end up having the same weird bad skin puffy face look. It really makes you think, especially if you are one of those guys in your early thirties, you better take notice because it could be you or anyone.

@Challenge,
I’ve never heard about that social hierarchy reversal thing before but it makes sense. For instance you always notice smaller looking guys getting more aggressive when drunk and often larger guys become more relaxed chilled. Pretty interesting.

I’ve been trying the Red Bull thing and that seems to help a lot with keeping you alert and awake, but my only concern there is that the caffeine is a diuretic and will contribute to the dehydration effect of drinking.

@TAllagash,
I like your exercise in writing down all the times alcohol has done harm to myself, other people, cock-blocked me or spent too much money. I’m going to do this tonight. I’m sure seeing it on paper is going to be a wake up call. Thanks for the tip.

Mad Jack April 30, 2010 at 8:07 am

When I first started going to bars and drinking, a nice older lady put me wise to alcohol and how to handle it. Since I started following her advice, I’ve very rarely had a problem. She told me to drink something like scotch and water because of the hydration. Secondly, and this is important, alternate one or two tall glasses of water without ice for each drink. One beer, two waters. You’ll stay sober enough to drive and function in any kind of emergency that might come up.

If you think you have a drinking problem and it isn’t the problem of not getting a drink, go on the wagon for two or three weeks and check your own reaction. If the craving for a drink is too much for you, then get it under control and get back to your game.

And, by the way, your story about New Orleans is interesting. I’ve spent a fair amount of time on Bourbon Street, and I’d never let myself get loaded in the Big Easy. It’s a violent place, and although it’s better than it used to be, it still isn’t all that safe.

Jason April 30, 2010 at 6:07 pm

I want to say that it IS possible to go to a bar without drinking. I do it. I’m not a big fan of alchohol so I drink pretty rarely. When I go to a bar I’m drinking iced tea or diet soda 95% of the time. And when I do drink, I nurse it, as when I do choose to drink, I rarely have more than two and never more than three. So its definitely doable.

David Black May 1, 2010 at 8:25 am

You don’t need alcohol to be social Matty boy, that’s an illusion. You can go to bars and not drink, unless the only reason you were going there in the first place was to drink… You will get ribbed constantly for not drinking alcoholic beverages, but you can handle that I’m sure.

Brandon May 1, 2010 at 9:16 am

How about you meet in the middle and only go out 1 night a week and replace the other 3 nights with daygame. That way you get the best of both worlds.

JRsun76 May 2, 2010 at 8:25 am

I see how alcohol has affected my game in the past. I seem to do fine when Im sober anyways. Im not sure why I drink when I go to the bars, maybe because I feel like I have to. I watch my friend mess up all the time. I keep telling him- what would you rather go home with, snatch or a hangover? Easy choice for me, but he doesnt get it. I think the drinking used to work better for him a few years ago when he could just fall over on a drunk girl and get laid. But that doesnt last forever, our looks change, our self-conception change, hopefully we want better quality women.

Yeah, that puffy face thing is scary. It seems like it happens regardless to some people, but not taking care of yourself will speed that up. Im 33 and I look like Im 25. I hardly drank alcohol at all during my 20′s, drank 4 liters of water a day, vegetarian diet, and regular exercise. I used to get a lot of shit for not eating McDonalds or KFC, but a healthy lifestyle is way more rewarding than putting all that stuff in your body later in life. Plus, the benefits to inner game. It helps to be firing on all four cylinders.

Vincent Ignatius May 10, 2010 at 6:22 am

It all depends on the person. I feel slightly less inhibited when I’m drunk, but people can’t usually tell I’m drunk unless I’m so sloshed that I’m stumbling. I know men who have decent game sober, but pretty good game drunk.

Getting drunk regularly will give you the puffy face, but merely drinking daily will not. Keep it under 3 drinks and you’ll be fine. Take fish oil capsules to reduce puffiness, and take vitamins before a night when you know you will drink a lot.

robjones May 18, 2010 at 7:11 pm

Sadly, been there, done that. Even if you’d had just a tad more self control and managed to get the shot-girl home… enough alcohol can make getting there a bit… ummm… anti-climactic so to speak.

Well written blog Matt. Gonna have to check in again.

Btw – If you’re ears are burning, check the forum. Made ya famous. :-p

Stoner with a Boner July 3, 2010 at 1:53 am

hahahahaha-

you wrote a blog about testosterone- sorry to say- alcohol reduces it, so does marijuana.

I know many guys use both as a crutch for seduction-a. the ladies seem more relaxed and b. it gives the illusion of confidence.

Well, ya don’t need it and for me it was most fun sneaking around underage. Paying $5 for a drink seems like extortion. Personally don’t like bars unless some good bands are playing or it is also a restaurant.

anonymous July 26, 2010 at 10:48 am

well man again i share your concern.
me it s simple:
if i don t drink i m so boring that it s make me laugh.
i am a smart guy. not drinking put me in a mood of ” what a superficial place, stupid woman with no brain. what about our existence? meaning of life. all this is so stupid. the necessary comedy of meeting, speaking, seducing make me feel like stupid.
I m sure i can lower the overlal atmosphere just being there with that mood.

Now give me a double vodka and the desire driven animal goes out.
beleive me i m good in those moment. i get pervertion in my eyes, speak and make teh girl confortable. in my mind i m the alpha one over all. girls like it.
I got very nice shot in the pasts. very gorgious girls.

Now timing is essential.
and apart some situation where the girl also drunk with me, or when i could get her quick in bed – or kissed,
the issue is that i have a 1h30 credit of top feeling and behaviour.
then it decrease
after 2h / 2h30 i get normal plus with no conviction.
after this i get bored and you can put an amazing girl in front of me, the only goal in my life becomes a good piece of grilled meat and go to bed.

I didn t find yet the solution as i dont want to go to drog scenario.
before lately i know that i have a 2h credit with a triple vodka.

Then best till now solution is for me to start with wine – 2 or 3 glass and to keep available little bottle of vodka in the jacket or car if things goes serious with the girl.

Like you i don t recall how many situation i broke becausei was out of scope and girl was disappointed..

THKS

Miles August 29, 2010 at 2:35 am

Hey, I really liked this article, never thought about the social reconstruction thing you were talking about but i don’t really believe it. I see Alphas becoming more Alpha and the followers begin to stick up for themselves. Overall I think all people lose inhibition.
That’s why alcohol is great, and terrible. I have recently learned how to control my alcoholism. Sad part is I am 20 years old I drank heavily 4-5 times a week for the last 2 years. And I will be the first to tell you, alcohol has a lot to do with getting laid. My friends provided alch for girls plenty of times, that allows their presence. However my booze-hound friend got laid more than anyone i have ever seen, and he did so while breaking doors and punching through walls. He is the epitome of the fall over on a chick and get laid.
Honestly, with the 10 times I have actually been to a bar, I notice the same aspect but in a different way. The reason my friend got laid so much is because he got noticed. At the time when you are fooling around with sluts that’s all they want. But there are both positive and negative ways to be noticed.
If you just puked your ass off or are saying the kind of jokes that should only be said in close circles of friends, and you know the ones I am talking about. Then alcohol has killed your game.
If you are using alcohol to promote your self esteem and make you the center of a girls attention, more power to you. Although using alcohol for confidence is not healthy in the long run, it does help for meeting people.
And honestly, the girls who are at the bar know what they want, alcohol provides the necessary distraction for your inhibitions so you can actually introduce yourself and flirt.
The bad part is when alcohol destroys the flirting aspect and turns you into a train-wreck. I have been there plenty of times.

So the focus then becomes on getting snatch, not a hangover. Or making a good impression on a classy woman.

Steve February 7, 2011 at 11:29 am

It kinda goes like this, You control alcohol until you take that first drink, then alcohol controls you.

DoesNotMatter December 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

Day Game, Day Game, Day Game. The bars are too loud anyways

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