I‘m chatting up a cute young girl at the bar. Things are progressing nicely. I’m in the middle of arranging a date when I’m interrupted by a rather drunken belligerent acquaintance.
“Hey Savage, man, don’t fucking talk to this girl! She’s a fucking whore!”
Holy shit. Talk about an awkward moment; not to mention that this has to be one of the worst cock blocks in the history of man.
The mood in our little corner of the bar goes from light and fluffy to thunderdome levels in a matter of seconds. I slowly back away.
“Hey, if you have a problem with me, you say it to my face!” she shouts to my intoxicated cock blocker.
Naturally, this sets off a heated argument between the two. There’s no chance of me getting any action tonight. The mood has been killed… with a vengeance.
I stand back with the rest of the on-lookers and try to piece together the reasons for the argument.
Apparently, this girl had a one night stand with the guy’s best friend. Because the guy’s best friend is such a “nice guy” he felt that he didn’t deserve to get pumped and dumped by this girl. Thus, his reason for calling her a whore in the middle of a crowded bar.
resentment – a feeling of anger or displeasure stemming from belief that others have engaged in wrongdoing or mistreatment
Of course, this guy was totally out of line for a number of reasons. First, he blocked my cock, not cool dude. Second, his hatred toward this woman, for reasons that threaten his belief system, is completely unfounded.
What good does it do a man to harbor resentment toward a woman in this manner?
Back when I was an average frustrated chump, desperately trying to find a girl that would give me the time of day, I held a similar resentment toward women. Not so much to call them whores, but there was definitely some troubling thoughts stirring in my head.
How could these women keep hooking up with these scumbag frat guys? How do they not see what a great guy I am? etc. These are the types of questions that would run through my head. They are also the types of questions that were holding me back.
The problem with resenting women is that it doesn’t get you anywhere. All the bitching and moaning just causes you to become bitter and jaded. Your negativity will show and it will repulse those women you are trying to attract. Complaining about the complexity of a woman’s behavior and thought process is futile at best.
So my question to you readers, what should I have done in this situation? How do you deal with this kind of guy?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I have no idea how to deal with that kind of guy – and I just thank my lucky stars that a guy hasn’t come over and called me a slut in a public place because I am fairly certain I would have cried (am a wuss/delicate flower).
There is an Ally McBeal episode where Ally defends a young guy who was out on a date with a girl and her exboyfriend came up and he called the girl a slut. The young guy broke exboyfriend’s nose and Ally tells a date later that she appreciated that kind of chivalry. That a guy would stand up for his date’s honour. And I kind of get that, I don’t condone violence, but I don’t think anyone should be allowed to walk up to some one and call them names.
Wow – apologies for the rambly comment.
Step in between him and the girl. He’s actually talking to you not her. Don’t let her get riled up, just say to her “actually, he’s talking to me” and SMILE dangerously as you push her behind you.
Maintain direct eye contact with him, but keep a relaxed body stance and say, loudly and firmly “I’ll talk to whoever I like… How would you like this to play out?”.
Then you just hold eye contact and wait for him to either leave, or if he throws a punch its 100% clear he was the aggressor. Usually the eye contact suggests you will fight him, but the relaxed body stance means you aren’t about to attack him either. The longer he stands there trying to figure out what you are going to do the dumber he looks and then the bouncers arrive and he’s redirected away.
Couldn’t agree more on the worthlessness of allowing oneself to become bitter and jaded. I don’t take anyone who is guilty of this attitude seriously. I file them in the “may as well be insane” file and move along. I hold anyone who has become this way responsible for not protecting themselves well enough to prevent this way of thinking. I find it lazy, weak, projective and very, very beta.
@Athol Kay,
Uh yea, I really wasn’t about to get into fighting mode as the guy is someone I’ve chatted with in the past and though he’s not a regular friend, I’d rather not have escalated things too aggressively, besides the guy is about 8 inches taller than me, so… I think the better move may have been to diffuse the situation before it got out of control.
lol this article is damn hilarious but also very true. That’s an epic cock block. I’d just move away with her but maybe it happened really quickly.
This is seriously hard to deal with. I think I would have just been speechless.
I think the best way is to de-escalate non-verbally, but firmly. For instance you could look him in the eye and say, firmly “Don’t speak to her in that way. It is disrespectful” – or something similar. If he then starts getting abusive – just stand your ground, keep eye contact, and repeat similar stuff. Ultimately, he’ll realise he’s being an idiot, and back off.
If you’ve ever seen “Kiss of the Dragon” – there’s a scene where jet li tells a pimp not to do THAT again to the hooker (who he just hit). He’s totally non-threatening, but he has real power.
I personally wouldn’t threaten violence – I think women are far more likely to be impressed if you can be assertive and defend her honour without acting like a thug. This isn’t hollywood!
I would have totally went off on that guy. What an ass!
Yea. I probably have a LOT of resentment towards women, but I’m never vocal about it. And if my bro got a 1 night stand with a girl I’d just give him a high five, but there’s no girl in my school we’d ever seriously consider dating long term. All the girls in our school are self-centered, bible-thumping, hypocritical, preppy sluts. I’m guessing you can sense my resentment :/
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