It’s been four days of abstaining from masturbation and I feel like I’m going to explode. The first day is always the hardest, days two and three usually aren’t bad, but once you get to day four the buildup of sexual tension begins to bear down so much that the slightest breeze is cause enough for an erection. Why put myself through this torture? Simple, to understand the effects that male masturbation has on his ability to attract women.
It’s a self experiment, let me explain. There is a theory floating around that basically says that if a man abstains from ejaculating he will be more likely to pursue and attract females. There are a few different thoughts on why people might believe this, ranging from fluctuating testosterone levels to general horniness. Lets explore further, shall we.
Personal Masturbation Experiment
During the last year, I’ve been attempting to go on and off in my personal masturbation habits. Some weeks, I try to abstain from wanking and some weeks I treat my body like my own personal amusement park. Obviously, abstaining from masturbation is the more difficult of the two tasks, however, with a little will power I managed to pull off a week of no ejaculating here and there, enough to make some general observations about my behavior as it relates to the dating world.
The first noticeable observation when abstaining from masturbation was that I was definitely more horny. No big surprise there. However, I believe that having that feeling of pent up sexual tension helped me to approach and talk to more women, as well as be more sexual around them. For instance, as opposed to approaching and having a casual friendly conversation, I was likely to use more sexual innuendos and be more direct about my intentions.
The second big observation from abstinence was my level of motivation. Not just motivation to go out and meet women, but my motivation to do other productive things in life, like exercising or writing for example. This was the complete opposite on weeks where I masturbated on a frequent basis. I’d just sit around the house all day watching TV, surfing the web and…uhh masturbating.
Effects of Ejaculation on Testosterone and Sexual Activity
What is testosterone?
a potent androgenic hormone produced chiefly by the testes; responsible for the development of male secondary sex characteristics
Essentially, testosterone is what helps makes a man a man. It’s responsible for developing muscle and overall body fitness, not an unusual trait in an alpha male. Also, it helps to charge the male libido and sex drive.
So what’s testosterone have to do with masturbation? Testosterone is produced in the testicles and when you ejaculate you are releasing or using up some of that testosterone. This is fine when you are having intercourse with your desired partner, that is the whole point after all, but not fine when a chronic masturbation habit is leaving you drained of testosterone and limiting you from your true sexual potential.
In 2003, there was a research study done on the testosterone levels in males during certain periods of abstaining from ejaculation. It found that there was a gradual increase in testosterone levels during the first five days but on days six and seven there was a huge spike, up to a 147% increase in testosterone on day seven. After day seven, testosterone levels returned to normal, thus indicating that seven days is the effective number of days to abstain from ejaculating in order to hit peak levels of testosterone.
In another paper published in the Scandinavian Journal of Psychology, a group of male rats was studied during post-ejaculation and sexual exhaustion phases. One of their findings was that, after 4 days, only 63% of the males were able to show sexual behavior while after 7 days all males were getting it on in a giant rodent orgy. Again, this indicating that seven days is the optimal time between male ejaculation periods.
From my personal experience, I’ve noticed that usually between days five and seven of abstinence, are also the days when I’m able to get more make-outs or bring women home, usually as a result of being more motivated to sexually escalate those interactions.
The Loaded Gun Theory
If you’ve ever watched the movie, “Something About Mary”, you may remember the following infamous scene:
The Loaded Gun Theory states that by masturbating before going out to meet women will leave you calm and relaxed as opposed to nervous. Supposedly, this calm and relaxed state will keep you from doing something stupid and hence aid in the attraction process.
In my opinion, this is the wrong way to look at this. You want to have a loaded gun! You are an alpha male, you are a hunter in search of your prey. The nervousness only comes from the stereotypical Ben Stiller character and not the extra baby batter. If anything, the pent up sexual demand seems like it would make you more confident and motivated in your female interactions.
The Seinfeld Abstinence Theory
In one episode of Seinfeld, George quits having sex because his girlfriend has mono. This now lack of sex causes George to become motivated to learn and turns into a genius. The theory being that without the distraction of sex on a man’s brain, he’s able to focus his thoughts on other more productive pursuits.
I think this theory only has it half right. I don’t agree that abstinence will relieve the distraction of sex, but will actually amplify it, at least in the short term. As someone who has gone for more than seven days without ejaculating, I know that it’s almost impossible not to think about sex. However, despite that sex will likely always be a distraction for any red blooded male, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t an underlying psychological self improvement motivation factor involved in abstinence. I’ll talk more about this next.
Effects of Ejaculation on Dopamine Levels
What is dopamine?
a monoamine neurotransmitter found in the brain and essential for the normal functioning of the central nervous system
Dopamine has many functions in the brain, including important roles in behavior and cognition, motor activity, motivation and reward, inhibition ofprolactin production, sleep, mood, attention, and learning.
Essentially dopamine, manufactured in the brain, has a whole bunch roles in how our nervous system works. It’s also particularly important in orgasms. When we ejaculate our brain releases a bunch of dopamine acting like a euphoric drug producing an orgasm. However, as the above definition states it also effects the function of other areas of the nervous system which are vital to our daily living like sleep, mood, learning, motivation etc.
Dopamine as stated above, is used by our bodies as a reward mechanism. For instance, when we eat something that tastes good, our brain rewards us by releasing a small amount of dopamine, thus helping to create and reinforce behavior which the body believes is good for you. The same is true of sex, as humans beings we are hard wired to procreate. And the only way to procreate is to pursue sex with the opposite gender, which we will be rewarded by a huge release of dopamine (an orgasm) when successful.
It’s also important to note that when dopamine levels are low and depleted, it will have an adverse effect on other areas of the central nervous system which rely on dopamine to function properly. For example, in one study published in the American Journal of Psychology, it showed the effects of male volunteers who had their dopamine levels deliberately depleted over a 42 hour period of time. During that 42 hours, the normally healthy social males experienced negative symptoms like obsessive-compulsiveness, thought disorders, social anxiety and depression.
So, one could say that too much ejaculation, to the point of depleting your dopamine levels on a regular basis, is going to have an adverse effect on your daily lifestyle.
Savage’s Theory of Behavioral Ejaculation Reinforcement
If a man is motivated and pursues the act of becoming an alpha male, he will attract desirable females. This eventually leads to sexual intercourse with those desirable females and is rewarded with orgasms. This reward reinforces the alpha male behavior that was needed to attract a desirable female in the first place, prompting the male to continue the traits that helped him become alpha, thus perpetuating the cycle and continuing the supply of desirable mates.
If a man is lazy, unmotivated and relies on masturbation as his main form of sexual activity, he is unnaturally creating a false reward for traits that are undesirable in potential female mates. This false reward tricks the body into thinking that it is pursuing alpha male qualities when in reality it is pursuing beta male qualities. This cycle also perpetuates itself by continually being satisfied with the act of masturbation rather than the pursuit of desirable females.
Conclusions on Male Masturbation
If you are still with me, you probably might think I am completely against male masturbation, but I’m not. For one, this is a very debatable topic and I’m sure many readers will offer up evidence supporting masturbation as perfectly natural and acceptable, and please by all means add to this conversation, as I am very much in pursuit of truth like any one else.
For now though, I’m sticking to my theory that regular masturbation on a daily basis will have an adverse effect on my ability to attract women. So, I’m personally sticking to the “7 day cycle.” The concept is that I abstain from masturbating and if I haven’t had sexual intercourse within seven days, then I’m allowed to masturbate and relieve myself. This allows for the testosterone and sexual motivation to increase throughout the week and hopefully peak around the weekend when I’m more likely to be out on the prowl.
Has anyone else experimented or noticed any personal changes when abstaining from masturbation for a long period of time? Any other thoughts, opinions, criticisms, verbal lashings? Leave ‘em below in the comments. And if nothing else, please think of the kittens:)
Update May 1st, 2009 – I have written a follow-up to this post here: Misconceptions of Male Abstinence and Ejaculation Theory
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{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice! But man, a whole week, seriously? Dude…
A friend of ours went to a spiritual retreat in India a year ago and was telling us about it… and he said there were no phones, no email, and no sex allowed. Then he turns to me and me and says… ” and no masturbation either!” Darn it. He and Jennifer both agree I’d get booted pretty fast.
I just want to add this… for all the guys masturbating without lubricant, do yourself a giant favor and get some lube. seriousl, you’ll be glad you did.
If you’re not sure what lubes are for or which to go with, check out our recent video on this: The Lube Review (What Everyone Ought to Know About Sexual Lubricants).
Have an awesome day!
– Dan
Masturbation is a natural thing yes. Just like, releasing stress through other activities, this is just as comparable. Although, I do agree with the fact that the more you masturbate, the more you become complacent.
That in turn will lead to being naturally less attractive. If you hold out, like Savage is saying, it will increase your motivation, and (reading this somewhere) will release more pheromones on your body when you go out and meet women – and women will instinctively pick this up.
I say the odds are in your favor when you masturbate less. But in the end, if it doesn’t work out for you that weekend or night, you should release yourself and try it again.
Eventually, it’ll become a cycle and it won’t hinder your general lifestyle. I’m hoping all of this made some sense…
A side note here… If you want to attract women, you have to believe down to your core that you’ve got something worth buying so to speak – you have to accept yourself and nurture – and radiate – a true inner confidence.
THAT is absolutely magnetic. Any good salesman will tell you that you can’t sell something you don’t believe in, at least not well.
And be aware of how you make people feel, that’s what they remember most about you, how they felt at the time. If they’re happy, laugh, and have a great time, guess who’s going on a second date.
– Dan
About 2 years ago I wasn’t getting laid. I had lost my virginity a year prior, so I had the taste, but couldnt close the deal in the new enviroment (college).
I went over 3 months, yes 3 months, without busting a nut (I had maybe 3 or 4 make outs during that time, nothing beyond that with women).
After the first week, I was more motivated to go out, and did so accordingly. After the first 3 weeks, motivation amped up even higher, including in the gym.
After about 5 weeks…well it was all downhill from there.
That motivation turned to eagerness, and in turn I became nervous and jerky (and walked around with a woody every time I saw a hot chick).
So ya, a short story I thought Id share! (note-began getting laid about 3 months after this little abstinence).
-Dream
Some boxers try to abstain from sex or masterbation in the months and weeks leading up to their fights. This increases testosterone and pisses them off b/c they aren’t getting any pussy.
Athletes have long tried to abstain from sexual activities before games perhaps because of the dopamine levels.
There was another episode of Seinfeld, or perhaps the same one, where Elaine was dating a musician. She witheld sex from him for a while, and when she finally gave in he started sucking it up on stage.
@ Dan,
Yea dude, 7 days is tough, but I think once you get used to it, it’s not soo bad. I don’t know what you have to worry about, don’t you have the lovely Jennifer to take care of your needs:)
@ Infinity,
I do think it’s a natural instinct to masturbate, but doing so on such a frequent basis, as in once or twice a day doesn’t seem natural to me especially if one is masturbating to porn or other such visuals that lets say a caveman wouldn’t have had access to.
@ Dream,
Wow, three months is crazy! It’s interesting to note that you said after 5 weeks it all went downhill. I suspect that there is definitely some sort of interval period where a guy just has to ejaculate.
@ Chuck,
Yes, this is another topic that has been widely debated specifically by top end athletes. I know that Mohamed Ali used to abstain from any kind of sex or masturbation for a month before any of his fights.
I believe the Seinfeld you are talking about was the same episode, but it was an unlicensed doctor who she withheld sex until he passed to doctor exam. As a result she had the opposite symptoms as George, becoming really stupid because the bags of trash were piling up in her head.
I can say that I do not have too much trouble not masterbating. There have been periods where I have gone longer that 7 days, mainly because my mind is focused on other things.
Although I do wonder if having an hot girlfriend makes me calmer and looking for the next day to unload.
This site has a number of articles that describe the so-called “neurochemical hangover” after orgasm, and the interplay between dopamine and prolactin, a hormone related to feelings of stress and irritability, and the likely culprit behind post-coital male laziness and female bitchiness.
These guys quote a hangover period of two weeks for recovering addicts, which I guess are guys who want to swear off orgasm forever… (?) This is apparently how long it takes for prolactin levels to return to normal. After that, the authors of the site recommend something called karezza, which seems to be a technique for delaying orgasm, wrapped in a bunch of new-age and Hindu spirituality jargon.
I’ve personally found that my most “on” nights in recent memory have occurred after between 7 and 10 days of will-powered abstinence. It’s a tough hill to climb, but the view from the top and the subsequent tumble down are pretty awesome.
Hey man,
Interesting theory, it may be that I have much higher levels of testosterone than most guys, but I’ve tried the abstain from jerking thing for about a month at a time and saw REALLY bad results similar to what Dream experienced, I was so nervous around girls, and horny it was EXTREMELY physically uncomfortable.
There’s also a decent amount of medical literature that suggest daily ejaculation protects the prostate from cancer.
My 2C.
Good to see some real research into something most guys just blindly follow.
Best,
S
If I am understanding this correctly you lose your built of testosterone when you ejaculate. With that being said, men don’t have to actually ejaculate to orgasm; you could masturbate without actually “blowing a load”.
I remembered back to the concept of being a male and stacking orgasms. A friend of mine not to long ago showed me a book that he had found about being better in bed (I can’t remember the title of the book to save my life). One of the sections was about increasing stamina and being able to have multiple orgasms. The basis of the technique is to be able to reach climax and then halt your bodily reaction by flexing your PC muscle.
The PC muscle is a thin strip of muscle in your falice. The muscle is used to push the flow of sperm through and out. A secondary use of this muscle (which the technique is derived from) is when you stop yourself from peeing. For instance, you have a great urge to pee but you aren’t by a bathroom and you flex your lower torso and you feel constriction on your penis. You are flexing you PC muscle and stopping the flow of urine. The entire technique is based off the flexing of the PC muscle. The process was you use is based off a scale of pleasure from 1-5 (now these stages are general feelings that you decide for yourself). I vaguely remember the steps but they were as follow:
1. Erection
2. Begining of sex/masturbation
3. Starting to feel pleasure.
4. Mid-range pleasure.
5. Climax
This technique takes practice to “perfect” so you are recommended to start at a lower level to strengthen your PC muscle. The recommended starting point of the technique is Stage 3. Once you achieve stage 3 you are supposed to flex your PC muscle. Now this can be achieved by either by flexing your muscle as you were to stop yourself from peeing or to firmly grasp for penis under the head and squeeze. If you do the latter of the two practices you will need to add enough pressure that you experience a receding feeling. After doing this you may be less erect and will need to work it back up. Now you repeat this process a few times and then move on and do it at stage 4 a few times. After you get a hang of slowing the flood flow and build up you procede to the final phase. You continue sex/masturbation until you are almost at the tip of climax and then repeat the step above. If done properly you will actually have a slight orgasm. You may excrete a small amount of semen, but you will not completely ejaculate. After this is done you can procede to have sex for theoretically as long as you want, because it will take a fair amount of work for your body to build up another ejaculation.
This technique given, I believe it would be possible to masturbate and not lose your testoterone because you aren’t fully ejaculating. If everytime you masturbated you did this you should retain your testoterone. If that is the case its a win-win situation, you can still masturbate have an orgasm and keep your manly chemicals.
Great article. What I think deserves kudos is the attention to personal, empirical observations. I’ll throw a few of mine own personal observations out there just to add to the discussion:
- After abstaining from 4-5 days, I’m definitely hornier and feel greater incentive to go out and meet girls
- Like someone else mentioned, I think I perform less well around girls when having abstained (Loaded Gun Theory) because I’m much more anxious. The lack of masturbation makes me want to go out, but I lose my social finesse; if I whack it before a first date, I’m MUCH calmer and things always go smoothly. (And I wait until Date #2 to physically assert myself with the girl anyway.)
— Although a lack of masturbation causes me to do worse around women when I’m out, a higher frequency of real sex causes me to do much better; there is an added element of confidence that is missing from the former and present with the latter
— To further my point, there must be a further physical difference between masturbation and real sex. My own observation is that after masturbation I feel tired and empty; after real sex I feel tired and emotionally very happy. Obviously some chemical is causing this difference
- Masturbation, esp daily, leaves me feel tired, washed out, and unmotivated. Though it’s fun at the moment, I lose both my productive momentum and my initiative to pursue other pastimes. I think, if I remember right, there was a chapter on this phenomenon in “Think and Grow Rich.” During periods of abstinence, I feel a drive and creativity that, when applied to a project or pursuit, leads to both a sense of accomplishment and real accomplishment
- Too much internet porn over time has actually become boring to me. There is so much pussy on the tube that I literally started getting bored looking at pretty, naked girls – this alarming fact is what ultimately led me to try to reduce my masturbation frequency
- Also alarming is that it seems over a long period of time, I sort of psychologically duped myself into pursuing less attractive girls in the real world because I knew I could see hot girls on the net
- After 5 or so days of abstaining, I noticed that sex became less important to me (seemingly following the 7 day graph above). After about 5 days, I felt almost asexual
Actually, the more I do it the more apt I’m am to be horny for more. When I haven’t been laid in a while, it’s not a big deal. But once I get it, gotta have more.
I don’t know if I’ve ever really done your experiment justice, but in my experience with masturbation, I’ve had very different results.
There were a couple of stretches in college where I had temporary long distance situations or I was on campus during a break when most other people weren’t where I was pretty much cooped up in my room all day by myself bored. As a result I had stretches of multiple days in a row where I would crank it literally 5-8 times a day. I found that i would actually become horny more easily after a point, like my testosterone levels were elevated to a sexually aroused state and never really went down, or maybe my body was depleting testosterone too quickly and as a result it started overproducing testosterone. I’ve had similar experiences when I have been in relationships and done like a weekend by ourselves etc. I suppose it could also be due to some kind of addiction biology. Just theories, I obviously wasn’t measuring test levels in the blood, but that was definitely my experience.
Fascinating stuff….TMI though
Whats your opinion on masturbating to porn?
Ive gone under the believe that it creates a mind attachment to the future and keeps you out of your body. So when you hit the field your body is in the future predicting sex and in the past guilty of masturbating all at the site of the beautiful woman(women) simultaneously. Get back to on that.
Plus ive noticed i stopped masturbating for months at a time and my body was insanely silly and powerful and i was so sexual id feel like a sexual chocolate strawberry while in class. But ay thats just me.
My experience goes according to the diagram of testosterone levels. Without realising it, after I got broadband internet, I developed a porn addiction and I would masturbate daily, or every other day. Once I realised it actually made me feel bad and “drained out” I decided to go on abstinence for as long as I could. The first days were like hell, but after 6-7 days, I stopped having the urge to masturbate and got more energetic with everyday activities.
What was surprising to me was that after the first peak, as the weeks went by, I never felt the strong sexual “urge” to masturbate nor was I really horny. I didn’t even have morning erections and that got me worried. Just before I hit the 2 months mark, I masturbated just to make sure I was still able to do it properly. And it went fine. From then on I kept for the most part a 1 per week schedule which seems to be working the best in terms of relieving me and letting me feel drained out.
I was talking to Ron Jeremy once and had a crazy conversation with him…Anyway, he told me at one point that Peter North would be celibate for an entire month before doing a scene and this is one of the main reasons he is able to do his “epic” money shots…Don’t know if I could ever go a month without sex or jerkin’ it though…Luckily I haven’t really had to do that
This was a fantastic read that I can sincerely relate to.
I have already attempted my own abstinence regiment before reading this, and can honestly say that I am a much more out going guy a few days after my last ejaculation. A man can really feel good about himself if he doesn’t masturbate. Of course, I’m comparing the progress that I have made to what I used to be; which was a chronic masturbating teen.
Ever since I stopped masturbating every day, everything in my life has improved. My confidence, my body, and my overall enjoyment of life has increased ten fold from what it used to be. I still masturbate occasionally, and will try your routine— “The Seven Day Cycle”.
I really liked your article, and will be checking in to see what else you write.
Great stuff DUDE!
I will try a report back..I remember after awhile i couldnt do it cause my parents house and psycologically drained that I wasnt thinking about it.my verbals and swagger was more calibrated with my interaction…women have radars on their fucking heads
I totally agree with the theories presented at the very top. I had notice some time ago the effects of masturbating and not masturbating, and true as it is on the fourth day it becomes really hard not to masturbate. All those testosteroens are building-up and it must be releases however I have notice in m own body the changes that occur while I abstain from masturbating. I become more active, I exercise more, I also concentrate more and emotionally I feel better although I do go up in flames if I see a hot girl walk by, nonetheless my mood and stamina increase during the days of abstinence.
And I most certainly agree that as my testosterones accumulate so those my desire to sexually interact with the female gender, instead of being neutral and talk about usual daily things I flirt much more and feel more sexually excited meaning my confidence rises and so does the urge to hunt for “prey” lol
Funny enough, when you masturbate your testosterone levels go down, but when you have sex, they dont. Theres a study on this, but I couldnt find it to link it here.
Actually, when you are having regular frequent sex, your testosterone goes up.
So how can the body tell the difference between ejaculating during intercourse or doing it to porn?
Germanico, it could be psychological. But then again there could be some mechanism that identifies two type of ejaculation. As I mentioned before, I feel more energetic and my test go up during abstinence but all of this had occured long before I had any knowledge of it, it was until recent that
I had discovered what many others experienced and knew. However in my personal experience having sex and ejaculating result in the same “drainage” only difference is that physical interaction is psychologically more rewarding.
In that “take the bullet out of the chamber” movie the guy was giving the protagonist BAD ADVICE because he was also after the same girl.
Yes, it is better to go out with a loaded gun.
And speak to women! Make approaches, accept social risks, escalate, and let her hold that gun. Let her start imagining firing that big loaded gun.
And do not eject without rejection.
Jerking off should be the embarrassing consolation prize that you give yourself after going out and making 100 approaches.
Really a week without masturbating? That’s easy. Longest I’ve been without masturbating was 8 weeks. Yes, 8 weeks! Why you ask? Just to see could I beat my old record of 6 weeks.
Listen up hunks! Act like a man and start developing self control. you know life without masturbation has much more interesting things to offer. Each and every person masturbates once in his lifetime. This takes place mostly due to peer pressure, stimulation and loss of self control. Discovering masturbation is completely normal and natural, but continuing or practicing it as a habit is totally abnormal and risky. We guys are always interested in girls! this is perfectly natural and cannot be abstained from. but listen up guys, only those boys are preferred by girls who abstain from masturbation. the consequences of masturbation are numerous and benefits are NONE!
i have to concur that after a couple of days of fighting the urge to jerk off, i am far more direct and willing to make sexual innuendo with the women I meet. I also, however, find myself more willing to eject when logistics and/or her feedback does not seem like SNL noise on my radar.
I have experience. Masturbating is very dangerous. I was masturbating for more than 20 years and i regret it. Now i have health problem ,headach,chronic fatigue,chronic bachach, flu,cough,problem witheyes, memory problems, impotence, …all kind of disorder.
In the beginning you can not notice it. in beginning(one year,two,three,four,five…) at end of the day ,you will regret.
modest
I keep experimenting with this idea and I find that the advantages of not masturbating outweigh masturbating even though occasionally you can be a little too high energy.
For me i want to know one thing .How to stop with this humiliating and bad habit of mastabating? I have mastubated for years , But i assure ,you come to know about the consequenses of the habit when it is too late
Now how to stop? How to stop?
claude
I have a feeling modest and claude are the same person…
Anyway great article dude I’m gonna try this cycle starting… tomorrow
Is there any difference if your GF jerks you off? I’m either screwing her or shes jerking me off or blowing me on a daily basis. Is the testosterone effect the same?
I’m a doctor and although I prefer not to provide such private information on a site such as this for better reasons that to do so still, it seems that its better to explain about this topic once and for all. Have you ever hear of the two sayings one by the church and the other by non veteran doctors that; age of consent for sexual … is 16 years of age for boy and girls and that, masturbation is good for people since blah blah since why its is not important when it is not important to do so at all. The thing is that, the church wants you not love people men and woman too much since if you did you actually is loving god less and this is it all what the Bible (A pointless book with better alternatives for it) is saying about this but christianity is a bad religion to start with. Secondly, if you did obey the age of consent law then the only way to although badly mimic the conditions where you have broken that law is to masturbate. Here is the point though, if you have had done so brocken that particular law then, you will today stand up as a winner living at the top (not lonely at the top since there are woman for you at the top for example) as a natural player who have had the proper one of the keys turned for a person to bring that great inner player inside almost all men which, depend only on how mensa you are.
This writing is an absolute gem. Everything I have experienced personally… I tried to abstain 8-9 days regularly. And I had (no kidding) a lot of indicators of interest from women. They do approach and talk to me, even though I do not approach them at all. About the end of the week, I sometimes feel like I can run 100 meters in 10 seconds, like a kung-fu fighther, a boxer or whatever… Too much tension sometimes brings loss of concentration. Beware though, if you already produce too much testosterone like me, younger than 30, when you abstain it peaks and some guys become hostile to you. No kidding. I am absolutely serious.
Forget about the church. It seems like you did not understand what is happening to me. Masturbating has created problems to my health. I started since i was 17 and today i am 40. The damage is really huge. And i regret why i learned from a friend this bad habit. It is not about the church but about my health. Some problems i face due to this very stupid habit:
a) chronic fatigue
b)headach
c)flou
d)cough
e)kidney problems
f)weak erection(caused twice to divorce with my partners)
g)Eyes problems
i) Memory problems and lack of concentration
q) infertility(when i was 17years i produced children with two of my gils friends but when i get maried at 28 could not .)
I talk to some doctors online who know the effects of masturbating. I have to spent regulary 50$ to buy herbal products to correct the problems i have created for years. But it can be possible only if i stop also masturbating ,a habit in which i have becam as addicted to. I know many other people who have the same problems like me .
kambe. Thanks
I love the part “you should have a loaded gun” that made me laugh so hard man, you have no idea! Good advice!!
McDonalds = Junk Food
Masturbation = Junk Sex
This is such a deep post on this topic.
Nobody really talks abou this and yet
it’s super important too.
I’ve jacked off every day since I was
10 or so.
I’ve been mulling this over for a while
now too. This gives me even more to
think about.
I agree that this is a topic worth exploring in relation to PUA. I have been experimenting with abstinence from orgasm and I have noticed personal benefits. Although I have experienced some of the nervousness mentioned after about a month, I have also noticed periods of clarity. It seems like a lot of guys trying this experiment experience this anxiety and it might have some explanations.
It could be the result of repression, which is never healthy. A possible solution would be to have another outlet like physical exercise, creative or mental endeavors, or close bonding with others. There is nothing new in this suggestion as many observers in past traditions point out this occurrence and the possible dangers of mismanaged sexual energy on the nervous system. However, it has also been the experience of other guys that have abstained to move through this discomfort.
I have been using this technique of abstaining from orgasm to help in my personal development and I have noticed an improvement in my emotional life. The dopamine cycle that accompanies orgasm is naturally addictive and thus states and input associated with it are particularly powerful. Having started to unravel this cycle, I have noticed that there is a difference in my mood depending on the circumstances surrounding the orgasm. The orgasm itself is associated with a dopamine spike, but over time and with frequent occurrence, there is more of a need to achieve the same dopamine rush. There is a building of tolerance. Naturally, the mind will grab dopamine spiking circumstances to compensate for the need for more dopamine. After years of doing this, a web of emotions, habits, and mental imagery can accompany orgasm and at this point, the orgasm is a different animal and depending on the severity, can cause hindrance on emotional health. When a person masturbates to porn, they are lighting up different pathways to achieve orgasm than they are while sleeping with a partner and the effects could be different. However, it is possible to masturbate without the dopamine-spiking rituals of mental fantasy (porn is a form of fantasy). This is considered healthy masturbation and is suggested by some psychologists involved in male empowerment. The idea of this technique is to free the mind of an internal compulsion that we have previously used to manage a deeper anxiety or unresolved issue. This anxiety that we experience while abstaining for over a month could possibly be the result of us actually coming into contact with this anxiety and we are not used to it, so it feels disturbing.
What does this have to do with PUA? Everything! As you know, its deep feelings of anxiety and shame that interfere with our success with women. Good PUA work is not mechanical techniques, but unraveling the outdated mental habits that prevent us from being our genuine attractive and relaxed selves.
Do the experiments for yourself and observe how you feel, that is the best way to tell.
My experience with practicing this has been more motivation for everything, more of a social life, better performance in school, better management of moods, I know Ive become more attractive to women because Ive been able to talk to them with greater ease. Ive broken out of my shell a lot more, Im more muscular than Ive ever been because Im motivated to change, and I carry myself a lot better. I was a worm about two years ago too. It feels like this has helped to put the fire under my ass and really get serious and clear about things.
My game is still a work in progress. I pick up PUA, have some limited success, and am driven back to do inner game because I encounter something uncomfortable that needs attention. The drive for reproduction is the most powerful force and motivator in organisms (even more than food), it can do a lot for us in our personal development if we learn to work with it and manage it well. I think our management of our own sexuality is a cornerstone in future lasting success with PUA, whether its for one night stands or eventual long term relationships.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmacharya
Excellent post bro !!!! Very informative !!
dude thanks im on 4 day of abstinence…
Where does sex come into this? Like what If I am abstaining from masturbation, and get laid on the 3rd or 4th day?
@Adam,
The point of the article was to abstain from masturbation so that you can have actual real sex. So, if you have sex after 3 or 4 days of abstinence then congratulations, you win!
If you are interested in increasing your testosterone levels-working out is a great way to go… Just hitting the gym a few times a week isn’t gonna turn you into a body builder but you will probably see a respectable increase in strength, stamina and energy levels. Also, if you are fat, that increases estrogene and lowers testosterone. So getting in shape and staying lean is the thing to do.
As far as masturbation, that is a really personal thing. If you are attempting “mastery over your cock” then that might be of some benefit… E.G.-I will not let the little head determine how I spend my time….looking at porn on the internet is a waste….etc.
However, another arguement can be made that rubbing one out can help one relax and get a better night’;s sleep, thus ensuring a more productive day.
Oh, and for premature ejaculators, rubbing one out before a date might be the best thing to ensure that things don’t end too quickly.
It’s not a one-size-fits-all for every guy.
i made myself a commitment.. if i have to ejaculate it means i dont have enough women and my routine is shit.
so i will not ejaculate and work on that…
hows that for motivation
I’ve never masturbated in my 18 years of life so this whole article did seem a little hard to relate to.
I ‘wet dream’ every few months or so I’d say, hard to tell but there aren’t many in a year. This has interested me greatly though, I’d love to help these findings in whatever way I can!
genial man
i completely agree with you.
Especially the trick reward opened my eyes.
i tell you – for me it s very hard to control it. pass 2 days it becomes a critical need. i presume it s just because i get bored and this is providing quick good feeling.
Now i m fighting against masturbation, putting out TV, VCR and PC from my home.
i want to lock my pc in my office not to have the possibility to take it after 2 days and do my stuff home..
It s amazing by the way how creative i can be after some days.
the drawback for me is that after 3/4 days i get on one hand strong desire but i don t want make effort to start with girls.
also more perverted sexuality come to my mind.
i get afraid and release all like a human bomb diffusing his load…
Well anyway i m happy to hear you and see that we re not alone..
THKS
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