It’s New Year’s Eve Eve. The one night when everyone is resting up for the big night tomorrow, we are starting a full day in advance. What can I say, we’re hardcore.
A cute bartender drops a pair of 22 ounce goblets in front of us. We clink the glasses together and raise them to our mouths. Delicious.
“I think we are doing it wrong” says Benny
“Doing what wrong? Drinking beer?” I say, “You still drink with your mouth right?”
“No no, not that. Girls man. I think we need to do better at hitting on girls.” he says
I’m intrigued now. Benny has always been a good friend of mine. We both desire women and we both pursue women, we are men after all, but I’ve never really told him about my whole venture in trying to learn this stuff. So, naturally when he or any of my other friends start talking about the topic of seduction, my ears perk right up.
“Listen, I read this book…” he begins to say
Bingo. I already know where he is going with this.
“…it’s about this guy who becomes really good at seducing women and he kind of has these rules”
“Oh yea? What kind of rules?” I ask, playing along
“You know, like how to approach women and how to wing for each other, that type of stuff, and it works too!”
“Hmmm, interesting,” I say, “What was the name of the book?”
“It’s called The Game”
“Oh right, I’ve heard of that,” I say, still playing dumb, “…that’s by that guy, uhh, Neil Strauss right? The pickup artist guy?”
“OH, you’ve heard of it” he says in a surprised kind of tone
“Yea,” I say with a big grin, “I know about it”
He knows. I know. This is that awkward moment when two friends finally discover that they’ve both been secretly learning how to seduce women. The good thing is, it doesn’t stay awkward for very long.
“So, wanna do some approaches?” he says
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Cool post Matt! I’ve been there too…
A year ago one of my friends started talking to me about this reality show on VH1 with a guy called Mystery on it…
I used to shove “pick-up” down my friends’ throats and it backfired badly… but when a friend brings it up unprovoked you feel like a kid on Christmas.
I just don’t like your friend’s use of the word “we” in the discussion… he should have been using the word “I” instead (i.e. “I think I am doing it wrong” and “I think I need to do better at hitting on girls”)…
The secret society is no longer a secret. The seduction community has been blown outta the water. Or has it?
I bet a bunch of guys know about it but are just too damn shy to talk on the subject. The way I see it, if you can’t pluck up the courage to talk to your buddies about it – then how in hell’s name are you gonna be able to confidently open a 4 set and lead the group. How are you gonna be able to neg and issolate… how are you going to be able to create a connection?
At least thats the way I see it. So are you guys wings now?
@GGG, I think confiding something is MUCH harder than talking up a stranger; the risk of loss/rejection in the former is much greater. Myself, I am much more relaxed working in a locale I don’t frequent and don’t plan to be back to; I have NOTHING to lose. Working in a locale I do frequent means I have to avoid being That Guy and salting a place I want to just go and hang out with friends.
@Matt — so, how’d you do?
Matt et al.
Having just discovered the PUA community, I feel like I’m coming in a bit too late. I’m worried that this is getting so big that the techniques will be picked up on by the females I’d target. I suspect that the kind of guys interested in the same kind of girls I’m interested in ie. cute earthy, slightly hippyish will be less up on the movement, hopefully at least. Is there good discussions online somewhere about the quick increase in popularity of this movement?
Hey Mandrill man – you got chill out! Forget marching over to women with the latest routines and all the rest of it. Use them as guidelines.
They’ll always be ways for men to get women attracted. So forget all that ‘too late’ rubbish!
@Mandrill — do people still fall for pyramid schemes? Buy bad used cars and homes? Do girls still pay the rent while their bf stays home all day playing video games?
Even if all you do is parrot “lines”, you’ll prolly still have success with the vast majority of people who don’t learn. Ever. If you want a higher class of girl (who doesn’t), you drop the “lines” and use the PUA stuff to make yourself an interesting person that girls (and men) want to be around.
Hey Great Post!.
It is really funny to see two guys with the one goal. I have been learning the art of approaching women now for about 3 years and still learning and polishing up on my approach. I always tend to go out and approach on my own as my friends all have girlfriends, it would be great to find someone who I could use as my diversion, someone to take care of the friend or talk me up to the woman I am approaching. But No luck!.
I look forward to reading and seeing what you guys can use when you are approaching women together.
@MackTight
I’ve also had this backfire on me when I first started this stuff, where I tried sharing my seduction knowledge with friends and they basically ripped me a new one for trying to tell them how to get girls. I think a few things happened, first they may have gotten offended as in questioning their own abilities to attract women. Second, considering I was still pretty lousy at attracting girls back then, I probably came off as a real dick, by trying to explain seduction without really having the ability to do it.
I think getting into seduction is something a person has to decide for themselves and not persuaded into by friends, which is why I was so delighted that one of my friends is finally into this:)
@GGG
I’ll have to agree with Lachlan, that confiding something to a good friend is much more difficult than a cold approach. I would hazard to guess that most guys practicing seduction are doing it secretly without their friends knowledge.
As far as us being wings, well, we’ve always been wings… just without structure or guidelines. Now that we are both on the same page, winging will be much easier.
@ Lachlan
The night turned out to be pretty decent. No lays or anything outrageous, but we did open a bunch of sets, got a few blow outs and each got a number or two. The important part is that our wing style is congruent with each other and that we mesh well, which will come in handy in future sarges.
@Mandrill
Despite the increased popularity of pickup artists, due to the VH1 show and the continued success of The Game, the fundamentals of seduction will always be the same, it always has been throughout history. If you encounter a good pickup artist in real life, you shouldn’t know it, he should come off as a guy who is naturally good with women and not someone who is reciting routines (even though he might be). So, it doesn’t really matter how big the community is or how many girls know about because the seduction process will always be the same, regardless of what label (pua) you stick on yourself.
To put it simply, it’s never too late to try to get what you want out of life.
@TC
I do a lot of approaching on my own as well and don’t think it’s necessary to have a wing man all the time. For one, you don’t want to become dependent on a wing man, you should be able to approach and close on your own; having a wing man is just icing on the cake.
I’m not sure how many field reports I’ll have that include Benny, as we live in different cities. However, we tend to visit each other every once in awhile and I’m sure we’ll have some things to report eventually… in the meantime I’ll have to brush up on my wingman knowledge base:)
Thanks Matt.
I do agree it takes a lot of balls to get out there and do it on your own if you can approach women on your own without needing a mate there with you, you’re well on your way to succeeding because there are times when I am in deep and have to get myself out of the situation and not rely on my mate.
But it does develop your approach no doubt.
Take Care.
TC
Toooo funny.
I thought it was just me.
I too tried to tell all my guy friends only to have them laugh at me with the exception of one dude.
What I have come to find out is that when they are ready they will let you know. Lord knows I love to share, but if their mind prepared to be kicked they will blow you off.
Two guys read the same book; doesn’t make either one a pick-up artist.
Your friend is not a PUA anymore than the homeless guy was a PUA.
And no one seduced a lesbial hipster girl.
Matt, you are a good writer.
But why are your titles so misleading?
I bet that if you put as much time into approaching women as you do into getting attention on this blog, well, I think you could have all the success you crave.
Reinvention is a personal project.
The reason guys aren’t busy becoming the people they really want to be is because they are not busy, period. They are wasting their time wondering about how they feel, wondering what their emotions are trying to tell them, and wondering why they are not happy.
And then writing about it.
Blogs are the result of mental masturbation. Too much time on your hands.
Ask yourself what kind of future you want to create and then ask yourself:
What needs to be done?
Then, don’t write about it.
DO IT.
LIVE IT.
I have a friend and he’s a chick magnet. He caught me one time reading a book about how to seduce women and he was really laughing outloud. Not satisfied, he even told it to everyone around our circle. I’m such a loosserrrr. Lol
I’ve had a few of those moments myself. Can be kind of funny like you’re not wanting to give the game away!
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