I agree that you should learn about the other person and make it a whole experience but I believe this part is best done in person when you actually get the real life date. The problem trying to connect online is that the odds are against you. You have girls getting 50-100 messages a day and any interest that you generate must be acted upon quickly, lest she lose interest, so time is also against you. This is why the above method is simply a tool for getting the date, NOT for creating a relationship. Once you meet her in real life it’s up to you to create that dynamic connection.

You are certainly lucky that you found someone on your first try, it is not most men’s experience. May I ask how your relationship is going with her now?

Actually, I used POF and found the person I was looking for on my first search. So yeah, I don’t need any special methods.

“most initial responses to an advert are one liners”
Really? Interesting… Well, I favorited the one person I thought worth my time, and she favorited me back. So I sent her a one-liner. But it was almost a selfless thing. Her beautiful self-description reminded me of my favorite novel, so I asked if she had read it. I didn’t think she’d be interested in me, at all, so I asked the question thinking we’d have nothing else to say to each other and that I just wanted to introduce her to a beautiful book.

“Apparently, the best way to get a reply is to ask a question, although of course picking the appropriate question (and the ideal length of your message) are guesswork.”
Ha! That’s interesting because that’s exactly what I did. And I’ll boldly say that I did ask the right question. And she responded by answering my question thoughtfully and then asking me an interesting question. Then she wanted to play a game of hitting random questions back and forth. Ridiculously long e-mails, followed by ridiculously long instant message conversations and finally phone. It’s long-distance.

Oh, and I couldn’t be bothered to write a message to anyone else. I tried, but it felt totally wrong, contrived. I wasn’t even interested in this other person. I don’t do fickle relationships.

Reflecting on this experience, I suppose that what others still looking might get out of it is: ask questions. Ask interesting questions. The girl I met shares an interest with me in learning, which is quite fortunate. Don’t you just want to LEARN about the person you’re interested in? In the end, I am thinking of this whole thing as a learning experience. If we ever declare a “relationship”? Who cares? We have the opportunity to learn so much, unconditionally.

I might try this, just for fun, even tho I am happily married. Why not? I’m entitled to some ego stroking. (Also, it appears you get ROSES!)