I am standing atop a wooden bench in the back of the pub looking out over a sea of drunken Red Sox fans. The crowd is rowdy and everyone is getting fired up. People are chanting and yelling at the screen. It’s fantastic.
Standing to my right are two cute girls, one of whom I’ve met during the previous game. We’ll call her Sophie Sox. We flirted a bit the other night and she had sat next to me before knowing who I was.
Standing to my left was another cute girl who I’ve also seen around before but never really met her. We’ll call her Hardcore Heidi. She’s a Red Sox fan and she’s hardcore.
Working the bar tonight is Bartender Betty. She’s signaling me that my next Guinness is ready. Hardcore Heidi is the closest so she kindly grabs my beer and hands it to me while wiping off the extra spillage coming down the side of the glass.
“Aww thanks, aren’t you nice.” I say
She smiles back in return. Then proceeds to yell obscenities at the umpires.
“What the fuck, you assholes! That was a HOME RUN. That’s what the fucking yellow line is for!!! Argghhhh!!!”
Wow, I think I’m in love.
I touch her on the shoulder and say, “Alrighty, now that we got that out of your system, lets get into a more positive vibe, eh? Lets all use the Law of Attraction to make this happen. If we believe and know that they’ll win then they will. What do ya say?”
“I’d say your full of shit. I could give two shits about positive attraction. I just want to fucking tear these guys apart.” Heidi declares
“Fair enough” I reply as Heidi quickly puts the kabash on that idea.
Hardcore Heidi continues to scream and bounce up and down like a true Sox fan. Her boobs bounce up and down in her skin tight Sox shirt. I can’t help but stare….they were so mesmerizing. Up and down, bouncy bouncy bouncy….
I feel a tap on my arm and look over as Sophie Sox leans in to my ear.
“Hey buddy, the games up there, ya know.” she says
“Uh, uh, uhhh. Yea, ummm, I was just…..um, yea.”
“Just what?”
“Just checking out the scenery” I say
Sophie gives me a smirk and then continues flirting. I go back and forth between her and Hardcore Heidi. It appears that they are both attracted but there’s a problem. They both have boyfriends. Actually, I think Heidi is married.
This appears to happen to me quite a bit lately. For some reason, women with boyfriends are drawn into my vicinity and if by some cruel joke, flirt with me as if I have a chance. And maybe I do have a chance but the boyfriend obstacle certainly doesn’t make things easy. Also, lets not forget about the morality of the whole thing. Ugh, again with morals and ethics….boring!
It’s the 9th inning, the Sox have it in the bag. Hardcore Heidi is losing her voice by now but her boobs are holding up nicely. Sophie Sox is being dragged out by her friend. I give her a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye. Ugh, well, that seals it, I’m in the “friends zone.”
Not a particularly successful night for an aspiring pick up artist but it was fun and the Sox are in the World Series. The important thing is looking forward to the next week of games. People will be out in droves. It’s time to ride the wave of the post season and start picking up some hardcore Sox girls.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Savage,
Your mighty Sox beat my Cleveland Indians in the ALCS, so I don’t know if I can read your blogs anymore. Just kidding…the Sox have a hell of a team, I hope they kick the @$% out of the Rockies. Go Beantown!
Cheers,
The Saint
They had a lottery for playoffs tickets for the Brewers. I won and bought four tickets and they fucked up the last games and didn’t make it to the playoffs. My luck.
As for your field report, if I went to a sports bar and an attractive woman without a guy immediately with her sat by me I would be more than satisfied married or not. Usually I get creepy old dudes who set next to me.
I hate sports bars. Women are not into sports as much as guys so I would rather go to a mall and sarge during a game. In Wisconsin they have a week of deer hunting Thanksgiving week and that is a prime time to hit the field.
You have to go to venues with an adequate supply of single attractive women. It doesn’t matter who gets drawn into your vicinity; it matters who you chose to go and approach.
Glad to see your posting again.
You’d think it would be easy picking up sports fans, but these damn girls get more into it then us sometimes.. i had to dump a girl once because she wanted to watch EVERY single Yankee game, like the world would stop if she missed a fucking game.
Saint,
It looks like the ass kicking of the Rockies is in full effect:)
Mack Tight,
Sports bars are the places to be in Boston right now. Being such a big sports town, you can usually find quite a few attractive women rooting for the home team. I think the trick is to not compete with the television for her attention but rather build upon the excitement of the whole thing. It’s a learning process and I think I’m starting to figure it out.
Bobby,
Yea, I didn’t realize that I haven’t posted anything in three weeks. Oopps! I’ll be getting back to routinely writing in the blog once or twice a week. I think I’m going to do a face lift this weekend as well.
Not sure I could ever date a girl who was that into the Yankees….unless she was realllllyyyy smoking hot.
i have a theory, chicks are attracted to you because of that boyfriend block of yours. so they know deep down they can flirt play around feel good about themselves
but you will never do anything
does that make sense
Leave a Comment