My Encounter with Jessica Biel

Imagine you’re standing in your favorite bar, waiting to order a drink and suddenly, out of nowhere, a gorgeous celebrity is standing right next to you. What would you do? Would you approach her? Would you talk to her? Would you seduce her?

Four Years Ago…

I am standing in one of the local college bars, sipping on a cheap generic beer and standing against the bar, closed off like a wall flower. It’s a typical Friday night, where I am just hoping to get lucky. I am an average frustrated chump.

After over an hour of my antisocial gawking and general creepiness, I notice that a girl has approached the bar to order a drink. She is standing right next to me. She is stunning. My body becomes tense and a giant lump forms in the back of my throat.

I’m still staring at her when she looks over and gives me a faint smile. My nerves are shot to hell, I could have a heart attack any minute now. I smile back and in my mouse like voice, squeak out the word “hello.” She responds in kind then turns away with her drinks and leaves to another part of the bar. I remain standing there like a tool.

“Holy shit dude, did you just talk to Jessica Biel?” my friend Teddy says

“Who?” I respond

“Jessica Biel?” he says again

“Who’s Jessica Biel?” I ask

“You know, the hot girl from Seventh Heaven. I can’t believe you don’t know who she is.”

“I don’t really watch those kind of shows.” I say

“Whatever man, you just talked to a smoking hot celebrity.” Teddy says

“I only said ‘hello’ and I don’t think she wanted to talk to me anyways.” I say

“Well whatever, she’s freakin’ hot!” he says

At the end of the night, I go home and immediately get online to look up pictures of Jessica Biel. I confirm that the girl in the bar was in fact her. I can’t believe it.

I proceed to go to bed and masturbate to fantasy “what if” scenarios involving hot passionate sex with Jessica Biel. Ughh, I’m pathetic.

…Present Day

As I sit here typing this story, I can’t help but think “what if I knew then what I know now?” Would things have turned out differently? Is there a lesson to be learned here? I think the answer is yes.

The common thinking is that it’s unrealistic that an average guy would have any shot at a relationship with a woman of this caliber. This is the problem. The average guy would think like this, just as I did four years ago, but now I am no longer that average guy. My thinking has evolved to something outside the realm of general societal thought.

So what would I have done differently? Simple, the same thing I would do while approaching any other beautiful woman these days. I’d treat her like a regular person, knocking her off the pedestal that everyone else in the world is propping her up on. Because I hadn’t known of her as a celebrity previously, this task would have been fairly easy. The only thing I was missing was the balls to actually engage in a conversation with a beautiful woman.

Who knows how it could have turned out but at least I would have done something. I could be sitting here typing about how I had an amazing, engaging conversation with an interesting beautiful actress or I could be typing about how some stuck up celebrity threw her drink in my face because I was trying to flirt with her. Either way, I’d be satisfied knowing that I took the risk. Without any risk there would be no reward.