She’s a lone wolf. She’s sitting there on the bar-stool, by herself, just waiting for someone to talk to her. I’m standing five feet from her with my back against the bar. My body language is superb and I’m sure she notices. I catch her glancing over from the corner of my eye.
Lately, I’ve been focusing and practicing a lot on body language. After reading the book, The Definitive Book of Body Language
I’m leaned back in the cowboy stance. This consists of having my legs spread far apart, shoulders relaxed and thumbs tucked into the front pockets with the palms pointing at my crotch. Everything about my body screams sexual confidence.
I slowly turn my head and look at her. She looks over and we lock eyes. I refuse to be the first one to break off. I hold the gaze. She’s not looking away, she’s just sitting there staring back at me. It’s a showdown.
We are gazing at each other for an eternity when finally I give her a little smile. She returns the gesture and is the first to speak.
“You must be the happiest guy on earth.”
“Funny, that’s what it says on my business card” I reply
“What’s your name?” she asks
“Matt, and you?” I say as I walk over to her.
She tells me her name and I shake her hand while still gazing into her eyes. I’m in her comfort zone now. She does a hair toss and leans her head to the side exposing her neck to me. This is a sign of attraction and submission. I engage in kino, gently touching her on the upper and lower arm.
We are having a conversation but I have no clue what we are talking about. It doesn’t even matter anymore. I’ve been staring into her pupils for the longest time now, not once have I looked away. We both know what is going down.
“Um, so do you live around here?” she asks.
“Yea just down the street.” I say with a little smirk
“You want to see it? It’s a nice little place.”
“Umm, I don’t think I should.” she says
“Oh, I don’t think you should either. That’s why I’m just going to show you this one thing and then kick you right out.” I reply
“I want to but I really can’t. I have to meet my boyfriend soon.” she says
Arrrggghhhh. This is killing me. This is where my game falls apart. I don’t know what to do now.
“Huh” I say in confusion
“Sorry, but I really need to get going now. It was really great meeting you though.” She says.
Just like that, she’s out the door and into a cab.
Though I didn’t close the deal, I am chalking this encounter up to a major success. The use of eye contact in building attraction and rapport was amazing.
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
That rocks! She was totally feeling you because of your strong eye contact!
I don’t know anything about boyfriend destroyers or routines, the only cool thing I’ve come across is using her boyfriend as a sexual barrier and play it like the two of you will have secret trysts when she isn’t with him. Just making it a fun interaction.
I think them having a boyfriend doesn’t stop the interaction, it just changes the end game. You still talk, flirt and kino, but at the end you just think about what went well and what can be improved upon.
Great advice on the eye contact.
I’m no expert, but here’s my analysis.
It sounds like the attraction was there, but not the comfort. It seems like she was actually trying to build comfort (by asking your name and where you lived), but maybe you jumped the gun by inviting her back so quickly. Next time try telling a story or two, and make the last one lead into something that has to do with your house. Then offer to show her that thing (BE SPECIFIC).
If you just say you want to show her “something” she’s going to assume it’s sex and nothing more.
Noah,
I do know of one boyfriend destroyer but I didn’t use it. It basically consists of putting the boyfriend on a pedestal and re-framing him into a sappy nice guy while you set the frame as being the bad boy, which is much more sexually attractive than the “nice guy” frame. Not sure why I didn’t use this, but I’m guessing morality might have had something to do with it. I’m still not sure where I stand on using “boyfriend destroyers”, I guess it depends on the situation.
Gil,
There was definitely attraction and you could be on to something with the comfort. Although, there was a brief phase of comfort type conversation so I’m not too sure that was the real problem. You have to keep in mind that even though the post is short, the whole interaction was about an hour long.
I think you’re more on point with where I actually invited her back. I probably needed to give her a better excuse rather than just flat out saying “come back to my place.”
The other thing about this interaction was that it was basically my experiment with more direct type of game. I’ve been reading some Gunwitch material and my goal with this to really come off as a sexual animal:)
Thanks for the feedback guys, it is always much appreciated!
-Matt
When a girl says ‘I have a BF’ I have found it fund to say ‘I think you should have 2 boyfriends’ or ‘Do you want 2 boyfriends’. I think this a Tyler Durden line. Either way I have field tested it. It keeps the sexual tension high and keeps you in control. I personally dont really want to hook up with a girl thats taken myself but this line allows the conversation to roll along without necessarily taking it down a notch. Try it next time. Its fun to see the reactions!
G
G,
Haha, I love those lines. I can see where it can either be a real playful thing to say or can be a means of keeping the sexual energy going. I’ll have to try it next time, even if it is just to see their reactions:) Thanks.
Matt
Cowboy stance? I am dying laughing at that. No really, I think I just broke something internal.
I love your blog. It’s like eavesdropping on the mens room. Like you should REALLY be listening but you can’t help it. But what the hell, I look in people’s medicine cabinets…
I need to get that book!
try thease meathods mr john waynne
http://www.shyandseduction.com
I agree with 2Gil. you might have jumped the gun while she was still qualifying you in her head as “not-a-creep”
as far as a boy friend technique goes, you could use one of David D’s quotes.
if a girl says, “i have a boyfriend” and her tone is to disinterest you, you can reply, “good, that’s great. it sounds like an accomplishment for you. you know, half the world has a bf, and they don’t feel like it’s something to tell strangers about.”
then depending on how her reaction is, you could follow it with, “so what do you got going for you -other than a bf?
and i’m sure you can apply body language to match.
Outstanding results! Congrats on a masterful pickup; maximum results with minimal effort. Very nice.
What if you pushed her away, like this from David D: “You know, we men aren’t just women’s sexual playthings. I have a mind, and feelings, too. No way that I’m showing you my place tonight. I’m not that easy.”
Perhaps turning the frame around might have pulled her closer?
Since you were there and know what went down, if you’ll forgive the attempt at a vicarious learning experience, how do you think that might have affected the outcome?
at the time of the handshake i have found that if you extend your hand and tilt your head back while you stare down your nose sorta at her , prompting her to give her name first, then not telling your name till she ask is a good move. if she asks then you have your first ioi
Loving the stories on this site. You should write an article about playing guitar = easy way to pick up chicks.
Jeff,
Glad you like the stories. Regarding the guitar playing comment, I totally agree, sometimes I think it’d be easier to give up this whole seduction thing and just join a band. I’m actually right in the middle of writing a post about the new Ukulele I just purchase and though it’s not quite a guitar, I’m hoping it’ll somehow help with the chick getting process. Thanks for stopping by.
Or you could have kept at it…….your game really ended at “Huh.” I think you shouldn’t have let it faze you but then again you said you’re still questioning the morality of boyfriend destroyers. My personal philosophy? If there’s no ring on the finger and I don’t know the guy….the ball is live, the play is in motion and the game is on. If there’s a ring on the finger or I know the guy…the ball is dead, the play is over and the game is done.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzUH_prqLHE
OK, so I can’t sleep and I’m reading up on this PUA stuff.
This is a prime example of how women KNOW even before you use your PUA strategies of whether you are a yes or a no. If you were a “yes” it dwouldn’t matter if she has a boyfriend.
Avalon,
yes – but she may say it for various reasons, including as a “shit test” to see how persistent he is, how much he doesn’t care about her boyfriend because she’s so attractive to him, and how much he really knows about women. I’ve had women compliment me later on not ending a conversation/seduction after they told me about their alleged boyfriends. Later some said they use the boyfriend test on occasion to weed out the “players who really don’t know what they’re doing”.
that sucked
You move in to soon !
“that for me to know and you too find out “
bk,
I’d have to disagree, I think moving in that soon is what more guys need to do. I’d rather move in right away than stand around staring at her like a creepy douche bag. She knew my intentions and got last minute resistance in the end. The results of the encounter didn’t turn out the way I wanted, but I think the execution of this particular approach was quite good.
Matt….props man nice pick up the flaw in it was at this part
“Yea just down the street.” I say with a little smirk
“You want to see it? It’s a nice little place.”
first the smirk then the “you want to see it?” …Now its good that you did the Mystery move where you agreed with her when she is resisting and joking about it
“Oh, I don’t think you should either. That’s why I’m just going to show you this one thing and then kick you right out.” I reply
But females cut and run when they feel or think you’re just talking to her to get her in bed. Thats what
Yea just down the street.” I say with a little smirk
“You want to see it? It’s a nice little place.” sounded like….so what I think maybe give her a better reason than just its a really nice place. Maybe something related to your conversation. Like..if you’re some how talking about vacation with friends, “I have these amazing pictures on my laptop at home from my trip to so and so.” I wanna show you them dont get any ideas”.
And for that “I have a boyfriend” line i either ignore it and keep talking or say “Me too” lol as a joke
Major success? I think most of the time as PUA’s (myself definitely included here) we chalk up a great opening as a success rather than what it objectively was, a learning experience at best. You got no phone number, no date, no makeout, no sex. Your problem was not what to do when she brought up the boyfriend, your problem was that she brought up a boyfriend at all (typical bitch shield reaction). The whole ‘wanna see it?’ line is where you lost her.
If she’s asking you questions about your life then she is interested. Don’t push it with typical AFC type crap.
Great post mate!! Even though she had a boyfriend the way you put it all together with the body language to locking eye contact to the way you approached, what a great effort, very, very impressive.
TC
The ‘I have a boyfriend’ stuff is to know what you want from her which she will definitely not ask you directly! Obviously, becoz she knows you might lie about your intentions. She wants to know your type of guy! And for the ‘cow-boy stance’ guy. the fact that your get a girl horny and attracted doesn’t mean she’d boink you(an absolute stranger who is sexually confident). If she boinks you then she would go on and boink every man that she see on the street putting his thumb on his wild-wild-west belt and staring like a hungry baboon. obviously they know that stance and it get them curious and excited, but you can only count on your luck that you will find an extremely horny girl that has nobody else she knows to do the job for her.
Nice! Good job on the attraction and the opening was suberb. IMO, for what ever it is worth, you just scared her off be being to intimate too quickly. Bringing a person to your place is an intimate thing and shows a level of frendship that was just not quite there yet. Remember, we are bigger and stronger than women and they tend to get scared off if something in the interaction is not right. You just needed more time to build trust and comfort.
Correct, a victory, and an impressive one at that.
Just read this again for fun. I don’t think she had, or in the beginning had intentions of bringing up a boyfriend. You just moved too quickly and scared her off. Next time try, “cool, let’s bring him along too, just don’t hit on me in front of him (with a sarcastic smile and half laughing).”
“I understand and I respect that. But you’re still invited. I’d be remiss if I died knowing I didn’t show you THIS ONE THING. I may even let you touch it.”
Aww.. she’s flirting with you and you almost nailed it. You should have asked for her number so next time, there’d be no boyfriend waiting for her.
she was just a chick who had a boyfriend who she is prob tired of dating but is comfortable and/or she is insecure and wanted male attention. it’s not that complex to all the people who’ve replied. chicks do this emotional whoring routine all the time, well, the insecure ones do. like married men who slip off their wedding ring when they flirt just to “feel young again”.
A girl in the office has a eye contact very often. Sometimes the eye contact last about 5-7 seconds. How can I take it forward ?
As this is office extra precautions needs to be taken
@Kiran,
I wouldn’t recommend practicing seduction in the office, particularly if you are new at this stuff, it could cause you a lot of headaches.
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