I’m on one side of her, Evil Eric is on the other. We are both competing for her attention. While Eric is making lame attempts to cut me down, I do the opposite. I put him on the pedestal. I make him the Nice Guy.
“Haha, look at you and that shit-eating grin, why the hell do you always smile so much?!” says Evil Eric
“Ah well, I’m glad you asked, maybe because I’m happy. I stand here and think, shit, this is a great day. It’s the end of the week, the weather is beautiful… and I just made a new friend,” as I put my arm around Kelly from California, “besides, smiling is good for you!”
Before Eric can say anything, I launch into a discussion about the origins of the term, shit-eating grin.
“Hey Kelly, where do you think ’shit-eating grin’ came from? Do you think that one day some guy was eating shit and was so fucking happy that he didn’t even care that he was eating shit! Something to think about.”
Kelly is laughing and giggling now.
“Hey Eric, where do you think it came from?” I ask
But before he can answer, I cut him off.
“Kelly, did I tell you about my buddy Eric? Well, he is a super duper great guy. Probably one of the nicest guys in the bar.” I say
“Oh really?” she asks
“Yea, he’s real swell! Aren’t you Eric?”
Before he responds, I cut him off again.
“So Kelly, you’re new here right? Have you had a chance to do anything exciting yet?”
“Oh no, I’ve only been around for a few a weeks, so haven’t done anything too fun. This is actually the first bar I’ve been to in Boston.” she replies
“Wow, nothing fun yet, huh? Well, we’ll have to take care of that won’t we.” I say
I have her full attention now and take the opportunity to tell Kelly about some of the exciting things I’ve done. I even get into my hilarious goth night story, which had her in stitches.
At some point during the interaction, I saw Evil Eric slink off to the corner, clearly defeated. I feel a little bad for him, but he deserved it for trying to sabotage my approaches.
After some more flirting with Kelly, we agree to go out some night.
“So then, we’ll rock-out soon. What’s a good way to get a hold of you?”
This is my usual tactic for getting the number. It’s simple, effective and doesn’t sound too cheesy.
“Oh well, I still don’t have a phone number yet, but I’ll stop by again next time and give it to you, ok?” she says
“Uh yea, that’ll work.” I reply
I give her a quick kiss on the cheek to say goodbye and then she leaves.
Not a bad night. I defeated my arch nemesis and setup a potential date. Pretty solid.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
hahah no problem! its what were here for! come back soon!
let me know if there is anything i can post on you would like to here about! 
yup Pretty SOLID! great tactic!
I absolutely LOVE this post. Especially the part where Evil Eric goes away with his tail in between his legs. Although her line of not having a phone number sounds pretty lame, I’m cautiously optimistic on your chances here. Keep us updated!
Mahdi,
Thanks bro, glad to know there is some quality tech support out there.
For those that are wondering, Mahdi at the KingKong Blog helped me figure out how to get my full RSS feed working. Some of you who are subscribers may have noticed an influx of full Modern Savage posts in your readers. This is the reason. Thanks again guys!
Mrs. Zig, Thanks!
Pamm,
I was a bit suspicious of her not having a number either. Perhaps she was blowing me off but I’m trying to be optimistic about it. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
I really enjoyed reading this for several reasons:
1. my ex is named Eric, so any story where a guy named Eric doesn’t win is OK with me.
2. i root for happy people who don’t tear other people down.
3. this is a perfect example of a great way to get a girl’s interest and phone number. a happy guy? a funny story? he knows fun things to show me? does he have a pen??!! i’m in!!
ugh, why can’t more guys be like this???
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