My hands are shaking, I can barely type right now. I knew what had to be done, but my mind held back, it over analyzed and then… it blew a fuse. I had nothing.
one hour ago…
I’m out to lunch, dining in a small sandwich shop. I glance up from my newspaper to see the cutest, most beautiful woman I’ve seen in a long time. She doesn’t have the look of a model but she does have something that I don’t see in most women. I can’t put my finger on it, but I see it in her eyes. There is a fire in there, a passion. I can’t look away.
She looks over. We make eye contact. This is when I should say something, but I don’t. I just smile.
She sits down at the nearest table facing in my direction. She sets up the logistics perfectly, all I need to do is take action. I need to say something.
Normally, I would just say, “hi” and go from there, but something is stopping me. Is it fear? Perhaps. Or, perhaps it is some type of inhibition. Perhaps, I should have read Disco’s post before lunch. Whatever it is, it’s holding me back.
I sit there pretending to read my paper, making quick glances over. My body is beginning to turn to Jello. Her pheromones are drifting across the table, into my nostrils and attacking my nerve endings. I think I’m going to vomit.
I can’t do this. I need to leave before I lose control of my bodily functions. I carefully stand, take one more glance and leave.
Walking back to my office, it begins. The regret. The “what ifs” are swirling around in my head. I need to stop dwelling on the lack of action, but I can’t. I just blew it…ugh.
What would you do? What would you say? How do you overcome the resistance, the fear and the inhibition?
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
You didn’t do it!?
I’m so disappointed.
Aren’t you supposed to be the big “love” guru?
You should have done what you always do… start with a “hi” and go from there.
You thinking of going back to the same cafe to see if you’re aquainted with her again?
Blondie,
I know, I know, I am disappointed too! I’m really more of an aspiring “love” guru at the moment but hopefully this will change in the future:)
I do visit that cafe quite often and if I do see her again, well, I’m definitely going to take a risk and say something. Hopefully, she’ll return some day…
I suppose I’m a little wreckless…I would have chanced my luck and made some excuse to talk to her.
But I know what you mean about turning to jelly.
I hope you see her again and get the opportunity to do something about it next time.
Hey Matt–sorry it’s been a while. I’ve been—well that’s a whole other movie. Let’s get to this post.
This is the number one stumbling block I have–the dreaded aa. Though when I do approach, my hit ratio is quite good. But most times, I don’t do what’s required. I let her go.
I’m committed to changing that.
It is because we tie too much into the outcome. We tie our ego, our self-esteem. And it’s foolish. Normal, but foolish.
You miss 100% of the shots you do not take.
What helps, sometimes, is reminding myself of the women I got through a cold approach. A beautiful Asian woman I saw at the gym became my “friends with benefits” girl for years–all from a cold approach.
Take the shot. Always take the shot.
Good to see you’re still at this thing of ours.
Smoothlatinkid,
Always glad when you drop by and leave good comments.
Lately, the approach anxiety hasn’t been too bad for me but every once in awhile, like this instance, I just freeze up and get that little hurty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Oh man, just when you think you’ve gotten beyond this fear it comes back and hits HARD.
I love your technique of reminding yourself of a successful cold approach. I’m going to start doing that whenever I feel the fear setting in.
Thanks bro!
Savage
Man i feel you on that. This is just something that exist inside of us and we just have to overcome the fear/anxiety associated with it. Blondie- He is human so there is room for error.
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