There is a common piece of advice in the seduction community that is often given to newbies. It is called “getting out of your comfort zone.” This is often used in terms of overcoming approach anxiety. Basically, your comfort zone refers to doing things that you are only comfortable doing. An example of this is going out to a bar and only socializing with your friends rather than meeting new friends.
So, to get out of your comfort zone, you need to do things that you are not comfortable with. The strategy behind this is that if you get out of your comfort zone enough times, you will get used to it, and thus will become comfortable with it. The idea is to be constantly expanding your comfort zone by doing things outside of the zone. Makes sense, right?
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about a subset of this topic. I call it “getting out of your comfort location.” We all have place we go that make us feel safe, whether it be a certain bar, a restaurant, your home, the mall, or whatever your favorite place to hang out is. This place is your comfort location. If you’ve read my blog before then you won’t be surprised that my comfort location is the Local Pub.
I love my local pub. I know all of the bar staff, it’s relaxing, and I never have a problem socializing or meeting people there. The problem is that when I get into the habit of going to the pub all the time, I am putting a lot of limits on myself. Limits are not good. I want to go beyond the limits. I want to be able to walk into ANY place, recognize opportunities, and make the best of ALL situations. The only way to accomplish this is to always be going to new places, trying new things and meeting new people.
A good example of this was when I went to Goth Night. This was something that was way outside of my comfort zone. Goth night was very bizarre at first but once we settled in and began talking with people it was no longer an uncomfortable situation. And most importantly, I was introduced to a whole new group of attractive women!
I’ve become a bit lazy lately because I haven’t been getting out of my comfort location enough. I need to start doing more things than just going to the local pub. Perhaps I’ll start traveling to different neighborhoods or going to see different kinds of shows. I live in a big city, so the possibilities are endless really.
So, stay tuned for some new adventures in seduction.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
It sounds like a good idea, but what about concentrating on getting girls from your local pub before tackling other locations?
Anonymous,
I understand what you’re saying. Basically, if I can’t get a girl from a location I’m comfortable in then how am I going to get a girl in a location that I’m not comfortable in. Good point, however, I think there are some flaws in this logic.
First thing that comes to mind is quantity. The local pub is nice but it is small and on any given night there are really only a hand full of women present who are worth talking to and many of them are regulars who I’ve already been gaming with some success. So, in this sense it’d be nice to have more of a selection of women to practice approaching and flirting. This can only be accomplished by going to other places.
The second thing is that even if I wasn’t trying to be a seduction artist, I’d still want to go to a variety of places just for the pure novelty. Who knows what new and exciting things you can discover by doing something way different than you normally would?
Good question though, it made me think. Thanks.
-Matt
Yay! Matt,
I have to say I really enjoy reading your blogs and keeping up with your progress. I love this concept “Getting out of your comfort location”. Maybe you can make it a goal to get out of your comfort location at least once a week. You can make field reports/blogs about it. I think it would help your game. Keep up the good work, continue your skills, and take care.
Happy Easter,
Ana
This makes complete sense.
From action to philosophy, your journey continues…
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