March 2007

How does a guy learn to become a great kisser? I think there are two things that one would need to do: practice by kissing women more frequently and practice with someone with more experience. So, for a guy to become a great kisser, it makes sense that his best chance for learning is by frequently kissing older more experienced women.

On this particular Saturday night, I am at the local pub…again. I approach a few different women and attempt to attract them with a few of my witty stories but it just isn’t working tonight.

There is one older woman sitting in the corner by herself. I am already familiar with this woman as I’ve interacted with her on numerous other occasions. She is Mistress Molly.

Mistress Molly is in her late 30’s, probably around age 38 or 39, and she is very cute. This would make her about ten years older than me, so I think it definitely classifies her as an “older woman.” Not that I consider late 30’s as old, just comparatively older.

I go over and sit down with Mistress Molly. We immediately strike up an engaging conversation. We talk about dating and relationships. I tell her about my pursuit in meeting and attracting women. She gives me all kinds of advice and stories about her relationship experiences. Before we know it, we had talked for over two hours straight. All the while, there is some light banter and kino between us.

As the bar closes we walk outside together about to part ways.

“Have a good night” I say as I lean in to her.

Just like that we are kissing and it…was…good! She is by far one of the best kissers I’ve ever kissed before. To be honest, this isn’t the first time we’ve kissed. I’ve kissed her on New Year’s Eve and several weeks ago as well.

I don’t think things will ever get sexual between us. Because of our age difference we lead very different lives and I don’t see a relationship going any further than the kissy one we have right now. Not that I don’t mind as she is a damn fine kisser.

Our lips finally unlock and we both smile at each other with our gleaming eyes. We turn and head our separate ways.

Strewn about the coffee table are the remnants of Chinese food. I lean back on the couch with my stomach ready to burst.

“Ah, General Gao, you were a bloodthirsty foe, but your chicken is delectable!”

There is only one more thing needed to win this battle. I deploy a flanking maneuver and grab the golden crusted cookie. With zero resistance I am able to subdue the cookie and steal its secret message. It contains one of the most profound fortunes I’ve ever read.

“You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.”

I hold the message closer and read it several more times, trying to absorb the meaning. My thoughts begin to swirl into a storm of emotion and introspection. What does it all mean?

It’s about passion.

There has been a shift in the seduction community lately. Many well known pick-up artists are not only moving away from routine based game towards more natural game, but are now moving towards what I call “lifestyle game.” They are starting to adapt the thinking that what is really seductive about a man is the way he leads his life. It is essentially his lifestyle that attracts women and not all the different tactics and techniques that pick-up artists are known for.

So how do you lead a seductive lifestyle? Easy. You have to be passionate about something. You need to have a driving force in your life. A purpose for living.

A few movie quotes come to mind in this regard. One is from one of my favorite movies, Adaptation.

“There are too many ideas and too many people. And too many directions to go. I was starting to believe that the reason it matters to care passionately about something, is that it whittles the world down to a more manageable size.” - Susan Orlean

This is almost the same thing that the cookie told me! If you don’t have a focus, a passion, then you end up all over the place, never really accomplishing anything in life.

Remember the movie City Slickers? There is one scene where Curly tells Mitch that he knows the secret of life.

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
[holds up one finger]
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch: But, what is the “one thing?”
Curly: [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.

In the end of the movie we find out that the one thing, the secret of life, is different for everyone. That one thing is whatever you care most about in your life.

As for myself, there are so many things in my life that I enjoy doing and so many things that I want to accomplish. Surprisingly, this is a problem. There are too many directions I want to go and too many things I want to do that it is making it difficult for me to get anywhere at all. There is no focus. There is no real passion.

So what is my one thing? What is my passion? I have no idea. I know what I enjoy and I know what my interests are but I’m not too sure which of these I am truly passionate about. Even worse, what if my passion is something that I don’t even know about yet? Maybe my passion is to be a circus juggler or a rodeo cowboy, who knows, it could be anything!

Figuring out your passion in life is not something to take lightly. It’s not something you can just pick out of a hat or decide on a whim. This is going to have to take some serious thought and effort. If I figure it out I’ll let you know.

It’s been a long weekend of festivities. You got to love the Irish, they really know how to party. In terms of meeting women, this weekend was really more about the quantity of interactions than the quality of interactions. In some ways it’s good and in some ways it’s bad. It’s good because I feel like I’m finally over my approach anxiety. It’s bad because all I’ve been doing lately is approaching and developing attraction without moving the seduction process further. I think what I need to focus on now is building comfort and rapport.

Friday

After a long week at work I was too exhausted to make an all out effort to go sarging. Friday night was basically a relaxing night at the local pub. I hung around and talked to the regulars. There is one regular in particular who I am growing quite fond of (we’ll call her Hyper Heidi). I haven’t known Heidi well before but over the past month I have seen her in the local pub from time to time and we’ve recently started talking a lot more with each other.

What I really like about Hyper Heidi is that she is so positive and happy all the time. It is very uplifting to be around someone who simply loves life and enjoys every little moment to the fullest. She definitely has the kind of traits that I am looking for in a woman.

Friday night, Heidi and I got involved in a great conversation and at the end when she had to leave we ended up kissing goodnight. Hopefully, I’ll see her again soon so I can move this forward.

Saturday

I’ll be honest, I don’t remember a lot of details about St. Patrick’s day but I’ll try. I started the day by going to a friend’s house where she cooked us a traditional Irish breakfast along with some Irish coffee to get things rolling.

I met up with Wingman Stick at a famous Irish bar for dinner and a live band. Things get a bit fuzzy but I remember that I was definitely flirting with a lot of girls that night (who wasn’t) and some drunken Irishman spilled Guinness all over my pants…ughhh. It was a fun night.

Sunday

Despite my hangover, I decided to meet up with some other friends in Southie to watch the parade. Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is about the parade, it is actually pretty boring. I think the parade is just an excuse for people to drink more. So, after watching the parade for a whole fifteen minutes we decided to go back to my friend’s house to party and drink more.

Six hours later we found ourselves going to one of the local old man bars. Luckily, I brought my own women along because there were absolutely no other prospects.

I dance with my lady friends and astonish the crowd with my nimble like footwork.

The bar scene doesn’t last long though, as the marathon of drinking was finally beginning to take its toll on us. Exhausted, I end up leaving to catch a cab home.

Monday

I can’t believe I went to the local pub again on Monday evening. I’m not sure what it was but I felt like it’d be a good night to meet some of the many women I’ve been seeing there lately.

I was in the pub for about two hours and within that span randomly bumped into several beauties. Sexy English Teacher was there. Jameson Jane was there. Mistress Molly was there. It was all good. Too bad I was so exhausted from the weekend that I had barely enough energy to maintain a conversation.

Summary

First, despite that I enjoy having a few drinks every now and then, I went a little overboard this weekend. Alcohol is definitely an obstacle when trying to meet woman. Seriously, how attractive is it to have some guy reeking of booze and slobbering all over you. I imagine not very attractive.

Second, I need to work on having more interactions like I did with Hyper Heidi on Friday. It was an almost textbook attraction to kiss close process. I think spending more time trying to get into the comfort zone will seriously improve my pick up artist skills.

It is Sunday night and I am walking home after dinner with some of the fellas. While leaving the restaurant I was able to score the phone number of the new cute waitress. She wrote it down on a piece of paper she tore from our bill. It reads, “call me, 555-555-5555, Simple Sue.” I place the scrap of paper in my shirt pocket for safe keeping. Perhaps a little celebration is in order.

I walk into the Local Pub for a quick victory drink. Many of the usual faces are present. All welcoming and waiting for some friendly chatter. I talk to my bartender buddy while showing off my new trophy.

“Ohhhh, very nice. Good work my friend.” he says with a grin, “…so who’s the guy?”

“Haha, real funny. You asshole.”

We continue to bust each other’s balls until I am finally served my drink. I take a look around to see if there are any females worthy of talking to. I glance towards the dart board and who do I see but none other than Darty Diane.

Diane is surrounded by a bunch of guys all playing darts; all competing for her attention. She looks over and sees me. We lock eyes. I give her a mischievous smile. Like a tractor beam she immediately comes to me. She gives me a big hug.

“Hey you, what’s going on?”

“Oh, I was just walking by and somehow thought you might be in here.” I reply

We banter with each other and she eventually points out that she is here with her friend. Diane points to the friend across the bar. Holy crap, it’s Jameson Jane, a cute girl I tried picking up back in January. Jane looks over at us and waves. I smile and wave back but don’t go over as she seems to be with her boyfriend. It’s probably best not to get the guy jealous, besides, the real focus is with Diane.

We chat some more but eventually the wolves start to circle. Soon, there is a random guy interjecting into our conversation. Then another one. Until finally, the vultures pick me clean. Diane is now back in the group that I had found her and my beer is almost gone.

Unless I feel like battling six other guys for her attention there is nothing else I can do. I don’t want to act needy and I know that I’ll see Diane again, so I decide to leave. I signal to her that I’m departing. She smiles and waves goodnight.

I walk into my bedroom, throw off my shoes and reach into my shirt pocket. I pull out tonight’s real prize and place it on the nightstand. Not too shabby for a mere Sunday night.