Have you ever heard of the term “snake eyes” in regards to meeting women? No. Well then, let me explain.
Apparently if you take a snake and you stick a mouse on each side of its head, the snake will not attack either mouse. The reason for this is because the snake is greedy. He wants both mice. If he attacks one then the other mouse will get away. Because of the snake’s greed he will just sit there trying to figure out how to get both mice. The result is that both mice get away because the snake didn’t focus on picking one mouse and then attacking it.
This same concept can happen to men. The typical scenario is that a man finds himself in the company of more than one beautiful woman. Because the man is greedy, he spreads himself too thin trying to attract all of the women rather than focusing on getting just one. As a result he loses all of them.
This is what happened to me last night. I got snake eyes.
I went out with some friends and by chance many of my recent muses all showed up at the same bar. There was Dido Girl, Snoopy Girl, Wild Wendy, Nurse Nancy, the flirty waitress, and another woman who I cold approached earlier in the night. The advantage here is that I had many options and had a lot of good social proof. The problem is that I didn’t pick which one would be my target.
Essentially, I would keep circling around the bar and spending a little time flirting with each girl before moving on to the next. Though it seemed like a good idea at the time, it was probably the worst thing I could do. I kept at this for most of the night and before I knew it the bar was closing down and I was left without having gotten anywhere with these women.
So, the lesson to be learned here is: pick a target and focus on that target.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Matt,
You may have seen your “snake eyes” as a failure for the night but I bet in the long run you showed these girls how cool, confident, and comfortable you can be.
In the long run, this may have been better for your game. Now each one of those girls knows she can hang out with you without feeling pressure. Just make sure you keep a good mixture of comfort and sexual tension going with each girl (kino, etc).
Imagine what would have happened if you picked just one girl as a target and that one girl didn’t actually work out for the night (or for anything further). You still would have went home empty handed but without the added benefit of building rapport with the other girls.
Who knows you may have each one of these girls in your bed at some point because of the way you acted with each one of them last night.
Instead of looking at the night as a whole picture, try and see what you could have done in each individual situation to improve your game with each girl. I want to see a field report about what actually happened with each girl, not what didn’t happen as a whole.
I’d wish you luck but this game takes skills not luck. So good skills.
Ana
I dont think it was a total loss. If a guy is trying to hard its a major turn off. This may very well help you in the long run.
For just one moment I thought you were talking about the one eyed trouser snake!
Nothing wrong with edging your bets and aiming yourself at two, with the possibility of it working out with at least one of them but not missing both. lol
Ana, Mrs. Zigzagman, Suze,
You all make a good point, that I was basically laying the foundation for a future relationship(s) with these women. It is quite possible that I can still bed one or more of them, but this is not the point I was trying to make in this post.
One of the big sticking points for guys in the seduction community is their failure to escalate with a woman who you have created attraction with and have developed rapport with. The next step in the process is seducing, which takes a lot of balls for someone to do. Its a big risk for most men, because of the potential for rejection.
In regards to the women the other night; I had already created attraction and rapport during a previous nights. By continuing to dwell on attraction/rapport I was not getting anywhere. Sure it didn’t hurt my future chances with these women, but really it didn’t get me any futher with them either.
What was needed was for me to take a risk by isolating one of the women and seducing them. Really, this can only be done by picking one woman who I want to be intimate with and focus on escalating, i.e. increasing the sexual vibe and going for a kiss.
Ok, this comment is rambling on but hope I got my point across. Thank you ladies for giving me your feedback, it is always helpful to hear a woman’s perspective. Thanks!
-Matt
Ana,
I just wanted to make an additional response to one thing you said here:
Imagine what would have happened if you picked just one girl as a target and that one girl didn’t actually work out for the night (or for anything further). You still would have went home empty handed but without the added benefit of building rapport with the other girls.
To me this is the wrong kind of frame to have and is what a lot of the top pick-up artist warn against. It’s called outcome dependency, which is focusing on the outcome of a situation before it actually happens.
Above you say that I MAY be better off because things MAY have not worked out with one particular girl. You’re creating the possibilty that I would have gone home “empty handed.” Of course, this is certainly a possible outcome but using this possibility as an excuse not to even try seems a bit pointless.
So by not choosing one girl to escalate with, I’m guranteeing that I will infact go home empty handed. Where as if I took the risk then at least there is a chance that something will develop.
I suppose it comes down to a choice. Do I want good rapport with a bunch of women or do I want a sexual relationship with one of those women. To me, I’d rather have the later option.
Although, having a sexual relationship with ALL of them would be the best option but I’m not even close to being able to pull that off right now:)
-Matt
I’ve been snake eyes too at a student party where i was. I had three options and I couldn’t focus on one of them. At some point I even felt a bit jaleaous because one of the three girls was flirting with another guy!
I couldn’t chose, and I didn’t close any of them. Looking back at it I know i definitely should have chosen one and dared to take a risk.
Also, chosing = taking a risk, so that’s why it makes it difficult, but it is necessary to do it anyway.
So I totally agree with you Matt
Matt,
Good points. I am still getting used to this whole PUA thing and I definitely do not understand frame control yet.
In retrospect, which girl would you have picked? And how would you have proceeded? (if you had it to do over again).
It sounds like it was a learning experience and you have a good idea of what went wrong. I am confident we’ll be reading LR instead of FR soon enough.
Ana
Dan,
Yes, it seems like taking risks with women is what seperates the PUAs from the AFCs.
Ana,
If I had to pick one of the girls from this night to focus on it’d probably be Snoopy Girl. There is something I really like about her but I’m not too sure what it is yet.
Here’s the thing, out of all the girls, Snoopy Girl would probably be the most difficult one to seduce. Hmmm, perhaps that’s why I like her, because she is a challenge. I don’t know.
On the other hand, things were getting kind of physical with Nurse Nancy, so she was probably the most likely girl I had a chance with.
Shit, it’s a tough decision. I guess that’s why I got snake eyes in the first place!
-Matt
Thanks for renting on my blog. You are a great writer. I so enjoy coming here and reading.
Have a good week.
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