February 2007

On Wednesday evening, I get home from work and notice I have a voice mail on my phone. I listen to it.

“Hey Matt, this is Wing Woman. I hope you don’t mind me calling, I got your number from Wingman Stick. Listen, me and Crazy Girl are going out tomorrow and you NEED to come with us. We are going to get you laid, if it’s the last thing we do. Call me back, bye.”

Interesting.

I call Wing Woman back and chat with her. We agree that we will be rocking out on Thursday night and that she would help me pick-up women.

Now, for those of you who haven’t been following the blog, Wing Woman is currently seeing my best friend, Wingman Stick. Crazy Girl is Wing Woman’s best friend. These two girls, Wingman Stick and I have all gone out on several occasions in the last month because we all seem to have a really fun time together.

Ok, fast forward to Thursday night.

I meet up with Wing Woman and Crazy Girl at College Bar. It’s early still, so we get some drinks and sit down. Then Crazy Girl asks me something that has been sitting heavily on my mind since last night.

“So tell me, what type of girl are you looking for?”

“Hmmm, interesting question. I guess I don’t really have a type, I’m not very picky.”

“That’s bullshit. Everyone is attracted to certain types of people more than others.”

“No really, I am attracted to all types of different women.”

“Well how do you expect to find someone if you don’t know what you want?”

This last line really shook me to the core. I haven’t really thought about what I am looking for in a women or what my type is. It’s just something that I never really thought was important in meeting women. My thinking has always been that when I find someone I really like, then that’s my type. Perhaps I’ll think about this more later.

Eventually, the DJ starts playing his tunes and we decide to hit the dance floor.

At first, I use my fierce dance skills to swing and maneuver Wing Woman and Crazy Girl around the floor. Then after an hour of tearing it up, I find myself in a group of cute young college girls. I start dancing with each of them. We are all having a great time.

Later on while still dancing, I feel someone grab my hand and pull me to the side of the dance floor. It is Wing Woman. We start dancing, but not the fast paced, peppy stuff from earlier. This dance is a bit more…seductive. Things start to get physical as our hands and legs invade each other’s territory. She gives me that look…you know…THE look. This is not good.

I snap out of it. I back off from Wing Woman and go to the bar to cool off, realizing that I’m getting a bit too steamy with my best friend’s girl. If there is one thing that I value above anything else in my life, it is my friends. There is no way that I’d ever cheat on a friend.

After some time of getting my head straightened out, I make way back to the dance floor in the hopes of attracting some of the other lovely ladies. I approach a few more women and dance with them but by this time I’m just getting too exhausted and have a hard time staying focused.

Eventually my tiredness is too much and it is time to call it a night. I tell Wing Woman that I really have to go and then get out of there as fast as I can.

I can’t help but think that Wing Woman had an ulterior motive tonight. Here is why I believe that she likes me:

• I found out that she didn’t even bother inviting Wingman Stick
• Over the past few weeks she has been much more flirty with me than normal
• She didn’t help me meet women like she said but just the opposite. She was dragging me away from women to dance with her most of the night.
• Here’s the clincher. She said, “Don’t tell Wingman Stick about tonight.”

So, I obviously have a complicated little mess on my hands. I’m thinking that it might be best to steer clear from her for awhile, which could be difficult considering she is always with Wingman Stick. What’s a guy supposed to do?

Have you ever heard of the term “snake eyes” in regards to meeting women? No. Well then, let me explain.

Apparently if you take a snake and you stick a mouse on each side of its head, the snake will not attack either mouse. The reason for this is because the snake is greedy. He wants both mice. If he attacks one then the other mouse will get away. Because of the snake’s greed he will just sit there trying to figure out how to get both mice. The result is that both mice get away because the snake didn’t focus on picking one mouse and then attacking it.

This same concept can happen to men. The typical scenario is that a man finds himself in the company of more than one beautiful woman. Because the man is greedy, he spreads himself too thin trying to attract all of the women rather than focusing on getting just one. As a result he loses all of them.

This is what happened to me last night. I got snake eyes.

I went out with some friends and by chance many of my recent muses all showed up at the same bar. There was Dido Girl, Snoopy Girl, Wild Wendy, Nurse Nancy, the flirty waitress, and another woman who I cold approached earlier in the night. The advantage here is that I had many options and had a lot of good social proof. The problem is that I didn’t pick which one would be my target.

Essentially, I would keep circling around the bar and spending a little time flirting with each girl before moving on to the next. Though it seemed like a good idea at the time, it was probably the worst thing I could do. I kept at this for most of the night and before I knew it the bar was closing down and I was left without having gotten anywhere with these women.

So, the lesson to be learned here is: pick a target and focus on that target.

Last night was just amazing. Despite the witty post title it does not involve a blow job but does however involve the BLOWW (Boston League of Women Wrestlers) organization. Yes, last night I went to a women’s wresting match. It was probably the most fun I’ve had in months.

Wingman Stick and I roll into the bar. The place is packed. There is a heavy metal band playing on the stage. I look around and notice that a bunch of the women are dressed up in costumes. One is a nurse, one is a pirate and one is cheerleader. These are some of the women wrestlers.

Approach 75: I notice a cute woman sitting on a bar stool. I approach her and ask if she is wrestling tonight. She laughs at this because she is clearly not in costume like the rest of the wrestlers. She says she is not a wrestler but looked like fun. I ask her if she was going to be a wrestler what would her character be. This got us into a role playing type of conversation where we’d invent different wrestling personas. I eventually eject when her boyfriend shows up and gives me the stare down.

I notice that Wing Woman has arrived with her friend Waitress Wendy. We all chit chat while waiting for the wrestling match to start. I’m bantering with Waitress Wendy and she starts to get really playful with me. I role play with her about picking a wrestling character for her. She begins to lean into me a lot and keeps touching me on the waist and chest. I kino her back. I’m pretty sure it is ON with her.

As soon I’m about to isolate Waitress Wendy, there is an announcement that the match is about to start. We are rushed down to the stage area to watch.

I’m standing around the wrestling ring with Waitress Wendy huddled up next to me. The show begins. A surly announcer comes out dressed in a ridiculous redneck outfit; He is known as Nash DeVille. He begins trash talking to the audience and tells us to get ready for the mayhem.

Two women enter the ring. One is a pirate and the other is a ninja. At first, they take turns with the microphone bitching each other out. Then in a rage of fury they attack each other with their swords. The sword play quickly turns into an all out wrestling match, complete with fake punches, pile drivers, and back breakers. It was absolutely hilarious.

This was just one of many matches that night, each one with it’s own special characters, and it’s own drama. The best part was how well they were able to get the crowd fired up. It was pretty funny having the rowdy crowd booing and cheering different wrestlers. The show finally ends with an all out royal rumble with each wrestler jumping into the ring.

Approach 76: After the dust settles and the crowd disperses, I see one of the wrestlers walking in my direction. I stop her and begin a conversation about the show. I give her some of my ideas for her character. She likes my suggestions and thanks me for watching. She then leaves to change out of her outfit.

Approach 77: I notice another wrestler standing near the bar. I go over and tell her how much I enjoyed the show. We have a brief conversation but she quickly leaves.

Later in the night, a rock band comes on. Our crew of four decides to go and dance in front of the stage. I twirl Wing Woman around a few times and then grab Waitress Wendy’s hand to dance. We strut our stuff for awhile until the girls leave to replenish their drinks.

Approach 78: As I’m standing in front of the stage rocking out, I notice two cuties standing behind me. I can see them checking me out from the corner of my eye. I turn around and make some comment about the band. There is some flirting back and forth but doesn’t go much further because I get dragged back to the dance floor by Wing Woman.

It’s close to the end of the night and I’m at the bar chatting with Wingman Stick when I realize that I haven’t seen Waitress Wendy in awhile. I look around and notice her getting cozy with some other dude. In fact, I see them begin to kiss each other.

I’m not going to lie, I got pretty jealous over this, even though I shouldn’t have. I though I was in pretty good with Waitress Wendy but perhaps I didn’t attract her as well as I thought. What I should have done was isolate her earlier in the night to create some rapport between the two of us. Oh well, lesson learned.

The night is over. Waitress Wendy left with her dude and I share a cab home with Wingman Stick and Wing Woman. It was still a fun night watching wrestling and dancing. I would definitely go to see another BLOWW show again. It might even make a really good date!

It’s a cold, wet, snowy Valentine’s Day here in Boston. I wake up this morning hoping that the city will be closed down and work will be canceled. I have that same hope as when I was a little kid praying for school to be canceled. I look out the window to survey the damage. Crap! There is only a small layer of slush carpeting the roads, nothing that will give me the day off.

I make the journey to work while thinking of what needs to be done for this Valentine’s Day. First on the list will be to call my mom and my grandmother. They always appreciate the gesture and even though I call every year they always act like they’re surprised. You gotta love em.

Next on the list is to make it through the day without puking from all the lovey dovey crap that I’ll hear around the office. Everyone in a relationship will have to tell everyone else what special thing they are doing for their significant other. I’ll get to hear about who got chocolates, who got flowers, and who is going out for an expensive romantic dinner. Ugh, I’m getting nauseous.

I’m sitting at my desk now typing and I overhear our secretary tell someone that she bought flowers for herself. WTF! After doing a quick Google search, I find that 15% of U.S. women send flowers to themselves on Valentines Day. I’m not sure what to make of this, is it a social proof thing? Are they in denial that they’re not in a relationship? I don’t know, it’s weird.

All week I’ve been hearing about this new anti-Valentines sentiment. It’s basically a backlash against the holiday due to its over commercialization. Not to mention that it divides people into two types: those in a relationship and those that aren’t. I suppose all those single people are sick and tired of hearing about their non-relationships.

Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is. Valentine’s is just another day. You can make it whatever you want it to be. Although, for those that are in relationships, do you really need a special day to show your love for each other? Maybe I just have immunity from being single for so long.